FACEBOOK. HOW ABOUT BREASTBOOK?
It’s one of the great dichotomies of motherhood.
After years of being told to “Get ya tits out!” suddenly, when they become useful, we’re told to “Put ‘em away!”
Yesterday, protesters gathered at Facebook offices around the world, angry about the removal of breastfeeding photos. Lucy Allen, 21 years old from Sydney, was locked out of her account for two days for posting this picture.
This is not pornography.
Lucy Allen is doing what grandmothers, mothers, sisters and girlfriends did for generations – helping others through those first fraught months.
The statistics are enough to make your milk curdle. From a 92 percent start rate, only 14 percent of Australian babies are exclusively breastfed for the six months as recommended by the World Health Organisation.
It’s appalling but unsurprising.
Most women are kicked out of public hospitals before their milk has even come in. Without traditional support networks, they’re left on their own to cope with cracked nipples, reduced milk flow and mastitis.
My sister almost bled to death during the delivery of her first child. She was discharged from hospital barely 36 hours later. What followed were months of pain, shame, and deep depression.
When my son was born prematurely, I enlisted the help of a breastfeeding nurse. I was able to keep Taj on the breast for eight months. Then Grace came along and it all fell apart.
I lost my job. My milk dried up. And I got mastitis five times.
One day, after spending a week in the house in my tracksuit, I shuffled down to the local coffee shop with the baby and toddler in tow.
I flopped in a chair, popped out a boob, and began feeding. A guy looked over, recoiled, and said, “Put it away, luv”.
I could have killed him. Instead, I burst into tears.
It’s no wonder we hide at home suffering in silence. Or quit our jobs.
While the public sector is female friendly, only a handful of private companies have breastfeeding rooms. Some women sneak off to the toilet to express their milk.
Others cop comments from colleagues like, “Why does she get time off work to feed her baby?”
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77 Responses to this article
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Susan February 8, 2012
Thanks Tracey. I totally agree with you. The more women see other women breastfeeding their babies in public, the more normal it will be, and the more open and honest we can all be about our breastfeeding experiences, troubles and questions.
Also, the Australian Breastfeeding Association helpline is a great source of mother to mother support. It is manned by volunteer mothers 24 hours a day . 1800 686 268.
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Kath Morris February 8, 2012
I too, had no support after the birth of my first child. That was nearly 17 years ago. It was all too much for me after only a week and the sad part about was that I had enough milk to feed a whole nursery. Out came the cabbage leaves and a crash course in making up multiple bottles of formula. I’m happy to say though that my baby is a fairly healthy almost 17 year old unscarred from drinking formula over breast milk.
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Sarah K February 8, 2012
Well said, Tracey. This kind of PC crap makes my blood boil. Facebook should, quite frankly, pull its head in. Breastfeeding is a normal, natural part of life and should be viewed as such. To do otherwise perpetuates the ridiculous notion that it is somehow ‘taboo’ and needs to be hidden.
Mothers need all the support they can get, regardless of whether they breastfeed or not. In my opinion, happy mothers = happy babies.
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Aeron Winters February 8, 2012
Great article Tracey. I agree that facebook needs to get over itself and look at what’s being shared before pulling it down. Breastfeeding is completely natural and is not sexual in any way.
I too struggled with breastfeeding. Even my own mother told me to just get over it and put my daughter on formula. Thankfully, my desire to provide the very best start for my preterm baby only made me more determined to keep breastfeeding. I suffered from painful bleeding nipples from my daughter’s inability to latch properly which also lead to her getting a lot of wind. Thankfully, we struggled on and eventually both of us worked it out. She thrived and I fed her until she weaned herself and just over 10 months, shortly after she started walking.
As for breastfeeding in public, well, with a baby that wants to feed every hour or two, I had no choice. I feed everywhere, all the time and didn’t much care what people thought. I had this wonderful sling that allowed to me feed her using only one hand to support or her so I could push a trolley with the other, or eat my lunch, or lift my coffee cup…well you get the picture. If anyone ever said anything about it I told them to get over it. It is as nature intended and that they should be chastising the mothers who bottle feed, when they have a choice.
After a time, I felt sorry for all those mothers who either didn’t try or couldn’t breastfeed. All those bottles to sterilise and formula to warm up…no way. It’s much easier to just pop your baby on a nipple…no mess, no fuss (well after the initial struggle of getting it all sorted that is.)
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Jennifer February 8, 2012
Tracey, thanks so much for your article. You are right, we need to see breastfeeding in society so that children, adolescents and young adults are exposed to the norm of infants feeding at the breast. This would most likely improve their understanding of the process and of positioning and attachment, which would most likely result in improved breastfeeding rates.
When babies are breastfed in public, they are just tucking in to something yummy. When a family photograph this, it is NO different to taking photos of first steps or of them sitting in a high chair trying their first foods. When families share these on Facebook, it is about personal choice, and should be respected as such.
On a side note, the term “breastfeeding nazi” is pretty insulting. Breastfeeding advocates, such as breastfeeding counsellors with the Australian Breastfeeding Association (like me!), understand that breastfeeding isn’t easy, and that each family will make the feeding decision which is right for them. However, we do advocate for this choice to be well informed, and for appropriate support both by health professionals, the community and family to improve the odds of successfully establishing breastfeeding for those who initiate breastfeeding (over 90%).
The Australian Breastfeeding Association National Breastfeeding Helpline is available to the whole community 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If breastfeeding is tricky, or you are struggling with misinformation or unsupportive family or friends, call 1800 686 268. -
MsPraxis February 8, 2012
It’s not just Facebook. I uploaded a picture to Photobucket of myself at 8 months pregnant. A beautiful, tasteful photo in b/w.
They removed the photo and send me an email saying I had contravened their terms and posted pornography.
I believe this issue isn’t really about breastfeeding per se, it’s about the bizarre USA (religious conservative?) fixation on women’s bodies and the perception that they are somehow dirty and shameful. A society that is totally fine with ultra violence yet recoils in hysteria at the site of a breast or a nipple and screams PORN!
This is just another manifestation of a much deeper and darker issue at play here and it needs to be dragged out into the light.
As an aside, I breastfed my son for 13 months and never experienced any problems when publicly breastfeeding. My heart breaks for all those who experience the ignorance of those who have an issue with it.
Keep up the good work Hoopla!
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Lady Lou February 8, 2012
I’m sorry but really!! Why would you post pictures of you breastfeeding onto Facebook or Flickr or whatever.
What happened to privacy of imagery? What happened to respecting your privacy? Respecting others viewing?
What about respecting the intimacy of the moment with your child, rather than flaunting it?
What if your friends don’t want to see that. Yes, some may like to see it.
I think it is fair that Facebook blocked it. There are some perverts out there, who get off on that stuff.
Are we allowing ourselves to be objectified?
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shell February 9, 2012
Lady lou, you point is redundant and illogical. If you’re offended by images of breastfdeeding maybe it’s because you’re harbouring some deep seeded resentment you mother never bf you. Or you are that ignorant about your own body and those of all created women. Our breasts are there to make milk from our offspring. Should i shock you by informing you we are mamals? We dont have cans of formula strapped to our chests we have breasts. have you bothred to find out the benfits of breastfeeding? Most women know the health benefits and wondrous thing breastmilk is so they put up with fools and their misguided advice and dirty looks to give their babies the best startr it life. If you dont like looking at these images, turn your head away, the same thing i do when im facbook and see images of skantily clad sexually provocative pictures. It works both ways, luv.
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Lady Lou February 9, 2012
@shell – Good on you! Low bow on the Mother issues. Calm down, just voicing my opinion.
Not at all attacking breastfeeding, just not impressed with posting the imagery on social sites such as Facebook or Flckr.
I agree breastfeeding is natural and part of motherhood. Fair enough. I’m all for it. Was breastfeed and will breastfeed my child. I am just opposed to posting images on the Internet, where it remains, regardless of it being deleted later on.
You see the predictment of posting images on any site??
Great article. Great comments.
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shell February 9, 2012
You cant sensor the world. Are you really going to say some perverts out there get off on seeing it? Anyone, so inclined to be aroused by something will. Think it takes more than seeing a child skip and run to the shop with its parents to get a pedos rocks going? Or what about a girl wearing a short skirt around any heterosexual male? ooooh no perverts are everywhere. If someone told me they thought breastfeeding my baby was the most beautiful thing they’d ever seen, male or female, it would move me. I would not throw my arms up and how dare you look. Have you seen a woman breastfeed? We dont flash our tits around. If you’ve ever seen me do it i have a blanket over my shoulder and i will find a less busy place to sit or walk. They only thing you rae going to see is my sons legs sticking out from this blanket. grow up! This comment you and some others have posted just proves your ignorance on this matter and until you all become better aquiainted with the facts and not your misguided subjective, sexist, discriminatory ( i should point out also it is against the law to discriminate feeding mothers.) opinion. I find your opinion offensive. but you are entitled to it re free speech. And you have no right to discriminate a bf mother.
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Sarah February 10, 2012
I totally agree with you Mary!!
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Eve Latinski February 10, 2012
Well said Lady Lou!
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misskdonkey February 8, 2012
I’ve said here before and I’ll say it again, why would you share this photo with the world? Who do you think wants to see it? If some pervert downloded it to add to his collection you’d be outraged. Where do we draw the line here? its no different to videos of births, weddings and holidays, or filming your kid getting its nappy changed, interesting andfunny and cute to the small group of people its meanfull too, not the world at large. Get a bit of perpsective, and Tracey why the local coffee shop? Why not your own house? In my local coffee shop last week a young mum proceeded to change the babies nappy in front of everyone, why not bring the potty in for the toddler too. Your child is the centre of you own universe, its welfare and care is your primary concern, not mine.
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dramaqueen75 February 8, 2012
My eldest is now 18. She was a tiny baby and needed to be fed every two and half hours. After the first few weeks of learning how to feed her and getting comfortable with the whole thing I started to go out again and yes, I breast fed in public and yes, I breast fed in coffee shops too!
I would sit with my back to the bulk of the patrons in the shop but I never covered up with a massive sheet or blanket like I see some women do. Heck, it was summer time, it was hot!
Never, ever was I asked to “put it away” or even given odd looks. I had three kids, breast fed all of them until they weaned themselves at about the 12 months mark. I had nothing but kindness from strangers, if they ever bothered to comment at all.
missdonkey, your comment here makes me very sad. It’s almost 20 years since I had my first child and breast fed comfortably in public whenever she was hungry. I am saddened to see such a negative comment about breast feeding and childcare in 2012. I sincerely hope you keep your judgment to yourself and don’t say anything to those mum’s doing the best that they can.
BTW, I agree, changing a nappy in an eating place in inappropriate, but breast feeding is totally appropriate.
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Chris February 8, 2012
While I may be a mere male, and not understand the ups and downs of motherhood, I have watched and supported my wife give birth to my three daughters, and supported her choice to breastfeed all of them, whenever they needed it. To any so-called ‘blokes’ out there that have a problem with this, just remember you were probably breastfeed yourself. We should be encouraging the women in our lives to continue with this practice…and to the so-called mediators of Facebook… a big raspberry to you, there is nothing more natural than a mother breast feeding her baby and NOTHING sexual about it…grow a brain, and if it can help other mothers to breast feed their babies, more power to them.
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royce February 8, 2012
Every time I see a breastfeeding mother, I feel a strange feeling [I'm a bloke]… it surely isn’t sexual…. it’s a kind of protective good feeling. It’s rather like all is good in the world and how it should be.
There is something sick about even making a fuss. It’s just normal.
Sigh!
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misskdonkey February 8, 2012
Hi Dramaqueen, no I don’t share my view with anyone in the cafe, I smile and be nice when I’m run over by their prams and when the kids are running riot, just like every other long suffering patron, its just not PC took make a comment is it. Its 36 years since I had my first child and I still think most mums could probably find something way more interesting for their kids to do than hang out in coffee shops, whether the kid enjoys it or not.
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meedee February 8, 2012
I have 3 daughters and breast feed each of them.
The eldest until she was 13 months old
The middle child until she was a year
and the youngest until she was 9mths.
I fed them in public if needed. Most shopping centers had Parents rooms so this was not much of an issue.
On those occassions where I did feed them while in a coffee shop I never had anyone ever make a comment or even look at me in a disapproving way.
I also would not want a photo of me like the one of Lucy to be posted on the net but then i wouldnt want a photo of me in a bikini to be posted on the net either. Some people are happy to share their lives with others on the net and some are not. I dont really like the idea of total strangers and perhaps some weird perverted types getting some kind of crazed kick out of photos of me like that so those that are in exsistance are just for the private family album. Each to their own.I heard that someones facebook page was closed down because of breast feeding photos and i wondered how “bad” these photos might have been. I was not expecting the photo thats posted above. I was expecting something far worse and perhaps kind of weird. The other day on facebook i saw a photo that was posted of a woman who was in her backyard 100% naked and standing on her head with the baby suckling away. Apparently its some “breastfeeding yoga” thing. Although very clever and although I fully support woman wanting to breastfeed their children i must admit that if i happened to look out my window and saw the woman nextdoor totally naked and standing on her head with her baby suckling at her breast im really not sure that i would find that acceptable but if she wants to do that in her lounge room then more power to her.
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MoniqueN February 9, 2012
Hang on, I’m trying to get a mental image of this… so the woman is standing on her head and breastfeeding her child at the same time… so is the baby right way up or upside down, and what kind of Cirque du Soleil contortions do you have to perform to get yourself and the bub into that position in the first place?
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meedee February 9, 2012
The Bub was sitting on the ground and was the right way up. Kinda wish Id saved the photo now so i could show you.
ok..i just went to google and typed in “Breast feeding yoga” and the pic is there…give a try…googling i mean not breast feeding while standing on your head.
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sue February 8, 2012
bloody obvious that Facebook is being run by men!
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Erin February 8, 2012
I love Royce …
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Lisa Forrest February 8, 2012
I never encountered any problems while breastfeeding in public, although I did it rarely. I’m a fairly discreet person and the idea of sitting exposed like that was not my idea of comfortable.
I was a regular on Beauty and the Beast during my pregnancy and, one day when this topic came up I was in the middle of my voicing my opinion, that I thought the pressure women were under to breastfeed was unacceptable and that my Mum had not breast fed me when, from the other side of the panel, a Melbourne comedian, who had breastfed her child till he was three screamed, ‘Well, that’s obviously what’s wrong with you then.’
It probably doesn’t need to be said that there is nothing wrong with me that breast-feeding would have changed. I have a strong relationship with my mother and I’m ended up as an Olympian – but that’s how ridiculously shrill this argument gets.
As it turns out I did breastfeed my son; we had no trouble, but I kept it up for longer than I wanted to because I felt guilty about stopping especially when so many of the girls I knew who were desperate to breastfeed were going through hell trying to do it. But I have never been so happy as the day my son weaned himself – I no longer felt like a cow!
The reason we so often have this debate is because birth and breastfeeding is deeply political. A mid-wife I interviewed from University of Newcastle a few years ago explained it something like this:
In the 1930’s doctors in this country decided that the best way to ensure they had long-term business was to get clients from the moment they entered the world. So being a group with money and decent political clout they organised advertising that painted mid-wives as old-fashioned, since they’d been around since the First Fleet, un-clean and un-safe for your baby. And they were able to convince politicians to tie family endowment payments to having a doctor at the birth.
Then in the 1960’s and 70’s with the aid of the counter-culture and women’s lib movement, the mid-wives fought back with the argument that a woman was not doing the natural and right thing by subjecting their baby to the invasive, unnatural methods of doctors and modern medicine, and were therefore not good mothers.
The debate continues to this day. Stuck in the middle is the poor woman trying to exercise a bit of common sense in an area where common sense has well and truly gone out the window.
I think a photo like the one on Facebook is a genuinely innocent moment in a young mother’s life – as we are coming to understand 21-year olds aren’t bothered about privacy.
But its subsequent banning by Facebook is just one more opportunity for the proponents of the all-natural movement to push their own bandwagon, which I don’t think makes them any better than the doctors of the 1930’s.I believe there is breastfeeding in public and there’s making a statement about breastfeeding in public.
Ultimately, it’s got little to do with mothering. As one very wise woman said to me, ‘When your sixteen-year old daughter turns around and yells at you, “F*** off, you’ve ruined my life,” epidurals and breastfeeding have long ceased to matter.’
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linda February 9, 2012
You know that lips and hands are far more sexual than breasts, don’t you? Are we banning photos of faces and hands next?
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Nat February 9, 2012
Great article. I was worried about reading the comments as so many reports on this have had very very offensive and rude comments after it.
There are many things on Facebook I don’t want to see. Rape pages. Pedophilia pages. Yet they block breastfeeding.
I’ve heard the above photo was posted is response to questions as to how the express milk and feed as the same time. Regardless of what you personally would post, it’s about double standards. Of all the stuff on facebook, it think these aren’t even close to the most offensive things on facebook. -
Nicole T February 9, 2012
@Missdonkey,
I believe you are missing the point…….why shouldnt she be allowed to?? Breastfeeding is EXTREMELY difficult and especially in our society today. The sexualisation of breasts make it “taboo” for mothers and especially new mothers, do exactly what nature made breast for. I only have 1 child and proudly breastfed her for 9 months. I did in public, and did so discreetly. If I wanted to share this image with close friends on a social networking site ie. facebook.Why should I NOT be able to???????
That is the essential question.
And….. to add….. children are OUR future!!!! Its a shame our whole community doesnt feel helping raise our future is everyones responsibility……
Tracey… thank you for such a great article.
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Peta February 9, 2012
Breastfeeding is beautiful!!! It is the best thing to see and if you ask me you dont see enough people doing it. I have a 4 month baby who i breastfeed and i dont care what anyone else thinks i will feed her when she is hungry no matter where it is. Why should i have to shut myself off from the world, in my car or a smelly change room just to feed my baby, i think its wrong.
So i say all the ladies out there that breastfeed, flaunt it as its not an easy thing to do and tell evryone else who doesnt like it to get stuffed!
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Amanda February 9, 2012
Breastfeeding is natural and in today’s times people are scared to be natural we cover up, hide all because we are ashamed of ourselves or what other people will say about us breast feeding will be frowned upon. I breast fed my girls for 12 months and the looks I got oh Man but that … Feeling you get when you feed your own child is irreplaceable. Totally natural.
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misskdonkey February 9, 2012
Hi Nicole, I see your point, and I suppose its articles like this ignite all sorts of debate all of which is good, except I don’t believe breastfeeding is taboo, just as I don’t believe its extremely difficult, I think what is difficult is some people have decided to make having babies a public soapbox, with issues like breastfeeding, smacking children, what we feed and when we feed children, childhood obesity, disposable nappy v cloth nappies, the list goes on and on, I think we, as women are our own worst enemy, we are critical of women who decide not to breastfeed, we are critical of when we decide to wean a child, we are critical of everything, and publicly. I don’t think these arguments are about our children, or whats best for them, its about us and our predisposition to make mothering a public statement, so while Facebook is hypocritical about closing this girls account and making such a stupid pointless statement, I still don’t understand the point of the photo, and its lack of privacy for Both people in the photo.
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Aeron Winters February 9, 2012
I think you are very misinformed missdonkey, For some of us, breastfeeding is very difficult. I had such pain and bleeding I seriously considered stopping, but I was determined. I was lucky, I had one person whe had experienced that ‘pain all the way to your toes’ feeling and she encouraged me to keep trying because it is worth it. I did, and it was.
As for your comment about the point of the photo, I would have loved to have seen a photo just like this when I was trying to express milk to put aside for my daughter so I could leave her with someone and miss the occasional feeding. Unfortunately, I didn’t see such a photo, nor was I able to get help, so I never was able to express extra milk and was therefore unable to leave my baby with anyone even for an hour. Just because you don’t understand the need for this photo, doesn’t mean it’s not useful or helpful to someone else.
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Kerrie February 9, 2012
If you don’t like facebook’s terms and conditions, don’t use it. Spend the time and money making your own social media site. Like any business, they should have the right to set the rules of conduct, provided it is lawful.
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jade February 9, 2012
when i had my 4 baby i was not really well i got masditis and did not know what it was i got really sick from it and could hardly move. i had a friend come over that works for the hospital she has a mid wife with her. they had one look at me and drove me down to the doctors and got me strate in. when the doctor looked at me he said to me why didnt you come down when you fetl unwell at the bigging i said coz it is just the flu. he said to me show me your boobs. so i showed him the midwife was there the hole time. he then told me that i was very lucky if i had of waited any longer i would be dead. yes that is right it can kill you and i did not know that. he was going to admit me to hospital but then i started to cry and said no. the midwife then stood up and said she would come and see me every day and she did. it was very hard my boobs were so sore and it hurt to wear a shirt but i had to. i was on tablets for 3 weeks to get rid of it. but after that my milk dried up and bubby was left on s26. he was only a few weeks old i cryed coz with all 4 kids the longest i have feed them was only 6 weeks coz i lost my milk.
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Stacey February 9, 2012
Great article and completely agree.
Just a little niggled by the BF Nazi/bottle feeding for convenience comment. I was in the same emotional situation as the mother in the cafe and that was due to the pressure to BF when I couldn’t. I got all the help in the world but it just wasn’t right for me and my little one.
On the brink of a breakdown and a very sick non-thriving baby and the BF Nazi kept saying don’t worry, keep doing it…when it clearly was dangerously not working. Then months of feeling like a failure and terrible mother when I ‘gave in’.
So there is a BF Nazi out there and I’m not a mother who bottle fed for ‘convenience’.
That is all, the rest is spot in -
Shannon February 9, 2012
Missdonkey, I find it very amusing to read your most recent post above about women being their own worst enemy and being critical of others for various reasons. How hyprocritical given the content of your previous posts on this topic! When I read your first comment, I thought perhaps it was written by someone without children. I was very surprised to read in your subsequent comments that you are in fact a mother. You may not believe that breastfeeding is extremely difficult, however, for some women it certainly is (and through no fault of their own). Your comment about mothers finding something more interesting to do than hang out in coffee shops is also very offensive. Why should mothers with children be discriminated against when it comes to where they choose to eat and drink? Should some coffee shops have a “no mothers with children” policy so that middle aged,intolerant persons like yourself can enjoy their meals in peace?! Finally, although the welfare of today’s children is not currently your primary concern, perhaps you should stop to consider the fact that one day our children may possibly be caring for you in some capacity in your old age (e.g. as doctors, nurses, etc). Based on all your narrow-minded comments throughout this thread, I find your username particularly fitting.
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Specy February 9, 2012
I’ve gotten my BOOBIES out for my profile pic in support. All hail the best NATURE has to offer (.)(.)
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R Ella February 9, 2012
I think it’s a gross photo!! Why would anyone WANT to put pictures like that up?? I don’t want to see your boobs, with or without a baby hanging off them. Who cares if it’s “natural” – a lot of bodily actions are normal but I don’t want to see them on my internet either. Keep some things sacred.
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Maria February 9, 2012
Breasts are not sexual objects? Oh, really? Here we have a society, where for centuries the upper body was meant to be covered, certain publishing material with girls bossoms meaning to be arousing, we have breast implants, for crying out loud. And yet, suddenly, we expect absolutely everyone to be comfortable and unoffended with us exposing our breast on public. It is just not going to work this way. People need to see other people breastfeed to learn how to? I’m sorry, but we didn’t have to watch our parents have sex or someone to have sex on the street to learn how to do it, and do it well. It is something that comes quite naturally to most of us, with some experemintation. Not quite happening? Well, you can seek advise and watch movies. Once again, doesn’t need to happen in shared space. Also, not everyone will be comfortable having their breastfeeding observed by a stranger for learning purposes. After all, it is an intimate process, something to share between mother and a child, not a crowd.
To shift society’s perception of breasts, making them purely the child-raring aid, rather than an object of sexual desire, would, probably take centuries more of walking around semi-naked. In the mean time, perhaps having a blanket with you, when you intend to breastfeed on public, will leave everyone content (I have never seen a woman breastfeeding on public with certain modesty get in trouble. Ever.) Unless you’re a bit of an exhibitionist, in which case you will get what you want – attention, but, like with any attention, it’s not always going to be positive.
NB. Yes, I am a mother of two and yes, I have breastfed.
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Diana February 9, 2012
Have you seen the size of some of the man boobs exposed to general view. A lactating mum is doing what comes naturally. Most of the discord comes from who didn’t manage to feed their bub, the indoctrinated or from those self same males with the floppy man boobs
Education is the way to acceptance -
Kathryn February 9, 2012
When my children were small and still breastfeeding, we lived out of town. So when shopping was required, it would take at least half the day. If I had been banned from feeding my child in a coffee shop, which I generally did in a more private corner with a muslin over my shoulder so as to not “flaunt” my boobs, then my kids would’ve been fed where? In a public toilet? MissDonkey, would you eat there?
For the record, my kids don’t terrorise people in coffee shops (they are 4 and 6 now). They sit up, they eat and drink and use their ‘inside’ voices. -
Sarah JK February 9, 2012
Thank you Tracey for speaking up. I can’t believe Facebook’s response and that of other parts of society. There should be nothing but positive support for breadtfeeding mothers, doing the best for their children. Breastfeeding is normal, it should be unremarkable and everyone should give breastfeeding mothers a high five. As everyone has noted it is hard but we do it to give our babies the best. I was hospitalized with mastitis, had cracked nipples and recurrent mastitis. It was the hardest thing I’ve done but I’m so proud of myself. If anyone ever has the nerve to say anything to me they wouldn’t know what hit them. It makes me sad that these things happen and I can’t believe it. We need more education, maybe from primary school. Along with all the other benefits BF has kept my son out of hospital. It is a legally protected right of every woman to breastfeed in public. And I will continue to everywhere and anywhere, in all cultures all over the world. Grow up Facebook and support BF mothers!!
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Fiona February 9, 2012
I have to say, I am always amazed at how people who have had children and breastfed still have views on breast feeding that are from the dark ages! Maria, we have to start somewhere rather than bury our heads in the sand about the breast sexualisation issue. I guess the main thing is that its about context. I really find it hard to believe that a man could look at the picture of the mother feeding and expressing and find anything sexual in that…
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Maria February 9, 2012
Fiona, I have an inkling that in the “dark ages” you are referring to, breastfeeding was a natural exercise, and women brestfed for thousands of years, through wars, famine, epidemies, brestfed their neighbour’s babies when needed, and all without being dubbed heroes. Whereas today ithis natural exercise seems to be given a lot of attention. Granted, we had a period of time last century when breastfeeding was frowned upon, but since then the tendency has shifted back and every parent is now informed, at least once, about the benefits of BF. The rest is their choice. As for the imagery on the internet, the discussion can get very far. All private body parts are, in fact, involved in reproduction or child raring, for that matter. Should they all be desexualised?
I, _personally_, think, there are much bigger issues that need to be addressed – women forced to return to workforce early due to economic situation, support for longer maternity leave etc. This is where breastfeeding needs help first, not on social networking.
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Murasaki February 9, 2012
To all the people that ask “why would you want to post this on facebook” – well the answer is clear! Because its about education and normalising breastfeeding. Clearly a LOT of people still have hang-ups about breastfeeding being somehow sexual or “gross”.
Lucy donates breastmilk to sick babies and to other women that dont produce enough naturally. How amazing is that!! AND she is showing how she gets the best results from pumping.
If you dont like it tighten up your privacy settings so you can only see posts from your own friends. Better get some blinkers for your next trip to the shops too – dear god I hope you never walk past bras n things – get a G rating filter on your tv and never ever go into a convenience store or petrol station.
The term breastfeeding Nazis is extremely offensive. Breastfeeding counsellors and lactation consultants spend a lot of time, often largely volunteer trying to help women breastfeed. If you dont want to, or youre ready to give up, just say so. Many people dont realise that they are sabotaging themselves with routines, bottle top ups etc – which is why it might seem like counsellors are harping on. Nazis were people that committed acts of genocide against millions of people. Imagine how a Jewish bfing counsellor might feel to be called a Nazi for giving up her free time to help other women and babies. Shame! -
Stacey February 9, 2012
I had trouble bf my eldest child of 3 in which I could only feed him for a week before my milk dried up and my milk within a day my middle child due to my low iron I can’t bf for long without getting very sick, I never tried with my youngest as I already knew the risks if I did I might not have still be here today if I had. I wish I could have bf my children for longer then I did but not everything is black and white.
I take my hat off to people the can bf but all that really matters is a happy, healthy mum and bub.
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New mum February 9, 2012
As a new mum (bub is 8 weeks) with extremely large breasts (L cup), flat & inverted nipples & a small-mouthed bub, i can say that BF is proving to be very difficult! my bub gets my expressed breast milk but unfortunately (even on tablets) I don’t have enough milk to give her… Having just fed her the paltry 140ml I took ONE HOUR to pump this morning, I have to rely on formula for the rest of her feeds. I read these comments through tears – we all WANT to feed ‘naturally’ but sometimes we can’t. And it sux. Don’t make the guilt worse by telling me BF is not difficult.
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lillynymph February 9, 2012
In reading the comments to this article it is interesting to note that the initial discussion of the appropriateness of posting images of people breast feeding, has become confused with a both a woman’s right to choose how and where she feeds her baby.
I have breastfed two children and have no issue with either the posting of breastfeeding images on Facebook or breastfeeding in public. This does not mean that I would necessarily choose to share such images personally on this type of forum, but then I do feel the need to share a lot of information about myself on FB (employment, location, family ties etc). Every individual is different and what we choose to share with our friends, community and beyond is ultimately is our choice, so long as the material is not ‘offensive’. So then, what makes an image offensive and who has the right to decide this? Does anyone have the right to tell another person the manner and space in which they can feed their children? What has led to the confusion between breastfeeding and sexualisation? What has led people to the view that breastfeeding is no less offensive disposing of other bodily fluids in public (such as toileting in public)? Why are people less offended at regularly encountering sexualised images in everyday advertising (on magazines, the internet, the sides of buses, tv, etc), than seeing a woman breast feeding either through infrequent exposure to images of a woman breastfeeding on forums such as FB, or encountering the occasional woman breastfeeding at a café or other public space?
When is it time to discriminate?
We like to think that in our society we do not allow discrimination, however, asserting that a woman should not breastfeed her child whilst at a café or restaurant is in fact discrimination. In our society we do not have a hierarchy of who can eat and when, all citizens are free to eat and eat in public spaces, this includes infants either breast or bottle fed.Happily antidiscrimination and advocacy campaigns from various groups (such as the Breastfeeding Friendly Campaign) have seen a growing body of public support for breastfeeding mothers, including businesses and across Australia publicly supporting breastfeeding in their place of business.
Is regulation of images or desensitisation the answer?
Who gets to decide when an image is offensive? Image on the news and in papers have at times been labelled ‘shocking or disturbing’. In fact news readers warn at viewers at times that some images they are about to air may ‘be disturbing’ and not to look if they feel that could be offensive. Even in the case of graphic or disturbing images, the onus is on viewer to turn away from such images, if they find them offensive rather than Medias to suppress them (in most cases).
I have heard the argument that sex is used to sell everything and you can’t avoid images; you just learn to ignore them or get ‘used to them’. You only need to compare a newspaper from a decade ago to a current day newspaper to see that repeated exposure to things desensitises people.
Perhaps then rather than removing breastfeeding images from public forums, we need to encourage the sharing of such images, flooding society with them as a form of desensitisation, to enable breastfeeding once again to become an accepted ‘norm’ and is seen for what it is, simply the most natural way of feeding a baby and nothing more. It is no more offensive than feeding a baby from a bottle or a child with a spoon, fork or chopsticks. -
rob greer February 9, 2012
You are all way too emotional and uninformed on the FB issue.
Facebook does not preemptively remove photos, there are FAR too many uploaded every minute for them to be policing.
If your breastfeeding pics were removed it was because YOUR friends were flagging the photo as inappropriate.
What does this tell me?
1 – you are directing your anger at the wrong people
2 – your “friends” don’t feel the same way you do -
Megan February 9, 2012
I understand being passionate about your beliefs but there are some not so mild undertones of anger in your statement, which I myself am quite bothered by. Why call someone you know nothing about ignorant? So very judgmental, especially for someone who’s main reason for commenting was that others were being judgmental themselves. Shameful.
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Omiababy February 9, 2012
I think the key point here is education. People need to know how to breast feed or they will struggle and then fail. In today’s society people start out bf but without the knowledge or support give up on it.
I breast fed my 2 children, 1 to 14 mths and the other to 11mths. I bf in cafes and parks and any other place I was when they got hungry. I always did so discreetly under a muslin. I never once had a negative comment or even a bad look. I had the support of a great mothers group who all were doing the same thing I was, doing our best. We would go to coffee as a group and when the babies would get hungry the mum would feed. Always under a wrap or cover but we all saw that it was ok to keep going.
I feel that this was what this mother in the photo was trying to achieve. She was showing people that bf is ok and you don’t need to feel alone.
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Megan February 9, 2012
I understand being passionate about your beliefs but there are some not so mild undertones of anger in your statement, which I myself am quite bothered by. Why call someone you know nothing about ignorant? So very judgmental, especially for someone who’s main reason for commenting was that others were being judgmental themselves. How shameful. I agree that breastfeeding is a beautiful thing and no woman should be denied the right to nourish her child at will, however, I do agree that the images being put out onto our social media sites should be more closely censored by their posters. There is nothing wrong with this photo, but how upset would this young lady be if she knew how many pervs out there right now were fapping away to a picture taken & shared in a completely different context. We no longer enjoy the lifestyle of the 30′s, 40′s, or 50′s, one must be much more conscientious now of what is shared because we are sharing with everyone. We must remember we are not all like minded.
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mzmynx February 9, 2012
Ok, I realise I am probably gonna cop ALOT of flack for this comment, but it needs to be said.
I am one of many mothers who have had breastfeeding photographs removed from Facebook. From private and restricted access albums. They have NOT been visible for all and sundry to see. I am PROUD that my body has been able to nurture my 5 children from conception, through birth and beyond!
One of the photographs that was flagged and removed was of me feeding my (at the time) two and a half year old. Eeeewww many people might say, but bear in mind that the World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding for up to two years and beyond. Let me repeat that – TWO YEARS AND BEYOND! And at three and a half years old, he still breastfeeds, as does my sixteen month old.
The photographs which were removed also showed very little breast (and no nipple!), they were more happy feeding face shots of my children, the blissful, content “milk drunk” look. Breastfeeding in public is not illegal, and no mother should be forced to cover up or feed her child in a bathroom because a small section of the community finds it distasteful. I will start feeding my children in the toilet when these ignorant prudes start to eat their meals in the toilet! The internet is a public place, just as a restaurant or cafe is, therefore, just as we are legally allowed to breastfeed in the places, so too should we be allowed to post photographs of our pride and accomplishments.
For those who have said breastfeeding is not difficult – perhaps it wasn’t for you. I know it hasn’t been difficult for me for the most part, but I know many women who have had difficulties, and we all need support and encouragement in order to persevere and do what’s right by our kids.
Perhaps those that do find breastfeeding distasteful should spend a couple of weeks of never leaving their houses EVER and see how their sanity levels prevail!
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mzmynx February 9, 2012
And to Rob Greer, Facebook have verbally admitted (and now deny) that these pictures are flagged by staff members and skin recognition software, and have been removed “in error”. How is our concern misdirected?
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Megan February 9, 2012
Oops, or not. My comment, to clarify, was directed @ Shell, if u care to reply, I would very much like to hear your opinion.
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chovy February 9, 2012
This article really angered me.
I breast fed my first child for 3 months with absolutely no problems. I had to have an extremely painful surgery when she was 3 months old and suffered an MS relapse. I had no choice but to stop as I had to have extremely powerful pain killers after the surgery. At first, I felt really bad about it. But I was assured by my paediatrician that three months of breast feeding is perfectly fine and the baby would have gotten all the nutritional benefits.
The people rallying “breast is best” is what made me feel like crap. Every woman should be allowed a choice that shouldn’t be judged or looked down upon. Sure WHO recommend breast feeding til 85 years of age, but they are ONE organisation and not every medical expert agrees with them.
I agree people shouldn’t be ridiculed for breast feeding in public, but you also can’t help how people feel and by exposing a full breast to people who are not used to it, I feel you just could be a little more respectful… Not everyone has had the same upbringing and we can’t change everyone’s opinions, and it is not up to us to change their opinions, just like what I am saying here is not meant to be taken on by you, maybe just registered and reflected upon.
There are ways to BF that are less confronting. With my second child, who I breast fed to the recommended 6 months, I wore tops that allowed me to breast feed without having to expose my full G cup boobs to any unsuspecting man OR woman. It is naive to believe that everyone should be ok with public breast feeding just because you are.As for the Facebook pics.. well… The world of Facebook isn’t making anything private anymore. You’re constantly updating your statuses, “checking” yourselves in, showing people photos of your brand new blender… Soon you will be uploading videos of your grass growing…
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Emma February 9, 2012
Seriously? You know people who have developed a psychiatric illness as a direct result of breastfeeding difficulties? I call BS. Seriously, for most of us breastfeeding is a bit tricky for the first few weeks. I had cracked, bleeding nipples with both my newborns, but the pain pales in comparrison to either natural childbirth or the early days of caesar recovery (as a mum who has had one of each). Statements like that make women think the can’t breastfeed before they even try.
And who are these ‘breastfeeding nazis’ who are suggesting that people bottlefeed for convenience? As an active member of the Australian Breastfeeding Association and user of facebook and online parenting forums I have never heard anyone say that. Preparing and carting bottles is a PITA. -
will February 9, 2012
It’s pretty simple.
If Facebook has certain rules that we all have to abide by, then so be it. There are other options, like tumblr for instance.
They won’t censor your pics or text… and since it’s presented in blog format, there’s multiple options for sharing & discussing information, hints & tips etc.
Trying to fight Facebook to make them publish your pics is a pretty moot point. Just because you want them to host your pics for whatever reasons (no matter how valid you believe your reasons to be), probably won’t make them change their policy.
Also – bear in mind that Facebook is still a free service, and they don’t ‘owe’ any group of people anything. We, as the users need to shake off our sense of entitlement.
I for one would like to see all manner of things on Facebook – but I acknowledge that’ll never happen due to their terms & conditions… which I accept.
Instead of continuing this futile protest, the energies of all involved, could be channelled much more efficiently and effectively by starting and promoting your own tumblr blog, dedicated to the breastfeeding cause.
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Jess February 9, 2012
Nice article. Im still Bfn my beautiful DD who turns one in under a month. I breastfed her whenever and wherever it was needed. Have a problem with it then put a blanket over your head I reckon.
Facebook should be more accepting BUT it dosnt have to so educating and informing then of the benifiets would go further.
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Mary February 9, 2012
Tracey I hadn’t read this article when I commented on your photo. This is appalling! I struggled to breastfeed both my babies and only achieved 6 months and that was with the help of a private lactation consultant who in Canberra is stretched to the max. I agree support is just not there and I gave up at 6 months because it was that or a slide into a bad place as I was so exhausted with feeding and expressing. In fact with my first I feel I missed the first few months of his life because of struggles with the feeding. Man I wish the guy in that cafe had said that in earshot of me! I’d just love to chew someone like that out.
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Mary Mannion February 9, 2012
Breast feeding is a normal part of life a natural event in the life of a mother and her baby. she should be able to breast feed anywhere.We have almost naked photoes of females on picture boards on the highway, on underclothes ads and then told not to breast feed in public. this is ridiculous.
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Susan Russel February 9, 2012
Absolutely agree with Mary Mannion
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Dani February 10, 2012
I made a personal choice when I had my son, based on my comfort levels, that I did not want to breasfeed. I was very relieved that I had a nurse who was understanding about how I felt! My son did not suffer for it, having formula instead of breastmilk. I think it’s a personal choice on what a woman is physically and mentally capable of doing. I admire women who do choose to breastfeed, it is a beautiful natural thing. Whilst I never had to “pop a boob” in public, I see no issue with a woman doing that – they can’t lock themselves away at home just because they breastfeed! So many of my friends tried to ease the public tension surrounding breastfeeding by tossing a blanket over the baby so that nothing could be seen, but it looked awkward and was just another thing for the mum to carry around! Breastfeed and be proud, ladies!!
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Helen February 10, 2012
go for it Lucy, I am all for breastfeeding being supported and also being acceptble in public. Public attitudes seem to have gone backwards lately, I breastfed both my kids in the 1980′s and did so in public many times with no problems – noone had a problem with it and most people didnt even notice. These days women are encouraged by the disapproving public to have a cloth or blanket to cover them whilst breast-feeding in public. We should all be more accepting of the BABY’s need for food and the BABYs needs emotionally – really it’s none of our business how a mother chooses to feed her child, often breastfeeding a infant in public is done gracefully by a mothers choice, we should be encouraging her – not creating a situation of a shame game. the detactors out there are being petty. Its the blame game, well shame on you Facebook, shame on anyone who has the termerity to glare at or tell off a lady breastfeeding – mind your own business. Personally I don’t like strippers of any discription or porn but I don’t stop people who do like it. So general public – mind your own business and butt out of a special, relationship mum’s are building and working by breastfeeding a child, wheather its public or not . I also fully support mums who bottle feed their infants – we all love our kids and want the best for them!
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Betty February 23, 2012
I would like to share my breastfeeding creations. Please look at my new luxurious “Breastfeeding With Love Cover Ups” designer line. They allow you to nurse in public modestly and with ease. – http://bit.ly/wmm76j
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Joeseph March 11, 2012
I take a poop like many people generations before me… and that’s normal… You don’t see me doing that in public do you? lol
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sue bell July 30, 2012
Years ago I went to the National Gallery of Victoria with my baby. I was sitting in a room in the gallery, just me and my baby, no body else was around.
I was surrounded by paintings of many nude women. My child needed feeding. I commenced breast feeding when a guard came in and insisted I stop immediately and go into a storage room to feed her. So paintings of naked women are ok but breast feeding in public whilst all alone is not. Please explain.
