• ro, the slight is not that Tim might be gay, the slight is that their relationship is fake. - Jeannie
  • Lucille, further to my previous comment, you don't seem to grasp what the vileness is about this issue. I don't doubt your intelligence (in fact, you seem quite articulate), I just think you are looking at this through the wrong prism. The PM did not at any point say that gay people were vile, she said the question and the rumours were vile. Put yourself in the situation. This question implies any and all of the following: - your partner is with you because it is convenient, not because they are attracted to you/love you - you are silly/a bad judge of character if you don't know - you are dishonest/foolish for staying in such a relationship if you do know - you must be kinky and/or weird - you must have low self esteem - you are incapable of attracting a 'real' man - you are living a lie. If you were asked if your partner was gay (or straight, if you are gay) I think you might be a tad upset. I say this from a position of experience, because I do get asked this (and have been asked all of bullet points and more), and I find it as offensive each and every time. I don't 'laugh it off' like a dignified woman would, because I think such a question is rude, intrusive and NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. - Jeannie
  • "Question Time – the forum where the Opposition gets to ask the Government policy questions" - you forgot to add the remainder of this sentence - "and the Government ignores, preferring to use the opportunity to attack the opposition." Question time is a joke and a waste of time, and the Headmistress is doing herself no favours in the eyes of the discerning public with her deflected answers. Roll on September 14! - devuman
  • Lucille, have you really thought this through? It's not vile to imply to a woman in public that she is a man's beard? It's not vile to imply to a woman in public that her partner is being unfaithful (because if he's gay, he's obviously not getting his jollies at home)? It's not vile to imply to a woman in public that her marriage relationship is somehow not valid? It's not vile to ask intrusive and irrelevant questions of a public figure about the private life of a member of her family' (*not* on her own private life, which Sattler claims he had permission to do)? If this happened to you, about your partner, you wouldn't find this totally inappropriate? If a stranger asked you these questions, even privately, would you not be offended? Wow, Lucille, wow. - Jeannie
  • [...] Gillard: The Leader We Had to Have [...] - THE HONEST BROKER
  • [...] How To Leave a Marriage [...] - HOW TO LEAVE A MARRIAGE - PART 2
  • "Personally I’m in doubt that it’s of a high degree" oops...correction: NO doubt - Tony W
  • Pet hate is dining out on a winter's night dressed in an overcoat! Restaurants in SE Qld please note- it is ok to close doors and install heating to be used during winter. Our beautiful sunny winter days here on the Sunshine Coast are accompanied by single degree temps at night. More people might venture out at night for a meal if they were assured of some warmth while dining. NQR to sit eating in your scarf and coat, even if they are cashmere :-) - Pea
  • @ Jo: "I’m thinking the MRA do more harm than good in the long run." Yes, I suspect you're right in some ways Jo. They have a legitimate agenda with commendable aims, mostly surrounding fathers' rights - stuff like custody laws and visiting rights and police protection for children in the custody of neglectful mothers and their oftentimes abusive partners. I'm sure that must be an awful situation for the father to be in, and the law in this area is heavily weighted against them. It's very easy for a woman to falsely claim harassment and get a restraining order, and the father is then powerless to protect his children against abuse. Unfortunately though it's exactly the kind of movement you'd expect to attract misogynists - blokes who've been screwed over by "unfaithful" women, or at least see themselves as having been, and then been screwed over by the courts in respect of divorce settlements and custody arrangements. They're very angry people and some of them have a right to be, and I can imagine them getting together and comparing stories and bitching about women in general. I've heard this shit all my life from mates who've been through marriage bust ups and are consumed with bitterness, and I've worked in lots of all-male environments and had to put up with it too. Bluecollars are the worst, you wouldn't believe the shit that gets spoken in fibro lunchrooms plastered with Playboy pinups, it would curl your hair! Anyway I'm sure that's where a lot of these trolls come from, and clearly they're impersonating women sometimes. That's why Sandy lost it when she thought she'd been had, it's kinda funny when you think about! There's also another subgroup of trolls who present as Christians but who I wouldn't mind betting are divorced blokes who've done it tough for a while and then "found Jesus" and got their lives back on track. Churches are good support for blokes who've lost their way in life a bit and that's a good thing, but they can't always cure them of their resentment towards women and I suspect in the wee hours of the morn they visit Hoopla sometimes to vent a bit! Strange as it may seem I reckon there's a lot of common ground between feminist and MRA movements, the intentions are good on both sides and neither movement is born out of malice. Like everything there are two sides to the story and it never pays to ignore one side completely. In your case you've actually seen both sides of the DV story, that's very unusual I would imagine. Personally I've come to the conclusion it has very little to do with gender, the syndrome is identical for men and women, it's just the tactics that vary. For example women use weapons more often, as you'd expect given their lesser physical strength. - Tony W
  • 'No point blaming the press,- Murdoch’s or any other. ' I'm not so sure, MM. The press (including Murdoch press) turned against Howard - suddenly he's not prime minister any more. Then it turned against Rudd, and suddenly he's not prime minister any more. See a pattern there? Murdoch press has a long history of pushing public opinion (rather than reporting facts), and the fact that it represents more than 70% of Australia's print media only makes its influence stronger. The success of advertising - and I submit that opinion pieces masquerading as news stories, which is what most of the political 'news' in Australia consists of, are advertising - is well known and documented, and why would corporations bother if it didn't work anyway? If 70% of the advertising you saw was for McDonald's, do you seriously think you wouldn't eat many more meals there? - Jeannie
 
48
Categories:  News and Opinion

THE XXX OLYMPIAD OF PERVING

By Helen Razer
August 7, 2012

The modern Olympic spirit upholds several ancient traditions.

These include the pursuit of excellence, respect for one’s fellows and, importantly, perving at very hot blokes.

On Helen’s hot list… every man who ever played water polo. In this case, the Hungarian team.

We’re failing terribly on this last count compared to the Greeks of antiquity. For the sake of continuing history, something needs to be done.

Back in 700 BC, poets and sculptors paid tribute to the physical merits of beautiful men who endured great hardship in the pursuit of the Games. These days, we have not only lost our taste for poetry but we shy away from appreciation of the athletic body. Apparently “objectification” has become a sin.

Well, it’s bloody not.

Whether it is of men or of women, objectification is not in itself an unwholesome act. 

It’s entirely possible to take delight in another human’s physical charms without cruelty or damage to the species.

With this classical tradition of polite drooling in mind, we put the XXX back into the XXX Olympiad and offer the five best of all man candy. Feel free to add your own slavering lust.

5. Every Man Who Ever Played Water Polo Ever (but especially Greece)

Members of the Greek water polo team.

Whether it’s the silly hat, the microscopic costume or the mystery of a game that seems to involve nothing but thrashing about like a libidinous dolphin, water polo is an unending delight.

For those of us who like a little more realism in their fantasy, the slight paunch of these amphibians is also quite helpful. As a pragmatist, I just can’t imagine a scenario where a sculpted James Magnussen says to me, “Helen, I am going to take you roughly.” When I look at the unkempt, slightly older men of water polo, however, I feel I am in with a chance.

Also. Thank you to the technology that offers us “bum cam” throughout these fascinating games.

Enjoy the medal round of men’s water polo on August 12.

 4. Teddy Riner

When I learned that this French judo champion was born at roughly the same time as my best mate’s son, I felt I should probably be placed in custody.  Surely, though, the fact of his relatively recent 1989 birth is somewhat diminished by other statistics.

The impossibly buff 23-year-old guy is 2.04 metres, or 6’ 8”, tall and weighs 128 kilograms or 280 pounds in the old money.  Also, he grunts in French. The heavyweight judoko, also known as “Teddy Bear”, hulk-smashed the competition this past weekend to produce both Olympic gold and our renewed fascination for full-body contact sports.

Sadly, the judo is done. In happy news for any fan of frankly homo-erotic tumbling, the Greco-Roman wrestling has just begun. And, see our own entirely edible Safwan Khalil later this week in the taekwondo.

 3. Juan Martin Del Potro

Tennis as it appears in the Olympiad often lacks the unchecked passion of a Grand Slam.  Not so this past weekend as the hotsy-totsy Argentine played Federer in the semis last Friday in a match that lasted four-and-a-half very manly hours.

As if this 24-year-old’s impossible good looks were not sufficient to send a girl sliding off the sofa, there was a moment between young Del Porto and the great Swiss master fit to slay us utterly.

When the guy – who looks rather like a cross between James Franco and sunshine – was beat, he buried his head in Federer’s shoulder and sobbed.  He may have won Olympic bronze but my ovaries offer him eternal gold.

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48 Responses to this article

  1. Carz August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    At the risk of being a spoil-sport, but isn’t this article just a tad hypocritical? I mean, we complain about the objectification of women, the problem of distorted body image among our girls and young women, and (as evidenced by another of today’s articles) the long term damage that obsession with weight can cause, yet you are happy to highlight pictures of “hot” male Olympians and explain why they are hot.

     
    • Wendy Harmer August 7, 2012 Reply
       
       

      Nup… not hypocritical at all. The Olypmics show the body at its pinnacle of physical perfection – if we’ve lost the appreciation of that? We have lost the plot, I reckon. I for one am objectifying my heart out at the male divers and a good many of the synchronised swimming girls with their oh-so-perfect legs! And roll on the Paraylmpics ( Louis Sauvage is writing for us on that) and we will admire not only their physical prowess but hotness too! ( and BTW, Olympians are obssessed with their weight too… difference is they require their bodies to perform at peak, not just stand around on a red carpet and pose like scrawny chooks. Something to show the kids, I reckon.)

       
      • Carz August 7, 2012 Reply
         
         

        I’d agree if the piece concentrated on the actual physicality of the athletes rather than their ‘hotness’. On the upside, at least you didn’t publish photos of male athletes with erections like a very popular feminist online blog site did.

         
        • Wendy Harmer August 7, 2012 Reply
           
           

          Have to disagree again, Carz, sorry. The fact that they are at the Olympics means that their physicality is superlative. That’s a given, surely. As Helen says: “It’s entirely possible to take delight in another human’s physical charms without cruelty or damage to the species.” Hear,Hear.( And you’d have to agree that Helen’s choice of Olympic cuties is not conventional.)

           
          • Carz August 7, 2012
             
             

            @Wendy, I guess we will just have to agree to disagree.

             
    • moiby August 7, 2012 Reply
       
       

      I agree with you, Carz.

       
  2. Cate Pearce August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Putting aside whether or not we are objectifying anybody, might I add another to this perhaps unconventional list (as none of the above caught my eye at all). Oscar Pistorius. (aka Blade Runner)
    He had me oohing and ahhing and my daughter wanting to move to South Africa…

     
    • The Huntress August 7, 2012 Reply
       
       

      Yep, I saw a pic of The Blade Runner the other day and briefly fell in love…*sigh*

       
  3. Kirrilee August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I think Helen missed “The Upper Body of a Rower” in her list…

     
  4. Alli August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Helen, you also missed a certain Swedish track and field athlete. Honestly, I have NO idea what even he competes in, and frankly, I don’t care. If you head to http://www.facebook.com/alliandgenine and scroll down to one of yesterday’s post, you will find the shot and quickly discover that there’s something a little strange going on ‘down there’. Some funny comments from our likers, but the end result that no one gave a rats as he was so mighty fine in all other departments! Handsome, athletic, goal driven – three very nice attributes in a man. AND I know the blokes have the same opinions about the fit bodies of the women … it is the Olympics, after all. If we can’t admire fit bodies now, when can we? Funny post. And clearly you have a thing for Greek men…. Alli

     
  5. Helen Razer August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Hi Carz. No. I am not personally being hypocritical as I have never personally written that objectification is a bad thing. I genuinely do not believe that, per se, the appreciation of another physical form is intrinsically evil. In fact, I’d get pretty cranky if someone wanted to have sex with me *without* objectifying me. Pretending that objectification is not a condition of being a sighted human is a little like pretending that oxygen is an optional extra. Also, I covered this in the piece.

     
    • Carz August 7, 2012 Reply
       
       

      Hi Helen,
      I think you and I must be using very different dictionaries when we looked up the definition of objectify. The one I use (The Macquarie Conscise to be specific) defines Objectify as “to present as an object” My understanding of that is to see people as objects rather than as people; to depersonalise them into inanimate things to be used. I don’t know about you but I find that a rather disgusting way to view any person, and I most certainly wouldn’t want to be seen like that by anybody who wanted to have sex with me.

      I would love to know where you get your definition of objectification from.

       
  6. janice August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    In Ancient Greece poetry and sport was the commentary of the period

    Pindars poem will be recited in Ancient Greek in London very soon to celebrate the success of the games

    Thats really sexy along with the Greek Polo team

    Bliss!

     
  7. Helen Razer August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Hey C. I suspect that your Macquarie does not go on to suggest that objectification necessarily occurs at the expense of all other responses.
    The act of objectification per se – the apprehension of a physical body in the terms of its its physical attractiveness – is not a harmful activity. It is not, in itself, an activity that occurs to the exclusion of all other responses.
    If objectification occurred on its own – just as if “seeing only the precious inner me” occurred on its own – then we’d have a problem.
    Personally, I do not see any problem in appreciation of the male or female form; most particularly when it has achieved that form in pursuit of a particular physical goal.
    To pre-empt a criticism that usually follows “all objectification is bad” (again, not it is not), the apprehension of what one considers beautiful is not inherently evil. Personally, in striving to reflect my own (some would say peculiar) idea of what male beauty is here, I am just trying to suggest that beauty (and objectification) is very much in the eye of the beholder.

     
    • Carz August 7, 2012 Reply
       
       

      Hey Helen, I believe that you are confusing admire with objectify. The two are very different. You can admire a person and remember that they are exactly that, a person. However to objectify them means, quite literally, that you see them as an object, not as a person. I know more than a little what it is like to be on the receiving end of that. While I am happy to agree to disagree with you I would also like to offer you the opportunity to read my response, which I have just put in my blog (Its a bit long-winded to put here).
      http://thingsiwanttosay-carz.blogspot.com.au/2012/08/on-being-objectified.html

      Cheers.

       
  8. janice August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Great riposte Helen!
    ;)

     
  9. Helen Razer August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    With unfeigned respect, Cars, you’re wrong. The implicit “evil” of objectification in itself was rejected by most feminist scholars some twenty years ago. Seeing the body as an object is not, for the nth time, a bad thing.
    Further, I am disinclined to read a treatise that begins “WTF Seriously” as yours seems to do. Unless you are fourteen in which case you may be excused.
    While I understand that you have a great deal of energy invested in the term “objectification”, i believe a little further reading will help you see that its definition does not have the ineluctably terrible consequences to which you have ascribed it.
    Again. The apprehension of a body as an object does not necessarily end in evil. While it is true that this act, if taken to its logical extreme, may end in misfortune, it is also true that a complete lack of objectification may give us similar woe. If someone wanted to appreciate my insides, I;d be cranky. Especially as I have such awesome tits.

     
  10. Roger August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    As written by a male, here are some of the key points from the above article:

    Whether it is of men or of women, objectification is not in itself an unwholesome act.”

    For those of us who like a little more realism in their fantasy, the slight curve of these amphibians is also quite helpful.

    As a pragmatist, I just can’t imagine a scenario where a sculpted Stephanie Rice says to me, “I am going to take you roughly.”

    When I learned that this Danish Hockey champion was born at roughly the same time as my best mate’s daughter, I felt I should probably be placed in custody.

    She (Maria Sharapova) may have won Olympic silver but my semen offers her eternal gold. Tennis as it appears in the Olympiad often lacks the unchecked passion of a Grand Slam.  Not so this past weekend as the hotsy-totsy Russian played Serena Williams…

    Sadly, the judo is done. In happy news for any fan of frankly sappho-erotic tumbling, the women’s taekwondo has just begun. And, see our own entirely edible Carmen Morton later this week in the taekwondo

    …..for those of us who fancy petite lasses, this race is a saga of sex. Second, it is always a United Nations of hotness with most nations represented.

    Also. Thank you to the technology that offers us “skirt/tit cam” throughout these fascinating games.

     
  11. Helen Razer August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    If you’re trying to make some sort of feminist-hypocrisy point, it might help if you were as funny as me, Roger. Or, could come up with your own material.

     
  12. Carz August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    @ Helen, you choose not to read what I wrote on the grounds I used the term “WTF seriously” in it, fine. But I don’t remember claiming it was high literature. Besides I am used to being attacked because what I write disturbs some people. While my concerns with your use of the word objectify may seem like nit picking to you I find your insistence that it is synonymous with appreciating or admiring completely baffling. Many modern feminist scholars, particularly those in the field of violence against women still regularly bemoan objectification of women and the damage it causes.

    We will have to agree to disagree because I believe that neither of us are prepared to change our opinions on the use and meaning of the word objectify.

     
  13. Alex August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    The Olympic fortnight is glimpse of what the world looks like for a heterosexual man. It is wallpapered with improbably good-looking women. We should enjoy this two week festival of implausibly well-built men with little clothing on because after its over we’ll be back living in a world that pretends that women are only interested in men’s personality.

     
  14. Kris August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Helen – I’m with you on this one. Who doesn’t like a bit of eye-candy now & then?? Those water polo players are seriously noice to look at! The male gymnasts aren’t bad either!! :)

     
  15. Matt August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    @Helen Razer I loved it. Genuinely funny stuff and well done.
    Of course I fully expected the over the top PC arguments on this website. Seriously everyone lighten up and have a laugh……..and for the men on here do yourselves a favour and tune into women’s hockey….just sayin!

     
  16. Helen Razer August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Thanks guys. Honestly, I was hoping for a little less Feminism 101 and a little more Tune In Tonight for Men in Tights.
    x

     
  17. Clare August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    This leaves me feeling uncomfortable. I would be upset to see a piece like this written about the female athletes by a man.

     
  18. RobynMarie August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Carz, please! At the risk of sounding all old school, you need to back off – waay off. I mean really – did I fall onto the feminist page that no one reads cause they are all a bit you know…man hating and weird? Helen I agree totally! Olympics is and has alwys been free looky at either sex. The more things change the more they stay the same

     
  19. Louisa August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I feel uncomfortable about this too and some of the snarky responses to Carz. The Hoopla seems to be against the sexual objectification of women yet this piece sexually objectified male athletes through Helen referring to her ovaries etc. Not to mention her ‘awesome tits’ (did she need to?). I can see it is meant to be light-hearted and really I just wanted to support Carz’s right to make a respectful comment without getting graceless replies from the author.

     
    • Carz August 7, 2012 Reply
       
       

      Thanks Louisa.

       
  20. Rusty R August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Ladies please, are we still in high school? Yes these beautiful athletes, male and female look good. So, possibly, would we if we were as young as them again and trained as incredibly hard as they do. Unfortunately, l for one, am not. To add insult to injury my number 3 son is the same age as the French judo champion. So l will look at these young things as a parent and not as a cougar.

     
  21. Wendy Harmer August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I still reckon the divers look hot! And cougar? I’m old enough to be a woolly mammoth.When I stop looking, whack me btw two sheets of shale and fossilise me.

     
  22. Helen Razer August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    My tits ARE awesome, though.

     
  23. Kate August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I consider it my god given right to every four years have a good perve! Love this post Helen! Some people need to not take life too seriously! Thanks for bringing a smile to my face today!

     
  24. Helen Razer August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Stop oppressing me, Kate ;-)

     
  25. Tess August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    There is far more objectification of women than men going on on C9 – just look at all the coverage of women’s beach volleyball and gymnastics!
    I only wish the men were wearing as little as the women do in the Olympics, to even up the perve-fest! Imagine how good it would be to watch the mens abs and chests as they run, in the same way a man can perve on the almost-nude females.

     
    • Matt August 7, 2012 Reply
       
       

      Tess you don’t watch the swimming or diving? Men in speedos, women in one piece swimmers.

       
  26. Helen Razer August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Tess! The men’s beach volleyball outfit is an OUTRAGE!

     
    • Cass August 7, 2012 Reply
       
       

      Men’s beach volleyball – Agreed. An absolute outrage. I don’t need to see them playing in speedos, but I think they should, at the very least, be shirtless.

       
  27. kid August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Eastern European male gymnasts. All of them.

     
  28. Maria August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    The gymnasts… Did you see the Brazilian who won gold in the rings? Did you see the biceps?

     
  29. Tess August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I would barely call those tiny bits of material the women wear in the diving, swimmers! From the side they look naked.

    I’m willing to bet very few men felt the need to have brazilians to feel comfortable competing in their competition.

     
  30. Tess August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    But, sorry, Helen, this is losing the point of your great article.

     
  31. KaptainKaos August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    For those who haven’t noticed, our bodies are, actually, objects. That is an undisputed fact. And for those familiar with the mind-body problem, thousands of years of philosophical and scientific debate haven’t managed to clarify whether the mind can in any real way be regarded as separate or distinct from the body. Indeed, the modern viewpoint largely concurs that there is no such distinction. So, objectification is simply reality – or will, at least, save us from having to recap 5000 years of discussion every time we need to justify a quick happy healthy perve. Carry on Helen. I salute your slightly quirky tastes, and your awesome tits :)
    Ps What is wrong with this guy Roger who says he `can’t imagine a scenario where a sculpted Stephanie Rice says to me, “I am going to take you roughly.” ` I’ve tried that, it’s not difficult, and I don’t even like the girl. Does he have no imagination at all?

     
  32. Tania August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I admit that I took more than a passing interest in the men’s pommelhorse last night…what biceps!! I also took interest in the women’s high jump (pentathlon) the other night, they were rocking some serious ab’s which made me resolved to get back to my personal trainer (just as Sam Stosur did with her biceps at he Aus open).
    Seriously, is it such a bad thing to appreciate the (almost) perfect bodies of the world’s best athletes?

     
  33. Tess August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Ok, am watching the men’s diving right now. They are def wearing less than the women!

     
  34. Danny Dix August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    If they defaulted the olympic games outfits back to the original Athens norm, they would all be in the nick.
    At least the grandstands would be brimming full of cheering fans, all rooting for their favourites.

    *A light hearted comment, not intended to offend.

     
  35. Mumabulous August 8, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I’m with Helen. If we have to sit through three weeks of sport there should had least be some eye candy to ease the tedium.
    Here’s how I got my Olympic mojo back.
    http://mum-abulous.com/2012/08/07/getting-my-olympic-mojo-back/

     
  36. Ilsa Evans August 8, 2012 Reply
     
     

    While I have been thoroughly enjoying ALL facets of the Olympics, I found this article rather disturbing. Even more disturbing was the author’s reaction to those who disagreed. Questioning the maturity (or erudition?) of someone who happens to have a different opinion, and who expresses it quite respectfully, begs a ‘WTF Seriously?’ itself.

     
  37. Manuel August 8, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Hi Helen, great article! I don’t understand how people can find disturbing you saying that hot athletes are hot. Don’t they have a similar thought when they see them?

     

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  • Jeannie: ro, the slight is not that Tim might be gay, the slight is that their relationship is fake.

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