MRS WOOG & THE FASHIONISTAS. HUH?
I still have no real idea how I ended up backstage at Sydney Fashion Week, but I was mesmerised by every minute of it.
Mrs Woog (left) with her friends and fellow bloggers Eden Riley (centre) and Nikki Parkinson at Sydney Fashion Week.
It had nothing to do with the clothes.
Let me explain why the Fashion Folk completely stole the show when it came to my entertainment at this year’s premier National Celebration of the Cloth.
I have broken them down under a few categories.
The Regular Fashionista
These can be fashion editors and buyers. Typically they gather in threes, wearing small leather shorts and furry vests. Their long legs are encased in black patterned tights and their feet display their latest purchase, which can be worth up to the ticket price of a small Japanese car. Hair is worn long and tumbling. Watches are large and metal. Attitudes are air-kissy and you will be getting the once over from one of them at any given time. Even when you are in the bathroom and you run out of toilet paper and you have to pop your head out to see if anyone is there to hand you some more. Even then.
The Publicists
A messier, more harassed looking version of the Regular Fashionistas, these gals dash around the crowds pulling celebrities in front of a camera while pushing designers’ items into their hands and yelling “Take the photo, Delphius!!!”
They always look like they are on the verge of tears.
The Make-Up Artists
Funky princesses and cool dudes work hard to bring you the latest looks from the European Runways, which include glitzy stick on metallic eyebrows. Very practical for doing the grocery shopping, or indeed if you end up facing the judge in court due to a negligent driving incident caused by one of your fancy new eyebrows falling off and spearing you in your macular.
I got chatting to one makeup artist. I asked him why everyone seemed so stony faced. He shared with me his theory that the thinner you are, the sterner you must appear. I pointed out to him the fact that we were both very, very smiley, which made him smile even more.
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25 Responses to this article
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Annieb25 May 1, 2012
Yep. You totally nailed it Mrs Woog. You articulated my thoughts when I attend the Brisbane Fashion Week, but so much more funnier than I could every write.
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Seana Smith May 1, 2012
Thank you for your Woogs-eye view of Fashion Week, which I am not attending this year. Like every year! It was good of you to do your bit to cheer up proceedings. Was everyone very young? If so, maybe that’s why everything taken so seriously. We grow out of that, hooray!
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Bronwyn May 1, 2012
Love It! Thank you for your real world perspective on Fashion Week
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Nikki @ Styling You May 1, 2012
I got the death stare and “who are you?” backstage at ksubi last night … I think it was a blush-coloured jacket in a sea of black grunge … you think?
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Mrs Woog May 1, 2012
Lots of black! I think you get more confident with colour when you reach mid thirties and beyond.
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whisks May 1, 2012
hmmm…i’ll be there in a little while…i’m only going for the food…like i always do…
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bigwords May 1, 2012
Too funny
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Kelly Exeter May 1, 2012
PMSL Mrs Woog. I LOVE that you and Eden were there yesterday!
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Carolyn May 1, 2012
I wish I knew who the designer with the iron was.
In my mind it’s Alex Perry and his mouth is doing a total cat’s bum. -
Lisa Lintern May 1, 2012
For some strange reason I was invited to last year’s Fashion Week. I smiled lots, dripped mayonnaise from a mini-burger down my front and had a tussle with an Anna Wintour look-a-like over a good bag that it turned out I wasn’t entitled to. It provided great blog fodder…but for some reason I didn’t get an invite this year…
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The Huntress May 1, 2012
LOL “Why does being creative equal being a complete tosspot?”
Best line ever!
I admit I do enjoy fashion week. I love the clothes, the makeup, the hair. I love seeing what fabulous goodies I might be able to snatch up and wear and love. Though I also confess I hate the serious attitude behind it. Why can’t anyone smile? I’m trying to remember whose show it was about 2 seasons ago where they sent smiling, laughing, cheeky ladies down the catwalk and it was gorgeous! Of course it wouldn’t work for every show, but it wouldn’t kill them once in a while. Maybe the designer with the iron is frightened of being forced into ironing his models faces?
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Angelica Minx May 1, 2012
I know alllllll about the pretense of being a fashionista. I used to doll myself up 1950s style to go to all of the Angelica Minx relevant events (that I was invited to!) and I’d get comments like…you look fabulous, it must be so time consuming to look like that everyday. My quip to this…yes, darlink, it takes some effort.
Bull shit. Most days I can be found rockin it in yoga pants, uggs, daggy hippie tops, scarves and beanies. Nothing 1950s about that. I smack of country hippie mum 99% of the time. I’m a fake – and I like to play dress ups some times – WHILE I smile, with (bad) home manicures, be lumpy and wear flats.
You rock, Mrs W. Maybe your smiley self will have encouraged some of the stuck-up-their-own-bottom fakies to break through the Botox (saucer of milk at table two – hey, I’m pmssing!) and bless the world with a cheesy grin.
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Lauren May 1, 2012
I would be afraid to go. I would be the dumpling in the room. And I would be hungry.
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Melissa Hoyer May 1, 2012
LOVE it! xxxxxx
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Belinda May 1, 2012
They don’t smile because they are sooooooooooooooo hungry and sooooooooooooooo unhappy. Poor things. Someone pass them a donut!
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Jackwafabwa May 1, 2012
Just rock your best Blue Steel right back at those death stares and you’ll fit right in. Can’t wait to see photos of the crocheted merkins.
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Desire Empire May 1, 2012
It’s how the other half live darlink.
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Sarah May 1, 2012
love it, thank you Mrs Woog !
(note to self: get rid of the ballet flats)…
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Rebecca May 1, 2012
Hilarious post
I wanted to be stern, but you made me laugh too much! Cheers! -
Nareen Young May 1, 2012
I agree with the hungry thing. Think about it, how grumpy do you get when you’re dieting? These poor people have been grumpy for years. Anyway you’re all very good for going and mixing with the poor weird things and Mrs Woog, if you ever refer to yourself as lumpy again I will personally condemn you to a lifetime of fashion industry events. You look fabulously normal and fabulously fabulous to me.
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kim at allconsuming May 1, 2012
They’re hungry Mrs Woog! All of these people haven’t consumed a simple let alone complex carbohydrate since 2003 or puberty. It’s basically a large cohort case study of food cranky.
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Lady Jewels Diva May 2, 2012
They all sound like a bunch of hungry anorexic, unhappy, self obsessed tosspots who need a damn good kicking!
