MRS WOOG’S AMERICAN ADVENTURE
I have just returned from two weeks in New York City. The Big Apple. The city that never sleeps. The Capital of the World. The city so nice they named it twice!
It was my third visit there, and every time I return home not only am I stupidly exhausted, but with plenty of things to think about. I would like to share with you my thoughts on Americans.
Bravado.
Americans are stuffed full of bravado. They love winners and those who can achieve. Unlike Australians, who are only really allowed to achieve so much before they are publicly beaten back down into submission. The Olympic spirit was alive in bars all over Manhattan and they were only watching events that featured Americans. Americans winning, more specifically.
I met a lot of Americans who talked themselves up, big time. I was not used to this, as we are expected to be humble in our achievements. It was refreshing and infectious. They indeed take the Gold Medal in confidence. WORK IT, GIRLFRIEND!
Bacon.
My most favourite of all pork products, in this great city it is not just confined to the breakfast menu.
No, ma’am! You can find it in ice-cream, cookies and even cupcakes. But my favourite find was a Bacon Martini, which I just could not bring myself to order. Which was strange, as it combined two of my favourite products in one glass.
Americans LOVE their bacon and consume 1.7 billion pounds of it every year. Even more, if you take the last few weeks into account… What??? I was doing my bit for the pork industry!
They say Bacon is enjoying a resurgence right now, but really, did it ever go away?
Shorts.
Did you know that you did not have to be a size 8 to wear short shorts in America? That is right. Size does not matter when it comes to dressing for a hot New York City day. The tourist uniform seemed to consist of crotch-hugging denim shorts, an I Heart NY t-shirt, trainers and socks and a I Heart NY cap. Oh, plus a bum bag that you clutch onto for dear life lest ye be rolled by a gang member… in Times Square, an area that has more police present than the entire town of Goulburn. In America, they call them Fanny Packs, which made me giggle every time I heard some short-wearing tourist from Texas yell “Dwayne, can you grab my fanny pack?”
Being fat in America is just a matter of fact and even companies like Levi are catering to this market. When I saw a rack of really, really wide jeans that I thought were made for dwarves, it took me a while to realise I was in the Little Miss Plus Sized department.
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23 Responses to this article
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Carolyn August 8, 2012
You forget to mention bad coffee. NY can do it in some places but try finding a decent cup in Nashville.
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Lisa August 8, 2012
You just summarised it perfectly. And I thought it was just me who was deeply suspicious of the cheese.
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Anon August 8, 2012
Got to say Mrs Woog, that I agree the Americans have amazing service. However, the reason you get such great service, at least in the food industry, is because they are paid a minimum wage of $7.00 an hour and have to make the rest by tips. Not sure how that works in retail. Actually, according to their department of labour stats, your employer can pay you, if you work in a profession that relies on tips, as little as $2.00 per hour, as long as your total income, including tips, totals at least $7.00 per hour.
I personally, would rather have shitty service by moody uni students in Australia, knowing they have a mimimum wage of about $15.00 an hour and they have a whole raft of statutory entitlements like annual and sick leave (unless casual of course).
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Bronte Girl August 8, 2012
Agreed Anon. I travel to the US three times a year and agree that all service related industries are minimum wage and heavily reliant on tipping. I too prefer the moody uni student who has the benefit of award wages and entitlements.
One thing Mrs Woog forgets to mention is the American obsession with never saying or using the word TOILET. It’s either the bathroom, restroom or little lady’s room!
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Debyl1 August 8, 2012
An American adventure described as only the wonderful Mrs Woog could do.Loved reading every word.You never fail to put a smile on my face and brighten my day.xx
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Sarah August 8, 2012
I LOVED this. Maybe someday I’ll make it to Australia and do the yang to your yin. Much love, Mrs Woog!
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MadamBipolar August 8, 2012
Did you get me some of those jeans?
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Lisa F August 8, 2012
Lycra!
……but that was the 90′s……
Great read xx -
foolio August 8, 2012
Re service, I would like to see people being paid properly AND giving good service. I think the service in Australia is generally terrible. (The service in NZ is fantastic by comparison, and it’s not because of tipping). I was in New York in (our) autumn and I actually found the service mostly (though of course not always) more ‘genuine’ than in two previous visits that were some years apart.
I wonder whether 9/11, the GFC, and warmer role models such as Michelle Obama have made ordinary Americans more aware of the need to be nice to each other? Would be nice to think so… -
Amacamchumps Sarah August 8, 2012
Little Miss Plus Sized department – wonder how long before that comes to Australia?
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Josie August 8, 2012
I live in NYC, and have to disagree with the service part. It might just be because i shop more at Burlington Coat Factory rather than Bloomingdales
;D
but I’ve found that being incredibly unfriendly and uncaring a requirement for anyone with “Customer Service” in their job title.
AND they want a tip for it. -
Sam W August 8, 2012
Mrs. Woog, you are a wonder! I read your posts with relish (pardon the pun), always highly entertaining. Gotta agree with you too about the radioactive orange sqauares the Americans call cheese – I’m sure those things glow in the dark….
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bigwords August 8, 2012
Hilarious. Cheese = bad. NYC = AMAZING. x
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Char August 8, 2012
Agree with all that but also Anon, retail and service industries in general are poorly paid. I had terrible service in Macys in NYC every time I went there, it was like the people were asleep. I disagree with you on Myer. My local, anyway. I’ve had absolutely brilliant service there, especially in fashion. One Myer sales assistant, who had served me twice before but remembered me, was shopping there with her daughters on a Thurs night, dropped her kids in a change room and helped me with my dress selection. She chose a gorgeous dress that I would never have picked up. I had 4 women helping me that night, and after thinking I’d never find anything that would fit me and look good, I ended up with a frock fit for a late 40′s princess. V happy with my Myer and proud to say so.
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Rachel @ The Kids Are All Right August 8, 2012
Love that the American salad comes with layers of cream and, yep, bacon.
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Fifi August 8, 2012
Mrs Woog, I totally agree with you on the lack of service at Myer, particularly the Sydney Pitt St store.
Sometimes I wonder if anyone does actually work there. There is never anyone at the Pay points and good luck if you want to try on a pair of shoes! -
Jules August 8, 2012
NYC – Street Food!
The spirit of competition in the US and to be competitive is not seen as a bad thing – it drives innovation and change.
Portion size – ask for a small salad and expect to be served enough to feed a family of 5. If you ask for a corn beef sandwich expect a side of beef to be inserted between 2 slices of bread.
Choice – sometimes the amount of choice is overwhelming, but then again it is a very consumer driven economy.
I love NY, but I wouldn’t want to live there! -
Linda August 8, 2012
I was so well looked after in the Macys store I thought they were my new best friends- I suspect there are some commission based salary arrangements in place.
Liquid cheese, orange cheese, cheese with fries all revolting, however, the city also has some guidelines in place with lots of places identifying not only calorie but also fat contents on menus and menu boards and lots of healthy eating options too which was great but portion sizes in many places we’re still huge! Especially the “soda” serving sizes at the ice hockey and other events they were more likesmall wading pools than drink containers, which may explain the little miss plus range. -
RobynMarie August 8, 2012
Let me just say I love New York. But try asking for a black coffee. Or a white coffee. I thought I was about to start a race riot. WTF? No one tells you it’s just coffee, and you sort the rest out yourself mmm. And where exactly do you tip? Macy’s service was mind blowing but no tip. Coffee shops – rude, attitude, and where is my tip. I ate on the street and gave the tip to the homeless. But I do love New York and can’t wait to go back!
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Loz August 8, 2012
Cheese in a can. Enough said.
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Amy August 9, 2012
Mrs Woog. I love you. Simply. You make me laugh. Lots. Thank you. Amy x
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Maureen August 13, 2012
Brilliant article!! You are SO right about the cheese- there is nothing dairy about it!!and now I know I can wear my shorts with confidence when I next visit America!
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Mel August 13, 2012
Great article.
I always found it kinda catchy when you thank someone for their service in the US and their response is “ah ha”. Im not overly sure what it means but it sounds friendly enough.
However, i must say one negative about visiting the US and that is their customs. And Im not just talking about the LONG wait to reach the clearance area. The customs people frighten me- I always feel like a naughty girl and have to think twice about whether or not I did actually “pack my own bag or leave it unattended”. Once I am cleared I find myself over thanking the mean looking man who has just allowed me into HIS country where I will spend my life savings to help boost HIS economy. Something wrong about that.
