• Last week, when the criminal record of Meagher's killer was made public, everyone seemed amazed person like him could be out of prison. While I was disgusted he was free, I wasn't surprised and it's because of attitudes like the ones Tracey describes. As a society we place blame on the victims of sexual assault, and therefore mitigate the responsibility of the attacker. There is some underlying idea that men are unable (or unwilling) to control themselves, which is rather insulting to the vast majority of men who do act decently. As I was buying my morning coffee today I was scanning the front of the paper and read the story of Milne's arrest for rape. The barista noticed and I said it was interesting the arrest had happened so long after the crime. The barista asked what did the girl expect, going back to some guy's hotel room. You hear stuff like this whenever these topics come up. Having no desire to start a fight with a virtual stranger I just replied that I had had people I didn't really know sleep at my house in the past and not once did I find it necessary to rape them. I will be buying my coffee elsewhere in the future. - kage
  • Thank you Germaine for the article. I do not need to be persuaded to vote for the PM and not just because she is a woman, but because she is a leader, a leader under extremely difficult and distressing circumstances; a leader with vision; sometimes having to compromise and take a smaller step forward than envisaged, however, any step forward in policy and reform is a step in the right direction. I try to use my voice against shock jocks on stations I despise, just to get up their noses, and get totally put down and ridiculed when objecting to their tactics, BUT Germaine YOU have a voice and a voice to be listened to. Please use YOUR VOICE as well as your writing skills to spread this message. - Vickie
  • Sometimes I just want to give up and call everyone who does not get how wrong such assaults are pigs. - ro.watson
  • Given that i wish to see the continuation of carbon pricing and allied green policies, the roll out of the (real) NBN, the funding of the NDIS and the Gonski education reforms, i have no hesitation in voting Labor on September 14th. I will be extremely happy to see PM Gillard retain her position. - sally b
  • Show me your policies Tony Abbott. I judge Gillard on her strengths already, not as some putative enduring barricade against the shock jocks here or there, Germaine. - ro.watson
  • This is so much like my own story. I have so much trouble getting people to understand, even 6 years after separation that he will always be the father of my kids, that he is deserving of respect, even if he has not been the best husband, that I cannot live with him, I do not feel romantic any more but I want him to be the best person he can be because my kids love him and he is their hero, no matter what I say. And I worry so much about the kids and I hope they don't grow up without the skills for a beautiful relationship. So I hope all goes well. I look forward to seeing how you manage. - Bron
  • But to vote for someone just because they are a woman is as flawed as voting for someone just because they are a man. The key point in Germaine's article for me was that we need to start focusing on policies and not personalities. - Pea
  • The best way to defeat this disgusting attack on Julia Gillard is to support her re-election. If she were to succeed in being re-elected it would send a powerful message to her bigoted detractors. Would certainly put a lot of twisted bitter people back in their proper place. - JohnB
  • I'm a big fan of classical music and rap, maybe it's because i'm from the ipod generation but i don't see why it has to be one or the other. I totally understand not liking rap, but that doesn't mean it has no value. Maybe it's unfair to specifically target Mandy's article, because this is one of many articles reinforce a myopic view of misogyny in music by specifically using rap as an example when it is in all genres, but i felt the readership of the hoopla is intelligent and considered enough to consider my point, which is the double standard when it comes to criticism of misogyny in music. Rap is a genre created by black people and has clear connotations towards it, and this article isn't without context. I realise it was unintentional but it reinforces negative stereotypes about rap, and by extentsion black culture. One doesn't have to mention race for it still to be relevant to the discussion. I am in complete agreement with her otherwise. Anyway I feel i've made my case and it's for others to judge whether i'm right or not. I don't want to continue this because i don't want to diminish the point of this article, which is that we as a society don't take rape a tenth as seriously as we should. That i'm sure is something that you and i can agree on Tony. - Ash
  • Fight, flight or freeze Katie? I froze. I recommend self defence training even if it might complicate your life you know that block, run and scream for help. It did not help me asleep, but I had the moves automatically to resist unlawful use of force when grabbed from behind, notwithstanding what my girlfriend felt at the time.. - ro.watson
 
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11 Responses to this article

  1. Denise May 6, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Wendy, I too am concerned about the negative comments on our Prime MInister. .

    Tony Abbott and those other Australians who hold and support such attitudes make it incredibly difficult for those of us raising children. And up here in the NT we’ve another problem. Here there is much violence against women. The Aboriginal people to whom I’m related generally regard women as equals (in spirit if not in action). However, the misogynistic remarks made about Julia Gillard will just be one more nail in the coffin of a culture where it’s still considered an honour to be called ‘old lady’.

     
  2. bliss May 10, 2012 Reply
     
     

    as I get older feel wiser it is so
    enjoy life to the fullest gets better I know
    at ease in my body and say what I feel
    surprising how many of my dreams now come real

     
  3. Dawn May 13, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Hello Hoopla
    I’m so glad I found you! So nice to know there is a website I can relate to. Have recently turned 50 and feeling like an inbetweener, invisible to all and confused where I fit.
    Looking forward to exploring your website more.
    Thank you!!
    x

     
  4. Julie Nash May 16, 2012 Reply
     
     

    When I was ten years of age I was given a photo of a little black African girl with the biggest brown eyes. She found a home in my heart and she has lived there ever since.
    As a child I never had money for sweets or special treats in fact I often went to school without knickers on and I wore two pair of grey socks for most of my school life which had no heels in them. But whenever I did manage to pinch sixpence off the mantlepiece or was secretly given two bob for my birthday by my stern old grandfather I would always remember my little black friend and I gave my pittance to her.
    I would cry as I put my small donation into the envelope and ask God to make sure she wasn’t hungry.
    Thirty years later when my daughter turned eight year old she bought home a similar photo of a sad eyed black child and we placed it on the fridge door. Every day we would remember her struggling to survive along with her sister and brothers in their grass hut in the hot desert of an African village. Each week my precious daughter gave her pocket money to the small child that watched us walk around our cosy warm kitchen with the smells of homely cooking.
    Fifty years on I question the organisations that continue to use the worldwide plight of the ‘poor’ to raise their finances. Millions of dollars have been raised throughout the world in my life time yet the pain of hunger in the needy still exists .
    The abuse of women and children around the world continues to increase and their cries for protection are only slowly being heard and dealt with by the loyal band of caring people who remain faithful to the cause of a better world.
    While shopping in my local mall last week I shook my head
    when a young man tried to hand me an envelope with a black child’s face imprinted on it, Was it the same starving girl that I had sent my precious coins to so many years ago. He didn’t understand the welling of tears that came into my eyes.
    It wasn’t the fact that I have nothing left to give. Nor the fact that I refuse to believe their are those humans born into such inhumane circumstances the pain is too much to bear.

    It simply is that the face on the card of that little girl I took home from Sunday School all those years ago still lives in my heart today.
    She is the face of the many who still need our love and care. today.

     
  5. Marie May 19, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Hello Everyone,
    As I get older I continue to think that we can still live a successful life and be kind to others…..

     
  6. sam June 21, 2012 Reply
     
     

    my white hairs are either wisdom or old age.
    i drink whiskey to grow hairs on my chest.

     
  7. Suzy August 1, 2012 Reply
     
     

    When I was 21 I thought I was old, now that I’m 42, there is no way I would go back to being that age, because I have so much more inner confidence, wisdom, and more commonsense than I had back then………………..beauty is only skin deep, and anyone can learn to be beautiful, no matter what age………………..I am sick of stupid ads in magazines and on T.v which make young women fret about getting old…………….take it from me, things only get better, even if you do break your leg, like I did, I do’nt want to be someone I’m not………..being true to yourself is kind of like creating your own piece of art everyday, learning, growing, getting better, and a fricken wrinkle or two is a small price to pay for becomming a better person

     
  8. Belinda Ban September 23, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Read a quote once that really stuck.
    Be yourself because those that mind…don’t matter and those who matter…don’t mind.
    Self acceptance and walking to the beat of your own drum is one of life’s greatest feelings!

     
  9. Cheryl November 9, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I’m happily married to my husband for 21 years and we couldn’t be happier. In this time we have had 5 wonderful children and they have all taught me so much. Taught me how to be confident, creative, nurturing, loving, calm sometimes lol, but all children are different and come with their own personalities which I adore because it means, I can treat them all differently but love them the same amount. I don’t believe in having a favourite so I try my best to make a date with each one of them seperately just so I can catch up with them on things that they might love to share away from the home and to me personally. My childrens ages range from 5 to 20 and all 7 of us share a meal at the dinner table every night as a family. I treasure these moments. Some days it can be a challenge but I’m learning that no matter how hard I can be on myself it won’t change a thing. So, I look upon each day as though what ever doesn’t get done today will be there tomorrow waiting for me as long as my kids always come first.
    As each day or year has passed, I feel myself growing more wiser and I owe that to my loving family and my amazing husband. x

     
  10. Debbie O'Donnell November 11, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Being a single parent it’s extremely difficult to find a new partner. It’s like people just don’t want to know you as a loving human being.

     

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Comments

  • kage: Last week, when the criminal record of Meagher's killer was made public, everyone seemed amazed person like him could be...

  • Vickie: Thank you Germaine for the article. I do not need to be persuaded to vote for the PM and not just because she is a woma...

  • ro.watson: Sometimes I just want to give up and call everyone who does not get how wrong such assaults are pigs.

  • sally b: Given that i wish to see the continuation of carbon pricing and allied green policies, the roll out of the (real) NBN, t...

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