HE SAID, SHE SAID. SIZE MATTERS
Catharine and Duncan have been together 15 years and have two boys aged 10 and 12. This week they’re debating why whether size really matters…
HE SAID
You know what I can’t understand? If you type the following into Google: “Why do men like big…”, a range of very kind and helpful suggestions suddenly appears including women, breasts, eyes, girls and butts.
In response, all I can say is that Google must be run by a bunch of chicks, because the all-time, number one conclusion to that question must be the word: TVs.
Yes, nothing beats the pleasure for a man of relaxing like a modern-day decadent Roman Senator in front of a TV the size of most back-yard swimming pools, with a cold beer in hand and really any sporting event from anywhere in the world coming through in pure digital reception and crystal clear sound.
And perhaps the cherry on that particularly delicious ice cream is for a man to place within his sturdy grasp a shiny extra-long remote control. Some academic feminists, of course, will call this a banal phallic symbol. But we men know it is all that and more.
A good remote is also a man’s best friend. Reliable. Trustworthy. Always Takin’ Care of Business.
Truly, we often ask, why can’t a girlfriend be a bit more like a remote? That might be the subject of a future column…
So after all that it will come as no surprise to you that as my beloved Sydney Swans made the AFL Grand Final, I went out and bought a state of the art 46-inch Sony Bravia TV.
I even bought the aesthetically-pleasing silver stand that makes it look rather like a post-modern Scandinavian sculpture.
And I thought that would make it a nice surprise for my wife when it arrived one recent afternoon. Admittedly it was housed in a box that only just managed to fit inside the front door, but it now sits magnificently, regally in place, with sport, Top Gear, Spongebob and The Simpsons on high rotation.
And what happened next? The Swans won the Grand Final, that’s what.
But just to show I’m not a complete Neanderthal, I’m happy to allow Catharine the odd moment to watch Downton Abbey.
Just so long as I hold the remote.
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6 Responses to this article
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The Huntress October 17, 2012
Haha. This reminds me of when Mr. Huntress and I had only been married about 6 months. I was working night shifts in trauma and he had just quit his job in favour of having ‘some time off’. No issues there…
Until I came downstairs one evening to prepare dinner and get ready for my shift. There, gracing a large part of my lounge room, was a 55 inch Sony Bravia….replacing the old 45 inch TV. Because clearly 45 inches is not big enough. All I could bring myself to ask was “How long do you plan on being unemployed for?”
The funny thing is is that neither of us watch that much TV. I don’t at all unless I’m gaming. Same goes for Mr. Huntress, other than the odd sports game, episode of Good Game or Randling. My young lad is the one who gets the most out of it with early morning cartoons. I could happily live without a TV, but for boys size really does matter.
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Wrigbe October 17, 2012
When we were first married my husband looked down his nose at TV watching. He read economic and politics for fun! He didn’t have time for TV! Now I have quite bad eyesight and so do both our kids so about 5 years ago I suggested that since we had some spare cash could we consider buying a much larger TV as it would make it easier for me to see from the kitchen and kids wouldn’t be always trying to sit almost on top of it to see. He very graciously agreed.
Well now suddenly the TV and especially the remote apparently belongs to my husband. He gets very distressed if the remote is not in his hand and he gets to pick what we watch every night. Funnily enough I rarely watch anymore
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Super Sexy Man October 18, 2012
You’ll have your tv for many a long year Wendy … Manly wont make a grand final for a hundred years
