• What relentlessly distressing stories some of the respondents have to tell. Their problems don't sound like they're caused by lack of diagnosis or increased rates of prescription - rather show need for more community support, better training of social workers, police, journos etc. Just wonder how much contact Concerned and others have with parents in similar situations - and if there's some of way of putting you all in touch with each other - if you're interested? - miranda
  • It's OK Sue Bell , John Jay has obviously been " away " again . He craves attention , so if we just ignore him he will no doubt wander back to his " right wing hate sights " like Bolt & Ackerman et al. Meanwhile John Jay , suggest nice cuppa and a lay down . - Carole/m
  • Sly Place has just about said it all on Rudd's narcissism. I'd only add that he can't pretend to be naive about the effect his outbursts have had on Labor. And if it was a former staffer who changed Rudd's mind on gay marriage, pity he didn't listen when the bloke was actually employed in his office. - miranda
  • Does Australia have parent training resources? I've read that parent training is helpful in managing the behaviour. - Rhoda
  • I used to be the type who would sit on top of the heater; freeze to death in winter; and lived in (then) skivvies and jumpers. Then the big M set in!! Now I wander around the house barefoot. I own1 jumper and 1 thick cardigan. The only difference in what I wear to work is I have a raincoat and scarf for winter .... otherwise exactly the same clothes all year around. That's your "internal heater" working for you ... - Schoom
  • I love your rules,especially the one....treat others like you wish to be treated. That was big in our home as I was growing up and it is just as big in my home now. Along with everyday random acts of kindness....if we always live by these two rules then we can be sure to find a real inner happiness.x. - Debyl1
  • I hate no one. I am cruel to no one. I am a mere mortal who The Divine has chosen to speak to. The Divine needs no proof, He is above all human failings. Mock me, it does not hurt, i forgo all pride and sily human comforts. All can read "The Message" and accept it or not. I do not judge. I pass one what i am told. - John Jay
  • Well said Benison. - Sally
  • Dear John Jay, like you I also have had divine revelations, wonderful revelations on the need to love all human kind, on compassion and empathy. The Divine revealed to me that he/she has no interest whatsoever in who has sex with whom. Now let me make it very clear, you cannot prove these divine revelations that you claim you have, no more can I. All you can prove is your unrelenting hatred of anyone who does not subscribe to your very sick philosophies. So Hooplarians, come join me in the "Church of the Unbelievers of John Jay's Divine". Let us be free of his hatred and cruelty. - sue Bell
  • Hmmm, lets hope that John Jay fella doesn't get wind of this! - Will Marshall
 
Categories:  News and Opinion, Wellbeing

HE SAID. SHE SAID. WHO’S THE BOSS?

Catharine and Duncan have been together 15 years and have two boys aged 10 and 12. This week they discuss living with a procrastinator (guess who that is!).


Famous last words… “After all, tomorrow is another day.”

SHE SAID

My husband had his 40th birthday party when he turned 42. The slight delay in proceedings was due to the fact that he insisted on organising the event himself.

Granted we had our second child Sam three days after the original birthday. So a delay of two or three weeks made sense. But two years?

Welcome to Duncan’s wonderful parallel world in which time is entirely elastic.

In which “tomorrow” is a synonym for “next week”, “next month” and in certain fascinating cases “next millennium”.

Blinds need cleaning? One approach is to follow up on the message that’s been on the kitchen blackboard for two years and actually call the blind cleaner. But an equally effective approach is to simply wait for the blinds to rot and buy new ones. Problem solved.

Promise you’ll order the turkey for the big family Christmas your wife is doing all the cooking for? Obviously you’ll do your bit. Doesn’t mean you need to do it this Christmas. It comes around every year after all.

My husband will, of course, argue that I’m a control freak who is obsessed with divvying up household chores, ticking off to-do lists and planning every detail of our lives five years in advance.

He could also quite reasonably point out that if something is so important to me I should just do it myself.

But therein lies the wonderful trap of living with a procrastinator. When I do just that I’m committing the mortal sin of “Taking over as usual” or worse thinking “I’m the boss of everyone”.

Obviously I’m not “the boss of everyone”. I just have a superior sense of what needs doing, how it needs doing, why it needs doing and when it needs doing. I have no idea at all why my husband nods and smiles when I present him with my latest list – and then proceeds to ignore it.

HE SAID

The world can be easily divided into three sorts of people. Control freaks who try to organise their lives minute by minute; more easy-going folk who like to go with the flow and then there are people like me, who would go with the flow but find even that rather hard work.

We are those few, those happy few who love to procrastinate, who love to follow the sage advice of Mark Twain who said: Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after.

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7 Responses to this article

  1. liza July 12, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Time is relative !

     
  2. Ro. Watson July 12, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I enjoyed this article~I have an embroidered cushion “after all, tomorrow is another day”~ meanwhile I wonder if Clarke Gable really had bad breath. If so, was this due to being slack with his toothbrush?

     
  3. sami July 12, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I’ll comment properly on this later…

     
  4. Van Essa July 12, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I am a procrastinator and my husband is a finely tuned gotta have everything perfect sort of chap. We have managed to have a reasonably good relationship for 30 years now.

    But he doesn’t quiet understand my need to just go with the flow (afterall, we will all be dust one day and none of this really matters), he needs things done his way (which apparently is the perfect way to do things).

    It keeps us both on our toes.

     
  5. The Huntress July 12, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Haha. I’m a procrastinator and so is Mr. Huntress. It’s great, nothing ever gets done, neither of us care and we’re happy.

    But when the 2 of us throw ourselves into one task with enthusiasm we become a power couple. This only ever happens when we having a party and we take over the kitchen as a duo. So, that’s approximately once or twice a year LOL

     
  6. Royce July 12, 2012 Reply
     
     

    “Do it now” is my motto….
    Whenever it occurs to me that a job needs doing, I do it immediately!

    Sadly this means that the thing I was doing is put off while I run off to do the thing that has just occurred to me… and …. and……

    Then it occurs to me that I need to do something else. sigh…

     
  7. Jenny July 12, 2012 Reply
     
     

    My hubby has always been one to have everything organised way ahead of time, in order that HE won’t get stressed. Never mind that I am the one being stressed out of my mind by his nagging to be “half an hour ahead of time” instead of the way I prefer which is being on time so that I’m not cooling my heels for that half an hour! To me he is wasting my time with his need to indulge himself this way. Sounds a bit like Van Essa, and we’ve been married for 52 years.

     

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Comments

  • miranda: What relentlessly distressing stories some of the respondents have to tell. Their problems don't sound like they're caus...

  • Carole/m: It's OK Sue Bell , John Jay has obviously been " away " again . He craves attention , so if we just ignore him he will n...

  • miranda: Sly Place has just about said it all on Rudd's narcissism. I'd only add that he can't pretend to be naive about the effe...

  • Rhoda: Does Australia have parent training resources? I've read that parent training is helpful in managing the behaviour.

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