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BIANCA DYE: MY STATUS ANXIETY

Leaving social media cured my anxiety disorder… I am telling the truth.

(I wish I could make this my status update – but since I’m off Facebook, I can’t. And you know what? That’s a good thing! Read on…)

bianca

I found a really funny little comic strip thingy the other day that pretty much summed up my toxic on-again-off-again-doin’-ma-head-in relationship with social media. It read: “I think I am always on the internet because it fills my two requirements of getting attention yet also being alone.”

My Godfather! I read that and painfully thought: WOW! That is (was) me!

I loved the idea of talking to people but not really talking to people. I liked the idea of sharing, but I wasn’t really that interested in what others had to share. I liked the idea of being funny and witty and getting “liked” and laughed at, but put me in a room full of actual humans and, unless I was on stage making them laugh for a living, then I was usually the first to leave a function or hide in the corner being anti-social.

And isn’t that the big fat joke of social media?  

It isn’t bloody social at all.

Facebook depression is very real. The anxiety some of us feel by pressuring ourselves to keep up to date and share every morsel of crap that flies in our face – every opinion, every family snap, every pic where we look “hot” and we are pouting at a “cool” bar with “pretty” friends or “famous” people – it was making me sick!

I’m serious. It was making me unwell.

I was becoming addicted to the “idea” of updating my status, not actually doing it – my entire life became viewed through the eyes of an instagram filter. ( Which filter? Which filter? So many, too many to choose from.)

Everything I did and saw and heard went through my mind’s filter. How I could use that in my social media? And you know the worst thing? It wasn’t even intentional…it became a sick way of life for me.

Autopilot Update Anxiety you could call it.

bianca 3In the same way I would gather and sort sort information for content on our breakfast radio show I’d do it that for social media too. I would fantasize about a pending  status update and the carefully chosen picture long before it would come to fruition. Like a drug addict I would plot when and how I would make my next status update – my next “hit”. What wit would I impart. What tidbit of nonsense would I share . What “snapshot” into my private world would I allow my “friends” to see.

( Jesus. I’m cringing just writing this. What a wanker I must have seemed.)

Until one day I decide to just STOP.

And I did.
And the silence was deafening. It really, really was.
But now…
Nothing.
I am calm.
And I’m going to say it. I’m going put this out there and I can hear some of you – many of you in fact – tsk, tsking to yourselves. But I’ll say it.

It was the best thing I ever did.

You know why?

Because the Generalized Anxiety Disorder that I was diagnosed with over nine years ago now has gone. That’s why.

I’ll just let that sink in shall I? It’s gone. I am not on medication either – its just… gone.

I admit I do feel really uncomfortable suggesting that it has gone simply because I gave up every form of social media, but could it really be a coincidence that the same month I go off it – late November, 2012 -my panic attacks ceased? The tingly feeling I used to get in my arms and the feelings of being overwhelmed and stressed for no reason have pretty much disappeared.

My doctor can’t explain it and neither can people around me who say I seem calmer and less frazzled.  People come up to me in the street and congratulate me for getting off “that evil thing”. There is a backlash against this “thing” that I am seeing take over people’s lives.

Sure I took extreme action, but the same way those in AA must not touch a drop, I can’t go near social media at all. I can’t just jump online occasionally, dip my toe in to see whats going on.

It’s all or nothing – it’s in my nature.

The same drive that has taken to me to many great heights and achievments in my life and career is the same insatiable monster that can bring me down, so I feel it’s best to totally abstain. And it’s worked.

My life feels so much free-er. I once reached for my iPhone to take a picture of something “hilarious” I had just seen and I now I stop myself and just enjoy the moment – the sunset – the funny thing a kid in the supermarket just did. Whatever it may be, I simply stop and enjoy being there in the moment rather than  desperately uploading that “moment” to “share” with so may people – mostly strangers.

It almost seems weird to me now that I was ever that self obsessed & self indulgent.  Does anyone really care that much about what we are all doing? We are breeding a generation of kids that really think every move they make is upload-able. That cannot be healthy. It’s the OCD of over-sharing.

I am loving my new freedom and my newly-found calm. I don’t miss social media at all.

I look at those around me constantly scrolling Facebook and bitching and commenting on someone else’s “stuff” the way an ex smoker would look at someone sucking back hard on a dart and think: Thank God that isn’t me anymore”.

 

MORE STORIES BY BIANCA DYE

I’ve been lying to everyone

Faarrk! I forgot to have kids!

 

*Bianca Dye is a breakfast presenter on i98FM. She can be heard from 6 to 9 am throughout the Wollongong/Illawarra region in NSW.

 

 

 

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49 Comments

  • Reply March 18, 2013

    Sam Stone

    Great piece Bianca!
    I am an all or nothing type person too! So good for you for going cold turkey and being the better for it :)

  • Reply March 18, 2013

    Juanita

    I’m with you Bianca. I unfriended Facebook a year ago, and have no intention of ever being on Twitter. I don’t even turn the radio on in the car any more. Silence = clarity and peace. Best wishes to you.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    bigwords

    Makes a lot of sense. I’m so glad it’s helped you x

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Manion

    Love this article! I had a Facebook detox throughout January as my NY resolution. I made more effort with my real friends and didn’t feel the (somewhat ridiculous) need to share anything. Nothing whatsoever. It was wonderful and my mind, genuinely, was more clear… less polluted! I was also less annoyed/jealous/despondent. Go figure?! Unfortunately as I live the other side of the planet from my family and a great number of friends, it’s become a necessary evil :-/ I just spend a whole less time updating and have used the settings to reduce who and what appears in my newsfeed! Good on you Bianca for going cold turkey!

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    bianca dye

    listen i wont lie its been hard – but to be honest now im reminded of how life was before we became so obsessed with over sharing ..giving up is not for everyone & I have many friends who rely on it for work & catching up with family etc & to that I say ” awesome”… but it just wasnt/isnt that kind of experience for me – its a totally different ball game when you almost HAVE to use facebook for work stuff – its stops being “fun” & becomes a “must” & that is where it got unhealthy… bd x

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    liza

    I only use Facebook to put out scary details like the demise of the barrier Reef. Mining companies who think they are entitled to rule the world simply by being rich and powerful!
    I would miss that part which allows me to tell the world how much I care ,and yet allows me to lead a fairly balanced way of life.
    I am not interested in small details of people’s chatter when the conversation has to be had about where we want our lives to be as the oceans continue to rise and warm.
    My anxiety comes from media who search desperately for the next bit of gossip as if that is all we care about.

    • Reply March 19, 2013

      Lydia

      Yes, Liza, I so agree! In fact, I wish I could ‘like’ your comment ;)

      Seriously, I have started doing the same thing – using it to try and raise awareness among certain friends of causes dear to my heart. (and I have friends on FB who clearly do the same).

      But, you know, I look at some idiotic people on there who get 50 million ‘likes’ for a friggin’ photo of themselves in a new dress, with comments like ‘go hot momma!!’ etc, while I’ll get NONE for saying something about children in immigration detention, for example. Just a deafening silence (no need to turn the car radio off for me!). I fear that trying to change the temple of narcissism is like pushing the proverbial uphill. Lots of people just seem to want all that ‘wanky’ crap, rather than anything interesting and useful. It’s weird.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    penszen

    You’ve articulated so well what all of us ‘users’ feel, Bianca. I purposely have avoided buying any kind of portable device because I know that my addiction to facebook (currently used only at home on my desktop) will just balloon. I do think it’s a weird and unnatural way to live, filtering like that, and good on you for ditching it so completely. I feel my addiction is under control, but isn’t that what they all say??

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    HK

    Couldn’t agree more – thank you for writing so much sense! This is so inspiring and reassuring for me because I’m working on similar anxiety issues myself, and I can imagine what relief it must be to be be free of that anxiety.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Kriddy

    I have to say, I LOVED this article because it is me in a nutshell! I hate that Facebook is such an important tool for me in which to reach my target market for work because I can honestly say that the lines are blurred now. Will be getting rid of my account after the fundraiser I’m organising is over…

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Pauline

    Oh Bianca, well done. I ditched FB over six months ago…it was becoming a horrid addiction and everything you have said makes so much sense. In fact, as I read this, my mind instantly told me to post to FB for all my ex FB friends to see…after six months I still do this! A lot of friends treat me as though I’m weird because I don’t know what is going on…really? If it was that important, maybe you should call! Good luck and hope you stay off!

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Ess

    Good on you Bianca. Any kind of anxiety is so awful. I do use social media (just facebook and LinkedIn) and my 10 year old daughter has just asked to go on Instagram. I’m interested to see the difference in our generation who grew up playing outside and knocking on doors of people who had just moved in to see if they had any kids, skipping, elastics and actual interaction compared to this generation who really don’t. The kids now who are committed from an early age to all kind of activities organised for them. My instinct is that they will do better and have a healthier relationship with social media as they use this medium to catch up and connect with friends, whereas we jumped on our bikes or picked up the phone. Time will tell.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Irene

    What an interesting article… it just made me stop and think about my obsession with social media! Only yesterday my laptop decided it needed a software update, how stressful are those!! During the time it took to shut down and re-boot, I grabbed my ipad so i wouldn’t miss anything important on my facebook page while simultaneously using this “free time” to Instagram on my iphone! I’m soooo not ready to give all this up just yet…

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Touche

    Nice one Bianca. I am exactly in that position – however I can’t ‘log off’ as such because I have three websites all of which tie into social media and rely on it in a sense to drive traffic. I’ve automated it as much as possible but that beast still needs me to feed it manually too. My boundary is that it’s work. I don’t really update my FB profile at all with personal stuff.
    My iphone battery died the other day and I went out – for about 2 hours – without it. First time in ages. I realised I had looked for it to check it, check FB, check Twitter, post to Instagram, check my email around 30 times during that time. I have to make a really conscious effort to unplug. I’m getting better. But I must say I envy you… the silence, the break, I crave it.
    I’ve had anxiety issues too and I’m not at all surprised yours disappeared once you got off social media.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    bianca

    i am just loving reading about fellow “addicts”! I dont feel so bad now!!
    UNITED WE STAND! well…for a while anyway ! :)

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    edie

    I use Facebook, but usually only to see what my friends are doing. Some share much more than others, and I agree, a very few of them may have some kind of anxiety associated with it. But I have none, and so do most of my friends. We are mostly older, we are not trying to look hot or cool. We are thankfully beyond that now. We show photos of our family things, children and grandchildren or causes and ideas we support, things we do and are involved in. It can be a very useful tool for many things, but in itself is not evil.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Colin Eshman

    Loved the article very much,, I think it applies to me,, hehe!!

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Gail Bezzina

    I am on the fence with this one but I think its great that you have taken a stand and stuck to it Bianca , for me Facebook is used as a tool for my small business to show mums what is coming up usually weekly updates and for fundraising efforts to help make awareness of what was happening which was very successful .The other side I would much prefer a chat and a coffee with a catch up than hear about your broken fingernail on Facebook .. I my have splinters in my bottom from sitting on the fence but whatever works for the individual . I think really you cant beat a old fashioned chat and catch up .If social media is used properly it great but when it used wrong and becomes an addiction time to ditch it … Good luck with everything good article .

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Prue Johnson

    GOOD ON YOU Bianca ! Its so good and brave of you to start a dialogue about the affects of Facebook. I need to use it for work and I find myself checking it every single day ! Its tedious. And I use my personal one intermittently mainly to upload pics (carefully selected of course) and share event information. But its scary how often you find yourself comparing your life/images/experiences to others since FB started!! That can’t be good! In fact I have a friend who recent did her Psych Thesis on how FB makes people feel, and the results probably wouldn’t surprise you Bianca. YEP, Time will tell.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Kerry

    Maybe your anxiety regarding social media comes from some of the inappropriate pics you have posted! What alot of tripe!

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Sage

    I think this article speaks about Bianca and her personal issues not social media per say. An alternate version is that I see former homeless young mums now reaching out to other younger mums as mentors through facebook, a rallying of friends and funds to support a young friend with cancer, a place where we promote and gather bums on deck chairs for our picnics in the park and a cyber meeting place where old friends and long lost neighbours can commune and reconnect.
    We heard a former breakfast presenter on the ABC Agony Uncles show refer to Breakfast Radio as the ultimate evil….lol..so maybe its about that crazy, commercial frenetic lifestyle and not social media at all.

    • Reply March 19, 2013

      Janet G

      Good point, Sage. You can be self-indulgent and self-obsessed anywhere, not just on social media. FB is part of the real world and tthere you need to think about whether you are being boring or not just as you do when you meet your friends at work/coffee/parties etc. You also need to listen and enjoy what others are doing. You are IN the world, after all.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Emma Sutherland

    Totally agree with you on this issue, media overexposure makes us over analyse every minute detail of our lives via our social media. Maybe you should start a “No social media” day and get people talking again!

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Sara

    I loved the interview with Betty White when she found out there was a Facebook page dedicated to getting her the permanent gig of hosting SNL. “I didn’t know what Facebook was,” she said. “And now I do know what it is, I have to say, it sounds like a huge waste of time.”

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Kate

    Isn’t writing this article a kind of glorified status update? Also it badly needs editing.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Kate

    Sorry I shouldn’t be so harsh. I guess the main point is that social media probably does exacerbate anxiety disorders (especially ones that have a social aspect) and that is something to consider for anxiety sufferers.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    VanEssa

    I knew I had a problem with FB when instead of running from a red belly black snake, I stalked it to take photos just so I could post them.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Carole Lyden

    How true is this. We all make so many connections online but when it comes down to it we are on our own. I found that when I was ill recently and was not contributing to social media or other online groups, nobody missed me. Seriously considering doing the same as you Bianca. Thanks for a really thought provoking article.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Sage

    Thanks Janet. I am a big fan of Northern Exposure and there is a great episode where Ed, the Shaman in training, is being pursued by a little green man who is the Demon of External validation.
    The Demon is the voice of seeking others approval, justifying excessive self promotion as necessary to succeed and personal malaise that is projected onto the outside world as “its THEIR fault I am like this”…lol
    My experience is that many media personalities have that ole Demon of External Validation hovering over them and to suggest that facebook is the cause of Biancas anxiety is like saying its Cadburys fault that I am a chocoholic. My name is Sage, I am a chocohlic and if it wasnt Cadburys it would be Lindts fault. ;-)

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Kim

    Not everyone gets addicted and not everyone has an anxiety disorder ,So you can’t generalise.FB also allows you to spread the word on animal cruelty, the environment and rally people for some great causes, and with family and friends OS It’s fantastic for keeping in touch with your loved ones . If you want to become self obsessed with putting yourself out there and exposing every morsel of your life then its no wonder people suffer anxiety !! I’m glad you have found a solution to your problem Bianca .

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Sage

    Prue Johnson re “FB makes people feel, and the results probably wouldn’t surprise you Bianca.”
    Facebook is a place in space that people freely choose to visit. “It” doesnt make people feel anything, what makes people feel ‘bad’ like Bianca describes are external triggers that press on internal circumstances and actiate unresolved or emerging issues.
    Be it a young person who is not emotionally mature enough to cope with other emotionally immature people picking on them, an aging celebrity who is devastated so few people ‘follow’ her or in Biancas case, a person who was seeking status and significance in cyber space and built up an anxiety around it that was cured when she released herself form her own projections and expectations.

    Facebook is just like money. Whereas it might be the root of all evil for some, for others its just another form of currency that enriches connection and opportunity.
    Thus facebook is neither good nor bad but Thinking makes it so….makes it sew…

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Mum of Adult Kids

    “Does anyone really care that much about what we are all doing? ” Probably not, and I can’t stand those cryptic posts intended to lure people to ask or comment. Get over yourselves people!

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Narelle Matheson

    I enjoy my Facebook page in order to stay in touch with my non-Facebook friends and my family. We are spread all over Australia and I love to be connected to their lives and happenings. I don’t take photos, or tweet or blog, have no urge to be “followed” or to be popular, it’s a communications tool for me, and I use it for that purpose.
    I recognise that some may become addicted, and feel sorry for any form of addiction, but there are great technological tools available, and I do enjoy them.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Sage

    VanEssa I would like to nominate you for the best comment on here by a long shot:

    “I knew I had a problem with FB when instead of running from a red belly black snake, I stalked it to take photos just so I could post them”

    This has gotta be the equivalent to one of Shakespeares best written without poetry but equal in pathos and paradox to the best! lol

    *Leaves page to go to facebook and co-opt VanEssas comment as a repost to fulfill an endless need for unique status updates that mask my core issue of not being loved by my mother.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Dee Matthews

    I’ve thought long and hard about this over the past year or so as many friends lament the phenomenon which is Facebook. Sure, if social media makes you uncomfortable or uneasy you should give it up. But I wonder if those who are uncomfortable are that way because of the mismatch between what they feel and what they say. Cognitive dissonance will make you stressed, it will even make you sick, so I wonder if people are simply suffering from that condition where their real life is just not as awesome as their Facebook life. I love Facebook and I use it to keep in touch with just a few really good friends and a lot of personal interest pages (like thehoopla). I have control over the content and where and when I’ll access that content. I can imagine though, that should I act outside of my true and authentic self, anything I do or say could well come back to bite me on the bum.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Jennie

    Great article. I enjoy FB in keeping in touch with friends and family who I would otherwise not be able to see or reach. Seeing their kids grow up etc is fab. However, totally get that many may be addicted. Thanks Bianca.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    jacqueline

    good on you Bianca. You have clearly identified a trigger for your GAD and congratulations on persevering. I often find that people who don’t have an all-or-nothing tendency have difficulty understanding how hard it is to control one’s urges eg friends who can happily have a couple of smokes on a big night out and then nothing for the next 3 months. Whereas I eventually gave up smoking some years ago and it was a really unpleasant and difficult process.I could never “just have one”. I have never been one to update my status and use FB to catch up with family and a few selected friends who live overseas or many 100s of kms away. I was recently surprised at the amount of ribbing I got from similar aged friends who live…oooh…a good 10 minutes drive away and see on a regular basis when I declined to be FB friends. I have a phone, I know where the cafe is…and I’m not afraid to use it!

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Karen

    Wow. What an eye opener! Never knew that some people live like this. How stressful. (Like running a business …LOL!)

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    boodie

    If Bianca had been diagnosed with GAD in 2000ish that’s long before the advent of FB, so to suggest that being on FB caused it is really stretching it.

    FB was a symptom of her own inability to moderate her usage, much like any addict, it didn’t cause her GAD it fed into it.

    I wonder what else Bianca gave away or stopped doing at the same time she gave up FB, because odds are it was a number of factors playing into her GAD, rather than JUST social media.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Nat

    Facebook is like bong smoking for some people- anti social, all pervasive, BORING, and fills the space up where life is meant fit in. Good on you Bianca Dye for starting to ‘like’ yourself and your life enough to embrace it! ( pun intended!)

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Fairy The Green One

    I am an older person. I was born on Facebook in December, 2012. I choose not to discuss personal issues on Facebook nor will I post images of myself. I use my site as a gallery for my digital art albums and as a colourful resume. I also use it to educate myself. There are countless informative organisations that share knowledge about topics that interest me.
    I am in control.
    I also recognise that ‘comments’ cannot be construed as friendship. They are words on a monitor. To me, Facebook is a contemporary version and extension of the ‘penpal’ from yesteryear.
    Putting it into perspective, for me- Facebook is not a social medium ( I have friends in real time).
    Relax and use it to your advantage.

  • Reply March 19, 2013

    Sara

    Good for you Bianca. Great that you were able to find the focus of your anxieties and deal with it. FB is different things to different people, for me with close friends and family around the world it has been invaluable a precious way to see kids grow up, attend Birthday parties via photo albums, see wedding snaps, christening s and Sunday mornings of those I love. I think the key is to keep your privacy settings rights and your friends list short. That makes it work for me!

  • Reply March 20, 2013

    Jenna

    Lol-that was so funny I feel like posting it on FB!! Very true in some instances, it can and does definitely take up an awful lot of my time too. However the part I do like about social media and fb in particular is that there is a growing “social awareness” for those less fortunate and for charities, agencies and individuals struggling. Done in an online community that is more and more focused on “the world they live in”.

    In saying that I also truly feel activity needs to be controlled and measured to a degree as there is a very real danger if feeding one’s ego and narcissistic tendencies!!

    Well done Bianca-if it has cured your anxiety or helped and stopped your panic attacks then it was obviously the right move! Either way you are bringing more awareness to the subject and I for one can definitely see Merritt in that!

  • Reply March 20, 2013

    Emma

    I really need to give this a go!! Great article, definitely inspired me to give it a shot

  • Reply March 21, 2013

    Chrissy Bray

    Amazing! Bianca I think you’re onto something. We’re all addicted but we don’t know it! We all think we’re getting pleasure out of FB and the like – but is it possible it’s actually chaining us down? Does it expand our minds? Is the internet really helping us or are we stuck on our phones like a bad relationship?

    I think it’s awesome you’ve broken free honey and even more incredible that you’re anxiety free. That is something to CELEBRATE! Once again you’ve laid it all out to bare and shone a light for us all.

    xxx

  • Reply March 29, 2013

    Janet G

    I had to giggle at the 101 FB likes that this article received :)

  • Reply April 11, 2013

    Margherita Tracanelli

    FB A DREADFUL SCOURGE & LINKED IN TOO

    The DSM V should come out this year with yet another new mental illness, after all the writers have managed to pathologize almost every human act and feeling.

    I’m concerned that changing sox from dirty ones to a clean pair will soon make the grade as an OCD.

    Criteria for ‘social media induced insanity’ (SMII) or plain old anxiety disorders can be neatly summed up by Bianca’s honest account.

    Soon the courts will find accused relying on Psychiatrists reports allowing counsel to submit their client committed the “act” in a frenzy of ‘social media induced angst’ SMIA & SMII attacks will abound.

    And guess what?

    It is likely to be accepted by a tribunal of fact as evidence of non insane automatism for murder- why? because the jury will be able to relate to sufferers of SMIA and SMII.

    Even better the DSM can now also suggest a drug free cure, and the court can suggest a penalty that’s one in the same- get off the bloody thing and stay off the rage inducing nonsense.

    I’m one who refers to FB as “that dreadful scourge”.

    A few years ago, after writing for The Punch, another Punch contributor began emailing me with comments about my appearance as seen on FB.

    I was confused, he was not a FB ‘friend” & these were suggestive remarks he had no business making, and I’d not put a link on FB to my pieces either.

    So he’d just gone off ‘researching” and found me.
    But how did he see the photos?

    “How dare he, I’m old enough to be his mother” I cracked on about it endlessly, cranky, disgusted, up tight, call it what you want – I called it “pissed off”.

    A few months earlier, after 11 at night I received an SMS, from a young woman I had never met or heard of who was literally begging me to sell her a dress she saw me wearing on FB. What? Who is this? Waking me up with some crap about a frock!

    But wait how can this be? I was now wide awake.

    She had a party to attend, no other dress would do, she had many others by the same makers, but it had to be that dress, W&DB had sold out of the “Marie Antoinette” dress and were not making any more, and what’s more, I was her size.
    How did she divine that? I still don’t know.
    Please Please may she buy it from me?

    And, get this, she was willing to pay any amount of money I asked. I think $5000 was a figure she mentioned.

    How sad.
    Her desperate SMS was accompanied by a foto of herself. Very young, very attractive, gorgeous – she could wear a sack made from hessian or indeed any one of a number of the other dresses she already owned from the same maker and light up the entire room.

    I cracked on to my sleepy lover “geesus how the hell did she get my number” , and “how the hell had she seen that picture”.

    I replied by SMS dealing with three issues: first that it was not for sale, explaining nicely it was special because I’d worn it on the day I ran in the 2007 Federal Election against little Johnny Howard in Bennelong for the Climate Change Coalition, second that my collection of dresses and all of my clothing is for my daughter, and third I concluded by telling her that beauty came from within, she would look beautiful in whatever she decided to wear and she’d have wonderful night.

    A very lovely and I think heartfelt and honest reply came back also thanking me. I guess I could have exploited her desire, as she’d got up a head of steam, but luckily for her, it’s not in my nature.

    I might like the 5 large now though if she’s still out there.

    What a massive invasion of my privacy and a waste of time.

    But the (now defunct) Punch co contributor emails saw me do what any sensible mother does in a social media IT type fiasco. I called my daughter.

    After a quick inspection of my FB Heloise announced”
    “Mother, what the hell do you think you’re doing here, you’ve got this thing wide open, let me shut this ‘bad boy’ down for you”

    or words to that startling effect, it left me breathless, sick to my guts, alarmed, over whelmed.

    NO! How could this be? – Off I went cracking on again.

    What could be seen?

    I inspected my FB and I died a hundred fifty five deaths, SMII SMIIA writ large.

    The pix were fine for ‘the chosen’ FB friends, but not for the entire world, NO NO NO.
    It still makes me cross.

    Some people might think it’s fabulous to have a 22 year old male (read: a child) who I did not want to know tell me how sexy I am. I suitable reply if I deemed him one would read: “Go and sit down and eat your lunch”

    Then came the shock making, sick making, crazy making discovery, of the grossly cynical nature of that FB beast, a reflection of the inventors fetid mind- Check this out:

    Privacy on Facebook had BECOME AN OPTION … AND …WITHOUT NOTICE !

    What?

    As Carl Jung’s synchronicity would so rightly have it within a day came the interview where Mark (Facebook inventor) whatshisname Narcissist shamelessly told a journalist “you were all fools to trust me”.

    I needed no further encouragement or reason to shut it down for good, and never ever return to it again.
    I suspect I am not alone. Don’t ask me to “like you’ on FB because I won’t.

    LINKED IN is now in my sights.

    Disembarkation is imminent from that ship of fools too – how can anyone take it seriously?

    How many people have actually got jobs from the ‘FB for grown ups/ workers’ with too much time on their hands?

    I’m cracking on about this too now because my email accounts are overwhelmed with BS from LI – and after being tricked into linking up with people I’ve not seen, for good reason for decades, because linked in raided my address book/s and sent over a thousand and still continues to send invitations, supposedly from me, if I don’t click the right button, to anyone and everyone I’ve ever sent an email to, received one from, or indeed been included in from others, I don’t even know.

    Why? All because I don’t have time nor the inclination to study it’s onerous, idiotic, invasive, and I suspect inconsistent terms and conditions, rules and regs, click here and click there.

    I put a few jokes into my CV – after it kept asking me over and over ad nauseum to UPDATE MY CV!

    Ok here’s an update for you –

    Awards: I won a case of oranges at the Brookvale show in 1968.
    Kaboomba there’s your update now piss off buddy.

    Endorse this person for skills you don’t even know they have !
    NO NO NO

    But when I placed under skills “day dreaming” I got not one single endorsement for that and I am a truly gifted and great day dreamer. Just ask Sister Clitaldrous, Sr. Vincentia or in fact any of the nuns or teachers from my primary school. Even my ex husband used to get cranky when I tuned out, he could tell by my eyes I was in a land far far away, unreachable, untouchable, unteachable.

    Indeed yesterday I was asked “do you know XXX XXX”
    I happen to know who she is, she’s the wife of one of our recent past most senior SAS commanders. Does she really want anyone & everyone being asked to link in with her?
    May be.
    I know her husband, a great bloke, a good mate & we’ve known one another for over a decade & emailed for as long.

    But why is his wife being suggested to me a possible connection?
    I have never met her, I know her only by name, and it’s a complete invasion of her privacy.

    No wonder they floated. What are the shares worth now? Where do I sign?

    & BTW The names of the nuns are not made up.

  • [...] Bianca Dye: My Status Anxiety [...]

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