• You a past Labor member? That's a good one! So presumably you were once concerned about social justice. You railed against rampant materialism but because you perceive the ABC and its audiences believe in what you presumably once believed in, you want it slashed and burned and its journos tossed out into the streets? Huh? - Kel
  • Well what's your take on why the ABC PLUS the MSM refuses to investigate the Ashby affair; you know where a federal justice adjudicated that an LNP candidate in concert with Ashby conspired to bring down the government by fraudulently claiming sexual harassment by Slipper. Is this left wing bias? Who gains from non investigation of this issue? Furthermore why won't any journalist including our truth seeker Alberici, ask Pyne why he lied when asked about his dealings with Ashby. What about when Hockey denied meeting with Brough and Brough denied the number of times he had met Ashby. Gee this isn't about left or right wing bias, this is about the truth. Given that Limited News' 70% monopoly is dedicated to bringing down the government how does a citizen learn the truth about any issue confrronting this nation? - Kel
  • Well put, and I hope to see your documentary. I hate the idea of vaccinations and believe they can be harmful individually but we are part of a community and as such, we have responsibilities to each other, so my son'a vaccinations are up to date. The reality is that no one knows what will happen to us or our children, whether we are talking about injury by vaccine, or injury by preventable disease, or running in a marathon where a terrorist is in wait, or getting in a car and being wiped out by a drunk driver. We all do what we can for our kids and we can try and protect them as much as we can - but none of us escape misfortune. I have a friend whose son has shocking tumours and a limited life span. My own son has a platelet disorder which means we have to be constantly vigilant that he doesn't injure himself lest he bleed internally. Let's do what we can for our own - but let's not harm others in the process. - Alice Smith
  • What a fabulously challenging topic. Jackdan, very well delivered argument. I'd love to see your research. Publish it! Sonya, I look forward to tomorrow night's documentary. Thanks for taking (what sounds like) a rational approach. - Misty
  • Thanks jack... a very interesting response and, from my communications with Sonya I think this is exactly the conversation she's hoping for. Be very interested to hear your response after viewing the doco. - Wendy Harmer
  • As someone who doesn't follow the Australian Vaccination schedule, I already feel like I am risking ridicule and worse posting here. We have been hassled and hounded by doctors, nurses (one of us is a nurse) and other parents. Blamed for the resurgence Whooping cough and related deaths, etc. Our stance is that we immunise based on our own needs and intelligence. As a for instance, we are not convinced that our children needed to be vaccinated against Hepatitis B at birth, especially given that the vaccine contained Thiomersal when it was recommended to us. I'm not sure how aware you are of the Japanese experience with the DTP vaccinations in the mid 1970's, but as a result of many adverse reactions and over 30 deaths as a direct result of the vaccine, the schedule was altered and children were vaccinated later. I am aware that the vaccine is no longer a whole cell vaccine, however it is worth considering the delicate balance of the immune system in infants below 6 months of age. So we immunise roughly to the Japanese schedule. There is no Hep B or vericella. And MMR is given as MR and Mumps separately. We will make the call on Japanese when we visit next month. I note that the tone in the promotion of the doco appears to depict the non vaccination school as driven by emotion with the pro vaccination argument being driven by Science (which is a pretty broad concept). Our decision to vaccinate alternatively has been based on a lot of careful research and is based on risk mitigation considering that vaccinations do carry a percentage of risk, however small. We have the advantage of also being Japanese citizens, (myself a spouse resident) and can access the differently combined vaccines and scheduling. When recently discussing this on a facebook post I was branded an anti Vaccinator. Abused and blamed. My response is that I think there is a better way. A much better way. And the heavy handed pressure to Immunise to schedule, which then elicits a strong anti response from those who question, but are discouraged strongly and frowned upon for questioning, has created a climate of 'for or against', emotion or science, us against them. All pretty narrow reductive way to explore a whole collection of different diseases, risks, and vaccines (including their varieties of compositions, combinations and timing). So we have attempted to immunise the best way that we can ascertain. It's a tricky time consuming task to get all the info on each different vaccine from the manufacturers, to research each and every disease to ascertain the risks of actually contracting it and then what the risks associated with the disease are, but it has been worthwhile. I think that the community could benefit from a less doctrinal approach to the current immunisation schedule and regular review of disease risks and the vaccination schedule response. - Jackdan
  • I'm an E cup. When I was younger and skinnier I was only a C cup and could handle underwires. Then I got pregnant and discovered the bliss of maternity bras. Post babies and breastfeeding I went back to the wires only to find they poked me and now I've got 'birdseyes' in my cleavage. I cannot fathom the underwire. Obviously the person who designed it has never had to wear one. Having big boobs we're all encouraged to wear them, but now I'm old and fat they're far too uncomfortable to contemplate. I'm happy with my 'wirefree' bras. I figured that if manufacturers could make a maternity bra without wires that fitted perfectly and provided excellent support to lactating breasts, they could do the same for large, non-lactating breasts too. I found the perfect fit for me at a large chain store and bought the same type for years. Not terribly sexy, but comfortable and serviceable. Now I've discovered same large chain has a moulded cotton bra in large sizes. Better still, you can order them online when the sales are on and collect them from the store. Bliss! - BeansGran
  • Well put Sonya. I am so glad that you have created this documentary. Also, you have put forward a voice of reason backed up by compelling evidence & your own credibility. I am pro-vaccination, but I understand why it is an delicate decision for many parents. I haven't come across the anti-vax theories (I'd never even heard of the AVN until Mamamia kept writing & tweeting about them). I'd always just followed the immunisation schedule. But I have come across a lot of pushy pro-vaxxers and I have to say, it is a turn off. I understand that it's a passionate issue. But is it an effective way of increasing immunisation rates? Of course not. Some pro-vaxxers make it their full time job to name, shame & harass people opposed to vaccination. Is harassment going to change their position, heck no! Is it going to galvanise their anti-vac position, quite probably! I just think we need to be smarter about this. I know it is not a "debate" in the sense that the science is in on the benefits & general safety of vaccines. But it completely normal to feel uneasy about purposely injecting your child with something most of us know very little about. And then watching their every breath that evening as they process that vaccine. Sonya, I hope that your documentary is the beginning of the change in the way we talk about immunisation. Well done. - Kasey
  • I am very impressed by what you've set out to achieve and how you've come about it. Much of my work these days is in vaccination and I work hard to break down the myths and false beliefs people have about vaccines. I find listening to concerns, empathy and responding with good evidence based information has been the most successful manner I've had so far. I also reassure parents that it is always their choice, but I also share that I am a mum too and that I choose to vaccinate my child fully. And funnily enough that's usually the clincher. Respect, good information and empathy can go a long way. I really hope that many people watch your documentary and help absolve the many concerns and myths surrounding vaccination that are out there. You must be proud of your work :) - The Huntress
  • Not everyone has access too or any interest in the internet, you cannot drive a tractor and watch the internet but you can listen to radio, you cannot drive a car and watch the internet but you can listen to radio, you cannot wash the dishes, the clothes, yourself and watch the internet but you can listen to the radio, you can also lie in bed with Phillip Adams, half my University of the Third Age students go to bed with Phillip. Australia's best journalists were trained by the ABC. What I don't understand Gee is your palpable hatred, how can you be so angry all the time, just relax and learn that we are all different and some of us prefer the quiet nature of the ABC compared with the ranting and rage of radio shock jocks and commercial TV. Your phrase 'slash and burn' is shocking to me, no one I know hates anything, no one I know wants to destroy things or institutions, not even the IPA, why such violence of language? - sue Bell
 
24
Categories:  Harmer's Hoopla

I’VE BEEN WELL AND TRULY PLUCKED!

By Wendy Harmer
August 7, 2012

“I’ve checked our records and you haven’t been here since 2009,” said the woman at the receptionist’s desk.

I opened my mouth to speak and couldn’t think of any excuse.

Where was I ? At the dentist; the municipal library; the rates payable counter at Council; the video shop?

No. I was at the beauty spa down the road.

To be fair, she was smiling. Doing her best to be cheerful and welcoming.

So why was I flapping and squirming like a hooked flathead on a pier?

I thought of saying: “Sorry. As you can see (it must be obvious to everyone), I’ve let myself go. Please, take me in, I beg of you, and instruct me in the intricate and secret ways of women.”

Instead I just hung my head, mumbled and handed over the $200 gift voucher my husband had given me for Mother’s Day. Bless him. He’d remembered I used to go to this particular day spa, but the reasons I hadn’t been back in three years had eluded him. And me.

And I had to ask myself: What had I been doing since 2009 ? Wandering the forests living on roots and berries? Filing my fingernails on tree bark? Plaiting my leg hair into baskets?

(Then I remembered. The real story is rather more prosaic. I travel a bit and tend to catch up on beauty stuff wherever I am. I don’t have my own “dedicated” therapist. She’s just wherever I find her. Sometimes in a shopping centre. Sometimes in the underground spa at an anonymous hotel. And, even better, my 12-year-old daughter is a whizz at a manicure these days.)

However, soon enough I was lying flat on my back in a semi-darkened room and listening to Enya giving birth to a dolphin.

I was reminded of being in a birthing suite. Was it my imagination, or could I hear the  muffled screams of women experiencing severe pain in the adjoining rooms?

Anyway, before long I was warm and sleepy and, most importantly, out of the house.

My therapist crept about, vanished, then reappeared like a blonde Ninja and didn’t ask me stuff like: “Mum, where did you put the sticky tape?”

It was all good. In fact, blissful. If she had crept off to buy sushi for lunch and left me to sleep for three hours, I couldn’t have been happier.

However, I was booked in for a “deluxe facial” and I then uttered the fateful words: “Could you tidy up my eyebrows too, maybe?”

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24 Responses to this article

  1. Stella Burnell August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    “Do it yourself” is the way to go !

     
  2. Ruby Wildflower August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Oh yes a very similar one in fact… It was incredibly humiliating…
    http://www.rubywildflower.com/2012/05/15/guys-love-a-hairy-fanny-right/

     
  3. Claire Heaney August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Still getting over a similar atrocity. And Yes, it all started with the fateful “can I tidy up your eyebrows?” Still applying QV cream to repair the ripped skin. Will I learn? Probably not. I, too, will be seduced by the peace and quiet and hesitantly nod in agreement one more time.

     
  4. Emmasbrain August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I was over plucked once, at my regular salon, I was left with two rainbow bruises underneath my eyebrows.
    They also were uneven and jet black. Not ideal when you are as pasty as me. I also chickened out about complaining myself, for some reason I felt like I was insulting the beauticians idea of great eyebrows. Seriously. What was I thinking?
    Instead, I sent a feisty friend who loves herself a good complaining, in with a picture of my eyebrows. My friend demanded my $48 back which I used to fix them elsewhere, and I never returned.
    If it werent for my friend, Eyebrow waxing, would have joined public transport and road tolls in the list of things you pay for a subpar service with little to no complaint. I don’t know why.

     
  5. The Huntress August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Oh, Wendy, I am so sorry. I am precious about my eyebrows and I have a wonderful eyebrow man (who charges more than my GP, which offends me, but he is very good) who is the only person I trust, other than myself. Eyebrows are special.

    My big beauty fail happened when I was 14. I had long, long, long, thick hair down to my waist. It was a hot summer and I asked the hairdresser to cut it short. So she did. She cut ALL of my hair off, until it was about an inch long all over and didn’t actually style cut it. It was one of the single most horrifying experiences of my life – it took me 11 years until I could bring myself to have my hair cut again and I still have a fear of hairdressers. I kid you not, I go to the hairdresser and I have a full on fight/flight response. It’s getting better, especially now that I’ve found a good hairdresser who doesn’t mutilate me.

     
  6. Mrs Woog August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I just had my brows threaded…. but I am not sure you are ready for that yet Wendy. I did once however, walk out of a salon after she had only done one was strip on my leg. Which would have been fine and all if she lad not have spread the wax all over the rest of my leg. Took me months to pick all of that wax off. AND SHE EXPECTED PAYMENT FOR THAT? No thank you very much x

     
  7. Jenny August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I went to my hairdressing salon just last week. My usual young lady had left there to go live in the sunshine state (lucky girl!) so I was offered the new replacement who had come from one of our up-market suburban salons. “Just a tidy-up trim” was all I asked for – it’s certainly now tidy! One inch long all over! I didn’t mind it shortish at the front, and I couldn’t see what was happening at the back so I didn’t realize until I got home just how short it was. I can see my scalp through the hair! However, on the positive side, at least I have a skull-shape that I find acceptable so I will live with it until the hair grows again. I will return to that salon, but I will be politely telling the technician that she went a little to far this time!

    I do have hair which is difficult to maintain in a good style due to it’s fineness and weird growing pattern, and I have had some pretty disappointing haircuts in my life. It seems that I find someone who can do it really well, and then she will move off to another state, or go on maternity leave and never return.

     
  8. Susila August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Wendy, I feel your pain, although I do my own eyebrows. I’m lucky cos I’m quite good at it. It’s not easy! But I was once off to India to be filmed for a documentary. I “spoiled myself” with a leg wax prior to departure thinking it would be great to not have to worry about fur on camera for a few weeks. The very young women who lazily and slowly draped the flacid cloth on the legs and slowly pretended to pull the hairs out, seemed to be on her first day in the job. About 3 hairs came out. And the thing was – this was important! And I didnt say anything! And as much as I thought “I should go back and complain and get it redone!” I didnt. It’s crazy! What comes over us? I like to think that now, a few years later, I would.

     
  9. Michelle August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Thank you Wendy, the tears are streaming down my face from laughter.

    Seriously though I’m still using an eyebrow pencil 3 years later to fill-in the gaps where a “technician” removed too much hair – it is slowly growing back.

     
  10. Nat August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Yep. On Sunday I got served a Blt for lunch. Minus the tomato. Cold bacon.
    Bleh.

     
  11. thefeminist August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Apparently, being a middle aged woman means my eyebrows are suddenly not right for my age. They want to make them very, very thin. I like my eyebrows, always have. Solution – get a mirror with magnification and DIY.

     
  12. Aeron August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I once had a hair dye job that lasted until I shampooed three days later. I went back to the salon, they re-did the dye (not easy considering I also had foils which had to be blocked out again), in a darker colour (much darker than I wanted or than the original colour I had done) and this lasted exactly two shampoos before it again washed out. I went back again to complain, they offered to do it again, I declined because I had already wasted six hours of my life sitting in their salon. I warned them that I was going to tell everyone I knew what a lousy job they had done, and then proceeded to tell everyone I knew, and some that I didn’t know that they should never use that particular salon because they obviously either have bad dye or don’t do the job properly. Obviously I never returned.

     
  13. JessB August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Oh gosh, I am terrible at communicating expectations to people, but I am getting better. I recently went for my first eyebrow wax (I used to just tweeze them at home myself) but took the precaution of going to a salon I’ve used for other things, where I know the girls are lovely.

    Also, I told them on the phone I’d never had this done before and I’d like someone to talk me through it first. I think that helped them schedule me with someone extra-lovely, who talked to me about brow shape and thickness and told me exactly what she’d do. I really liked that they took such good care of me, and I continue to get my eyebrows done there!

    No hair shockers, well, none that aren’t self inflicted. Like the time I insisted my hair be cut to less than an inch long all over about two weeks before a family wedding. Or when I said yes to a style that looked great, but needed about 30 minutes of preparation to get it to that point – when I’m not that girl. I was distracted as I was in the middle of doing my hair for my 21st birthday and it looks terrible in all the photos – if I’d just insisted stepping away from the party for the extra 20 minutes it needed, I would have looked as good as I felt.

    That’s what gets me about beauty disasters, they really affect your morale, and can be so hard to ignore. You keep thinking ‘Surely, everyone is looking at my …’, even if it is just one of those things that is only noticeable to you.

    Great story Wendy, and thanks to everyone else for sharing theirs. I’ve had a good giggle, and re-commited myself to communicating expectations.

     
  14. Mary333 August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    On one unforgettable occasion I had booked an appointment for an eyelash tint and a bikini wax. Each procedure usually takes between 15 and 20 minutes and neither is particularly pleasant. In what I thought at the time was a flash of brilliance, I asked the therapist to apply the eyelash tint and then wax away while the tint was working its magic. Having spread the wax liberally around my nether regions, the therapist had what I can only imagine was a brain freeze. She couldn’t remove it. She pulled and tugged but the wax wasn’t going anywhere. I then had to lean down – my eyes covered in cotton wool pads – and rip it off myself! Only one word comes close to describing the experience – torture. And what was my response? Rather than complaining, I hobbled out of the room apologising (not sure why) and paid full price for the experience of waxing my own bikini line blindfolded! Wendy – I can only commiserate. They will grow back.

     
  15. Alice Shaw August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Once had a beauty therapist plucking at left over hair after she tore off each wax strip. She forgot to put the tweezers down and sliced into my thigh with them as she ripped the wax strip off. Blood pouring down my leg and she made me pay!!!

    Another “therapist” once had the wax way too hot after I went to her for a tidy up after the birth of my daughter. she kept telling me that I was just sensitive due to recent birth but I was so badly burned that my skin blistered and peeled within days – it was months before I get get waxed again! Ouch!

     
  16. Liz Brooks August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I over-plucked my brows for years! As a result, I eventually had them tattooed. They were a lovely light brown. After a couple of years, they had faded, so I had the renewal. These went orange!! For ages, I had to pencil over them, until I’d saved enough to go to a medical tattooist, working out of a plastic surgeon’s rooms, to have them colour corrected and hair strokes put on as a new tattoo. They are a lovely light grey colour (to match my greying hair!) and I’m extremely please with them. However, the cost was more than the previous two visits added up. An eyebrow tattooing cautionary tale!!!!!!!!!!

     
  17. Alex August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I had my eyebrows done recently at a place for the second time. The first time it was amazing. Best eyebrows I have ever, ever had. I loved them. But I forgot to ask the magician that did them for her name. So, next time round there was someone else doing them. They were not looking great but they were not the worst I’d had either, but this one had the scissors too and goodness me I hate it when they trim eyebrows!

     
  18. Glenis August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I now have hardly no eye brows from over plucking when I was younger. I teach and a teenage boy once asked me where my eyebrows were and I answered……medical problem. But I too never ever complain when I am in salons, too wimpy too!

     
  19. kerry Lynne August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Yes i can relate to your story.. at the start of the year I had a couple of things go wrong and was in bed ill and in pain… one day i decided to go to the local podiatrist instead of my regular one (had visited once before after relocating to new home), for a treatment to tidy up my toenails and feet and make myself feel good..I have to say here that i always look after my feet and they were in good nick…. . There was a new podiatrist on and I was booked in to him … Like you I just laid back to enjoy the treatment .. I did flinch a couple times and say ooh aah not too short…. Well.. he cut my toenails so short and rounded them for goodness sake that I was in immediate pain.. .I couldnt decide if I looked like i had just had toe surgery or if I needed it..!! my toes were stinging for a week.. i kid you not.. when i got home I cried… I tried to improve them by putting toenail polish on them again and I did not have enough nail to apply it to !!!!! It took four months for enough nail to grow back to look halfways decent … I feel your pain… you must complain and tell them you were unhappy and ask them to take a look and rectify … well sadly.. like my toenails… they wont be able to put the missing bits back but they can offer you an eyebrow pen and show you how to apply it … good luck ..

     
  20. RobynMarie August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Wendy, I have not had my eyebrows done by a professional (and I use that word lightly) since the ‘tail’ of my brows was removed without permission, leaving me with eyebrows that stopped in the middle of my eyes. And they took years (years!) to grow back. These days I utilise the natural light in the back yard (not kind) and pluck away. What is the use in complaining anyway, the brow is gone and no amount of complaining will bring it back.

     
  21. Jane August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    My beauty fail also involves eyebrows. I usually look after my own with my trusty swiss made tweezers and my 10x magnifying mirror.
    I was having a manicure a few days before my stepdaughters wedding, asked the therapist to tidy up my brows. I am not sure if the wax she applied was too hot or the product she bathed the area in post the wax “to take away the redness” didn’t agree with my skin. However the result was scabs on the skin under my brows. this was not the most attractive of looks. On the wedding day I said to myself more than once “Its not about me”!

     
  22. foolio August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I have finally changed hairdressers after years of unhappiness. My hair was so bad by the time I finally plucked (‘scuse pun) up courage to leave that my new hairdresser took a photo of me on her iPhone before she started work so she’d have a ‘before’ shot. (Either that or she was going to hand it round for laughs at after-work drinks.) She described the layering on top of long tresses as being something like a “modern-day mullet”. I don’t know why it took so long to leave. Friends tell me I am “too nice”. I’m not sure that’s a compliment either.

     
  23. sleybell August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Mine was lip waxing. Despite my paranoia about needles, I have been having good success with electrolysis on my chin with very little left of the long tough hairs to complain about. So I asked my beautician if she do the dozen or so longer hairs on the corner of my lip. Her response was to wax the lot. So far so good. But the next day ….. hundreds of pimples on my top lip. A Google search confirmed that to be a common outcome. Even with treatments they persisted about a week. I will tell her when I next see her, but I probably should have called her first. Lucky I didn’t do it for an important event! No more lip waxing for me!

     
  24. Dramaqueen75 August 8, 2012 Reply
     
     

    A perm, a very bad perm back in the early 90′s.
    I have thick, wavey hair. I dreamed of a spiral perm- I ended up with an Afro. It was devastating- I could see otherwise inthe salon looking at me in horror. To add insult to injury the perking solution had burned the back of my neck and I had a thick red whelt on the back of my neck that turned infected and pusy a few days later.
    I cou
    I not even rely on my long hair to cover it as my hair had sprung up and out as if I had placed my finger in an electrical socket.
    I was 22, a student working part time with no money. I was burnt and frizzy and, you guessed it, not assertive enough to complain. I paid my money and went home to cry.
    Massive fail :-(

     

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Comments

  • Kel: You a past Labor member? That's a good one! So presumably you were once concerned about social justice. You railed again...

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  • Kel: Well what's your take on why the ABC PLUS the MSM refuses to investigate the Ashby affair; you know where a federal just...

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  • Alice Smith: Well put, and I hope to see your documentary. I hate the idea of vaccinations and believe they can be harmful individual...

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  • Misty: What a fabulously challenging topic. Jackdan, very well delivered argument. I'd love to see your research. Publish it! ...

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