I’VE BEEN WELL AND TRULY PLUCKED!
“I’ve checked our records and you haven’t been here since 2009,” said the woman at the receptionist’s desk.
I opened my mouth to speak and couldn’t think of any excuse.
Where was I ? At the dentist; the municipal library; the rates payable counter at Council; the video shop?
No. I was at the beauty spa down the road.
To be fair, she was smiling. Doing her best to be cheerful and welcoming.
So why was I flapping and squirming like a hooked flathead on a pier?
I thought of saying: “Sorry. As you can see (it must be obvious to everyone), I’ve let myself go. Please, take me in, I beg of you, and instruct me in the intricate and secret ways of women.”
Instead I just hung my head, mumbled and handed over the $200 gift voucher my husband had given me for Mother’s Day. Bless him. He’d remembered I used to go to this particular day spa, but the reasons I hadn’t been back in three years had eluded him. And me.
And I had to ask myself: What had I been doing since 2009 ? Wandering the forests living on roots and berries? Filing my fingernails on tree bark? Plaiting my leg hair into baskets?
(Then I remembered. The real story is rather more prosaic. I travel a bit and tend to catch up on beauty stuff wherever I am. I don’t have my own “dedicated” therapist. She’s just wherever I find her. Sometimes in a shopping centre. Sometimes in the underground spa at an anonymous hotel. And, even better, my 12-year-old daughter is a whizz at a manicure these days.)
However, soon enough I was lying flat on my back in a semi-darkened room and listening to Enya giving birth to a dolphin.
I was reminded of being in a birthing suite. Was it my imagination, or could I hear the muffled screams of women experiencing severe pain in the adjoining rooms?
Anyway, before long I was warm and sleepy and, most importantly, out of the house.
My therapist crept about, vanished, then reappeared like a blonde Ninja and didn’t ask me stuff like: “Mum, where did you put the sticky tape?”
It was all good. In fact, blissful. If she had crept off to buy sushi for lunch and left me to sleep for three hours, I couldn’t have been happier.
However, I was booked in for a “deluxe facial” and I then uttered the fateful words: “Could you tidy up my eyebrows too, maybe?”
|Page 1 of 2||next >>|