• Why do I get the impression that John Jay is either a fan of or an agent for the Westboro Baptist 'church'? - Will Marshall
  • Why is it that whenever there is a natural disaster in the USA our media is full of it for days? But if something happens elsewhere in the world, it's hardly mentioned, if at all. The Victorian bush fires and the Queensland floods were mentioned one day in the US media and forgotten the next - but we get a barrage every time there is a storm over there and it lasts for weeks with all sorts of stories about answered prayers and heroism - which never seems to happen anywhere else in the world. Have you ever also noticed that if there is a blizzard or a heat wave, it always stops at the Canadian border? None of these things ever happen in Canada. This constant Americanisation really gets up my nose. I have met adult Australians who didn't really understand that we are not part of the USA. I fully understand why the French are so ... French - and want to stay that way and not become a cultural colony of America as we have become. - Jack Richards
  • says so much about the human animal bond - life's experiences teach you who is loyal and truly loving and they are the ones you're most likely to reach for when you're at your lowest - melissa
  • Gee Jack, you've sure stirred up all pumpkin-scone bakers from Akerman's blog. They must be desperate for attention to chase you all the way to here. I think many of those extreme-right women secretly have the hots for you - and that's why they go out of their way to find you. By the way, I read your comments on Rudd's blog about SSM. I couldn't agree more! - Yasmina
  • Congratulations PJ and team!! A beautiful garden. Connecting to nature is what it's all about. - Fairy The Green One
  • Yes, and you are about as far from being a "rocket surgeon" as anyone who has ever graced this site. - Wendy Harmer
  • Relax Harry, I normally leave my contributions to online debate to a single entry or two but the response to my very brief comment led me into this discussion. You're right to say I had some connection with the writing, hence my joining in. But the connection was based on my not liking it. That's fair enough, people write pieces for sites like this in the full knowledge that they will be critiqued and that not everyone will like what they have said. If authors don't like it, they shouldn't put their writing out there. You may have noticed that I was not alone in criticising the article and so far no one has actually rebutted any of the points I have made - just complained about the way I have made them. If you disagree with the substance then go ahead and say where. I remember well being 16, but I'm not sure that it has much to do with what I wrote. Whatever poor behaviour I exhibited then - and there surely was some - my mum didn't write open letters about it to the paper or whatever media were available then. You've engaged me online without actually suggesting where I was wrong, but have you had a word with your mum re. what she publicly implied about the behaviour exhibited by you and your siblings? I gotta admit being part of this thread has been pretty enjoyable but it's probably for the best that I normally wouldn't have time to follow something like this over a couple of days - one could get sucked int pretty easily I guess. - Sly Place
  • The freckled duck is not rare. Its listed as 'Least concern' on the UICN red list. Just because CADS say its rare, doesnt mean they are telling the truth. Of course CADS had armed protestors willing to attend shooting locations. Laurie Levy openly admits that his supporters were prepared to break the law to achieve their goal. So heres an alternative hypothesis. CADS descended on the (officially) unattended, unmonitored Box Flats, and chose to make martyrs of several hundred birds to further their cause. It doesnt take a rocket surgeon to understand that that is just as plausible a situation as a rogue hunter. - leigh
  • so lovely, I am glad she got him back safely! aww :) - sami
  • So in 2015 a ranking of 70 and above will be mandatory for entry to University in NSW. So even if school standards are lifted for all by a massive increase in funding only the top 30% of year 12 graduates will be eligible for a University qualification? Or to put it another way approx 70% of year 12 graduates will not qualify to be considered for a university education. Now that's exclusive. I understand why University funding has been cut. Why focus so heavily on increasing the funding at school level only? - Michelle
 
Categories:  Harmer's Hoopla

I’VE BEEN WELL AND TRULY PLUCKED!

“I’ve checked our records and you haven’t been here since 2009,” said the woman at the receptionist’s desk.

I opened my mouth to speak and couldn’t think of any excuse.

Where was I ? At the dentist; the municipal library; the rates payable counter at Council; the video shop?

No. I was at the beauty spa down the road.

To be fair, she was smiling. Doing her best to be cheerful and welcoming.

So why was I flapping and squirming like a hooked flathead on a pier?

I thought of saying: “Sorry. As you can see (it must be obvious to everyone), I’ve let myself go. Please, take me in, I beg of you, and instruct me in the intricate and secret ways of women.”

Instead I just hung my head, mumbled and handed over the $200 gift voucher my husband had given me for Mother’s Day. Bless him. He’d remembered I used to go to this particular day spa, but the reasons I hadn’t been back in three years had eluded him. And me.

And I had to ask myself: What had I been doing since 2009 ? Wandering the forests living on roots and berries? Filing my fingernails on tree bark? Plaiting my leg hair into baskets?

(Then I remembered. The real story is rather more prosaic. I travel a bit and tend to catch up on beauty stuff wherever I am. I don’t have my own “dedicated” therapist. She’s just wherever I find her. Sometimes in a shopping centre. Sometimes in the underground spa at an anonymous hotel. And, even better, my 12-year-old daughter is a whizz at a manicure these days.)

However, soon enough I was lying flat on my back in a semi-darkened room and listening to Enya giving birth to a dolphin.

I was reminded of being in a birthing suite. Was it my imagination, or could I hear the  muffled screams of women experiencing severe pain in the adjoining rooms?

Anyway, before long I was warm and sleepy and, most importantly, out of the house.

My therapist crept about, vanished, then reappeared like a blonde Ninja and didn’t ask me stuff like: “Mum, where did you put the sticky tape?”

It was all good. In fact, blissful. If she had crept off to buy sushi for lunch and left me to sleep for three hours, I couldn’t have been happier.

However, I was booked in for a “deluxe facial” and I then uttered the fateful words: “Could you tidy up my eyebrows too, maybe?”

 Page 1 of 2 next >>
support us

24 Responses to this article

  1. Stella Burnell August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    “Do it yourself” is the way to go !

     
  2. Ruby Wildflower August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Oh yes a very similar one in fact… It was incredibly humiliating…
    http://www.rubywildflower.com/2012/05/15/guys-love-a-hairy-fanny-right/

     
  3. Claire Heaney August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Still getting over a similar atrocity. And Yes, it all started with the fateful “can I tidy up your eyebrows?” Still applying QV cream to repair the ripped skin. Will I learn? Probably not. I, too, will be seduced by the peace and quiet and hesitantly nod in agreement one more time.

     
  4. Emmasbrain August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I was over plucked once, at my regular salon, I was left with two rainbow bruises underneath my eyebrows.
    They also were uneven and jet black. Not ideal when you are as pasty as me. I also chickened out about complaining myself, for some reason I felt like I was insulting the beauticians idea of great eyebrows. Seriously. What was I thinking?
    Instead, I sent a feisty friend who loves herself a good complaining, in with a picture of my eyebrows. My friend demanded my $48 back which I used to fix them elsewhere, and I never returned.
    If it werent for my friend, Eyebrow waxing, would have joined public transport and road tolls in the list of things you pay for a subpar service with little to no complaint. I don’t know why.

     
  5. The Huntress August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Oh, Wendy, I am so sorry. I am precious about my eyebrows and I have a wonderful eyebrow man (who charges more than my GP, which offends me, but he is very good) who is the only person I trust, other than myself. Eyebrows are special.

    My big beauty fail happened when I was 14. I had long, long, long, thick hair down to my waist. It was a hot summer and I asked the hairdresser to cut it short. So she did. She cut ALL of my hair off, until it was about an inch long all over and didn’t actually style cut it. It was one of the single most horrifying experiences of my life – it took me 11 years until I could bring myself to have my hair cut again and I still have a fear of hairdressers. I kid you not, I go to the hairdresser and I have a full on fight/flight response. It’s getting better, especially now that I’ve found a good hairdresser who doesn’t mutilate me.

     
  6. Mrs Woog August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I just had my brows threaded…. but I am not sure you are ready for that yet Wendy. I did once however, walk out of a salon after she had only done one was strip on my leg. Which would have been fine and all if she lad not have spread the wax all over the rest of my leg. Took me months to pick all of that wax off. AND SHE EXPECTED PAYMENT FOR THAT? No thank you very much x

     
  7. Jenny August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I went to my hairdressing salon just last week. My usual young lady had left there to go live in the sunshine state (lucky girl!) so I was offered the new replacement who had come from one of our up-market suburban salons. “Just a tidy-up trim” was all I asked for – it’s certainly now tidy! One inch long all over! I didn’t mind it shortish at the front, and I couldn’t see what was happening at the back so I didn’t realize until I got home just how short it was. I can see my scalp through the hair! However, on the positive side, at least I have a skull-shape that I find acceptable so I will live with it until the hair grows again. I will return to that salon, but I will be politely telling the technician that she went a little to far this time!

    I do have hair which is difficult to maintain in a good style due to it’s fineness and weird growing pattern, and I have had some pretty disappointing haircuts in my life. It seems that I find someone who can do it really well, and then she will move off to another state, or go on maternity leave and never return.

     
  8. Susila August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Wendy, I feel your pain, although I do my own eyebrows. I’m lucky cos I’m quite good at it. It’s not easy! But I was once off to India to be filmed for a documentary. I “spoiled myself” with a leg wax prior to departure thinking it would be great to not have to worry about fur on camera for a few weeks. The very young women who lazily and slowly draped the flacid cloth on the legs and slowly pretended to pull the hairs out, seemed to be on her first day in the job. About 3 hairs came out. And the thing was – this was important! And I didnt say anything! And as much as I thought “I should go back and complain and get it redone!” I didnt. It’s crazy! What comes over us? I like to think that now, a few years later, I would.

     
  9. Michelle August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Thank you Wendy, the tears are streaming down my face from laughter.

    Seriously though I’m still using an eyebrow pencil 3 years later to fill-in the gaps where a “technician” removed too much hair – it is slowly growing back.

     
  10. Nat August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Yep. On Sunday I got served a Blt for lunch. Minus the tomato. Cold bacon.
    Bleh.

     
  11. thefeminist August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Apparently, being a middle aged woman means my eyebrows are suddenly not right for my age. They want to make them very, very thin. I like my eyebrows, always have. Solution – get a mirror with magnification and DIY.

     
  12. Aeron August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I once had a hair dye job that lasted until I shampooed three days later. I went back to the salon, they re-did the dye (not easy considering I also had foils which had to be blocked out again), in a darker colour (much darker than I wanted or than the original colour I had done) and this lasted exactly two shampoos before it again washed out. I went back again to complain, they offered to do it again, I declined because I had already wasted six hours of my life sitting in their salon. I warned them that I was going to tell everyone I knew what a lousy job they had done, and then proceeded to tell everyone I knew, and some that I didn’t know that they should never use that particular salon because they obviously either have bad dye or don’t do the job properly. Obviously I never returned.

     
  13. JessB August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Oh gosh, I am terrible at communicating expectations to people, but I am getting better. I recently went for my first eyebrow wax (I used to just tweeze them at home myself) but took the precaution of going to a salon I’ve used for other things, where I know the girls are lovely.

    Also, I told them on the phone I’d never had this done before and I’d like someone to talk me through it first. I think that helped them schedule me with someone extra-lovely, who talked to me about brow shape and thickness and told me exactly what she’d do. I really liked that they took such good care of me, and I continue to get my eyebrows done there!

    No hair shockers, well, none that aren’t self inflicted. Like the time I insisted my hair be cut to less than an inch long all over about two weeks before a family wedding. Or when I said yes to a style that looked great, but needed about 30 minutes of preparation to get it to that point – when I’m not that girl. I was distracted as I was in the middle of doing my hair for my 21st birthday and it looks terrible in all the photos – if I’d just insisted stepping away from the party for the extra 20 minutes it needed, I would have looked as good as I felt.

    That’s what gets me about beauty disasters, they really affect your morale, and can be so hard to ignore. You keep thinking ‘Surely, everyone is looking at my …’, even if it is just one of those things that is only noticeable to you.

    Great story Wendy, and thanks to everyone else for sharing theirs. I’ve had a good giggle, and re-commited myself to communicating expectations.

     
  14. Mary333 August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    On one unforgettable occasion I had booked an appointment for an eyelash tint and a bikini wax. Each procedure usually takes between 15 and 20 minutes and neither is particularly pleasant. In what I thought at the time was a flash of brilliance, I asked the therapist to apply the eyelash tint and then wax away while the tint was working its magic. Having spread the wax liberally around my nether regions, the therapist had what I can only imagine was a brain freeze. She couldn’t remove it. She pulled and tugged but the wax wasn’t going anywhere. I then had to lean down – my eyes covered in cotton wool pads – and rip it off myself! Only one word comes close to describing the experience – torture. And what was my response? Rather than complaining, I hobbled out of the room apologising (not sure why) and paid full price for the experience of waxing my own bikini line blindfolded! Wendy – I can only commiserate. They will grow back.

     
  15. Alice Shaw August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Once had a beauty therapist plucking at left over hair after she tore off each wax strip. She forgot to put the tweezers down and sliced into my thigh with them as she ripped the wax strip off. Blood pouring down my leg and she made me pay!!!

    Another “therapist” once had the wax way too hot after I went to her for a tidy up after the birth of my daughter. she kept telling me that I was just sensitive due to recent birth but I was so badly burned that my skin blistered and peeled within days – it was months before I get get waxed again! Ouch!

     
  16. Liz Brooks August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I over-plucked my brows for years! As a result, I eventually had them tattooed. They were a lovely light brown. After a couple of years, they had faded, so I had the renewal. These went orange!! For ages, I had to pencil over them, until I’d saved enough to go to a medical tattooist, working out of a plastic surgeon’s rooms, to have them colour corrected and hair strokes put on as a new tattoo. They are a lovely light grey colour (to match my greying hair!) and I’m extremely please with them. However, the cost was more than the previous two visits added up. An eyebrow tattooing cautionary tale!!!!!!!!!!

     
  17. Alex August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I had my eyebrows done recently at a place for the second time. The first time it was amazing. Best eyebrows I have ever, ever had. I loved them. But I forgot to ask the magician that did them for her name. So, next time round there was someone else doing them. They were not looking great but they were not the worst I’d had either, but this one had the scissors too and goodness me I hate it when they trim eyebrows!

     
  18. Glenis August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I now have hardly no eye brows from over plucking when I was younger. I teach and a teenage boy once asked me where my eyebrows were and I answered……medical problem. But I too never ever complain when I am in salons, too wimpy too!

     
  19. kerry Lynne August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Yes i can relate to your story.. at the start of the year I had a couple of things go wrong and was in bed ill and in pain… one day i decided to go to the local podiatrist instead of my regular one (had visited once before after relocating to new home), for a treatment to tidy up my toenails and feet and make myself feel good..I have to say here that i always look after my feet and they were in good nick…. . There was a new podiatrist on and I was booked in to him … Like you I just laid back to enjoy the treatment .. I did flinch a couple times and say ooh aah not too short…. Well.. he cut my toenails so short and rounded them for goodness sake that I was in immediate pain.. .I couldnt decide if I looked like i had just had toe surgery or if I needed it..!! my toes were stinging for a week.. i kid you not.. when i got home I cried… I tried to improve them by putting toenail polish on them again and I did not have enough nail to apply it to !!!!! It took four months for enough nail to grow back to look halfways decent … I feel your pain… you must complain and tell them you were unhappy and ask them to take a look and rectify … well sadly.. like my toenails… they wont be able to put the missing bits back but they can offer you an eyebrow pen and show you how to apply it … good luck ..

     
  20. RobynMarie August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Wendy, I have not had my eyebrows done by a professional (and I use that word lightly) since the ‘tail’ of my brows was removed without permission, leaving me with eyebrows that stopped in the middle of my eyes. And they took years (years!) to grow back. These days I utilise the natural light in the back yard (not kind) and pluck away. What is the use in complaining anyway, the brow is gone and no amount of complaining will bring it back.

     
  21. Jane August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    My beauty fail also involves eyebrows. I usually look after my own with my trusty swiss made tweezers and my 10x magnifying mirror.
    I was having a manicure a few days before my stepdaughters wedding, asked the therapist to tidy up my brows. I am not sure if the wax she applied was too hot or the product she bathed the area in post the wax “to take away the redness” didn’t agree with my skin. However the result was scabs on the skin under my brows. this was not the most attractive of looks. On the wedding day I said to myself more than once “Its not about me”!

     
  22. foolio August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I have finally changed hairdressers after years of unhappiness. My hair was so bad by the time I finally plucked (‘scuse pun) up courage to leave that my new hairdresser took a photo of me on her iPhone before she started work so she’d have a ‘before’ shot. (Either that or she was going to hand it round for laughs at after-work drinks.) She described the layering on top of long tresses as being something like a “modern-day mullet”. I don’t know why it took so long to leave. Friends tell me I am “too nice”. I’m not sure that’s a compliment either.

     
  23. sleybell August 7, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Mine was lip waxing. Despite my paranoia about needles, I have been having good success with electrolysis on my chin with very little left of the long tough hairs to complain about. So I asked my beautician if she do the dozen or so longer hairs on the corner of my lip. Her response was to wax the lot. So far so good. But the next day ….. hundreds of pimples on my top lip. A Google search confirmed that to be a common outcome. Even with treatments they persisted about a week. I will tell her when I next see her, but I probably should have called her first. Lucky I didn’t do it for an important event! No more lip waxing for me!

     
  24. Dramaqueen75 August 8, 2012 Reply
     
     

    A perm, a very bad perm back in the early 90′s.
    I have thick, wavey hair. I dreamed of a spiral perm- I ended up with an Afro. It was devastating- I could see otherwise inthe salon looking at me in horror. To add insult to injury the perking solution had burned the back of my neck and I had a thick red whelt on the back of my neck that turned infected and pusy a few days later.
    I cou
    I not even rely on my long hair to cover it as my hair had sprung up and out as if I had placed my finger in an electrical socket.
    I was 22, a student working part time with no money. I was burnt and frizzy and, you guessed it, not assertive enough to complain. I paid my money and went home to cry.
    Massive fail :-(

     

Have Your Say

Get e-mail notifications for new comments

 

You may also like

Left Right

porno porno sex

Talking About Dementia

Your Score:  

Your Ranking:  

Hoopla Poll

Comments

  • Will Marshall: Why do I get the impression that John Jay is either a fan of or an agent for the Westboro Baptist 'church'?

  • Jack Richards: Why is it that whenever there is a natural disaster in the USA our media is full of it for days? But if something happen...

  • melissa: says so much about the human animal bond - life's experiences teach you who is loyal and truly loving and they are the o...

  • Yasmina: Gee Jack, you've sure stirred up all pumpkin-scone bakers from Akerman's blog. They must be desperate for attention to c...

Freebies

loading time: 1.35 sec