LEONIE AND THE CYBER TROLLS
I have had over 15 years experience with online forums and online communities – both as a moderator and a participant.
My role as a cyber safety trainer, social media consultant and speaker is to educate employers, parents, teachers and students on how to handle cyber bullying and protect online privacy.
I have witnessed many of my online friends and my own family subjected to online abuse. I have also encountered trolls in the past – if you’ve been online for as long as I have you can’t avoid it. I have also assisted family members, clients, teachers, students, parents, friends and colleagues in dealing with trolling, cyber bullying fraudsters and online stalkers.
I am not a mental health expert, my opinions come from years of research and experience as a forum moderator, a blogger, an online community member and lastly as a mother of two teens 12 and 15 yrs of age who are passionate users of computers and online games.
My lay person’s opinion is that trolls bully for attention, for sport and a need to stroke some deep seated urge for power to the point of sadism.
My advice for dealing with trolls or abusive behaviour online is to always ban, block, report and reach out for help from a trusted friend or mentor, parent or teacher.
This is the safest way to deal with online abuse. If the troll goes away, all well and good but unfortunately, if a troll or cyber bully is determined to get to you, avoiding them is almost impossible.
Trolling can turn from mild abuse very quickly into a frightening stalking episode, one that even police may find hard to deal with.
I won’t go into all the ways I’ve seen stalkers and trolls get at people – it only advertises their methods. However, reporting cyber bullying and trolling is vital to bring it out in the open and have accountability.
I have in the past gone “undercover” to help expose a stalker or an internet nasty. (I think I must have a Nancy Drew detective side of me that is burning within). I do it because I have a strong need for justice and if I see someone being victimised, I find it really hard to not help.
Some trolls and online frauds are really stupid, leaving traces all over the place, others are far better at hiding. I’ve learned over the years how to trace people online and it’s not that difficult.
Why Do I Care?
I was bullied as a child, not badly, but I learned to avoid the bullies by being a bit of ham and getting a laugh, but witnessing my own children being bullied hurts more than anything and that is why I became involved in online protection from cyber bullying. Both my boys are a little “different” and have been the target of offline and online abuse, one of them since he was four years old. I’ve taught them resilience, avoidance, and all of the techniques I’ve outlined above. And yes some of the bullies did get their comeuppance.
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15 Responses to this article
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dramaqueen75 September 3, 2012
Well said cyber safety lady
I am a teacher and these issues come up often for kids – both as the target of online abuse and the perpetrator. It’s the weird “freedom” people seem to feel when they are no longer face to face with another person. Doesn’t say much positive about human nature, sadly.
I’ve met a few trolls in my time – overt and covert ones, and made the decision to have no communication with them at all. It’s not easy, especially when you see someone pathetically trying to abuse your good name or undermine your reputation.
Some people just seem to be manipulative or just plain nasty – they may be able to hide the mean part of themselves face to face but the truth comes out when they are in the digital realm.
I don’t get angry at them any more – they are clearly unhappy, jealous or bitter.
I just feel sorry for them.Keep up the good work “Troll Hunter”
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Jenny September 3, 2012
I know what you mean Dramaqueen about people who seem nice face to face but their true personality comes out online, when they get together with the rest of their gang and try and intimidate others. Sadly I was a victim of this; I went out of my way to help some friends of mine. I was nothing but nice, helpful and even on occasion helped out financially with a few. Even offered to pay for one of their children to have an operation because they did not have the money. However, when things did not go their way they decided to pack up their bat and ball and they didn’t want to play anymore. They became online bullies and even tried to call out people online when they thought it was someone else. Unfortunately they were attacking the wrong person. These women are all over the age of 50 and you would think they knew better, but like you said, they are clearly unhappy, jealous or bitter.
I too feel sorry for them. But you learn your lesson and you move on. The good thing that came out of it all is that you learn who your real friends are and who is just out for themselves and only want to be around when everything is about them.
Sad really
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The Huntress September 3, 2012
The Troll Hunter – Love it!
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Mrs Woog September 3, 2012
Thanks for this. i am a big fan of blocking and deleting and ignoring, but it sometimes hurts. Thanks Leonie for a great, important insight xxx
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Cathie September 3, 2012
So agree with the comment that “Thick skin doesn’t mean lack of heart or lack of sensitivity, it means being able to hide the hurt better.”
I am a tough nut, someone who has survived many things that others wouldn’t and it constantly amazes me that people who don’t really know me think it’s ok to say, text or send me an email saying I am a f***ing bitch, that no-one likes me etc etc. As a grown women I find that women are the worse at this.
My policy has to been to walk away as I have learnt from the past that defending myself tends to escalate an argument, people who are willing to say that and talk about you like that do not want the truth as it makes them look bad. -
RobynMarie September 3, 2012
I think it is a sad reflection on our society that these ‘trolls’ exsist. I mean what is wrong with these people? Be kind to each other. Is that so hard?
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Leonie Smith September 3, 2012
Should have said “Not That difficult to trace some of them, as in the case of Charlottes Troll that she rang. ” stand corrected. Point being some “Trolls” don’t even try to hide their identity.
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Benison O'Reilly September 3, 2012
All good advice. I’ve been trolled a little bit, but I guess I’m not high-profile enough to attract much vitriol, a mixed-blessing I guess. I block & ignore. I assume most trolls are sad losers so to date they haven’t bothered me at all – surprisingly really because I was badly bullied at high school.
I have an interest in Oz politics but before the last election I stopped following the election hashtags on Twitter, so offended was I by the misogynist rants against Julia Gillard. A real worry there are so many ‘haters’ out there.
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June September 4, 2012
I so agree with you Benison O’Reilly, I too was constantly receiving terrible emails about Julia Gillard, mainly from friends who would keep just forwarding on to their address books… I would find myself getting very upset for Ms Gillard and her family, until I emailed all my friends and asked them to stop sending them because they were all really “Hate messages” It does bother me that people can feel so much hate for someone they don’t even personally know. So many seem to have no consideration or compassion and like these cyber bullies and trolls they get pleasure from hurting people.
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Lucille October 22, 2012
I received a message in response to my YouTube post where I was complaining about lack of service and product knowledge. They said they knew where I lived and that I should be very careful not to leave my dogs unattended or they would be killed. I reported their I/net title to the very large company and a copy of their comments. The very large company ignored my letter. The very large company who shall remain nameless (starts with W) also advertises on Alan Jones radio.
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jojogirl November 1, 2012
I think if we sit well in our skin and we know who we truly authentically are it shouldnt matter what other peoples opinions are of us,,,,,, I certainly dont care what jo blow down the road thinks of me or some nit wit on line that I dont even know,,, someone could call me all the name under the sun and it would not make a dent in my armour,,,,they dont pay my bills,,, The opion that should matter of yourself is the one you have of yourself,,,,,, I know I sound like a hard arse but we need to start teaching our kids some self asteem, and that there are some ugly people in the world, but if you are ok with yourself you can just switch off the phone the lap top and build a bridge and move on,,,,, The best revenge is getting on with life and being happy,,,, Ugly soulless people cant stand anyone else being happy,,,,, Even if you have to fake it until you make it,,,,, Youre inner voice can be the strongest tool that you have,,,,, USE IT
