• Thank you Germaine, great writing, well said and all the facts, no bullshit. What a shame people like Ann Noyd, can't see the forest for the LNP trees! PM Julia Gillard, will prevail, will win and will take our great nation on to even further greatness. The options are not even worth throwing up about, that's how Abbot makes so many of us feel. Lately I've even had friends who have never had a political sinew in their bodies before saying to me, "got to keep Julia Gillard, that liberal moron will send us all back to the 1800s" and he would, given half the chance. Julia Gillard, as Tony Windsor seconded, has been brilliant as the PM of a hung parliament, JG must be permitted to continue her great work for our nation. - NarelleM
  • And in Victoria it is impossible to get a taxi to take you a short distance and with Jill Maher case she was a short distance from home, in a brightly lit street with people around her and there is no way a taxi would take her that short distance from the safety of her friends to the safety of her house. So even the bloke walking home with money would not be able to get a taxi here. The blame the victim attitude in Victoria in the late 60s they seriously tried to put a curfew on women. And we need to understand that even walking with a male to escort you is not safe, I have been in three situations where the men I was walking with (either close friends or husband) were attacked. My earlier experiences of being assaulted led to me being explosive (vocally) as they were attacked. In one case I stepped in and took a punch to protect the young man I was with as I knew that the blokes across the road would react to a woman being hit and come and help me, the second case my friend and I walked around the block for some fresh air whilst at a party, we passed a group of men who ran up behind us and smashed him over the head with a bottle. He arrived back at the party so stunned he had no idea where I was, others at the party found me screaming abuse at the blokes and rescued me. The third time we had just left a bookstore I worked, for after an evening with an author, by the time the blokes in the car had done a u turn to attack us, we were saved by the sheer number of our party who they had not noticed. - sue Bell
  • Ah just got the joke Annoyed. I am slipping. - Dianne
  • Ann I am afraid most of us are having to use a crystal ball to tell us what Tony has in store. He sure isn't saying much. If you want a glimpse though head off to the Institute of Public Affairs website and then on to Cori Bernardi MP's websites. They may give you some clues. Oh happy, happy days. - Dianne
  • And how many decades has Ms. Greer spent outside of her birth country! Her opinions aren't worth much as an outsider peeking in when the spirit moves her.. And what a hide speculating on how Tony Abbott will govern the country. Does she have a crystal ball pray tell! Wake up Hoopla readers. ps: I don't condone the treatment JG has suffered from some quarters but that's no reason to vote for her. The woman is clearly out of her depth. - Ann Noyd
  • I have had a sincere admiration for your work Germaine Greer, and enjoyed your article and perspective. I must admit, I was perplexed by your comments about our incumbent Prime Minister given your published works and what I perceived to be your feminist ideals. However, one rainfall does not a flood make, and I really welcome your recognition of the revolting attitudes towards Julia Gillard and your (perhaps qualified) support for her return as our preferred Prime Minister. My belief is that she has achieved an enviable amount given the difficulties inherent within the framework of a minority government, division within the Labour Party over Kevin Rudd, and the extraordinary personal attacks from both the media and the opposition benches. Of course, I know I do not vote for the leader of the Australian Labour Party, but she has my unqualified support as Prime Minister, and my singular vote will be directed towards my local ALP candidate. The alternative is appalling. - Nel Matheson
  • Thankyou again Helen b. your generosity and sensitivity shines through. Tony W is a welcome addition. Agree. - Dianne
  • @ Tony W I must take issue with "Abbott .....he's been the most effective opposition leader we've ever seen." That "gushing" statement was made by Chris Uhlmann , ABC TV and I beg to differ , Abbott failed at the 2010 election . Failed in negotiations with the independents after that election. Failed to " be in the Lodge by Xmas", an arrogant claim he made. Failed to prevent this Minority Government from completing it's Full Term. What he's succeeded at is dividing the country and condoning the sexist abuse of our elected PM. I would suggest that every Opposition Leader who has won the office of PM, has been more successful than Abbott. Gillard / Rudd / Howard / Hawk etc etc. - Carole/m
  • This article highlights how insidious is societal conditioning that women must be all things to all people, but let's not ask much of men, because it would be unrealistic to expect boys to be anything but boys, This thinking is insulting to men and women and is why we have generation after generation of sexism, misogyny etc. Generally speaking, the bar is set very low for males and ridiculously high for females, sending the incorrect message to both genders. Maybe it starts with sons being asked to do as many chores around the house as daughters. To be expected home at the same time as daughters. Not backslapping the son for sowing his wild oats while the daughter is expected, even in the most Western of cultures, to not bring shame on her family. - Anna
  • Yes Dianne. I appreciate your writing. I don't know how JG keeps going, but as you said the other day 'The Drover's Wife'. I really feel the need for as many as possible to address the ignorance and really appreciate those, such as yourself, who are participating so vociferously in offering educated and aware commentary. There are a number of amazing women who comment on this site and who are keeping people informed about what's happening. Carole/m, Joanne H and Narelle M are 3 that immediately come to mind. I know I've left out some but, I appreciate you all and your contribution. Hard to keep up to it all when life entails other demands. Tony W is a welcome addition to the site. We sure need a few men with critical thinking and a gentle touch. - helen b
 
11
Categories:  News and Opinion, Wellbeing, Your Stories

GOOD NIGHT, DOLORES

By Simon Palomares
July 10, 2012

Sleeping in the recliner.

Wake up with various pains on my back from trying to contort into a comfortable position.

Silence, I reach my hand up and hold my mother’s hand. It’s warm. I squeeze and feel the waxiness of her skin between my fingers, and her life is just warmth and shallow breaths now.

 

The sun sets on Madrid. Photographs via Flicker.

I’m sitting on her lap, we are visiting relatives and it’s the end of the night, dinner, conversation, the grown ups are still deep in conversation but children are falling asleep, my head is resting on her chest, her arms around me.

She is talking, but I only hear her voice through her chest, her voice and her heartbeat at the same time and the muffled sound makes my eyelids heavy. The memory makes my eyelids droop now as my bones try to lock into a comfortable position in the recliner.

“Good night, Dolores.” I let go of her hand and fall back into sleep, my ear pressed on the sweaty vinyl.

August sun is flooding the room and mum is still breathing.

It’s a body, a body that carried her for 72 years and now is hanging on because it is programmed to live. What is a person unless it can be manifested? Where are the signs of her? To her, thinness was illness. She didn’t see herself as healthy unless she had reached a social level of obesity. She grew up in the time when only rich people were fat. Anorexia was incomprehensible to her.

Now she was thin, very thin and beyond ill. And she was gone, but her body didn’t know how to switch off. It automatically took in the next breath, then the next, then the gasp.

I told her it was fine to go, to stop and let go, leave to that place that dead people go to, or nowhere, or just stop.

I thanked her for my life, for being my mother, for holding me, for crying with pride for me. And I told her to go, as if for once she could do something for herself.

Go, rest, enough is enough.

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11 Responses to this article

  1. Sarah Watts July 10, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Beautiful story

     
  2. Lou Pardi July 10, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Thanks so much for sharing Simon. Such a common experience – I’m sure your words will resonate with and comfort many. Love your work – in all forms! xox

     
  3. anna July 10, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Sorry for your loss Simon, reminds me of my father only just 12 months ago…

     
  4. Wendy Harmer July 10, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Gorgeous piece of work, Simon. A wonderful tribute to your late mother, who sounds like she was the best mum a bloke could have. Thanks for sharing with us. Wx

     
  5. Mike hamilton July 10, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Simon, you bastard, you brought me to tears. You took us there , the sticky vinyl, I can feel the heat. And the sorrow and emotion when you said “thank you” , the same words I cried to my Mum. Good writing.

     
  6. Jo Johnstone July 10, 2012 Reply
     
     

    I guess it’s a sign that us humans are still ‘connected’ in this sometimes unfriendly and disconnected world today. How else can I understand the tears I have while I was reading your loving and personal story of your mum’s leaving of this world?

     
  7. Tina Paradiso July 10, 2012 Reply
     
     

    so heartfelt.. so real.. beautiful

     
  8. dramaqueen75 July 11, 2012 Reply
     
     

    My family had hoped to be with mum when she died, but everything happened so much faster than anyone had thought it would. The day mum died my sister saw her in the morning and then dad and I spent most of the day with her in the hospital. She was so very sick and so terribly frightened. It was overwhelming.
    I was able to stand by her bed and distract her with stories while washing down her face, which she found comforting. I didn’t want to leave her that night as she was very anxious but dad and I went to my brother’s house. We needed a break but I really wanted to stay by her side. Our last words to each other were “I love you” – we didn’t know they would be our last though.
    She died in the middle of the night from a blood clot in the lungs. It was so sudden and, even though I know it was a blessing in disguise that she went quickly and hopefully without too much pain, my God- I still wanted to be there so she didn’t have to face the end alone.
    I look to the bottom right of the screen and there she is, my mum with me on her lap, some time around 1968 – 1969. You can see her too in the window that shows the Australian Women’s Wisdom finalists.
    Isn’t she beautiful? I mis her like air. It was only eight months ago.

    Thanks for sharing your story Simon xox

     
  9. Valerie July 11, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Such a beautiful story. Such a beautiful tribute.
    Thank you.

     
  10. VRog July 11, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Condolences to you and your family – a very moving piece of writing.

     
  11. gardnerm July 24, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Thank you for such a beautiful moving story, I wake up every morning afraid to go into my mums room, for fear that her hand will be cold, but I know I will hold it forever.

     

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Comments

  • NarelleM: Thank you Germaine, great writing, well said and all the facts, no bullshit. What a shame people like Ann Noyd, can't...

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  • sue Bell: And in Victoria it is impossible to get a taxi to take you a short distance and with Jill Maher case she was a short dis...

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  • Dianne: Ah just got the joke Annoyed. I am slipping.

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  • Dianne: Ann I am afraid most of us are having to use a crystal ball to tell us what Tony has in store. He sure isn't saying muc...

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