DIGNITY IN WITH THE DIRTY LAUNDRY
Dignity comes in small doses these days.
It has gone the way of thank you letters, respect for privacy, and thinking of others before oneself. Dirty laundry is de rigueur.
Candice Alley and Grant Hackett. Photograph via Courier Mail.
Exhibit A: Grant Hackett’s plan to tell the story of his marriage breakdown to 60 Minutes.
He wants to win back public support before covering the London Olympics for Channel 9. Lawyers have been engaged to break a court-ordered vow of silence.
The provision is there for a reason – to protect the children.
In any interview, Grant Hackett would have to disparage his estranged wife, Candice Alley, in order to defend himself.
Newspapers are no longer fish ‘n’ chip wrapping: The digital footprint lasts forever. Once they learn to read, two-year-old twins Charlize and Jagger will learn every last detail about their parents’ break-up. As if they haven’t suffered enough.
Nev Hackett says the children weren’t there for “90 per-cent” of his son’s rampage after Derby Day last year. But, judging by the pictures, anyone witnessing wanton destruction of home and hearth would be wounded – either emotionally or physically.
Victorian police are continuing their investigation into how the photos were leaked, six months after the incident. Sources claim police only released them to one party: the solicitor of Candice Alley.
If this is the case, both sides are guilty of putting their own interests ahead of their children’s.
What kid wants everyone to know that Dad left after smashing up the house?
Then News Ltd. received another leak, about Hackett drinking five bottles of wine over lunch at the Red Hill winery. The following day, a friend of Hackett’s sent the media receipts revealing only one bottle of wine was purchased that day.
When a marriage ends, raw emotion takes over rational thought.
I know. I’ve been there. You might have, too. But this one is being played out in the papers. Tit-for-tat. He-said-she-said. Assertion-and-denial.
Frankly, it’s sickening.
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44 Responses to this article
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Carz June 21, 2012
While maybe not the ‘right’ thing to do I can understand why Candice Alley or her representative released the photos of the smashed up flat. After all, who would believe that Grant Hackett is anything other than a really nice guy. That is, after all, the default position for all Australian sporstmen. In the face of sexual assault and domestic violence allegations it is routinely the women who is vilified rather than the accused. Boys will be boys, and all that. Or if they admit guilt then they arguments of losing control are happily accepted, regardless of the fact that if you asked their victims they would say that the perpetrator was in perfect control, ensuring that friends, family and fans never saw the violence he directed at them. Releasing the photos brings home to a lot of people the violence that was involved that night. I know I could quite easily imagine Ms Alley and two small children cowering in fear in another room while Hackett destroyed the place. I believe he will use 60 minutes as a forum to claim loss of control, and the violence being Ms Alley’s fault because ‘She made me do it.’ To me he is just another abuser who should not be given air time. Doing so shows him and other abusers that it is quite acceptable to deliberately harm the ones you are supposed to love.
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bigwords June 21, 2012
What is it with Channel Nine and its boys club mentality? And as for Grant, he would improve his public image if he just admitted his wrong doings, got some professional help and concentrated on supporting his children through this extremely difficult time.
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Alan June 21, 2012
You are such an old fashioned girl Tracey. Andrew Ettinghausen should have told you nothing is sacred anymore. I agree with every word. Hackett channel 9 rehab is as disgusting as the Nick d’arcy rehab and people earning more than 150,000 bleating how they don’t feel well off and could the government chip in with some benefit or other cos they deserve it. Hackett should be flicked from nine and spend his time in shelters and refuges where victims of violence are helped out. Nick d’arcy should never have been in London travelling on taxpayer money. In both cases as Bob Dylan wrote, money doesn’t talk it swears.
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Admit your mistakes June 21, 2012
Why why why can’t Hackett say sorry and move on it is him that is driving this it is him that has done the damage it seems he just wants to blame his wife for all his mistakes if you weren’t happy why didn’t you leave. He is more interested in himself than his family.
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60 minutes... losers June 21, 2012
60 minutes they must be kidding he works for channel 9 how biased will that be!
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Emily Le Strange June 21, 2012
His inability to control his temper has destroyed his family. End of. Now he is happy to throw his wife and children under a bus in order to rebuild his public persona and his media career.
In the end, it will be up to the general public to decide if Grant Hackett should be on our TV screens or not.
I personally have no interest in seeing the guy on TV again. I have no tolerance for this stuff. Get some therapy, make amends where possible, do some community work and quietly go about your life mate. You blew it. -
secret squirrel June 21, 2012
I’m interested to see how Australian media react to this issue when the full story emerges. Is a gold medallist too ‘golden’ to fall from grace? Maybe it’s just easier to target the yet-to-reach-the-podium athletes who take silly photos, and black ‘rappers’ who are actually pop stars not rappers…
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Caroline June 21, 2012
Does this matter need/deserve to become a trial-by-media?
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Emily Le Strange June 21, 2012
I suppose the thing is Caroline, Hackett is appearing on 60 minutes to win back public support. He is asking the public to make a judgement about him. You can’t have it both ways.
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Giving Back Girl June 21, 2012
I’ve been through a marriage breakup, and like a precious, fragile and much loved treasure, I hold it the memory of it and of my former-love, carefully with dignity and respect. It’s not hard Grant.
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Kaz June 21, 2012
Maybe the sporting arm of channel 9 have told him he has to do this and who better to facilitate his family’s public humiliation than their current affairs arm? I hope one day his redemption involves talking to young people about how you can seemingly have it all, but feel you have nothing and how horrific it is to cross that line.
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Maree June 21, 2012
Perhaps he could take a leaf out of Lindy Chamberlains book and choose to act with dignity and compassion.
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Julie Morgan King June 21, 2012
Sick to death of badly behaved sports people. Not that sports is designed to catapult anyone on to a no fault stratosphere. It’s just sport
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elianda lee June 21, 2012
this GUY had it all and let ALCHOL destroy it, maybe the only thing good is that other people who think the can control the DRINK, should take a look at his apartment, BEFORE AND AFTER.
EVERY PHOTO IS WORTH 1000 words…. -
Benison O'Reilly June 21, 2012
A close male relative’s marriage broke up last year, painfully and in some ways unexpectedly. Like the Hackett marriage there were small kids involved. At every single turn my relative has put his kids first, and he and his soon-to-be-ex wife have handled the separation in a spirit of co-operation. I am soy proud of him & his kids adore him (he now has equal custody).
Nasty public breakups are so damaging to kids, but these selfish individuals always think of themselves first .
Shame on Hackett & Channel 9.And as for Nick D’arcy: why IS that jerk still on the team?
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Miranda Watson June 21, 2012
Wow 60 minutes what a loser Channel 9 for Channel 9 this guy loves talking about himself, I personally do not want to hear what he has to say, no excuse for what he did to their home he was so out of control, it is scary!
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Tom June 21, 2012
F**k Grants side of the story – he has no side he is the culrpit…the only person that should speak is the victim (Alley) to create awareness to other people of how to get out of a bad situation
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Ladylikestodance June 21, 2012
Benison, I agree, it is a choice we make – in how to behave.
It is within our control.
Shameful it certainly is, that money and fame are more important than family.Where is honour and dignity when you need them most?
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RollingmyEyes June 21, 2012
The embarrassing gap between what people know for sure and what they think they know about Grant Hackett. For more than a month the media has published facetts of his life that is more than likely to have come from one source only and the moment that he comes forward to have his say (which everyone has been bagging him for not doing so previously) you all jump on the back of the lynch-mob to bag him for ‘airing his dirty laundry’. All media reports have been distorted with some pretty serious allegations however there is no factual evidence to support most claims.
Can someone actually tell me what Grant Hackett did wrong – and when you do, show me the evidence to support that he is this person doing the things that you are telling him that he has done.
Don’t forget folks, and this goes to Alley and her family as well, any comments written on Facebook, Twitter and online can be used in court for defamation so I hope that everyone is quite happy to stand by their comments – I know that I am.
Also missing – charges from the police – for anything. They must know what happened and if charges haven’t been laid, I wouldn’t be taking anything that the media is saying too seriously.
The media has laid a lot of groundwork for the public perception surrounding Grant Hackett. We need to take a good long hard look at the laws in this country if the media can change public perception based on what they decide will sell papers. Unfortunately for Hackett, the truth in this situation probably won’t sell papers however allegations from an ex-wife will so they’ll always print that. One area that I can’t overlook is the fact that allegations have only been made after Hackett has left the marriage and a long time after the ‘incident’s in question – that would be a red herring for most smart people.
Grant Hackett, I’m looking forward to watching your commentary at the Olympics.
Ladylikestodance, you state that money and fame are more important than family – how many magazine articles has Alley done compared to Hackett since the split ……. using their children …..-
Carz June 21, 2012
@Rollingmyeyes, are you trying to suggest that something other than Hackett trashing the house occurred? Where is your evidence? I get the impression that you are trying to blame Ms Alley for the damage because it only came to light after they separated. Let me guess, you also believe that women are as violent as men, that they routinely make allegations of domestic violence and child abuse to advantage themselves in Family Court hearings, and that when women ‘alienate’ children from their fathers its child abuse but when men do the same against the mothers its normal, natural and acceptable?
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Willow Jackson June 21, 2012
“Then his world came crashing down. On Sunday night, Grant speaks for the first time about his dramatic fall from grace, about the night he trashed his apartment, the collapse of his marriage and the allegations that he physically abused his wife.
“It’s been an excruciatingly painful few months but now this former champion is ready to own up to his mistakes.”
Sounds pretty straightforward to me @rollingmyeyes. He trashed the apartment by his own admission, Have a good look at the photos of the damage and perhaps rethink your defence of the guy. This happened with his wife and family present. Still think he is a great guy?
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Judy June 21, 2012
Shame on Channel 9, I for one will not be watching!
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Lisa June 21, 2012
One word in this article definitely sums up Grant Hackett, Dickhead!!
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Lilly June 21, 2012
All I know from personal experience is to never believe anything you read or see in the Media. How can any of us really make a judgement based on what had been stage managed in the media thus far? And who actually cares?
I, for one, have no interest in learning the reasons why the Hacket/Alley marriage imploded. But there will be lots of people who do. People love to gossip.
Perhaps it would be more interesting to examine why Australians treat their sports stars like gods and then later wonder why they behave so badly. We are breeding and cultivating a bunch of self entitled narcissists and the list is long. How are any of them really making the world a better place?
As for 60 Minutes, I put it on par with A Current Affair. Pathetic, ratings seeking drivel.
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Ladylikestodance June 21, 2012
Rollingmyeyes, I haven’t come across articles on Ms Alley, and cannot comment. It seems de riguer for celebrity couples to capitalise on their marriage/babies/ breakdown.
How do you live with yourself, knowing the digital footprint is there for eternity? After reading this article I did do a google search to see the photos in question. I would find it difficult to believe a mother of two year old twins would wreck such havoc on the family home and traumatise own children.
Although have heard of instances where mums suffer depression/bipoloar and have attacked their partners.
But, I do take your point, there is always two sides to a story – and then there is the truth.
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Louise June 21, 2012
YAWN…. I don’t care!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Eme June 24, 2012
Didn’t even know he was married! let alone with kids… I need to get out more. So sad for the children. If alcohol is involved, well, won’t be the first time. Just that they are “celebrities”. I don’t know their situation none of us do. I won’t watch 60 minutes that way I am staying out of their fight. The media is making money out of it though….not from me. I wish Grant Candice and their children well and hope they can move on from this for the sake of their children.
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Nick Green June 21, 2012
Grant Hackett!!! lets not play games now princess… it is all about the money and saving face to the public!!! it is obvious that you only care about yourself/ money & fame… all i have seen recently in the news is you trying to save your arse … and it is only YOU who is talking & crying like a FOOL!! i have not seen your X speak as she must be too busy looking after HER children while your running around like a headless chook!! WHO cares what you have to say…i have seen the photos of your million dollar apartment and i think you are less of a man… destroying your apartment in front of your Wife is one thing- to do it in front of your children is the lowest !! you are dispicable and you should go straight to jail!!! PIG
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RollingmyEyes June 21, 2012
Definitely not saying that Alley trashed the apartment – those photos speak for themselves however what is pure speculation is that the children and Alley were in the apartment – especially when she came out 2 weeks later and did an article (her, not Hackett) saying that they were more in love than ever.
Journalists should tell the truth without acting as the prosecutors – they are not qualified to make informed decisions based on what few facts and mistruths that they may have.
They are often too blinded by the chase of what they think is a hot story, that they leave any maturity behind and the next thing you know, a lot of false stories and more mistruths is what gets printed.
No one really knows the details of the marriage separation. If one party wants this played out in the media, then Hackett has earned his right of reply.
Let the public see Hackett’s right of reply and make their own judgement. We don’t need journalists feeding us poor columns that favour one party over the other.
WE ARE SMARTER THAN THAT! -
sharon June 22, 2012
It’s symptomatic of the way alot of us live our lives these days, ie as if on a tv soapie. My observation and limited experience in this area suggest that until the individuals concerned respond to the advice and help of theirs peers and their family, nothing will change. “Celebrities” keep being financially rewarded almost regardless of their behaviour, and that is another factor.
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linda June 22, 2012
You can dress a pig in a suit – the pig remains a pig! I don’t watch channel 9 and haven’t done so for a long time! Too trashy! 60 minutes may have been a good show a long time ago but that’s many years ago. I won’t be watching the swimming because of the D’arcy boy being involved – I feel sorry for the other team members their probably decent people ( who knows?) Channel 9 a Boy’s club? I suppose their viewer demographic mouth breathing cave men, it is sad! They do seem to have their hands in each other’s pockets – the wankers!!! The Footy show panel and presenters are a perfect example of what I mean! I suppose Grant will find people (besides his parents) at 9 who will stick by him no matter what., it worked well for a lot of men so far!
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Cryingbaby June 22, 2012
grant crying like a baby on 60 minutes…grow up and apologise you wimpy overgrown idiot
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Trial By Media June 23, 2012
The way that we have been quick to condem someone nationally is quite confronting and I think that as a nation we should all be appalled – does anyone really believe what we are reading in the media? We’ve got the media, particularly some newspapers, beating into our heads stories that are likely to have come from one source.
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Sarah June 25, 2012
What on earth makes you people believe you know for sure what has gone on between these two people that has resulted in this particular event. Why is everyone assuming the woman has played no role in this. The fact of the matter is we have no idea of what the dynamics of their relationship. The wife may be manipulative, provocative, how are we to know? They have both failed to deal with this constructively. Two of them. Who of us has processed a difficult emotional situation perfectly every time? He was clearly at his wits end and has done something foolish but that does not make him abusive or a wife basher as many of you are labeling him as. It’s really none of our business but the media has made it so, therefore he has every right to speak publicly and provide his version of events. Who wouldn’t?
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Judge JUDY. June 25, 2012
I respect the fact that Candice, refused to talk about the incident, there is WISDOM IN SILENCE….
Grant, seemed to forget that, when children are concerned, he should never of been DRUNK the second time, if he had, been really sorry, he would of been home early and not late after the LOGIES… you can’t have it both ways GRANT, you seem quite spoilt and if i was your parents, i would of told you to GROW UP>>>
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Tipi June 25, 2012
This is not “news”. This is definitely airing the dirty laundry in public, an no good will ever come from it. We were not there, therefore we cannot truly judge. I never watch any of this sort of rubbish in TV now. It isn’t entertaining, non is it helpful or necessary. Gutter press for TV
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DTME23 June 26, 2012
Seriously listen to you all, the guy came home drunk, who hasn’t? Words where exchanged, typical, no one was harmed! the whole situation blown out to become public knowledge when this sought of crap happens in every suburb throughout the country. No matter how you spin it always takes two, so far one has come out in public accepted responsibility for what took place, while the other remains silent and lets the bloody lawyers take charge, first mistake. The guy made a error of judgement, one mistake to our knowledge, he should not be denied the right to see his children!
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Ms Magoo June 26, 2012
You think it’s okay to go on a drunken, violent rampage and trash the house? Seriously? Wow! That’s not just ‘words being exchanged’. That is full on violent, out-of-control behaviour and intimidation. The guy has major issues. There is no excuse for that sort of behaviour. Does he have to beat her up before you would take it seriously, or would that be just another ‘error of judgment’?
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Nick Green June 26, 2012
To Dtme23- you sound like a ignorant fool, so are you telling me that it’s ok to storm into your house like a tornado (while your wife and baby twins) are sleeping… Then have a argument that quickly escalates into a rampage, then slams your wife against a plated window(who by the way is a third of your weight) who then concentrates on going through the house destroying everything in your path!! Hang on where are the children? They are cornered in a room while you are having a hissy fit- is it because your wife told you off? Maybe she needed help!! Remember you have two children under 3!!! Domestic violence isnt only getting beaten!! And what I have read it screams many points of domestic violence everything from intimidation to standing over the partner to horrendous verbal abuse!! If it didn’t happen that night it would have happened sooner rather than later….
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Rhoda July 23, 2012
He obviously can’t hold it together when drunk. Makes you wonder if it’s a first. But frankly my only interest in the matter is that it airs some of the issues surrounding domestic abuse.
