DEAR TROLLS, ASK YOURSELF THIS…
After being relentlessly and horrendously bullied on Twitter, Charlotte Dawson is now in hospital.
I know Charlotte. I know what a good person she is and how much time and passion she dedicates to charities and causes she believes in. She champions the underdog and goes out of her way to stand up for people who need help and protection. That there are people out there who could be so cruel to someone like her breaks my heart.
She has been hospitalised, like so many other people have been, because of the pointless behaviour of others. This is what happens when you bully people. This is exactly what happens.
When you are cruel to another human being for a laugh, or to make yourself feel powerful, or to impress your friends, or simply because you enjoy it, you have absolutely no idea what effect you are having on that other person.
I get trolled. Some days I shrug it off and get on with my life.
Other days, the nastiness leaves me in tears. Why? Because some days I’m already having a rough time. Some days I’ve had a fight with a friend, or I’ve lost a job, or I’m sick or miserable or any number of things. On days like that, opening up my Twitter account to find people hating on me can be the final straw.
It’s a pretty rotten indictment on the so-called social media ‘revolution’ that we now consider a good day as being one where no-one rips into us on Facebook or Twitter. You know what that should be? A normal day. In a normal day, being personally attacked for your political beliefs, your chosen profession, your sexuality or your gender simply shouldn’t happen.
It didn’t happen to me before social media took over. Abuse was limited to people actually saying it to my face, yelling at me from an audience or writing me a letter.
No surprises for guessing that people are a lot less game to abuse me in public. I probably copped that kind of nasty crap a handful of times a year. It was so rare that it didn’t bother me and often I had friends or colleagues with me when it happened.
In other words, I had a support network. Thanks to social media, we don’t have those support networks any more. We are all vulnerable to attack by hundreds of people at once when we are completely alone.
And this is the world the next generation is growing up in.
This is the world they consider normal. Of course bullying has always existed. There are all kinds of awful stories of physical and verbal abuse in schoolyards and workplaces but now, unless you want to completely cut yourself off from the digital world, there is no escaping it.
Bullying now invades every moment of our lives.
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148 Responses to this article
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Nat August 30, 2012
Why trolls do it.
From the article: “He doesn’t feel any remorse, and strangely doesn’t consider his actions bullying despite claiming he probably wouldn’t have started trolling if he had not been bullied at school.”
Let’s name it- loud and clear. Trolling is bullying.
My favourite, reassuring quote “You’re far more likely to be a troll if you’re a relative weakling elsewhere,” that gives me hope.
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Susan November 10, 2012
These trolls think they are anonymous. Think about it, trolls. The police are online waiting for predators and they will be online waiting for you. Why bully someone and destroy your own future with a criminal conviction? WAKE UP1
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Margot August 30, 2012
When one thinks about it, is anyone really all that surprised that social media – and especially Twitter – offers a perfect opportunity for the twisted, the angry, the envious, the bully and the plain old nutter to vent their spleen in a public forum? And get away with it. What to do about it is the question. Of course you can block and delete but sometime the damage is already done, as Corinne succinctly points out. I’d be interested to read what other Hooplarians think might be a possible solution.
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VRog August 30, 2012
My heart goes out to Charlotte – trolling or bullying or whatever you want to call it is just not acceptable. Full stop.
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Colin August 30, 2012
Thanks for the article, Corinne. There’s a lot of sense in it. Also for the concession that you don’t know what the solution is – too often we think it has to be ‘this’ or ‘that’, when often it’s not so clear-cut. I read somewhere that there perhaps should be a ‘report abuse’ option on Twitter. It might not solve everything, but it’s a start. Also, the ability to delete tweets that appear in our feeds – at the moment I don’t think there is such an option, but surely we should be able to refuse to accept any tweet we find offensive, and remove it. Best wishes to Charlotte, and to anyone who suffers at the will of those who get a kick from bullying others.
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Shelley August 30, 2012
I don’t know what happened to send Charlotte to this level of despair; neither do I want to. What I do want to do is applaud you, Corinne, for this comeback…and to say you’ve done herself and your friend proud. Standing up to such blatantly cowardly acts like trolling is fantastic. More power to you. And warm wishes to Charlotte for comfort and a quick recovery. it’s not entirely comforting that trolls are ‘relative weaklings elsewhere’ but like someone said when Robert Mugabe was said to be critically ill ‘I don’t go in much for schadenfreude, but in this case, I’ll make an exception’.
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sooz August 30, 2012
Totally agree that offensive remarks make twitter a sadder place for everyone. Grand statements that judge people and hurt their feelings generally cause harm and are often made thoughtlessly. This is a bad thing and nothing that comes first justifies any later bad behaviour.
But it’s complicated.
Good people can also hurt people’s feelings thoughtlessly in the name of a good story or a funny one liner – a lot of knitters felt this about you a few weeks ago when you wrote an article judging us and our trivial ‘making the world nice’ pursuits.
I am sure if you met me you wouldn’t want to hurt my feelings – I’m not a bad person and I can bet I’m not at all like what you think all knitters are. When you wrote that piece you weren’t thinking about me or my friends, just some imaginary crazy knitter lady who couldn’t stand the ugliness of social commentary. But nonetheless you felt fully entitled to not only slag us off as a group but be shocked and surprised when we said we didn’t like being talked about like that.
The internet is a rough and tumble place and its never nice seeing people get hurt and its never nice seeing people being cruel. But if you are going to call out people, judge them, mock them or in any other way belittle them you are inviting a reaction. One person’s funny story is another person’t insult.
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corinne grant August 30, 2012
“Sooz”, As I’ve said a number of times now, it was a satirical piece about council’s response to one form of street art as opposed to others. It was not an attack on knitters. It’s completely untruthful to say that and you are well aware of that fact. I’m genuinely disgusted you would use what has happened to Charlotte as an excuse to start in on me again with this rubbish. It shows an appalling lack of perspective and a profound lack of compassion.
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Riser August 30, 2012
Well said
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Connie August 30, 2012
Dear Corinne,
Thanks for such a heartfelt and well written article. This trolling/bullying – it has to stop. The absolute shame is that while we are educating our children about cyberbullying, predators and stalking, it seems to adults that are involved in many of the recent incidents are that breaks my heart. You would think they’d know better and have more respect! Best wishes and speedy recovery to Charlotte. -
Kelly August 30, 2012
Well said Corinne.
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Carole August 30, 2012
Thank you Corinne for this great article.
Thanks also to Wendy Harmer for not tolerating trolls on this site so we can all have an opinion and not be abused for it. -
Katerina August 30, 2012
I think Twitter needs to take quicker action on a “report abuse” situation. I feel so sorry that Charlotte had to endure that disgusting behaviour and how proud these people are from being blocked by many celebs. So easy for them to hide behind a computer. There are so many things I would like to say about these people trolling but that would mean downgrading to their level. So lets just keep up the support for Charlotte and I wish her a speedy recovery and know their is a lot of support for not only her but anyone who endures this crap.
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Tim Murphy August 30, 2012
Well said Corinne. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so moved by an article.
It is utter bullshit that these so called “people” exist. For as long as the internet has been around they have existed. Be it on newsgroups, forums or mailing lists. Hell I have to put up with one that I know in real life and he is 70+. Age is no barrier.
I can’t quite put my finger on why but Twitter has brought out a more virulent form of troll. It is near impossible to have a well mannered discussion on the #AusPol hash tag.
The thing that bugs me most about the trolls is they now affect what I do on the internet. There are twitter hash tags & blogs I would like to follow and participate in but don’t because the trolls make angry and/or sad.
Dear Trolls, If you have nothing nice to say then don’t say it!
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Mrs BC August 30, 2012
This is a great article Corinne. There must be some way of stopping trolls, it seems to be a cultural epidemic. I wish I had an answer to it, the consequences are tragic.
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Lou August 30, 2012
I thought good on Charlotte when she tried to “out” the trolls. She may have been momentarily beaten but I am sure she will bounce back. How incredibly sad that it had to get to this though. My teenage daughter is on facebook and tumblr. On tumblr you can post anonymous comments so she has seen comments on other girls tumblr blogs saying really nasty and disgusting things. It is a really sad and negative side of modern social media that bullies can hide behind their keyboards.
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Trish August 30, 2012
Well said. The photos that were sent to Charlotte Dawson at 2am while she was alone at night were so horrible NO ONE should see them nor witness them. I saw them at 2pm in the afternoon and was left feeling sick and completely disturbed – still!
I want to remind her (and myself) that 99.9% of people are good, caring warm people.
These sick, disturbing people are few and far between and there is a reason why we choose not to have them in our life.
Social Media breaks that safety barrier.
Warm wishes to Charlotte. Good supportive people are all around. Promise!x -
EricInAdelaide August 30, 2012
Onya Corinne – what more can I add.
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Carz August 30, 2012
While I know the anonymous trolls on Facebook, Twitter and a wide range of forums and opinion sites are the focus of this article I think it pays to remember that sometimes people use their own names but hide behind a public profile to be nasty and bullying. I wish Charlotte well and hope that the internet can be purged of all nasty bullies, not just the anonymous ones.
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Mel August 30, 2012
I don’t know Charlotte Dawson personally nor do I watch the programs in which she appears. Whilst they are not to my taste, there is a market for them so I just switch the channel without a moments thought. Today I read the news of the bile being sent to her via twitter and that she had been hospitalized over night and my heart sunk. I am without words. What kind of disturbed person would do this and that there was more than one has me questioning society as a whole. These people need to be exposed and brought to justice. This is someone’s daughter, someone’s friend, someone’s sister. It is her God given right to live her life in peace. Why do people have to have strong personal opinions on celebrities? If they don’t appeal to you, change the channel. Wishing Charlotte God speed in her recovery and the knowledge that there are people like me out there that whilst I may not follow her professional work, I admire anyone who has the courage to follow their dreams in this cold hearted world of media. The trolls are the voice of the minority.
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Bodie August 30, 2012
Well done, Corinne. Precisely right. The truly disturbing thing, of course, is that this article is necessary – not because it’s poorly-written, or silly, or anything else, but because you would think that any decent human being would recognise what is and is not acceptable. Having said that, we are apparently not dealing with decent human beings.
As an aside, and not the point you were making, but any comment that includes the line “attack on knitters” is likely to make me laugh.
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Tim Murphy August 30, 2012
I’ve now looked at Charlotte’s Twitter timeline. Words cannot describe the crap she went through.
I know it is next to an impossible task but the police should chase those horrendous trolls down and charge them with aggravated assault or similar. How do these trolls sleep at night.
When the boy in England was arrested after tweets to Olympian I thought WTF. I’m starting to think differently.
I know the Australian government has been working on anti cyber bullying programs for kids, they have to broaden it. The government has to make all forms of bullying illegal.
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aussieblonk August 30, 2012
Nice one Corrine, I tweeted CD earlier telling her this scum only has the vocabulary to last 36hrs. It was 15mins or so later I learned of her hospitalization, terrible timing i’m afraid. Let’s hope she recovers quickly & fully, maybe right now there are a few hoping like hell, that nobody finds out it was they, who caused this to happen.
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Harro August 30, 2012
Chin up Charlotte, I think you are lurvley…. don’t let the little minded bastards get you down, My daughter who is a blogger was recently bullied through her site and the effect that this had on her at the time was horrible. Support from others in the social media really helped her, good on you Corrine for broadcasting no tolerance for the childish behaviour shown by others.
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Dave August 30, 2012
Twitter is so limiting. These trolls lurk in a messageboard called 4chan and they don’t care about other people or morals or anything. They can’t be reasoned with and wont feel remorse. They will tell you to kill yourself if you say you’re depressed. They will laugh at you if you get upset by their trolling. They are the worst things on earth and we would neither know about them or have to endure them without the internet. Spending time trying to get through to them or seek responsibility is a waste of time – they truly don’t care and are empowered by the reactions to them.
You may be able to act against someone who did this in real life (which these spineless yellow scum would never do) but on the internet the best and only way to deal with them is to completely ignore them. -
Lexy August 30, 2012
I just read this article and then looked up what had happened to Charlotte. My heart goes out to her. No one should have to tolerate bullying of any kind. I wish her a safe and speedy recovery and hope she manages to draw strength from the many people who admire her and her stance against bullying.
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Char August 30, 2012
Like everyone here I can’t believe some of the things said and done on Ms Dawson’s twitter feed. I am fond of discussion, including disagreeing with someone, but it’s hard to imagine someone saying things like that. This sounds like it’s about more than trolls, so i really wish her the very best. helen Razer put it well when she said that no one can give advice until they’ve had a new one torn by this type of attention.
This isn’t soley about social media, this is also about the hatred and vitriol that gets directed at women, because sadly, it’s not unique to either twitter or Ms Dawson.
The minor example this week was Leigh Sales being called a cow by Graham Morris. He calls men cows regularly! right, when exactly? How is any of this acceptable?Get well soon Charlotte.
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Milorad Ivovic August 30, 2012
It is possible to speak out against bullying, and tell your story WITHOUT giving bullies a stage of ~30,000 and a national TV audience on which to broadcast quotes of their bullying efforts.
Charlotte Dawson chose to promote the efforts of bullies, until it got to the point where they were SIGNING UP to twitter in masses just to get some airtime from her megaphone.
I don’t think Charlotte Dawson gave a single thought to her ~30,000 followers when she chose to retweet the horrific, offensive, vile, and disgusting things which were said to her. Did she as herself how many young girls were following her?
I followed her and I STILL respect and support her, but it became unbearable to watch her make matters much worse for herself and her followers, all for the sake of more airtime to promote her book sales.
Frankly, I’m almost as outraged at her, as I am at the horrible people who attack her. She handled this very poorly, but not because she’s naive and doesn’t understand media… precisely the opposite.
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Collett Smart August 30, 2012
Well said Corinne. I agree that it is a tough issue. Trolls tend to hide behind anonymity on blog comments or any form of social media really.
Like you said, there is no solution to offer other than a plea, as many trolls fall into the narcissistic category. They gain a sense of power through their online persona.
Answering back insights further vitriol but as you say, it doesn’t lessen what the receiver has to go through after the attack, no matter how brave a face they put on.
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Amanda Mack August 30, 2012
Well said, Corinne, and very best wishes to Charlotte.
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Janet August 30, 2012
There is name for people like that- “commenthaters”.
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Alex August 30, 2012
Well said Corinne. Hearing stuff like this makes me so, so sad because Twitter and the blogging world in general have been positive and wonderful places for me personally to connect with so many people I wouldn’t otherwise. I don’t watch any shows she appears in myself but I recognise Charlotte as a positive role model and my heart hurts to see what trolls are capable of.
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Jennifer Jones August 30, 2012
Amazing how many people are glossing over her behaviour earlier in the year, when she caused a furore over her comment that a certain journalist should be killed “will someone please, please do it?” – and then she went on morning TV, where, instead of simply apologising for what was probably a joke (a reminder to her not to try a comedy career)she not only defended her actions, but made light of it with stupid quips about her killer heels, etc. So arrogant and unapologetic in her behaviour. Dawson is not exactly unknown for her social media bullying, yet she is always the first to cry long and loud about how she’s being picked on by the public all the time. She’s such a clear case of a big gob with pitiful self esteem and a dull axe to grind, who takes it out on others regularly. The minute it gets turned back on her, she falls apart. There are actually going to be a lot of people who will opine “you reap what you sow”. Hopefully something positive will come out of this, like more people will buy her new book, er I mean…she will look at a situation she has clearly created over time and realise the error of her ways. You need to get real.
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Heather August 30, 2012
Thank you Corinne for sticking up for the vulnerable.
Sadly, I see this phenomena as ‘human nature’ on display its worst. -
tracylouise August 30, 2012
Nice story sadly the trolls it was aimed will laugh at it and not take any notice may even get them going at you careful ,doubt wth their intelligence they’d would get the point anyway ,only nice people will read it and be moved . l am glad Charlotte has bought this out into the open its given me an insight into cyber bullying that l had not seen before ,l feel very sad that so many people are going through this so thanks Charlotte for educating me and making me aware of what some people are going through and what others are doing on the internet to hurt people. Hang in there Charlotte and get better soon, and good on you Corrine.
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Janine August 30, 2012
Dear Corinne, thank you for a beautifully written article. Other posters are correct- trolling is bullying. Bullying is also illegal and I encourage anyone being bullied to take the tweets, emails or Facebook posts to the police. Twitter and other social media need to take responsibility for their own actions, or in this case inaction in not dealing with these lower than lowest of human beings. While I don’t always agree with Charlotte Dawson, I don’t support the idea that by being in the public eye she opens herself to abuse from anyone. Freedom of speech does not equate to delivering vile comments. This behaviour is NEVER acceptable. Much love to Charlotte, there are thousands who support you. To those who suffer quietly from bullying via social media, please know that you are important and loved.
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sami August 30, 2012
While I agree here Corinne, I’m slightly confused. You wrote an article a very short time ago about an Olympic diver being the target of a death threat via twitter and you thought everyone should take a chill pill. That it wasn’t a big deal. But now it is? Crikey…
Is it possible to block people or delete/report tweets? If not it should be, like on facebook. I’ve always held the theory that if you ignore the idiots they’ll go away and generally they do. But I am also lucky enough to not value the misguided opinions of strangers that highly, nor am I in the public eye.
This all makes me think how most people take insults to heart but not compliments. Many of us would have dwelled on a mean comment from a stranger but shrugged off a compliment from someone that cares about us… humans are strange like that!
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corinne grant August 30, 2012
No, I actually said he shouldn’t have been arrested and that he was trolled himself and goaded into his behaviour by others. I say in both articles that arresting people isn’t the answer.
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Ruby Wildflower August 30, 2012
I’m so upset by this. Charlotte D (OR ANYONE) doesn’t deserve this and I’m saddened. This is the very first day that I’ve been so disappointed by the Twitter community and am feeling lost about where to from here.
I feel comforted by the knowledge that Charlotte D will return healed, whole and STRONGER THAN FLIPPING EVER.
Fantabulous quote at the end Corrine. x -
Merc Goldstein August 30, 2012
When I were a young ‘un I recall ‘Reclaim The Night’ marches that used to take place in Newtown, Sydney, where women rallied to make the night a safe space in which to venture out.
Feels like we need ‘Reclaim The Net’ now.
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Braden August 30, 2012
Yay for Corinne.
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Dom August 30, 2012
I dunno Corinne/ Wendy. I think it’s complicated. Satire can be brutal on individuals too even if its a group you’re attacking. If you dont have a solution and you’re ‘disgusted’ by Sooz’ comment (a reasonable point) then why did you bother writing this piece?
I think Charlotte Dawson also needs to account for why she retweets the trolls when she must know her followers will go on the attack and perpetuate the problem. I think a bit more critical thinking is needed re: trolls. -
Ian August 30, 2012
Dear Corinne, I’ve always liked you (in an entirely performer – audience member way). Today, I like you just a little bit more. Thank you.
Our collective best wishes to @MsCharlotteD
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Lisa Jane Humphries August 30, 2012
Thank you Corrine for showing such genuine and public support for Charlotte. I was in tears when I came across the messages that she was subjected to last night, I was actually a bit spaced out as I read them because I was trying to comprehend who could actually sit and allow those words to flow from inside their head and onto a keyboard. It saddens me beyond words to realise that a fellow human being, walking this very same earth as me made a decision to behave like this.
Reading through these comments I can only suspect (and hope) that Sooze has not seen Charlotte’s Twitter account and does not realise the magnitude of this situation.
Thank you again xx Lisa. -
moldor August 30, 2012
Firstly, I deplore what was done to Charlotte. It is unacceptable in this day and age and those responsible should be held to account in a most painful manner. But…
It’s tempting to say “just block them” and “harden the fuck up, princess” – both effective methiods of dealing with these cretins, and what my father used to say to me all the time before be hackhanded me for being a whimp, but difficult to do without sacrificing that which makes you YOU. A small story (which I hope makes sense and doesn’t bore you to sleep)……
I was bullied mercilessly from Year 5, through to Year 10 – for no other reason that I was a little overweight, liked to study, didn’t want to go behind the bicycle shed for a smoke or a snog, and was generally a pretty boring kid – your typical nerd, some would say.
One day in Year 10 I saw the school bully (who, in later years, ended up on holiday ‘at Her Majesty’s pleasure’) beating up on a mate of mine – one of the few I had. I yelled at him to get off, and he told me where to go and said I was next. Said mate was bleeding from a cut to the back of the head, but from my viewpoint it looked more like he was bleeding from the ear, a sure sign of crainial damage..
I snapped – I can still remember it like it happend yesterday, not 35 years ago. I remember throwing the bully off him and trying to help my mate, then the bully started on me. Apparently, and I don’t remember this specifically, I had him on the ground and was repeatedly punching him in the face, and all through a “red haze”. I knew what I was doing and it felt GOOD. Years of bullying and frustration taken out on this one kid. It took 4 of his mates and a teacher to get me off of him.
He ended up in hospital with a boken nose, jaw and missing several teeth, his parents wanting me arrested and charged – until they found out what their “precious darling” was like at school. It was all dropped and I never had a problem with bullying again.
But it took such an act of violence, something that I scarcely believe I was capable of, for me to deal with it – to the point where I would ALLOW myself to be “bullied” rather than fight back, such was the fear I had that I could do someone real physical damage, as I had done to this kid.
Even now in a confrontation I will back down, and be branded a coward, rather than fight (unless it’s life threatening, or my kids are involved – then all bets are off).
Which is even funnier when you learn that I was assaulted by a Security Guard (a.k.a. Rent-A-Bully) because I yelled at someone to get off her phone while driving, and I am the one that was charged with Common Assault for defending myself (hearing in October, after they’ve had plenty of time to fabricate evidence).
OK – my point is yes, I could have stood up to that bully earlier, yes I could probably have flattened the security guard when he pinned me to a wall, but I do not consider myself a violent person and, although I teach my girls that bullies are cowards who will back down if you stand up to them, I am ashamed that I did not live up to my own advice.
Sometimes ignoring it *IS* the best way of dealing with it – concentrating on who your friends and family are and the people who love you for you, with all your frailnesses and vulnerabilities, rather than fighting back or taking stupid comments to heart. People will always try to tear you down rather than build you up and for what reason ? Because they are JEALOUS, because you’re BETTER THAN THEM and they feel threatened.,
Charlotte sounds like she is much like me – takes people and their comments far too seriously than they need to be taken at times, but that is what makes her Charlotte. To do otherwise would be denying who she is.
What’s the cure ? I have no idea. Do you ban people “expressing opinions”, no matter how much you agree or disagree with them ? Do you block people on Twitter and Facebook, services where even my 7yo could get an account anonymously. Do you get the Police involved, assuming that you could even identify the guilty party. I just don’t know.
What I do know is words hurt, and hurt badly. IF YOU LET THEM.
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Tara August 30, 2012
”And this is the world the next generation is growing up in…”
Don’t forget that WE are the generation that created this world. We can’t be hypocrites about it.
I believe you hit the nail on the head when you spoke of opening Twitter when you’ve had a bad day & it only makes things worse. Everyone has a threshold of stress tolerance. I don’t believe the trolling was the ONLY issue that contributed to Charlotte’s hospitalisation. As we all know, she has many issues, & wears her heart on her sleeve.
Nevertheless, we are no longer allowed open dialogue about this topic, lest it be misinterpreted as ‘trolling’. And THAT is the saddest part of all. -
dave August 30, 2012
I have no idea who Charlotte Dawson is. But maybe she should do something more positive with her time. The problem isn’t the trolls. They will always exist. The problem is people spending all day on on twitter and facebook and expecting to get anything positive out of it.
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Duncan August 30, 2012
What you wrote, Corinne, had to be written, but I fear that it’s the sort of result that the trolls enjoy – it shows that they got a result by upsetting folk. Just like the kids who pull wings off insects, or who tag public buildings, or destroy facilities, or pursue any of a raft of antisocial behaviours that we’ve had to get used to, these trolls delight in the results of their actions. There is no shame, no remorse, only a self-centred sense of a win.
I wish there was an obvious answer to this disease.
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Rhoda August 30, 2012
Trolls cannot be reasoned with, nor do they have a conscience or feel remorse. You are dealing with people who are mentally ill or who have been damaged in some way. They are sociopaths, not bullies.
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dave August 30, 2012
There is an obvious answer Duncan. Try talking to people face to face for a change.
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Jerry August 30, 2012
The problem with Internet trolls is that they crave negative attention. Responding to them feeds their feeling of power. It is easy for trolls to be nasty to others – they think they are unidentifiable (and unlikely to be held liable for their actions) and treat others on the Internet like game characters on their Playstation. The best advise I can offer is: Don’t feed the trolls – report them to their Internet service providers / twitter or the police.
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Jennifer Jones August 30, 2012
touche and food for thought for Miss Dawson. Perhaps she will learn something out of all of this such as to modify her behaviour before lecturing others.
http://www.realityravings.com/2012/08/28/charlottedawsontwitteratt/
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Tara August 30, 2012
I don’t think we’ve had enough time to build up a psychological profile of ‘trolls’… I’m not even sure of its true definition. Am I trolling now because I’m questioning things? Am I allowed an opinion? Is it different to bullying? Or are all bullies sociopaths as well?
Psychology does recognize that bullies NEED reactions & support to continue bullying- there are specific roles within a bullying ‘group’…because its never just 1 person involved.
While I love the term ‘trolling’ because it implies that somebody is sitting there ALONE commenting needlessly on any topic they feel like- or harassing people anonymously from behind their computers, a dog shit by any other name would smell the same.
They are just plain old bullies… I think trolling actually makes them sound more exclusive a group than they actually are. -
Karina August 30, 2012
……spot on Corinne! If you’re guilty of bullying, say sorry and get over yourself! There’s no excuse!
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sara August 30, 2012
I work for a high profile industry and am often amazed at the comments and messages that so called ‘fans’ post to their ‘heroes’. I spent most of this morning assisting one of the people to have fake pages removed from Facebook where someone had posted photos of their family with various comments. Hopefully this get sorted.
People need to remember that high profile celebrities, in any field, are people too – they have families, nanna’s, that read and hear the news. The hurt often directed to a ‘star’ can indirectly impact on a wide range of people.
In any sport, someone might change clubs for example – they might do this for many reasons, sometimes money, sometimes opportunity for advancement – none of the reasons make them bad people – non celebrities will change jobs for many reasons too, sometimes it money, sometimes its opportunities for advancement – ie. the same reasons, but in most cases “normal” people are congratulated on getting on and moving up, this is not the case when people feel the star is being disloyal or are personally affronted.
In 99% of cases, the person writing the message would not think of saying it face to face to the person but because of the anonymity and no accountability of cyberworld, they say the most horrendous things.
In most cases, the sportstars will be young and not necessarily have the coping skills that are expected by general public. Sometimes journalists will write nasty comments about them and their abilities. Getting yelled at while on the field for making an error is one thing, getting abused in the manner of this article, is another.
I dont have any answers to this situation – turn the other cheek, ignore the haters – can be a very hard thing to do, but maybe thinking before hitting the ‘post’ button and imagine receiving the post yourself, should be a start.
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Rhoda August 30, 2012
Tara, I take your point.
A bully tries to intimidate and picks on people who generally won’t/can’t respond in kind. They back down when you stand up to them.
A troll is a different beast. In this particular case it’s a misnomer really because trolls are only there to provoke and disrupt.
Cyberbully I suppose is the better term – vicious, hostile and malicious. Which is what Charlotte Dawson faced. These are scary people – utterly without conscience – which is why I immediately thought sociopath.
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Yvette August 30, 2012
I follow Charlotte on Twitter and am not at all surprised that she ended up in hospital. As much as we all put on a brave face, we are only human and the sort of abuse she got was unbelievable. I was concerned for her a few days ago over what she was re tweeting; but as only a “follower” and not a friend, what do you do or say? I can’t wait for her book and I wish her well. I hope we ALL learn a valuable lesson from this. And thankyou Corinne x
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francine patrick August 30, 2012
I haven’t read anyone else’s remarks so forgive me if I repeat what others say but I say Well Done Charlette! just don’t let these evil people get to you – what you did was brave honey…please don’t let those arseholes get to you – what you did was the right thing. GOOD ON YOU! and fk those trolls that live in a dark room with no life of their own. Hang in there babe – you have a good heart and your friends and family know it:. Best of wishes your way Mrs Tall:)
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Maureen August 30, 2012
Nicely written, from the heart. Thanks. It is tragic that people are so seriously affected by the ravings of unknown lunatics. Social media can be very engaging and helpful to people who are shy of human contact, but it’s a dangerous place if those poisonous humans can creep into your only refuge and harm you there.
My only contribution to the story is to share something that someone told me years ago. Take control of the situation by granting the aggressors permission, in your mind, to be an arsehole. I know that sounds like just ignoring them, but in reality it works. -
Jodi August 30, 2012
When some brave person stands up for herself and for the thousands of others who are being bullied and gets trashed so viciously, it makes you question what sort of society we are living in. In what society do people get satisfaction out of going out of their way to spitefully attack someone, often someone they’ve never met? What ever happened to ‘if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all?’
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David Anderson August 30, 2012
Charlotte Dawson:
“New Zealand is small, nasty and vindictive. It’s a tiny, little village … a tiny country at the end of the earth”
Twitter: Will someone please kill (fashion blogger) BryanBoy
(reports say he took this to heart)Also she rang up someone’s employer in retaliation to a tweet and has got them in trouble.
For a grown adult to react this way to Twitter, to not see it for what it is and know how to deal with the trolls, is indicative that she has emotional problems unrelated to twitter. Have a look at what other prominent twitters such as Ricky Gervais and Jeremy Clarkson get sent and you’ll understand it’s part and parcel of being an outspoken celebrity.
(my real name, for what it’s worth. and I didn’t send her any tweets)
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Jacob August 30, 2012
Charlotte Dawson who has described a critic of Alex Perry as a “sad attention whore”, a “fame whore”, a “Westie scrag” a “suburban fattie” and a “sad ugly moll.”
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Justme August 30, 2012
I was trying to explain what happen on twitter to my husband, who does not have a twitter, fb or any other online account. Maybe it was me,but the more I tired to explain about the way many people communicate, connect and how some people think it is ok to behave online in a way that is and would be totally unacceptable and illegal offline… His continued answer was to say. Just log off, close the account. So I say.. Stop answering the phone, stop checking the mailbox, email. I’d someone knocks at the door don’t answer…. No matter how much I tried to explain that it was my right to check my fb or twitterer without fear or being abused or hurt the more he just scoffed. I have read this article and wanted so much to show him, as it puts everything I was trying to say in a clear message… But I wont show him,… Why, because as much as being trolled on line hurts, it hurts just as much off,
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JoanneH August 31, 2012
I was trying to explain what happen on twitter to my husband, who does not have a twitter, fb or any other online account. Maybe it was me,but the more I tired to explain about the way many people communicate, connect and how some people think it is ok to behave online in a way that is and would be totally unacceptable and illegal offline… His continued answer was to say. Just log off, close the account. So I say.. Stop answering the phone, stop checking the mailbox, email. I’d someone knocks at the door don’t answer…. No matter how much I tried to explain that it was my right to check my fb or twitterer without fear or being abused or hurt the more he just scoffed. I have read this article and wanted so much to show him, as it puts everything I was trying to say in a clear message… But I wont show him,… Why, because as much as being trolled on line hurts, it hurts just as much off,
Justme, I had the same frustrating experience with my husband. We had seen Charlotte on TV the night before, and he thought she was wrong to notify the University – a bit of that old-fashioned ‘don’t dob’ attitude.
He couldn’t understand that these days teenagers, and young women, especially those in rural areas similar to ours, would feel isolated, and disengaged if forced off social media. There has to be a better way to stop the bullies.
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Janet August 30, 2012
I find that trollers have a pathological tendency to vent their own rage and frustration through anonymous hate mail. In fact, we should feel sorry for these poor individuals because they are themselves depressed and lonely. God bless all trolls.
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Jay Harrison August 30, 2012
Trolling has always existed, the internet just add the added anonymity of it.. But here’s a tale from when i was back in school.
If there’s one thing I learnt growing up, it’s that teenagers in general can be some of the nastiest; cruelest; sons of bitches on this here little blue dot.
If you look different; you’re a target.
If You like different music; you’re a target.
If you prefer to spend your free time sitting at the computer instead of sweating it out on the sports feild; you’re a target.
If.. Well lets just say that chances are to someone out there; you’re a target.I use to love going to school. Preschool; grade 1; grade 2… try to keep me away.
And then we moved to Esk. A town that if you let it; would suck you in and devour you whole.
It was your typical small town; ruled over by those that thought their own shit didn’t stink.
Their children weren’t much better.I learnt that as early as my latter years of primary school, when the teasing all started. It was pretty much the same three boys every time. To save face i wont name names though. That all culminated with two of them holding me; while the third let loose a barrage of fists at me.. Why? I honestly don’t remember; wouldn’t surprise me if they didn’t even have a reason…
I didn’t have best social experience during my formative years. High school wasn’t much better; it was less phsyical then the aforementioned encounter. It became mental; emotional. Hardly a day went by when i didn’t hear a snark of spastic; or retard; or some jibe about my weight. Being disabled; well i can’t do anything about that; heavens know that occasionally i would if i could. the Weight; well we both have a hand in that.
I’ll admit, that i’ not innocent in this by any means. Where others resort to throwing fists, i tended too and still do take a different approach; I focus in on something i know will hurt and attack that verbally as hard as i can. It’s a defense mechanism, often used offensively though. As i’m sure some of you can attest to. We do what we can not only to survive; but to come out on top.
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Michelle August 30, 2012
I had to endure the hideous trolls who took it upon themselves to comment on my sister who participated in (and won) The Biggest Loser. I could not fathom their nastiness and disregard for not only their target but also the family and friends of the target. None of these people knew her and staged their faceless assault from the privacy of their home. Friends would say not to read the comments but you are consumed by sibling protectiveness and are desperate to know what’s out there inspite of the trauma it causes you. This is a tragic situation for Charlotte and even I thought to myself surely she knows more people love her than dislike her. But the reality is that the trolls are heard loud and clear and sometimes they drown out the support because that support is not always voiced or written…. People must be accountable for their comments and this situation is the best reason I can think of to legislate against so called freedom of expression where irreversible damage is done.
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Sarah August 30, 2012
While I agree that trolling and bullying is hurtful, unnecessary and wrong, I also think that engaging only encourages it. As they say, don’t feed the trolls. Perhaps shutting down the computer and reading a book might have been a more sensible option that wouldn’t have necessitated a GoodBye Cruel World tweet and the ensuing drama.
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Squally August 30, 2012
Well said. It’s awful. Depression kills and people don’t get that. One good hit on the wrong day is all it takes. You may as well point a gun. The most wonderful things I’ve ever seen come our of a persons life and heart. Unfortunately the same is true if the worst I’ve seen.
I hope she get well and my greater hope is that we all do be. Be better. Want better.
#tweetyoulater
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julie August 30, 2012
It is illegal to threaten or commit suicide in this country. WHile this is a ridiculous law- It should be illegal to exhort another human being to do so. As someone who works on a daily basis with suicidal kids- I am appalled that nothing is being done other than to tell people to block and report! Where is the corporate and personal responsibility here?
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Jerry August 30, 2012
There is a really good article on how to stop trolls http://www.cracked.com/article_16765_5-ways-to-stop-trolls-from-killing-internet.html
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Dom August 30, 2012
For more context on this droll troll business:
http://www.throng.co.nz/2012/08/the-other-side-of-the-charlotte-dawson-twitter-abuse-saga/
Responsibility? Yes please.
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From the inside August 30, 2012
I was there when it happened, both on the website responsible (if you go onto her twitter you can see what website it was- they’re not shy) and watching the twitter feed.
I know why they did it. It’s not because we don’t feel, it’s because she is taking away freedom of speech, just like the author of this piece is trying to do.
We are going to be left not being able to say anything. You think this doesn’t affect you because you’re all such mature grown adults, but it will. You’ll have the police coming around to your house, investigating because you made a comment on someone’s facebook like ‘lol i’ll kill u’.
We are fighting for our freedom.
While it was not the intention to put her in hospital, although it is clearly a publicity stunt to promote her new book (she’s gained over 2,000 followers), I hope you all understand how serious we are about this.
Plus, she was being racist towards NZ, claiming all the abuse was from them, when in all honesty, most of them were Australian or from the UK.
If you just look at what she’s done, she has created free advertising for herself worldwide. She gains so much out of this little stunt, while we only make a small progress.
You should all think about the bigger picture. She is a grown woman. A grown woman who has the power to turn off her twitter and go back to bed, instead of reading and reposting all her comments, to gain attention.
She really is the same as the 15 year old ‘suicidal’ kids who make videos on how hard their perfect lives are.
We want freedom of speech, and will not back down until we have it. Arrests can only go so far. Only so many people can lose their jobs. We will fight back- we will fight back against all of you.
(May I add that I did not participate in the ‘trolling’, and am not held responsible whatsoever for me peer’s actions.)
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Merc Goldstein August 30, 2012
To ‘From the inside’…So the trolls — the cowardly, anonymous, pack-hunting a lone woman in her own house…these trolls reckon they are freedom fighters now. Wow. You are not freedom fighters, you are narcissists with a persecution complex.
There are people in Syria and West Papua who are *really* fighting for their freedom, facing full-scale military assault from their own governments…and you DARE to put yourself on their level. You have so many tickets on yourselves, you could start a lottery.
“Freedom of speech”, huh? I don’t think those words mean you think they mean.
“Freedom of speech” doesn’t mean bullying, intimidation, vilification, threats and rallying an online lynch mob. There’s another more accurate word for what you, oh, whoops, sorry, your *peers*, did: incitement.
And how, exactly, have you preserved “freedom of speech” by intimidating a woman into silence? Like the US army in Vietnam, your brilliant plan is to ‘destroy the village in order to save it’.
Your freedom is not threatened by TV fashion celebrities or a blogger defending her friend in **hospital**. Grow the hell up.
If you value freedom of speech so much, the best way you could honour that is by coming up with something worth saying.
I won’t hold my breath.
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Wendy August 30, 2012
Turn off yr account, tune out go for a run do yoga… Whatever… Stop being consumed by social media
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foolio August 31, 2012
I’m with you Wendy …
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AdvocateForTrolls August 30, 2012
Funny how being labelled a ‘bully’ and a ‘troll’ only matters when you are anonymous. Celebrities who outrightly defame others publicly (let’s use Ms. Dawson in this example shall we?) Get away scott free. Way to selectively target because someone got their just desserts…and happened to be a celeb.
Wow…someone got their feelings hurt by people who the target did not give a care about previously. Seriously…it isn’t a new concept. If you use Social Media…prepare for it. You are naive if you think you can escape.
Oh and by the way, labelling trolls as narcissistic, sociopathic, depressed, sad etc etc….go go generalisation! It amuses me that those who are crying foul about this sort of behaviour are essentially resorting to name calling in return…only in what is perceived to be a more ‘civilised’ fashion. The only thing that stinks more than this ‘Troll hunt’ is the hypocrisy being spouted by the people White-Knighting for a celeb who ran her mouth and got stung.
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Ljs August 30, 2012
It is horrible seeing what it written but scarier to see the difference between those who are just joining in while the chance is there and those who genuinely hate. Unfortunately I think those who cause the most hurt have moved beyond being affected by another persons pain.
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michellerella August 30, 2012
people need to be held accountable for their actions… if we sit by and dont do anything we may as well be saying bullying is ok.
Good on charlotte for taking action.
… i dont think the troll has actually been fired from her job, just suspended. serves as a good warning to others about the consequences of behaviour!
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Nee August 30, 2012
Thanks for writing this Corinne. I was bullied at school for having really curly hair. I got called names and even got spat on. I pretended like it did not bother me, and I think to some extent made myself believe that, but the truth is that it has scarred me in a way that I find very hard to get past and affects every day life for me.
I have a lot of friends, but when I meet new people it is the scariest thing in the world for me because I automatically believe they will not like me. As a result I am not able to be affable with people. In saying that, when I’m nice I’m genuine.
It sux. And I know its because of the bullying but I can’t help it. My fiance thinks its the most absurd thing because everyone DOES like me. I just find that part hard to believe.
People don’t realise that words actually do hurt and you have no idea what kind of psychological affect your words will have on another person. So back to what we learn growing up: if you don’t have something nice to say, then say nothing at all.
Thanks again.
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Stand up August 30, 2012
Project Rockit have a solution, that we should choose to be part of the problem or part of the solution. Stand up for someone don’t stand by and whatch this occur. Report abusive comments on social media and unfriend or unfollow those who make these coments. Project Rockit came to my school and made a big difference!
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Sharon :) August 30, 2012
Thank you Merc Goldstein – ditto everything you said
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Leonie Smith August 30, 2012
Lets not forget folks its “Freedom of Speech” not “Freedom of Hate Speech” Once you cross the line from a difference of opinion into hate speech and threats of violence or enticing threats, you are breaking the law. I don’t think those espousing Free Speech in this case care 2 hoots about actual Free speech, they are simply just bullies out for blood, using that as a cover for inflicting pain on another.
Corrine you are right, as far as I know (as the cyber safety consultant for Community Brave the same group Charlotte is supporting) there is no right or wrong way to deal with Trolls as such, it very much depends on who you are, your standing in the community, who they are and the circumstances. There are some fairly well known approaches that can be applied in general ignore, block ban ext…but in this case where it had all gone to far, Taking down the Twitter account temporarily will have least stopped it from the time being. But if you are in a state of distress that most likely wasn’t possible.
I’ve seen other celebrities online such as Steven Fry, stand up to Trolls on Twitter, and I’ve seen him sign off Twitter in a huff for a few days when it gets too much for him. He’s been on social media long enough that he must be fairly happy with that for now. And he has way more followers than Charlotte, over a Million.
This type of vicious pile-on for some people, including children can become like watching a horror movie, you are horrified but can’t stop looking, same with a a car accident. As the victim you can switch it all off walk away…but you know that its still going on, publicaly your name your brand your reputation is being torn to shreds and you are helpless to stop it once it builds momentum, and many victims almost have a survivors need to NOT slink away and hide.
It’s how you think about it…I suggest particularly to children as a Cyber Safety advocate, to not see it as slinking away but as a show of strength by NOT retaliating by putting up a protective wall…but..having said that. We don’t want to push it underground. Reporting needs to be able to effective, friends need to step in and support the victim not take on the bullies, because it then becomes all out war.
I can’t criticise Charlottes approach I’m NOT her, I’m NOT in her shoes. I believe her heart was in the right place even though I don’t know her personally. Being overly cynical about her reasons and her intentions doesn’t help anyone in this situation.
The problem is that so many are focusing on what she should have done, and if she deserved it, the people that need to be focused on in this case are the bullies, who seriously need to be held responsible for their cruelty. Today it was Charlotte, tomorrow it might be your sister, your son, your daughter.
Twitter needs better reporting tools and yes the ability to shut down @mentions, this is possible on Facebook but NOT on Twitter. Blocking on Blogs and other social media is possible and much easier and it really helps.
How celebrities sort the @nicetweets from the bad I’ll never know, on Twitter the filtering just isn’t that sophisticated. It needs to change. It’s why many of them have a ghost social media manager.
It would be nice if we could appeal to peoples sense of decency but clearly thats unrealistic, some people only stop their cruelty with consequences of loss of money or incarceration.
Corrine is right you don’t know how anyone is going to react to bullying or abuse, if you are a reasonable human being you would never want to be the cause of someones distress regardless of whether the person was mean to others at one time.
Show me anyone that hasn’t been mean to another and hurt feelings and I’ll show you a liar. Dali Lama excepted…
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AdvocateForTrolls August 30, 2012
So…how many of you are Clinical Psychiatrists? Really? You probably lie about your age too. Leave the diagnosis of mental state of other people to the professionals…you just sound moronic.
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LeeAnne August 31, 2012
Well said Corrine. I looked on Charlotte’s twitter page tonight to see what had been said. It was disgusting!
I’ve been bullied and harassed in the workplace to the point of suicide so I personally know how one more comment can trigger the need for medical intervention.
The trolls are cowards, they don’t use their real names so can say what they want without their friends and families knowing how awful they are.
It’s time to care for each other, about each other. Hate has no place in our lives. Blessings Corrine, and Charlotte, I hope with all my heart you are surrounded by loving family and friends. -
MrV August 31, 2012
How can people get so worked up about Twitter, seriously?
It isn’t going to go away, there is no way you can censor the entire internet, at least without sending the country broke. So can’t people just find a proper hobby?
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Sally August 31, 2012
Corinne, This is beautiful. I bawled my eyes out when I read the bit about just because a person is being upbeat & funny posting on FB, how fo you know they aren’t bawling their eyes out while doing it?
Once your sense of self, your very integrity is shattered, it is a hard road to piece it all back together.
Some days work better than others. Some days sleep is the best retreat and healer. Many nights sleep evades.
Love to you Corinne – your words moved me so profoundly. And helped me.
Sally X
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Judy August 31, 2012
A very good Article Corrine. After years of being bullied through childhood I thought adult hood would be better. I started going on the internet some years ago at the age of 40. I found it very hard to deal with one group of people that used the same site as me. All I wanted was some nice friends to talk to and for them to leave me alone. It got to the stage I had a nervous breakdown. I left that site and will never return, but have come across some awful people on other sites since then.
I have toughened up a lot but it still hurts, and seeing what happened to Charlotte brings it all back to me. I have just learned to handle it better now.
What happened to Charlotte was disgusting. Trouble is that a lot of these bullies use cyber cafes so they are very hard to trace. It is amazing how cowards become nasty and vindictive behind the safety of the computer. I hope parents take note of what has happened to Charlotte, because there are a lot of children suffering similar treatment on line from their school peers and other people on the net. Parents please take all precautions possible if your child uses the net. I am not asking you to take away their privacy, but may be it is better to have the child use the computer in a living room in the home and not in their room with a closed door. Keep an eye out for any strange behavior from your child.
As you can see, this happens to both adults and children. Children have less coping skills than adults. I wish you a quick recovery Charlotte.
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Christopher Donohue August 31, 2012
Corine, good on you for your post. What is interesting is we now have places where bullying is “codified” enabling society to pull up the “trolls”.
It is a terrible what has happened to Charlotte, which I can relate to as I was continually bullied a lot a school and abused at home, then bullied at earlier job roles, all because i was different or had different unique experiences to others.
What many people fail to realise is power of words can impact and trigger your emmotional state, especially as you get older.
Today I still do not get this society where people abuse others and say hateful things. It is actually deplorable.
I make a point due to being bullied never to say nasty things about or to people. But I still get singled out in society as I am a geek and do not fit the norm. These words (even in gest) that peolple say hurt so deep that they impact on ones well being.
These events now that they are codified via Twitter, etc and made newsworthy will help in time, change society for the better I hope.
I think everyone should be mindful of what we say and how it may impact on someones well being. Charlotte’s experience is a perfect example of what can eventuate and reminds me that I am not alone in my own personal struggle with depression (even after years of therapy).
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Sonia Simone August 31, 2012
We need to remember to report abuse *whenever* we see it, whether it’s directed at us or someone else.
On twitter, the link is https://support.twitter.com/forms/abusiveuser. If you can’t remember the link and can’t find it, block the troll and report them for spam.
We all need to work together. The bigger our audiences, the more of these people come out of the woodwork. But they are a minority and a systematic blocking/reporting campaign will turn off their microphones.
Don’t respond to trolls and for heaven’s sake don’t retweet them. Block and report. Every time. We need to pass the word.
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Christopher Donohue August 31, 2012
Corrine, lovely post.
I have found a few responses by some and also in Twitter about Charlotte a bit insensitive. I do not watch TV and do not know the history of Charlotte’s unkind words to others. But as she has previously identified that she has suffered from depression and to recieve calls to hang herself etc via Twitter, it would be very challenging to ignore and more than likely trigger some negative emotions within her, thus making unfortunate judgement calls to retweet those terrible posts. I am not for jobbing people into their employers either awful tweets that some people post, but then again that is why social media policies exist and should be adhered to.
I do not know Charlotte, but I do know that when you are in an emotional state or suffer depression, having any negative comments made towards you can trigger an adverse reaction to your well being. Having suffered bullying at school as a child and child abuse at home, plus other signifcant trauma, negative events or words can be more amplified thus reactions can occur. These things and depression cannot just be got over with, they are burdens many people live with including me.
We should all be mindful of what we say about each other as we do not know what impact it may have on the recipient.
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Steve Matthews August 31, 2012
I sympathise and have told my daughters that if this happens to them I shall cut the cord to the computer. Why did she not just tell everyone she was sick of the bullying and deactivate her twitter account
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Vicki August 31, 2012
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Matt August 31, 2012
I tweeted Corrine and Wendy last night wishing Charlotte a speedy recovery. I jokingly said to Corrine, in the spirit of being nice to people on social media maybe she could finally say something nice about her obsession, Tony Abbott.
Corrrine’s responses taught me 3 things.
1) it’s tough to convey sarcasm and wit in less than 140 characters
2) Corrine doesn’t like it when you quote her back to herself
3) When comedians say nasty things they are only being humerous and we should all accept that apparently.
Now not for one minute did I suggest that the coordinated attack on Charlotte by a bunch of potty mouthed trolls was equivalent to an attempted satirical article by Corrine Grant. But given Corrine’s reaction to my tweet it has given me pause.
In this article here Corrine states; ” When you are cruel to another human being for a laugh, or to make yourself feel powerful, or to impress your friends, or simply because you enjoy it, you have no idea what effect you are having on that other person.”
Given Corrine’s OTT reaction to my tweet, calling me abhorrent etc one wonders whether Corrine is prepared to practice what she preaches. Wrapping comments up under the guise of satire does not excempt them from impacting on other people.
So I agree down with Trolls. That’s a no brainer. And we all wish Charlotte a speedy recovery. I hope she unplugs from Twitter for a while.
But seriously Corrine, it’s a bit rich to write this article asking us all to be nicer to each other, then unloading on your readers who dare to challenge your words.
I can honestly say I meant no offence by my tweet and I apologise if it upset you. It wasn’t designed to do so.-
corinne grant August 31, 2012
Matt, there is a big difference between political satire and telling someone to die. You conflated the two. I am rather uneasy that people are using the ‘no trolls’ argument to vindicate a ‘no humour or satire’ argument. Humour and satire are not the same thing as intentionally trying to do another person harm. It’s mischievous, and yes, abhorrent, to use what happened to Charlotte as an attempt to stop comedians or anyone else, criticising a political point of view that differs to yours. I understand it upsets you when I criticise Tony Abbott because you tweet me about it. Often. However, I am entitled to a different political point of view. As are you. Disagreeing with the principles of the Liberal Party doesn’t make someone a troll.
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Shepard August 31, 2012
Thanks Corinne. I don’t know how to deal with it. But as someone whose family has a history of depression and suicide, I just cannot comprehend how people can say such awful, awful things to another person, like telling them to kill themselves or sending them images of dead bodies. There’s no joking around there (it’s not like telling someone “I HATE YOUR WORK”- that is sending the message that they want that other person dead. If they said that stuff in real life, how would communities respond?
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Fiona Lake August 31, 2012
Corinne I do hope you will also encourage those who make a living by making others laugh, to resist the easy way out of getting laughs by making nasty comments about others. That includes people in public life such as politicians, royal family members, sports people, celebrities, etc. No-one deserves to be made fun of in a nasty way and people in the public eye also suffer from depression etc, sight unseen. Nasty, mean jokes from comedians encourage others to view this sort of humour as acceptable and I believe part of the blame for the view amongst many that trolling is acceptable can be levelled at those who make a living by making others laugh.
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Matt August 31, 2012
Excellent post!
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Benison O'Reilly August 31, 2012
Most trolls seem to do so anonymously, or else use pseudonyms. I’m of the belief that if you offer your opinions online you should be prepared to ‘own’ them and use your own name. It teaches you to be more circumspect and respectful, regardless of whether you agree or violently disagree with the blogger/tweeter.
If you comment/tweet under the veil of anonymity, it suggests you are conscious that what you are saying is socially unacceptable. If that’s the case, how about just not saying it.
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Jen Politis August 31, 2012
There seems to be “Freedom of Speech” in this country only if it fits a narrow politically correct (left-leaning?) band; only if it adores, protects, hangs of every word of and pampers so-called celebrities; and as long as there is “lesser entity” to lay the blame on who it is then acceptable either individually or corporately to ‘harshly correct’, ie. mercilessly attack, or as you might more correctly consider it: ‘bully’: (take your pick depending on day/topic: ‘trolls’, ‘bogans’, ‘Twitter’, ‘Tony Abbott’, ‘and all those other pesky people I label bigots when they don’t agree with my narrow viewpoint’) or in the case of these comments ‘those who aren’t sucking up and agreeing wholeheartedly without reservation about what this blogger says’! But of course this must be Hate Speech because I have a different opinion to the Blogger… so do I now deserve to be bullied into silence? I guess that would be acceptable bullying then? And we wonder why this bullying business is so darn tricky to eradicate?
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Katie August 31, 2012
Actually I think ignoring trolls is the best idea. If people get no attention for doing something they tend to desist. It eliminates the payoff.
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Marnie August 31, 2012
I may be old fashioned but the rule of self preservation is If something is hurting you ….don’t use it. Twitter is an instant gratification tool – an obsessive bad habit used by those that have developed a need to speak and be spoken to constantly.
If Twitter is a problem because you can’t regulate it – don’t use it. There are so many ways of communicating these days – use something you can control. It’s not rocket science. -
Ginger August 31, 2012
This just reinforces for me to never have a twitter account!
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Merc Goldstein August 31, 2012
To Matt, Sooz, Jen Politis: Hey, wanna know a secret?…This Isn’t About You!
The article headline is “Dear Trolls…”. So unless you are a troll, it isn’t about you.
A woman was bullied to the brink of suicide by trolls less than 48 hours ago. Can you drop your own issues for like, 30 whole seconds, to focus on that?I know something that might help you to understand the difference between what Corinne is talking about, and your own hobby horses : Let’s play the old Sesame Street game called One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others:
*cue Sesame Street music…*
Three of these things belong together
Three of these things are kind of the same
Can you guess which one of these doesn’t belong here?
Now it’s time to play our game (time to play our game).—–
a) Having a public disagreement with someone online.
b) Sending someone a snarky or lecturing or moralising tweet.
c) Making someone the focus of jokes in a stand-up comedy routine or satirical post.
d) Bullying someone to the brink of suicide.
—-Lollipops for the correct answer!!
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Matt August 31, 2012
Hey Merc. You’ll have to help me out here. Where did I say “this is all about me?” All I did was wish Charlotte a speedy recovery and ask Corrine to play nice too..
By the way unless you are her Doctor I doubt very, very much you have any insight into Charlotte’s state of mind at the time so please tone down the hyperbole for just a tad. Just wish her a speedy recovery and stop playing the hero.
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David Anderson August 31, 2012
People get their cues (guides) from the environment around them. Charlotte’s example and articles like this are normalizing the extreme reaction to online bullying, or rather nasty words on their computer screen. See now when people are called names on the internet they’re more inclined to throw their hands up and declare themselves “one of them”, the tragic bully victim who, if they’re true to the stereotype, goes mental and perhaps even practices self harm in response to the digital insults. This is particularly true where someone like Charlotte is concerned because she was presented as the expert on this subject, the role model to follow.
On a related note, notice how just about everyone was bullied at school now? People like to feel a sense of belonging – which they do, as members of the Bullied Club.
In Japan there’s been a phenomenon where people get together in groups for the purpose of committing suicide. They do it because why? Because other people are doing it.
Shouldn’t we instead try to normalize the sane rational response to words on computer screens?
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Naomi Candlin August 31, 2012
Thank you so much for your well crafted and sinser words. My oldest son was being bullied last year by a boy in his class. Because my son was physically larger/ taller than the other child his teacher did very little to curtail this child’s behavour. It wasn’t untill this child pulled a knife on my son (not in school) and the school was informed that this child was moved away from my son. – up until this point the said child was sitting next to mine.
Thank you again for your words. I have always enjoyed seeing you ‘do your thing’ . :0) -
Merc Goldstein August 31, 2012
Matt the frequency with which the words ‘I, me, my’ appear in a post is a pretty good guide…do a little word count on some posts and you’ll see…along with your non-apology apology…(here’s a couple hundred words of prevaricating and rationalising of why I did what I did…oh BTW sorry…)
If your sole intention, as you claim, is to offer good wishes to Charlotte for a speedy recovery, that takes like 8 words…and has been dwarfed by hundreds more in which you are explaining and qualifying and justifying yourself. That ratio of self-justifying-words-to-stated-intention reveals where your head’s really at, whether you realise it or not.
Meanwhile, David A. the attitude that you (and Midnight Blue) seem to be ‘normalising’, as you put it, is that anybody who is vulnerable, has a moment of weakness, or just finds they can’t cope for a split second, can be justifiably condemned for letting the abuse “get” to them.
Since you’re so iron-clad convinced that people have absolute control over their reactions to abuse — why aren’t you equally confident that people have absolute control over the decision NOT to abuse? Why isn’t the onus on the perpetrators to stop themselves? (And if you don’t believe that perpetrators can stop themselves, then our control measures have to become a whooooole lot more heavy-handed than just curtailing abusive speech…it means we have to find these people and lock them up away from their computers…otherwise they’ll be unable to stop themselves abusing more people…)
So, which way you wanna solve this?
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Matt August 31, 2012
Wow, just Wow. You really are a veritable keyboard super-hero coming to the rescue of the weak and innocent. But nonetheless thanks for your critique of my own opinion. I know precisely the meaning of the sentences I post and my original posting was not a long justification of my actions as I have done nothing wrong.
You on the other hand should really apologise to the rest of us for attempting to use the word ‘prevaricating’. Was that really necessary?
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shell August 31, 2012
@MidnightBlue victim blaming much?
Clearly you are ignorant about how internet bullying and abuse affects people. Internet bullying happens to real people, some are famous some are not.
Bullying, harassment, and abuse is illegal in Australia. If you went up to someone on the street spat in their face and said “You should hang yourself” or any number of the trolling remarks. (Rape threats, death threats etc) It would be more than offensive, it would be criminal.
“Freedom of speech” does not exist in Australia. We have an “implied freedom of speech in common law” that freedom does allow you to verbally attack anyone you don’t like. Freedom of speech allows you to criticise the government and not be thrown in jail.
There is a massive difference between Corrine writing a satirical article about Tony Abbott and verbal abuse in the form of trolling on the internet.
Anyone who defends a troll is part of the problem.
Don’t feed the trolls is not a solution. It is an acceptance of something that is abhorrent and should not be tolerated in our society.
“Be nice on the internet the world is a small town”
Trolls will be found. It is just a matter of time.
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shell August 31, 2012
*not
“Freedom of speech” does not exist in Australia. We have an “implied freedom of speech in common law” that freedom does NOT allow you to verbally attack anyone you don’t like.
Sorry about the grammar mistake!
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Serin August 31, 2012
Early exposure to the internet- mainly in writer’s groups- taught me to only get involved in heated discussions when I was feeling resilient and to just simply delete those that were not , let’s say, my cup of tea.
Bullies only survive if you give them air and reaction- something I learnt when I was young.
I do hope Charlotte and others that feel hounded and overwhelmed by this senseless type of bullying, and that she gets in a good place and gets strong and resilient. There have been these crack pots since the start of time- they just have a much bigger platform these days.
Just don’t give them the air- it is really that simple and don’t absorb their transference of twisted pollution into your own psyche.
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Samantha August 31, 2012
The problem is, they don’t care. These people do not give a shit if they hurt people or not. They live in their own little world and hurt people they don’t know because they are shallow and no doubt, lack self esteem. I mean, why else put people down without a care for how it makes them feel?
It makes them feel “big”. And if making someone else feel “little” is the thing that they like, the thing that makes them feel powerful and tough and they think it’s hilarious, well, they are not good human beings.
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Julie Wright August 31, 2012
I have not read what was said to our Charlotte, but whatever was said to push her to a point where she is hospitalized must have been incomprehensible. Normally I am not a black and white person, but on bullying of any kind, I have absolute below zero tolerance.
I do have the solution. When someone is pushed to her or his limit where they are hospitalized and reaching out for help, then we do have the technology to find these anon small minded cowards. Prosecute them and jail them. Don’t umm and aah, just do it. That is all I have to say on the matter.
Charlotte my girl, you will overcome this and come out stronger, of that I am certain. You have lived, evolved and contributed so much to others. Power to you darling girl and we will see you soon. -
Merc Goldstein August 31, 2012
MidnightBlue, trolling is the problem. As Corinne correctly pointed out, if your priorities are so badly messed up that you choose to spend your very limited and precious time on this earth deliberately seeking to hurt and harm other people, then there is something wrong with you.
There are only two possible morally correct ways we can deal with trolls. And it depends on whether the trolls are capable of stopping their trolling or not:
1) If they can stop trolling, and choose not to, their anti-social behaviour deserves censure and ostracism as a social penalty and, if it causes harm to another person, it deserves legal penalties.
2) If they can’t stop their trolling, then like gambling addicts, or heroin addicts, or child porn addicts, or other uncontrollable compulsive behaviours, then they need to be physically prevented from engaging in the behaviour and if there are effective forms of therapy, they need treatment too. For their own good and for the good of the innocent people they harm through their behaviour.
Simple and accurate.
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RobynMarie August 31, 2012
Jennifer Jones you are nasty. Charlotte Dawson does not deserve what happend to her. Everybody needs to play nice.STOP SAYING SHE GOT WHAT SHE DESERVED. LEAVE HER ALONE!
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ButBergkampScoresOnTheRebound August 31, 2012
A few months ago, Charlotte Dawson tweeted “will someone please kill Brian Boy please please please”. She passed it off as no big deal and appealed to people to stop taking things so seriously. Now this happens and she has to be taken to hospital? She’s just a disgusting, hypocritical bully. Has anyone watched Australia’s Next Top Model? She is absolutely horrible to those girls. Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it Charlotte.
Also Corinne, ignoring trolling DOES make it go away. What are they going to do if you don’t respond? -
Joel September 1, 2012
I felt sorry for her when I read she had been hospitalised but also just read that the day she was admitted she then went out and did an interview with 60 minutes now I am feeling manipulated by her.
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Susan September 1, 2012
My prayers go out to Charlotte, I hope she feels better soon. Your still a strong woman, don’t let them win!
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Merc Goldstein September 1, 2012
Midnight Blue, your position is internally consistent within its own terms of reference, but it is objectively untenable because your position is based on two mutually contradictory beliefs:
Belief (A): Trolls “cannot be changed” and “will always be there”.
Belief (B): People who are attacked by trolls can choose to ignore them.Your belief (A) is predicated on the notion that people can’t control their behaviour, and are unstoppably predisposed to do certain things.
Your belief (B) is predicated on the notion that people can control their behaviour, and always retain the capacity to choose the wisest and best course of action.
–The reason you stand accused of ‘victim-blaming’ is because you are holding the victims to a higher standard of conduct than you are holding the perpetrators. You are insisting that the victims must exercise control (ignore, switch-off, don’t engage), but you are giving the trolls a free pass to behave badly (you assert that trolls won’t stop their bad behaviour and can’t be expected to…).
However, beliefs (A) and (B) are mutually contradictory. They cannot both be true. If you believe that (B) is true, then you must also believe that trolls (who are, after all, in fact human, we assume) also have a choice to control their behaviour enough to stop trolling.
Your beliefs place the responsibility for the crime on the victim, because your beliefs assume that only the victim has agency, and the attacker has none. That’s victim-blaming.
For as long as you continue to hold victims to your very high standard of insistence that we always have a choice and can always control our own behaviour: yet you wave trolls through and insist that “trolls will be trolls” –> well, you might as well get used to accusations of blaming the victim, ‘cos that’s what you’re doing.
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Kate . September 1, 2012
Social media can be a trap. It’s fertile ground for trolls and other kinds of bullies. The person referred to in this article is an adult, even though fragile, and could have known how better to handle the offensive posts. What advice did she get from her friends? Did they try to advise her to stop reacting?
Maybe, after this experience, she will decide, like many others, that she needs, deserves and can have better ways of being with people.
I left Twitter because it’s a brittle, fragmented place. The 140 characters you’re allowed are not enough for worthwhile communication. Twitter has particular potential for superficial nonsense and profound nastiness.
Corinne, your post might make you feel better by expressing your frustration but it won’t stop the bullying. It might help your friend to have such a public expression of sympathy and perhaps that is worthwhile. She might be better off out of Twitter, however and out of a profession which makes her so vulnerable to nutters.
One of the few good things about Twitter is the speed with which you can get information. And it can be great for existing friends to keep in touch, and for people with similar interests to network.
It can also be a compulsive place for grand- standers, lonely people, voyeurs and bullies.
Weighing it all up, I decided to leave. Y’know what? It was a great decision for me. Peace again
. For many of us Twitter is just not the best thing to belong to. I feel compassion for young people for whom social media is seemingly an essential part of life. They often don’t have the knowledge, resources and resilience to manage the awful things that can happen there.
I’d like to see more ‘celebrities’ and public figures saying that they don’t belong to Twitter of Facebook and the like. Nick Xenophon is one. He’s a hero of mine
. -
Dr Brent Coker September 1, 2012
I’m A fellow kiwi living in Australia. I’m also an Internet Consumer Psychologist. This story hit hard.
Here is a blog post I wrote about this issue in general: Why Cyber-Bullies do what they do, and how to stop it.
Please share if you or someone you know has also been affected. This has to stop.-Dr Brent Coker
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Kate . September 2, 2012
Catherine Deveny says all that needs to be said in today’s ‘Age’ newspaper.
Of course, people have to learn by their own experience and we’ll no doubt go through all this again.
If you choose to swim in the sometimes grimy waters of swamps like Twitter you have to learn to protect yourself.
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Cath September 2, 2012
So well said Corinne.
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Kate . September 3, 2012
I watched the 60 Minutes interview with Charlotte Dawson last night and felt sympathy for her. Anyone the subject of such intensely malevolent energy as she experienced needs support and friendship.
Such projected malevolence doesn’t go away; It floats around for ages and you really do have to protect yourself in the short and long term. However Ms Dawson does that is her choice and responsibility. I hope she will be all right.
I don’t feel much sympathy generally for ‘celebrities’ per se. Attention is what they seek but I doubt that some of them really expect or deserve the deliberate malevolence that can be directed their way.
This episode had impact on me for a number of reasons. Personally I’ve experienced threats in a previous work role and the impact can be dreadful. It wasn’t cyber bullying.
Secondly, this episode reminded me of the virulent projections our Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, has to weather on a fairly regular basis. It all makes me wonder what causes this kind of hatred and abuse at fundamental levels in our society.
The ‘mobbing’ in which it often seeks expression is fairly scary stuff. When it occurs at media level it is really concerning. Social media or conventional media – neither is exempt from these practices.
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Greg September 3, 2012
I don’t like the public figure of Ms Dawson, but in saying that I don’t know the real woman and would never think it is remotely acceptable to target and threaten a person in such a way. I agree with her stance on anti bullying and wish her well.
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melissa September 3, 2012
I am so over the bullying. just today my son got his phone ripped out of his hand and thrown in the bin. and because he retrieved it from the bin, the bullies threw a chair at his head, not once but twice. then called him names until he had enough and ran out of the room crying. there must be something that can be done to stop this. it’s not just cyber bullying that is dangerous to kids. it is getting worse. there needs to be more encouragement for people to not only stand up to the bullying but let them know that it is not acceptable. maybe some sort of name and shame may sotp it…. who knows. you are in my prayers Charlotte. and thank you for bringing light on this subject.
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Laurel September 3, 2012
If you want ‘freedom of speech’ From The Inside, i suggest you take this up with Parliament. Australia has no Bill Of Rights and thus we have no express right of freedom of speech under our constitution. I hear this expression bandied around constantly as somewhat of a cover or a defense or an outcry, which actually just makes me laugh because we,legally, don’t have the right in Australia at all. The closest we have to it is an implied right of political communication which,evidently,only allows us some level of freedom of speech on political matters.
So really, before you get on your soap box and start claiming you are fighting the good fight to protect freedom of speech you might want to consider that Australia is not America and our legal system doesnt even afford us this right in the first place.
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Nicole October 22, 2012
I agree with your article in principle. I hate trolls and the damage they cause. Bullies are the scum of the earth.
I do have to point out, however, that Charlotte herself was a bully/troll a few years ago, bullying and harassing a teenage girl online because that girl called Alex Perry a C**T and made up a derogatory facebook page about him. Charlotte, Alex and friends joined the group and continued to level all sorts of abuse at this girl. Being an adult, Charlotte should have known better than to fight with a child and then get her friends to help. It’s such schoolyard mentality.
I am perplexed by the attention Charlotte has received as a victim of bullying. I can only hope that this experience has shown her how awful it was for that teenager when the roles were reversed.
I am glad that Charlotte now appears to be standing up against bullying. Maybe she regrets what she did to that teenage girl and perhaps she has had a change of heart about the nasty things she says to the young contestants on her show?
Call me a cynic, but it just sits weirdly with me and I can’t help but see her as hypocritical. Nobody deserves this level of bullying, not even Charlotte, but I think there are better ‘faces’ of anti bullying campaigns to be had.
I always love your work Corrine. You’re fabulous writer, comedian and advocate for women. Thanks for another well written and thoughtful article. xx
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ro.watson December 28, 2012
Syllogism.
A sociopath,
is someone,
who does not care for,
or with,
others,
and,
as a consequence,
a sociopath,
is a bully. -
gencomnla.org January 3, 2013
Ur article, “DEAR TROLLS, ASK YOURSELF THIS…” was definitely worth
writing a comment down here in the comment section!
Simply just wanted to admit u did a fantastic job.
Many thanks ,Autumn -
http://tinyurl.com/seve-8153950062 January 9, 2013
U truly produced a number of wonderful ideas throughout ur article, “DEAR TROLLS, ASK YOURSELF THIS.
..”. I may remain coming to ur blog before long. Thanks -Christopher -
http://tinyurl.com/primcane07671 January 17, 2013
I actually blog as well and I am writing something comparable
to this post, “DEAR TROLLS, ASK YOURSELF THIS.
..”. Will you mind in case I actuallywork with several of your personal suggestions?
Thank you -Penni -
Katelyn April 8, 2013
Here’s an idea people; IGNORE IT. Do any of you people understand what an internet troll actually is? Or are you all 30+ years old and taking some internet trend started by 12 year olds seriously? Cyber bullying is easily fought; all you have to do is resist the urge to make an immature comeback and turn off your damn computer. People are so damn soft these days.
