THE DATING PROJECT#15. RSVP
Plenty of action this week, with Eloise out on her very first internet date. And Lou Lou negotiating a second encounter with the strange and slippery Man#7 – and quite a wrestling act that turned out to be.
But Astrid is taking time out because real life is just too hard at the moment. That’s just fine. She’ll be back with the team when the dust settles.
It’s not always so easy for the three women to find time for dating each week, let alone to write about it. So now that we are well into the third month of the project we’ve decided to change the format a little. After this week we’ll only bring you updates from the girls’ adventures when there’s real action to report.
That will ease the strain on the team and make sure the project remains fun for all concerned and entertaining for our readers.
So here’s Eloise:
Stop the presses. I’ve just had an RSVP date! And already he’s announced he’s taken his profile down. What is this? Does this mean we’re an item already? Help, not sure how to deal with this.
To begin at the beginning the date went really well! I had had the morning from hell for various reasons and as I was frantically blow-drying my hair and deciding what to wear, I was thinking “What am I thinking? Going off to meet a strange man in this state?” I managed to brush these thoughts aside, concentrating on putting on my makeup, which I always find a very calming ritual. I was running late (appalling behaviour on a first date) but I texted him and he was OK with that. So with a lot of deep breathing I set off, dressed in jeans, a flattering coat and not too much lippy.
I didn’t have unrealistic expectations on the looks front – having been warned by Bettina about this. However, I was pleasantly surprised – he looked better than his photos.
My choice of venue (Art Gallery) worked on all fronts. I felt protected by the low lighting, his nerves settled down and we had something to talk about other than ourselves to break the ice. At times he would come and find me “Come and look at this!” or we both would shrug at some mind-boggling, endless video. I was also aware that it gave him a chance to observe me without me having to ‘perform’.
Next we moved on to coffee. I felt very easy in his company, which is good because I have rather a lot of stress going on in my life right now and wasn’t feeling too relaxed. One of the reasons I had decided to meet him was that when we spoke on the phone he somehow felt familiar and we laughed a lot – a good vibe that was also there when I was with him.
He then suggested a walk in the Botanical Gardens, as he used to go there when he was a child. Various landmarks became a sort of tour guide to our past, with him telling me about his memories of being with his Mum and siblings in the park and taking me to a tree that he used to take his kids to when they were little. I took him to my favourite haunts.
Information gathering from both of us was effortless. By the time we left, I knew plenty about his parents, his siblings, his kids, and his past relationships – as he did about mine, although I admit I may have been a bit more circumspect.
I didn’t feel that he was trying to impress me, in fact quite the reverse. He seemed authentic and really keen. By the time he suggested dinner I ended up declining because I felt he was a bit smitten and I need to take my time. I was also exhausted as work is grueling right now but we’re meeting for lunch next week and I am looking forward to our next date. But I must say I was thrown when he told me he’d taken his profile down. Tell me, all you experienced internet daters, what do I do now? Is it ok that I keep looking – just in case?
As for Mr Foxxy from NZ, I am unimpressed by his lack of communication. Hardly any emails or phone calls. When I did call I was greeted with “Hello, my darling girlfriend” but when I mentioned that I’d appreciate a phone call, the response was, “I’m a boy! We’re notorious for not keeping in touch.” “Man up!” I say. Not interested in boys – particularly 60 year old ones. On your bike, Mr Foxxy!
Bettina says: Yes, I know how awkward it can be when a date immediately announces he’s taking down his profile. There’s such an expectation that you will do likewise. And you can bet your bottom dollar that he’ll be keeping an eye on your profile to see if you are still active (although what makes the whole business rather confusing is people can appear to be still on the hunt when all they are doing is saying ‘thanks but no thanks’ to unwanted kisses.) It’s not easy. But I would love to hear what our readers have to say about this sticky territory.
Rob says: Sounds more like a well-choreographed ballet than a first date. I can definitely understand why your suave suitor wanted to take down his profile after returning from your romantic get-together. I have the impression that he was enchanted by your warm and gracious manner as your date unfolded. It’s much easier for a man to share himself openly and authentically when a woman is oozing effortless self-confidence. Lovely work, Eloise.
Now for Lou Lou’s latest adventure:
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