Maggie Alderson is a novelist, journalist, columnist, fashionist, blogerist, Twitterist and motherist. She has published six novels and four books of columns, edited four magazines and four newspaper sections, has columns in two newspapers, one blog, one daughter and at least twelve pairs of Prada shoes. Follow her on Twitter @MaggieA and www.maggiealdersonstylenotes.wordpress.com, the S section of the Sun Herald and M in the Sunday Age and all good book shops. And most good shoe shops.
- Very moving. Everyone I know who had done this has been touched by it. - Jo
- Wonderful. I always ask myself will someone die if I fuck up? Will it matter in 3 months? And who fucking cares? Works for me. The swearing part is important apparently. ;-) x - Michaela C
- Our focus on women and children and their difficulties ignores the elephant in the room. Where is the father/partner in this equation? Where is the support, financial responsibilty, active participation and general parental sharing by partners/fathers? Where are they all? Why has the focus on women and children left them invisible and unaccountable? Is it because we don't expect men to take care of their responsibilities, or is it too hard any issue to deal with? I fully acknowledge that there are many exceptions, including death of a partner, abuse and violence, and other diverse reasons, but is there no way we can broaden the debate to include the responsibilities of partners/fathers? Just a thought. - Nel Matheson
- Can we please clarify that not all single parent families were moved from PPS to Newstart - only those who were grandfathered by the Howard government when they brought in the changes many moons ago. It was Howard and his cronies that singled out and privileged a group of single parents, allowing them to recevie more than anyone in similar circumstances who didn't benefit from the grandfathering, or never received PPS in the first place (Not everyone's marriage ends before their youngest child turns eight). While I don't believe that Newstart is sufficient to live on and raise children easily I am very much against this focus that has been placed and what is in reality a small group of people. How about fighting to put everyone on PPS or to increase Newstart rather than just a few. - Carz
- Well spoken, Vanessay. I cringe when I hear people go on about single mothers. As if it's only the mothers who deserve the social stigmatization and the husbands, boyfriends, partners don't. And as if the two parent family is so perfect. As if no two parent family lives off the taxpayer or eats junk food. But more important than the social stigma that attaches itself to their children is the poverty that disadvantages them and how it can be transmitted to the next generation. Many single mothers are close to the bread line and that's not good enough. Do we want them on the street? How would that look? It's no better than kicking someone when they're down. Un-Australian. - Rhoda
- I was just going to comment on the same thing! I worked on my first Apple computer in 1989, aged 20 - and they have the hide to say over 40 is too old to learn? We've "grown up" with computers too - they just can't do the maths. - HellB
- We give aid to overseas countries to strengthen the education of women and female children so that future generations in those countries are not raised in poverty. The single most important factor contributing to low birth rate is education, yet we defund single mums in our own country so that their education and that of their children remains at a low level thereby perpetuating the poverty/ young mother cycle. Three stories from my life. Mother A became a single Mum when her husband was killed crossing the road at work to get his lunch. Mother B became a single M um when her husband was stung by numerous large ants while at work (anaphylactic shock) and Mother C's husband said "goodbye, I love you, I'll see you tonight" and got on a plane, flew interstate and texted her to tell her he'd had enough. That Mum has 5 kids, one with a disability. Furthermore, the waiting rooms of the oncology and specialties dealing with kids with disabilities like autism at the Children's Hospitals are full of single Mums whose partners have "had enough". There are also women and children who will lose their lives because they are too afraid to leave abusive situations because of the this constant putting down of women who access benefits and fear that they will not be able to survive on the benefit if they are able to muster the courage to leave. These are the mums these government decisions are hurting, not the VERY few Mums who think they can keep having kids to keep getting benefits. People who are determined not to work will always find a way not to work. The whole thing is demeaning to single parents and to women in our "advanced" country. - vanessay
- Great article. Regarding Newstart and the $35 a day question - I have experience of living on this and came across this equally relevant blogpost regarding the topic - http://50shadesofunemployment.blogspot.com.au/2013/01/australia-on-35-day.html - Antonio
- Jack, sorry had to laugh. Now where do I start. Are you saying the UN should take on China, India and the rest and play policeman? How? With guns or a rolling pin? No man is an island. The earth has to be shared. People migrate or flee their country of birth for any number of reasons and have been doing so since they discovered the world wasn't flat. Before that even. Tightening border security correspondingly attracts criminals into people smuggling. Because they can make money out of it. Economic migrants needs a legal channel to enter this country and the quota needs to be the number that deters illegal entry. We are lucky that geography prevents immigration en masse. There are only so many planes that can land immigrants in one year and so many boats that can land on our beaches. And it's a long walk across desert from the Kimberleys to Sydney and Melbourne if they did. You're safe Jack. - Rhoda
- Mmmm. When I turned fifty, I received in the mail: Depend samples, a Lifeline keyring, and of course that bowel cancer detection kit. From telemarketers, how I love those calls asking me to consider the purchase of a funeral plan. When I pick up the phone I live in hope it's a job interview request. But no - more often it's the funeral plan. On TV, there they are again. Those lovely ads starring "us oldies" promoting: dentures, more funeral plans, more incontinence pads - it goes on. What we need is a federal politician (non-gender-specific) to make a long and tearful speech about age-discrimination. The higher profile of the politician, the better. That way it could go viral, just like that popular speech about misogyny. Ad campaign sorted. I wait in hope. - Hilary
ON THE HIGHWIRE PROFILE
Maggie Alderson
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DO YOU STILL SHOP TILL YOU DROP?
No, for these reasons: 1.My daughter is quite young and demands a lot of time and energy formerly used for shopping. 2. Over the years of the non-stop shop I built up deep resources of bags, shoes etc and just don't need any more. 3. Most of all, I'm worried about what will happen to all the Made Stuff in the world. There's just too much of it and it's always growing. HOWEVER there is one area of shopping I still indulge in without feeling inhibited by any of the above: second-hand junk shopping. I still shop till I drop in flea markets, op shops, garage sales, junk shops etc. And I give away a lot on Freecycle and to op shops, keeping it all flowing around, so everyone can enjoy the pleasure of the hunt with no new Made Things involved. This makes me happy.
WHAT MADE YOU HAPPY THIS WEEK?
Choosing my hat for Ladies Day at Glorious Goodwood today. It's the most glamorous day on the British racing calender, much chicer than Royal Ascot. The race track is set in the most amazing landscape in West Sussex on the estate of the Duke of Richmond and has amazing art works scattered around. Even the parade ring is supremely elegant . I've decided to wear a Frederick Fox hat I've had since the 1980s (quality lasts...) and I'm putting a punt on a horse called Boogie Shoes. 12 to 1.
TV. WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING?
I don't really watch television any more... is that terrible? I don't know if my attention span has been shot by Twitter, but there's very little that holds my attention. If people rave about something on Twitter, I watch it on my laptop when I feel like it, or buy the box set. The only thing I look forward to is American Idol and X Factor which I watch with my daughter.
WHO WINS YOUR PRIZE FOR AUSTRALIAN WOMEN’S WRITING?
I prostrate myself at the feet of Helen Garner. I worship her economical style. She makes me shout with laughter and wince at her honesty. The Spare Room has pride of place in my special shelf of favourite books. The other writer who makes me speechless with admiration is Lily Brett. Interestingly she has a similar balance of biting intellect, honesty to the point of pain and belly laughs to Helen Garner. They both take on massive subjects, combining intensity with a lightness of touch that dazzles me. Worship worship.
SO, WHAT’S YOUR IDEA OF SEXY?
Confidence. I think that's the sexiest thing of all. Not loud mouth, smug, over confidence, but the quiet inner kind. People who sit comfortably with themselves.In men, a deep rich voice is very persuading, but above all - funny. Men who make me laugh instantly look like George Clooney to me.
WHAT’S YOUR MOST-TREASURED COOKBOOK?
I am a Stephanie Alexander Cook's Companion obsessive. Like Charlotte I have the original orange binding, so splattered and battered like an old war house, but I have the fabulous new version pristine on a shelf as well - just in case. I love the format by ingredients - I can look up whatever's in season and read her scholarly intro, then lots of ideas from trad to rad. I love the little side column 'Goes with...' which gives you great ideas. It is also the best technical How To cook book I have. I have learned to make souffles, meringues, risotto and pastry from this book. If I can't find what I want from Stephanie, my order is Nigella, Nigel and then Katie Stewart, which is an old book of my mum's.
DO YOU SUPPORT VOLUNTARY EUTHANASIA?
I feel very conflicted about this. For people suffering from terrible degenerative diseases that leave them wracked with pain and stripped of their dignity, I do see why people need this option. I think people should be allowed to make this decision for themselves. But I'm tormented by the ways it could be abused. People being co-erced by subtle means, or taking an 'easy way out' in a desperate moment. It's fraught with questions, but in the final analysis, though, it must be up to the individual.
IF YOU COULD STOP PEOPLE FROM DOING ONE THING…
I'd stop people buying "liquid soap" in plastic bottles, which use oil to make them and then clog up oceans and landfill when they're empty. What's wrong with a bar of soap, sitting on your sink? It sends nothing to landfill. Even the paper it's wrapped in can be recycled. Join me in boycotting liquid soap!
WHEN WERE YOU THE ‘HEIGHT OF FASHION’?
When I was a punk rocker in the late 1970s. I spent my pre-uni gap year in London working in an advertising agency by day - and going to see bands all night. I saw everyone from the Sex Pistols to Blondie, it was fabulous.
I can't remember what I wore to work (they didn't mind my punk hair, but baulked at the full rig out...) but for what I considered my real life I scrimped to buy all my clothes from Vivienne Westwood and Malcolm McClaren's shop Seditionaries. It was amazing.
At the time I didn't think of it as 'fashion'. My Seditionaries clothes were all about rebellion and being part of my punk tribe. It was many years before Vivienne would become the international fashion legend she is now. I still looked at Vogue - I loved the ideas in fashion - but I didn't wear those trends.
I still have my bondage pants - although I'll never fit into them again - and my offically obscene 'Cowboys' t shirt, which I was arrested for wearing in Clapham High Street in 1977. It features two gay cowboys wearing no pants - just their chaps. I was sentenced to six months conditional discharge (like a good behaviour bond).
I really regret selling all my other Seditionaries stuff - including my silver penis earring - when I was broke at uni.
So although I wasn't really 'in fashion' at the time, retrospectively I couldn't have been wearing anything more cutting edge.
SEEN ANY GOOD MOVIES LATELY?
I only went to see The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel because it had Bill Nighy in it and I would happily sit and watch him read the phone book for two hours. I wasn't disappointed, he's heaven from cheek bony head to lanky toe throughout it. But the great treat of the film turned out to be Maggie Smith. I'm so sick of watching her be a snobby old cow on Downtown Crabbey it was great to see her play a below stairs character - and hilariously. She does wizened posh bitch so well, she's been rather stuck in a casting groove, and you can see she had a great time flexing her acting muscles with this role. This film won't change your life, but it will give you some belly laughs.
WHAT ARE YOU GRATEFUL FOR?
I'm grateful that I've lived to see the women's movement emerge as a tiny
> radical group - that literally changed the world.
>
> There is still a way to go - women still don't have equal pay - but when I
> remember how things were for women when I was 18, in the late 1970s, it's
> incredible how far we've come.
>
> To give one small example, my first boss (in an advertising agency) expected
> me to sit on his knee while I took dictation. I refused, but the fact that
> it was OK even for him to ask for it seems incredible to me now.
>
> So while women are still appallingly repressed in other countries the
> distance we've travelled in just a few decades is so amazing it gives me
> enormous faith in the fundamental good of man - and woman - kind.
WHAT’S YOUR POP CULTURE FAIL?
How long have you got? I've missed so many cult TV series, I feel like I've been living down a hole. The problem is that where I live I just can't get a certain satellite TV channel - I've tried so many times, but there is nowhere they can put the bloody dish. NOT FAIR!
It means I don't see a lot of things everyone is chatting about on Twitter until they are on DVD and it's just not the same, limping along behind. When I did finally get my hands on the first series of Madmen I made myself nauseous watching them back to back. I've never seen a single episode of The Killing and feel so left out.
I love the weekly dose of my obsession, when I can watch them 'live', seeing it for the first time with everyone else. When the first series of True Blood was on me and my best girlfriend would talk on the phone in the ad breaks, it was so fun.
In the same vein I'm just about to buy the first series of Game of Thrones on DVD. It won't be the same, but it's better than missing out completely.
THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
As well as crucial life skills such as how to wear leopard print, how to dance the twist and how to hold a champagne glass, my mother taught me something practical that has informed my entire life. Always to Put Things Back.
Her nagging used to drive me nuts, but now I have become her parrot, trying to drum the same discipline into my daughter. Decide on a place for everything and always put it back in that place and your life will be glide on oiled wheels.
It's driving me potty doing it, but I won't give up the nagging until the morning comes when my daughter is no longer chasing around the house trying to find her hairbrush or - worse - using mine and leaving it somewhere random.
LOVED THE BOOK, HATED THE MOVIE!
My worst was I Capture the Castle. One of my all-time favourite books and now I can't get the image of the terrible wig they put on the actress playing Rose. It was heinous.
There are quite a few books I think are better as films - all the Harry Potters, Out Of Africa (swooooon...) and Bridget Jones' Diary, in particular.
Then there are the ones where I passionately love the books and the films: Gone With the Wind and Pride and Prejudice (the Lawrence Olivier version).
LOVED THE BOOK, HATED THE MOVIE!
Oh - I would add the wonderful Nora Ephron's Heartburn to that last category. The book and the film are both favourites.
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST JOB?
My first experience of employment was as a waitress in a dreadful pub. I was 16 and terrible at it. But I got some great character material from the customers - some so nice, some so nasty - and the people who owned the place.
They had a terrible spoiled son who used to sexually harass me and my best friend, who was the other waitress. One day we found his clean undies in the room where we changed into our 100% bri nylon uniforms. We ironed them using liberal amounts of spray starch in the crotch area.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN A GOD?
Good to see you are keeping it light, this Monday morning, Hooplarians... Yes, I do believe in a 'higher power', God whatever you want to call it. I don't think this power created the universe in a anthropomorphic sense and it clearly doesn't steer us in any direct way, or there wouldn't be so many terrible things going on in the world. I haven't found an organised religion that reflects the way I feel about this belief, without complicating it with a lot of stupid rules and dogma, which always lead to people falling out. But when I look at the beautiful things in the world (cue John Denver music) I just can't believe there isn't a higher power. I also believe fervently that there is an afterlife, but that's a whole other conversation... (ps next week can we have a question about say, Roger Federer's legs?)
YOUR GUILTY TV PLEASURE?
We only have one TV in the house (deliberate) and between my husband watching sport and my daughter watching DVDs I don't get much TV time. So I download series to my iPad and watch them secretly in bed (current favourite: Modern Family, sooo funny). But at the one time of day, just after dinner, when I do get half an hour in front of the big telly the only thing that ever seems to be on is Come Dine With Me... I have grown to love it.
HELP! I’VE GOT TOO MANY…
Evvvverrrythinnnnngggg. My house is so cluttered it's driving me mad. I just can't throw away anything that might be useful like padded envelopes, slightly used tissue paper, plastic shopping bags, elastic bands, bubble wrap. I've even got too much 'dry goods' in my pantry. I had a big clear out earlier this year, but there's still crap everywhere. So I've been planning to spend the next couple of weeks having a big chuck out, but the time is already getting eaten up by other things. - and having too much clutter slows me down. I wish one of those TV shows would come in and do it for me...
MY MOST MEMORABLE MEAL
I've got to have two. One was a lunch hosted by Krug champange at Tetsuyas, back when it was in the funny little terraced house. We had a different champagne with every course, culminating in Clos de Menil which made is from grapes grown in one tiny little walled patch of vines. They only produce a few bottles a year. With the exquisite wine, the food and Tetsuya's amazing collection of porcelain to serve it on, it was a sensory magic carpet ride. My other unforgettable meal was on a beach in Portugal. A fisherman was grilling some fish on a rack over a bucket. My boyfried of the time, who spoke the lingo, negotiated for us to have some. They were small sardines cooked with a few herbs eaten off a tin plate, with some rough bread. The most delicious fish I've ever eaten.
WHAT DO YOU COLLECT?
How long have you got? I've been collecting junk from op shops, flea markets and jumble sales since I was 11. As a result I've got extensive collections of jugs, glass candlesticks, old tea sets, large serving platters and blue and white china plates. At the moment I'm trying not to buy anything as my house is so cluttered, but if I spotted a really good willow pattern plate in an op shop it would be hard to resist. It's like an illness, but it does mean I can host a lunch party for 40 people and have all my own crockery. Then there are the vintage silk scarves, handbags, shoe trees, bangles...
HOW DID YOU GO IN YOUR EXAMS?
I'm a freak who loved exams - I was much better at them than I was at staying interested in my day to day school work. I would have been rubbish if continual assessment had been involved in my day. The adrenaline rush and short deadline of a three hour exam inspired me and even when my knowledge was, shall we say, patchy... I'd find a way to work the two facts I knew into a cogent essay. It was the perfect training to be a newspaper reporter...
HOW DO YOU SLOW DOWN?
I'm very very bad at slowing down. I'm too scared to stop and I feel guilty even watching TV. The closest I get to it during real life is when I get on sites like this, or Twitter, and fool about. The only time I ever really stop is by going on a proper holiday with a pool and sun loungers. If I can lie by the pool all afternoon in the shade, reading, with my iPod plugged into my ears, after about a week I start to slow down. The first three days of such a holiday I'm usually doing multiple loads of washing and reorganising the accomodation. The only other thing I stop for is reality TV. Saturday night with X Factor is mandatory with my family.
WILL YOU SHOP ONLINE THIS CHRISTMAS?
Last year I bought about 40% on line and was able to get some really great quirky things. I love how the internet opens up the whole world of shopping, rather than traipsing round hundreds of shops and hoping to stumble across fun things - but this year I'm not so sure I'll be using it so much, for moral reaons. There has been a lot in the media in the UK recently about online companies like Amazon not paying tax in the countries where they do business. Then I got a receipt from iTunes and the company address was registered in Luxembourg and it made me very cross. There is a point where pursuit of success cross over into greed and I find that very unattractive. So I will shop online, but I'll try to do it only from companies which pay tax in the countries where they do the majority of their trading.
I REALLY DON’T NEED ANY MORE…
Like everyone else, my house is full, my life weighed down by material objects. I don't need another thing, but I do love the ritual of giving and receiving presents. In this spirit I only give things that are to be used up up - lovley soap, delicious smelly bath smelly unguents, body lotion, scented candles, chocolates and my current obsession, nail varnish. One of the best presents I've ever had was some amazing silver polish from Nantucket. Every time I use it, I think of that friend - and best of all, it's nearly finished.
THE MOST MEANINGFUL GIFT I’VE EVER RECEIVED.
From time to time my dad would randomly arrive home from work with a book for me. Something he'd read about in the paper, or just seen in the bookshop, which he thought I'd like.
One day, when I was about 18 he brought me the Concise Oxford English Dictionary. No particular reason, he just knew I'd use it and love it and need it. In the front he'd written 'To the future famous author from her adoring father' - even though I'd never had a word published at the point, apart from in the school magazine...
Five years later he died, just before my first article ever was published in a magazine. So he never saw any of my work in print, but I like to think that somehow he knows. On days when I'm finding it hard to make the words flow, sitting alone in my little office, I get the dictionary down off the shelf and read his inscription. It means the world to me.
THIS IS MY CHRISTMAS
My sister has done a hilarious Christmas chart modelled on the one Miranda's mother does in the TV show, with an hour by hour schedule of the events which are our family's unchangeable rituals. We're spending it at her house in the English countryside and it will be dogs, wellies, mud, roaring fires, a massive tree, roast goose, crackers, silly hats, ages from 1 (the youngest dog) to 90 (my mum). The whole classic works. Snow would be good.
The chart is on our fridge and my daughter reads it out a least once a day, starting with: 'Christmas Eve, decorate tree. Open books.' One of our family traditions is that everybody gets a book on Christmas Eve - cleverly introduced by mum when she had four hysterical children to deal with.
Christmas morning, after opening stockings in bed - everybody gets one, even the dogs - we always have scrambled eggs with smoked salmon and champagne. And it just gets better from there really. There are a couple of bracing walks, sporting new hats, scarves, gloves etc, but mostly it's eating, drinking and opening presents. There's no time to watch TV.
We dress up for dinner and after it we play games - me and my sister are stupidly competitive at Trivial Pursuit - and fall around laughing. Then it's a matter of digestion, which can take several days. Hic.
Happy happy Christmas x