Corinne Grant

“[What I find frustrating is]… when some celebrity mummy blogger types seem so convinced of there [sic] own superiority and authority when commenting about some very complex political and financial issues without having any actual experience in those areas. Corinnne has been extremely critical of the gov. on everything from immigration, budgets, healthcare, you name it. But I don’t believe that her celebrity background (Dancing with the Stars, Spicks & Specks, etc) necessarily makes her an authority on any of those topics.”
– Nick, The Hoopla comments


Dear ‘Nick’,

You have been adding comments to a number of my articles of late, claiming that I should be dismissed as a professional opinion writer because I am a ‘celebrity mummy blogger’.  I suspect this is an important issue to you and there are probably a great number of other female writers who irritate you just as much.

Anyway, I just wanted to congratulate you for finally pointing out the elephant in the room.

What would someone who has worked in television and has the ability to bear children know about politics, or anything at all for that matter? It does seem to be quite a leap of logic to think that a woman who has worked as a performer for 20 years could possess even the slightest level of intelligence.

As for the work I’ve undertaken as an MC and interviewer for countless functions for corporate, legal, academic, arts and human rights outfits which require the specialist skills I’ve developed – maybe that wasn’t me up there.

intelligent woman working on her laptop

I am either thinking of someone else or suffering from false memory syndrome.

The claim that I know stuff is further undermined by the fact that, when I was first offered a job on TV, I had to undergo neurosurgery to remove everything except my brain stem before they’d put me in front of the camera.  (There really should be an investigation into that. They do it to all the lady television people. I’d write the story myself, but as I no longer have a left or right hemisphere, the task is beyond me.)

The scariest thing of all is that I know heaps of other women who are claiming (obviously falsely) to have all manner of skills, experience and tertiary qualifications.

They keep insisting that they not only have a right to an opinion, but that their opinion is intelligent and informed.

For example, I think that because I am currently undertaking a post graduate law degree, that proves I have at least an acceptable level of intelligence.  However, it clearly means nothing of the sort because I am a lady from the telly. There needs to be a Royal Commission into how I got into the course in the first place.

It’s truly shocking that men such as yourself need to waste so much of your valuable time searching the internet for female writers in order to write them lots and lots of comments about how dumb they are.

I don’t know how you find the time to fit your internet campaign in around all of the other things you must do as a contributing member of society.  You must hardly ever sleep!

If us girls gave up having public opinions or writing professionally, you could go back to having a full and rewarding life.  I feel terribly guilty about that and if it wasn’t for the fact that I am nothing more than a barely functioning brain stem, I’d probably have the good sense to stop.

I only have one nagging question: where are my kids? 

You state (no doubt correctly) that I am a mummy blogger. This is a really awkward thing for me to admit, but I don’t remember ever writing anything about my children. In fact, I don’t even remember having any children.

comicI’d love to find out when I had these kids, what I wrote about them and where I’ve put them.  I’ve checked all the cupboards and they don’t seem to be anywhere.

Could you check into it for me please? I understand this will mean doing a bit of research before making your next bunch of assertions, but I’m hoping, just this once, that as a favour to a brainless little lady, you’ll help me out.

Yours in anticipation, heartfelt thanks and sincere apologies for all the trouble I have caused,

Corinne Grant  

PS: I didn’t write this myself. Hahahaha! That would be ridiculous.  I drew a big picture of a rainbow with a bunny on it (and I ate one of the crayons–whoops).  Then I gave my picture to a man and he turned my picture into words. I wish he’d mentioned something about the bunny though.  I drew it really good.

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