DANCE LIKE NO-ONE’S WATCHING
School holidays are upon us here in NSW and after spending the first week sitting around looking at my two kids, and them looking back at me, we were ready for a road trip.
You know, when you have to have a change of environment to reboot. Reboot your brain, reboot your relationship with your kids and reboot the need to make the most of the takeaway options of a small seaside town down the South Coast.
Kids are packed to the rafters in the car and me and my mate Ness are in the front. We have the obligatory packet of jelly snakes which we intermittently hand back over the seat to the kids in the back, to reward them for good behaviour.
For bad behaviour, we throw one out the window. I know. I am saving for their therapy.
I stumbled across a really cool and daggy radio station who offered us some auditory wonderment with such examples as the Bee Gees, The Proclaimers, Bon Jovi, The Eagles, AC (zig zag symbol) DC and Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody which we sang at the top of our lungs, while hollering at the children to listen to us sing every word.
It was during this that I insulted Ness by saying that she looked just like my mum whilst driving and singing. And this was because she was making up the words and doing the “Old lady shoulder shrug”.
The “old lady shoulder shrug” is done like this, when standing.
Place your feet about 50cm apart and bend your knees slightly. Now hold your arms closely to the side and stick your hands out like a penguin. Next, move your shoulders up and down with the music and laugh a lot. Like my mum does. It is awesome entertainment. Even better at Christmas when the movements are enhanced by a bottle of riesling.
It is the complete opposite to the “Awkward Man Dancer” who shows no joy in his movements.
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17 Responses to this article
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Katerina July 11, 2012
Disco Diva all the way – proud of it not sure but love it. Its 8:30am and you have just inspired me to put on me music and act like a nut, my kids will definitely disown me now. Oh well 2 less mouths to feed, I wish them all the luck.
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Janine Fitzpatrick July 11, 2012
My daughter calls my husband’s attempts on the floor “the potty dance” when he stands in the one spot, swinging hips and arms. She regards it as tragic when either of us take to the floor.
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bigwords July 11, 2012
My husband is renowned for dancing on tables and chairs at numerous pubs around many cities. I once found him in the DJ box with the headphones on attempting to scratch out some tunes. I miss those days. xx
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Michelle July 11, 2012
I love it when I get the opportunity to embarrass my kids – esp son #3 who’s 15 & cringes anytime I ‘mum dance’ (his description, not mine)… I prewarn him whenever I get the chance to ‘boogie’ – love it, don’t care what the kids think
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Penny July 11, 2012
Ahhh Mrs Woog. The Flashdance high kick to the BBQ is still up there with my favourites. Think I have a chipped bone floating around in my foot, but it was worth it. Oh, and so was the groin strain.
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Roni Jean July 11, 2012
I used to think I looked really sexy, fuelled up with a goodly amount of alcohol, dancing my own brand of ‘interpretive dance’ complete with wavey arms in the air and performing the occasional low bend while waving my butt provocatively, confident in the knowlegde that my control briefs were making me look at least 2mm smaller (and that my circulation would return after I took them off, hopefully). That was until at one particular Christmas work function when my male dance partner and work colleague decided to get into the spirit of my gay abandon and mirrored my movements. It was very sobering… literally. I still dance like that, just not in public.
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Aeron Winters July 11, 2012
I always dance like no one is watching…always have. I have even been known to break into a dance or at least a little shimmy-hake-hip-wiggle in shopping centres and department stores when the right music comes over the load speakers. Life is short and I plan on enjoying it.
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Helen July 11, 2012
I’m a Disco Diva cross Belly Dancer. Several years of BD lessons ages ago and I think I still have ‘it’ when the right music comes on. Any dancing is great exercise so just do it!
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kim at allconsuming July 11, 2012
I am the Elaine Benes of the dance floor. It is simultaneously alarming and disarming. Chef is the man on which Awkward Man Dancing was based. I have been known to stop my reflex-inspired leg kicks to marvel at a rather large man moving to a song clearly not being played by the Moby Disc.
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KayO'Sullivan July 11, 2012
My favourite move, the one that transports me to age 17, is shaking my head all around as if I’ve still got long hair that reaches to my waist. My kids hate it. But that’s not about to stop me. I reckon dancing is the answer to most of life’s cares.
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The Huntress July 11, 2012
Total non-dancer here. I’m very serious about the music, but I will always be found propping up the bar, chatting to bar staff, progressively getting drunk and talking to strangers.
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Jo Johnstone July 11, 2012
I embarrass my husband by trapping him into a dance in the kitchen that alone while in company on a dance floor! Who the hell does he think is watching???
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Maree July 11, 2012
I recently read “I danced like no one was watching, my court date is set for next week” ha ha
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Cherie L July 12, 2012
Gay Abandon eat your heart out. Especially after a couple of margaritas. My dancing is circa 70s and 80s. Beware the pogo-ing and flailing arms. I am such an embarrassment but I have SUCH a good time doing it. Hehehe. Love dancing.
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Spooky July 18, 2012
I love this saying….
“Love like you’ve never been unfriended, dance like your photo isn’t being tagged & tweet like nobody is following.”
