WHEN I WIN THE LOTTERY
When I was a kid, Mum won Lotto.
I was beside myself and ran around telling everyone who lived in our cul-de-sac to make the most of living next their nouveau riche neighbours, because we were about to go and live on Easy Street.
In my head, I had already moved to the fancy part of town, a few suburbs over. We would have a swimming pool, a double storey house and half a dozen ponies, perhaps even a whole zoo. Plus we would definitely be getting rid of the lime green Toyota Hi-Ace. I suspected we would upgrade to the popular Nissan Bluebird. All the fancy families had one, and goddam it, I WANTED IN ON THE FANCY!
The dream house Mrs Woog’s family didn’t buy when they didn’t win the lottery.
The streetlights flickered on, signalling for me to head home. I bade my former neighbours farewell, for I would most certainly miss them, and went to find the hero of the day: Mum.
I started talking to Mum about my upward ascent in the social pecking order when she informed me that wehad won the lotto.
We had won $20. And I had to go and get ready because we were going out for Chinese to celebrate.
One pink lemonade later, and all was forgiven.
Winning the lottery. Is it all that and a bag of prawn crackers?
British man, Michael Carroll famously collected his win, equivalent to $15 million Australian Dollars, in 2002 wearing an electronic monitoring tag. 8 years later, the former garbage man collects the dole, having blown his fortune on drugs, gambling and prostitutes.
The year 2002 was a great year for Lotto Winners! American Andrew Whittaker (right) won $315 Million. Over the years, that massive fortune was whittled down to nothing due to gambling and bad deals.
His daughter and granddaughter both suffered from fatal drug overdoses. Whittaker now claims that he wished he had torn that ticket up.
And then there is Callie Rogers, who was just 16 years old when she won $3 million in the UK Jackpot. Callie spent years spending up on drugs, partying, new boobs, properties, cars, holidays and gifts.
She had two children, whom she lost custody of, and attempted suicide.
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