A TRIO OF TALES…
After ten years, my partner and I separated.
This in itself is not a new or remarkable story, but when he came to tell me one month later that he was going to marry a Vietnamese woman more than half his age (he’s 61) and planning to have children – I was gobsmacked. It immediately raised a lot of questions, like: Are you for real? How long has this been going on? Are you nuts? You fool!
Then I went to Thailand for a holiday and saw loads of aging, balding, paunchy, unattractive Western men swanning around with beautiful young Thai women and I realised that this is a really common course of action for the older man.I wondered as I watched these men – no eye contact- just who is exploiting who?
And this got me to thinking. Is SE Asia awash with aging Western men of questionable character and shaky morality? What is it about these women that Western men find so attractive? I can see that they are young and pretty – is that the only attraction?
Aging men have always lusted after young flesh. This I can understand – I find the smooth skin of young men equally attractive. But women don’t seem to act on it to the extent men do. Are these women obedient, compliant -at least in the beginning? Is it that the older Western women are too feisty? After all, women of a certain age, well we don’t put up with much crap. We can’t be bothered and we don’t have to please anyone, finally.
What a relief.
And who wants to have household of babies at 60? You must be joking. I adore babies, but going back to intense parenting and sleepless nights? No thank you. I drank a bit and muttered a bit and then I began to see the gift in all of this.
Now, at nearly 58, I had an opportunity to make of my life what I wanted. I have had my children, so I don’t need a man for procreation and protection. I earn my own money, I am healthy and fairly strong… wait a minute… I thought, this could be really, really good. I don’t have to look after anyone, make dinner for anyone, organise my time and socialising around anyone… oh yes, this could shape up very well….
So I started doing some things I had been putting off.
I joined a ukulele club. I bought a new car without being told what to buy. I planned an overseas holiday with a daughter. I rearranged the furniture and threw out a whole lot of stuff. Gee it felt good.
And when former partner called to talk to me , I said good luck chum, but I can’t talk, sorry I’m busy and I’m getting ready for a trip. I could hear a baby crying in the background.
Oh poor him.
It took me a while but I made it to a place where I can contemplate a life unencumbered. I may have another relationship, I may not. What I will have is an interesting life, free to do what I like if I have the courage and daring to seize the day. All I can say, ladies, is watch this space…
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