TOP 10 WAYS NOT TO NAME A BABY
Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof has given birth to a son named Astala Dylan Willow Cohen-Geldof.
The father’s name? Tom. From the band S.C.U.M.
Congrats to the proud parents.
Incidentally, when interviewed about it on Australian radio, Grandpa Geldof had this to say: “Yuck, gawd, that is still the name. I’ve been begging them to change it.
“What’s he going to be called in school? Ass? Stella? It’s a girl’s name, let’s face it.”
Naming your child is one of the greatest privileges you’ll ever have in life. Sometimes it seems parents just can’t handle the responsibility and their brains implode.
Take my mother (please), who tells me that she became so overwhelmed with the possibilities that eventually she took my name from a knitting pattern book.
“I was knitting this lovely little three-piece layette named ‘Wendy’ when I was pregnant with you and I thought, that’ll do,” she tells me.
I’ve always disliked my name. Pity my father didn’t win out with the name he wanted which was Claire. It would have been wonderful to have been named after my beloved Great Aunt.
As the author of the Pearlie in the Park series of fairy books for little girls I’m often graced with a queue of tots adorned with pink sparkly wings and tiaras all clutching my books and waiting for a signature.
This is a wonderful thing, so why do my palms get sweaty?
Because I know I’m in for a giant helping of alphabetti- spaghetti.
There was the gorgeous girlie with a mop of angelic curls who lisped, “My name’s cashmere”.
OK, I thought… soft, cuddly, warm. Like the goat. Noice.
“Ka-sh-im-ere”, spelled her mother. My brain went to mush as I asked her to kindly repeat that.
I’ve seen littlies howl with indignation when I’ve had a stab at “Ashley”, only to be told it’s Ashleigh, Ashlee, Ashly, Ashli, Ashlea, Ash-Lea, Ash-Leigh, Ashe-Lee…or… Arrrrgh-leee!
I feel bad when I get it wrong – even as one uncivilised part of my brain is saying: “This is only the first of a life-long string of disappointments, kiddo. Get used it.”
By the time I get to Kaitlynne, Aidin, Matheau, Maddisen, Shawn, Kaylib, Raychul or Alissia I’m starting to gibber.
After an afternoon of Mikkayalas, Kayleighs, Katlynns, Kmyberleighs, Jorjahs, Jemmers and Cassidees, I’m a blubbering mess.
With six billion people on the planet, it’s hard to find a way to make your offspring stand out from the pack.
But may I kindly suggest that giving your kid a weird name isn’t one of them.
There’s a test every parent should take. How’s it going to sound when they become Prime Minister?
(Although, with “Mitt” a heartbeat away from becoming Leader of the Free World, this is probably useless advice.)
Here’s my list of things you shouldn’t do when you name a child (ditto for getting tattoos).
No child should go through life suffering Post Traumatic Naming Disorder.
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196 Responses to this article
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Deborah Tait April 23, 2012
Totally agree about Debbie. Nothing worse as an adult being called by a name that suited a three year old. Evokes Debbie Reynolds as Tammy in flouncy skirts and bobby socks.
My favorite was hearing parents call their son Ace. Then there were a run of Tysons from fathers who wanted their sons to KO others in the ring. And of course not forgetting the parents with surname Daniels who called their son Jack. Thigh slapping fun. Shudder.
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Tipi June 15, 2012
Well said Deborah – I am an adult Deb (please do NOT call me Debbie. Debbie is cute & sweet – I am not
And June – did you live my life? I too was unhappy with my husband’s boy name choice of Daniel. Every kid I ever taught named Danny was obnoxious, so why would I inflict this on my own child?
We did go with Daniel (he was never Danny, except to my father-in-law, who would call him Danny, then immediately look at me to see my shudder). He is always Dan these days, and what do adult Dan’s friends all call him? Dangles, of course.
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Mountain Gal April 23, 2012
Someone I know called their child Checker. I am not sure why they did this but if nominative determinism works he will have a great life in supermarkets or, maybe, accountancy.
I’m a big “fan” of phonetic spelling myself: Taylah is just one name that dooms children to life on the lowest rungs of society. I have been told of a kid called Waneeta. The same person told me of a related problem, which is parents who read a name they’d never heard said, so said the name Juanita as Joo-an-eater.
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Kylie April 23, 2012
I am guilty of the simple name strange spelling as my youngest is Lokki. But he WAS named and spelled accordingly to a Norse God of ill – repute…and I think this was unfortunately prescient. In a cute way.
My husband is called David Davies. While this was common in Wales at the time, it continues to raise snickers, and his ire, 53 years later.
My biggest rule (and I MAY have got this from you Wendy harmer on an ep of The Big Gig) is scream test the name so you can yell it from your back door and not sound too fish-wifey – for this reason Chantelle, Narelle, Damien and Harry were off my books. -
donna April 23, 2012
What about the New Zealand couple that named their twin boys Benson and Hedges? NZ has sinced moved to tighten the laws on what you can name your children….
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Alicia April 23, 2012
gold
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meedee April 23, 2012
I love my name and the reason why I was given the name i have also.
A funny name i heard of was “La-a”…..
The Mum kept getting so angry with people for getting her daughters name wrong.
When asked how you pronounced it she said “The dash dont be silent”…hhmmm….Her daughters name was Ladasha -
Trish April 23, 2012
Very good tips, Wendy – hope all parents-to-be are taking note!
Those attention seeking names certain celebrities impose on their innocent children are the worst offenders in my opinion. Gwyneth and Apple a prime example
This post reminded me of a very funny newspaper column I read last year by a Sydney writer admitting how the unusual spelling of her name came to be:
http://blogs.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/sarrahlemarquand/index.php/dailytelegraph/comments/the_hard_choice_of_picking_a_childs_name/ -
Katy April 23, 2012
My daughter is Eloise Joan – the reason being that was the first one on my list of names that her father said wasn’t ‘gay’ or sounded like a name that an international student would give themselves. Joan is after my grandmother.
And I did the screaming from the back door test just to be sure.
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Elisha April 23, 2012
Agreed!!!!!
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Tanya April 23, 2012
We called our daughter Gabrielle Cyane. The names came from Xena Warrior Princess but no one would know unless we told them. Most people say it’s a beautiful name! Meanwhile my partner has a Dutch name that no one can get right!
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Calloway Luddington April 23, 2012
I never saw that program. With deepest respect, is Cyane pronounced like the colour Sigh-ann or is it Cee-ann, Cee-ayne, or Kee-ayne?
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Sue Elliott April 23, 2012
Wendy, I reckon you are wrong about Claire. It’s my middle name and I have always disliked it.
My lovely girl is Belinda, but she calls herself Belly. She just strode home at the ripe old age of 12 and told me of the change and I have spent the last 17 years getting the hang of it.
While pregnant I thought she would be called Bronwyn because I had never taught one but when she was born she just didn’t look like a Bronwyn, so she went unnamed for a long time. But you see they eventually choose for themselves anyway.
You could try Claire on for size, but I reckon Wendy is a much better bet. -
Alex April 23, 2012
I heard a woman in the supermarket the other day yelling “BONDI! WHERE ARE YOU?!”
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Nikki @ Styling You April 23, 2012
My husband’s name is Kester. He does not like it one bit. It’s apparently Welsh for Christopher but he would rather have had Christopher!
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Jennifer Crowther April 23, 2012
“Frigg” – I just snorted coffee out my nose!
There is nothing so much fun as judging the names of other people’s kids!
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elizabeth April 23, 2012
I love this topic. How about La-a. Pronounced Ladasha. Abcde, Pronounced Absedee. And then there was Pron, pronounced as you and I would imagine by a nurse in a waiting room, only to have the indignant mother say “It’s “Ron” the P is silent!”
These really exist. What are the parents thinking? -
Faith April 23, 2012
Johnny Cash’s ‘Boy Named Sue’ springs to mind! I once heard a woman calling out ‘Diana!’ and I thought, such a beautiful, strong name for a little girl and then her dog came running to her. A little pug on our street is called ‘Bruce’.
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Wendy April 23, 2012
How did this one miss the list?
‘Abcde’ from http://www.babynames.com/name/ABCDEThe meaning of the name Abcde is First 5 Letters Of The Alphabet, The origin of the name Abcde is American, Notes: Pronounced “AB-si-dee”
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secret squirrel April 23, 2012
So true, Wendy. If anything, I think “uniquely” spelled names make the child’s family seem uneducated or shallow. Names with strong meaning or tradition hold so much more pride than something that sounds like it belongs on Kath and Kim.
My worst name find? My boyfriend heard a mother call after her son in the shopping centre “come back here Jamiroquai!” Poor kid. -
Rita April 23, 2012
As a teacher, you get to hear it all. Thoroughly sick of Jaden, Braden, Caden, Troyden and how about Jarlath? Taught a Henley (gorgeous girl) – expected her surname to be Regatta! The Yanks always seem to have surnames as christian names, what’s with that? Is Mitt short for something?
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Kerri Sackville April 23, 2012
You think my name should be made redundant????
Yeah, me too. It’s awful.
Sigh… -
TMT April 23, 2012
Wendy, your list of names not to be used shows you to be a snob. Let people call their kids whatever they want and rather than having a dig at all the Tims, Debbies and Ridleys; just leave em alone. Its not your business what people name their kids and rather than slag off the names of the kids who ask for your signature how about being thrilled they are buying your book; despite your sneering.
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Lucy April 23, 2012
I’m just disappointed Peaches didn’t use Vista as a second name for Astala.
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Joni April 24, 2012
Too funny! His third name could be “Baby”!
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TMT April 23, 2012
On a completely different note; How much like Bob Geldorf does her partner look? Wow, what’s going on there?
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Helen April 23, 2012
My niece is Ibanez Mealicca, yes her father is in a heavy metal band, but they left the t out of Metallica so she wouln’t get teased. Her sister is Hunter Raven. My friend knows a Silver Ware. Wayne Deer is a chap I have come across. My friend Tess decided not to keep going out with a chap whose surname was tickle. Thats enough laughs in one go!
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Kathryn April 23, 2012
My son’s name is Taliesin. It’s Welsh and pronounced phonetically (Tally-es-n). It’s a strong, old old Welsh name and my husband’s family is Welsh. We have a Welsh surname. It fits. We love it. But it’s frequently mispronounced, and one friend stridently remonstrated: he’ll be spelling that for the rest of his life. Yes, true. But I’m always having to spell my name, a generally accepted version of a common name.
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Jill April 23, 2012
We called our eldest Katelyn – we wanted to call her Katie (which we do now) but give her an option of using her full name when an adult.
Our youngest is Sally and it just suited her when born. Her big sister helped pick the name.
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Calloway Luddington April 23, 2012
I was having coffee with an old student who shared the happy news that she was pregnant, and that the child, if a boy was to be called TJ, but spelt TIJAH. I took a breath and counted to 10 whilst thinking that although there was a strong probability this young woman would never speak to me again, someone had to stick up for the rights of her unborn child. And in I jumped “Firstly, not in any language anywhere is TIJAH pronounced TJ. Secondly, there will never be a Prime Minister Tijah pronounced TJ (I hope to be proven wrong by a very smug ex-student one day), and thirdly, it’s not a name. If you want to call your kid TJ, then call him Timothy John, and use TJ as a nickname”.
I was right about one thing. She never did speak to me again. -
Kathryn April 23, 2012
I do know of a James, spelled Jaymz. And saw a poor child in the birth announcements: Reign Bo. WTF!?
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Joni April 24, 2012
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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Brie Wiessner April 23, 2012
Oh! dear – I hate my name – it’s Beryl – I was named after a horse – complaining to my Mother she said she called me after a precious stone but no….I know Dad called me after a horse. Even so it’s a name I abhor & can hardly bare to write it & never say it out loud. There are so many beautiful names out there – Wendy is OK – better than mine
) cheers..b -
Susanne April 23, 2012
When everyone’s finally got nothing to do on a Saturday read the birth notices in The Saturday Herald Sun . . . the best I’ve seen was Diesel Barry – can’t remember the surname which is probabaly a good thing.
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Lady Penelope April 23, 2012
My mother, being a good Catholic, named us after the saints day we were born on. Miriam, Veronica, Timothy, Matthew etc with one Exception St Polycop – now known as Shaz.
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Colin April 23, 2012
My brother and his wife have a 14-month-old girl they named Flik Ziiedi (spelt like that, I think). I think everyone’s collective heart sank when they announced my niece’s names. The names seem more odd considering our surname is Long – the names just don’t fit together. I quickly googled, as the names must have come from somewhere… seems Flik is a Disney-Pixar ant character (and yes, it ties in with my sister-in-law’s love of toys and cartoon characters – and she’s almost 30). The closest thing I could find on Ziiedi was to do with a floral arrangement (I think they made it the double ‘i’ to be different). I suppose names are just made-up words, all started by someone, somewhere, sometime in history. The parents are expecting again in July (another girl) – surely this new baby will have to have something equally as ‘weird’ for a name? You can’t very well have Flik Ziiedi having a sister called just plain ‘Jane’. Oh, and by the way, depending on the typeface, you can’t write Flik out in capital letters, either!
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Matron April 23, 2012
Am a Midwife – have perfected my “reaction-to-baby-name” face! One favorite name I have is H – that’s it! Just… H – true story. Still astounded!
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Missjane April 23, 2012
My 22 year old daughter was named “Madeline”. A name I love (please note the plain spelling) my ex hubby proceeded to call her Molly from day one, it stuck as she is rather gorgeous. In year 2 at school she changed the spelling to “Mollee”. I imagine people assume this was her mothers idea.
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Fran April 23, 2012
My first name is Julia so I am very surprised (and somewhat flattered) to discover it is a popular name. I am now in my 50s and no one has ever got it right until recently when Julia Gillard became PM – until then I was Julie or Judy.
I have to agree with all your wise comments. I have 2 sons, Matthew and David.
One bad experience re names I remember was introducing a new Burmese student to his teachers – his name was Farkral Ahson (pronounced Fuk rule ass on). That was a tough day.
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Mumisphere April 23, 2012
I chose two names that are more common at the old folks home than in Primary school: Katherine and Douglas. Katherine is never shortened, but Douglas gets Doug or Dougie regularly. I’ve only met one other child under ten with his name. Any others out there??? (Maybe it’s still got mould on it, and I just don’t know about it.)
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Pete April 23, 2012
Our main issue in choosing names for our kids was discounting the names of anyone who’d ever been mean to us. “Not Jennifer. I went to school with a Jennifer and she was a complete bitch”. “Not Sean, every Sean I’ve ever known has been a nob.”
And to avoid rhyming – having a surname that ends with a long ee ruled out Molly, Sally, Riley, etc.
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Alexandra April 23, 2012
Laughing hard at this article……sad to hear some
People really don’t like their names! I feel very lucky that my parents chose such a lovely name for me and so I tried to do the same for my four children regardless of trends or others well wishing opinions…..btw, I ended up with Lara, William, Lachlan and Rose -
Kath April 23, 2012
We stuck to simple, three-lettered names – Guy & Ian. Teachers love us for it.
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Amanda April 23, 2012
Doesn’t matter how hard you try, you still won’t be able to make up a stupider name than Renesmee. Just saying.
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Louise April 23, 2012
I named my daughter Hunter but knowing she may grow up to hate it, I gave her the normal middle name Jade. So if she wants she can use than instead. So far at 12 years old she loves her name. She did consider changing the spelling to Huntah as that is how we Australians pronounce it (she is at an international school with a lot of Americans… Hunterrrr) but we both decided it looked ridiculous.
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debi April 23, 2012
Great subject, well said Wendy! As another midwife I see a never ending supply of crazy names with even crazier spelling, just makes me cringe! Thankfully, haven’t seen a Debbie for the last 20years! ( Speaking as a Debbie myself who as a teenager changed the spelling to up my “cool” factor!)
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Karen April 23, 2012
My name is Karen and my husband is Bruce. My mum is called Wendy. Do we win a prize for worst named family?
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Catherine April 23, 2012
I was given the name Catherine. A perfectly reasonable name except that very second baby girl for the previous 2 hundred years was also given the name (now it is “Caitlyn” which is just a misunderstanding of the Irish pronunciation of Kathleen – so same name!).
I did not appreciate having such a common name. I could never just rely on my first name – to this day I always introduce myself with both my first name and last name – and I never answer to a shout out of the name (because half the population would seem to turn around).
When I was pregnant with my son I was determined to give him a name that seemed like it was just for him – but I didn’t want it to be impossible to spelll or pronounce. I came up with Cale – it’s Irish and it was reminiscent of my pre married name. But the very many variations of the spelling of that name became apparent with the first few “congratulations” cards (Kale, Cail, Cahill, Kayle)!!
Then I reverted to my original surname which is Cahill. And so people think my son is named Cale Cahill (he’s not).
It seems no matter what you do, some people won’t like your choice. But I think my son has grown into his less than common name quite magnificently!
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Natalie April 23, 2012
I love getting letters from our insurance company. They are always signed “Terry Towel”. I laugh every time.
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Cheryl April 23, 2012
There were twins in my class when I was in grade 1 named Tanya and Sanya. Even at the age of six I thought this was horrible!
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Lisa Lintern April 23, 2012
Hold on to your hats – here comes a controversial comment. I get really concerned when we start criticizing names that are defined as unusual by our ‘culture’, but are popular in other cultures. My children have Irish names (because my husband is Irish, not just because we felt like) that are unusual here, but common in Ireland. My young children also go to kindy/school with children from other cultures who also have ‘unusual names’. I quite like the idea of a world where the Min-Joons, Samirs and Cians can say their names proudly alongside the Chloes, Jessicas and Jacks. I can see the funny side to the whole strange name debate, but just worry it’s a slippery slope to intolerance. And now I will run away and hide.
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Penny April 23, 2012
I was baptised Penelope but go by Penny and I’m not fond of either name. My boys are Thomas and Jack (they are 3 and 2). They are fairly common names but my biggest issue is I didn’t want them to have to spell their names on a daily basis.
I worked with a girl called Juanita and her parents pronounced it Ju-an-eeta which was pretty funny. -
Rachel Smith April 23, 2012
I’m not a fan of my name either, but I like my married name – Rachel Murphy – simply because it’s new and I’m loving the novelty of it all! Smith, blah blah blah, yawn.
Also, I was named Kathryn for the first six months of my life, but my mum decided I looked like a Rachel and changed it (still says Kathryn on my birth cert). Was always upset about that. Never got to try it out properly and I would’ve quite liked to!-
The Huntress April 23, 2012
I knew a Rachel Murphy when I was in high school and she was ever so pretty. So your name makes me think you must be super pretty like she was.
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Elizabeth April 23, 2012
After being named after one of my father’s ex-girlfriends (no idea *what* my mother was thinking) with a name that just made primary school hell. I changed my name to something with credibility. For this reason I religiously comb the birth notices – today’s gem from The West: Chalice-Lorelei Rosina. What hope does the child have?!
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Ursula December 30, 2012
I have to laugh at this one, I was nearly named Elizabeth but my parents decided that they did not like any of the vast array of nicknames that would be thrown around during my school years. This then somehow became my middle name – which I hate! So, I got Ursula (we are of German descent). I was born in 1985, 4 years later Disney created The Little Mermaid. This caused some minor turmoil but not as much as you would think.
I love my name and cannot fathom being called anything else. People hardly forget it and many people comment on how lovely it is.
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royce April 23, 2012
I teach several hundred children as I travel regularly between schools in Gippsland. I also tour Australia with a travelling science show…… I meet thousands of kids each year and use their names. Over the last decade this has become a minefield of misunderstandings. I am now faced with not knowing what gender a kid is when they volunteer in front of 150 of their peers. I have been caught out with saying “that girl was great wasn’t she?” only to find that “Keeboty” or whatever was …. a boy.
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Amy April 23, 2012
I have always loved my name – Amy Brooke Chatwin.
Being ABC somehow defines me – however I do truly loathe that horrendous Jackson 5 song. -
Cate April 23, 2012
Loved this article. People I know have named their son Loki. Seriously? That’s just an open invitation for him to be into all kinds of mischief.
My son’s name is Jordan. I liked the name Gordon. But that was the name of a close friend of mine and that was bound to cause trouble with his wife. Then I found out that Jordan meant ‘descended from God’ and I thought ..hmmm..how bad could that be? By the time Jordan was born, I loved the name so that was it. My friend’s wife still had issues with it *groan*
My daughter is Emma-Leigh. I wanted to call her Emily Ann after Emma Ann, a great great grandmother. But my son (then 8) didn’t like the way it “looked”. I said what about just Emma then? He didn’t like that because there was a nasty girl at school named Emma. So I suggested Emma-Leigh and he thought that was wonderful. He wouldn’t hear of her middle name being Ann, however. He insisted it be Samantha after his Godfather Sam. My daughter doesn’t like her name *heavy sigh* and prefers to be called Rose. What can you do? -
Deb April 23, 2012
Loving this chat! I was always called Debra as a child, partly because my parents hated name-tampering (my sister named Jacqueline, go figure, was Jacki by age 5!) and partly to avoid confusion with the same-age Debbie next door. As a consequence I still inwardly cringe when anyone calls me Debbie! Now in my 40′s don’t mind Deb,….
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anon April 23, 2012
As a casual teacher I have to go anonymous for this one.
I once asked a student her name, at first I thought she said “Ebony”, then I was sure it was “Bethany” by which time her friends were correcting me with glee – her name was Ethany.
Another teacher swears she once taught a child named Sham Payne who had a sister Shania Twain Payne.
I teach in many schools, in all sorts of socio=economic spectrums. I have heard the pretentious (a shout out to “Cordelia-Rose”- heaven forbid you forget to add the Rose) and the bogan (Gidday “Holden”) and in between (at one school there must have been a trend in the local area to name girls after American States- Missouri, Dakota, Carolina)I rarely bat an eye ball these days
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The Huntress April 23, 2012
I am a plain, boring, Kate, but after reading a similar article on The Punch recently I was struck by how many people wished they were a Kate. I now get that while the name seems ordinary most Kate’s are pretty cool, so perhaps we’ve taken ownership of what is a plain name?
I named my son Reilly, middle name Daniel. It’s a lovely traditional Irish name (his dad wouldn’t let me pick a Welsh one, as my family is Welsh) and contrary to popular belief that is the traditional way to spell it as a first name (Riley is traditionally a surname). My rules were something that was nice, but not uncommon, something that he couldn’t be teased for and something that has a nice meaning – Reilly means valiant, which suits my boy down to the ground. Daniel was his biological dads decision – he wanted it as a first name, but my brother is a Daniel and the only way I could have lived with it as a first name was if we shortened it to Danny. I have since left my sons biological dad and married into a double barrelled surname that Reilly now wants to adopt – which unfortunately has the initials of R-R. That’s a lot of R’s, but it makes him happy.
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Cilla April 23, 2012
My name is unusual and although I love it I have spent my life spelling it. My kids have simple names spelt the traditional way.
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Lynne April 23, 2012
Mine’s a name you wont’ here for anyone under 50 and results in Lyn, Lynn and now in the 21st century Lin. Lynette who is she? Never responded to that when being remonstrated at by teachers. Middle name Suzette – what were they thinking? Only useful during that children’s game where you could take giant steps if you had a Z in your name.
Named our son after a Pakistani cricketer to reflect his paternal sub-continent heritage thinking everyone would know how to pronounce Javed (actually pronounced Jarved) but again only men over the age of 50 know. He hasn’t rejected that for his Anglo middle name – yet.
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maggie April 23, 2012
I loved this article and consider myself very lucky grandmother to have 5 grandchildren with names that are simple and easy to spell. Thomas Anthony, William Jeremy, Josie Louise, Jack Alexander, and Emma Louise. Thanks to my wondersful daughters making it easy for their mother.
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Aeron Winters April 23, 2012
Well said Wendy. I agree with most of what you have to say about naming kids. However, with a name like Aeron (which is a very old Celtic name…Aeron was the celtic goddess of battle) and my daughter’s name Keely (which is a very old Irish name) we still have to spell our names. I never particularly minded being unique, but I prefer these very old names to weird spellings of more common names, as per the numerous examples you have given. Give me a Siobhan or a Riordan anyday. (Can you tell I love Irish names?) These names may have to be spelled out, but the spelling is traditional and has some history.
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TMT April 23, 2012
@Wendy, it never matters what side of the bed I got out of, I still hate elitism.
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redcap April 23, 2012
I used to enjoy going through the paper on a Saturday morning, picking out the bad names. And then I discovered that Births, Deaths and Marriages put together a list of all the names used in the past year, so I decided to do a bit of mocking on my blog. Got me a few unhappy emails
http://halfheartedhack.blogspot.com.au/search/label/sbg%20names
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Caity April 23, 2012
I HATED – *HATED WITH A PASSION!!!* my given name as a child, and heaven forbid that you should add on the dreaded “ee” – turning the horrible “Ruth” into the even more jaw- grindingly awful “Ruthie”. Oh, the time I spent in utter misery being taunted by the horrible older kids of the neighbourhood: “Geez, RUTH, lost a TOOTH, must have been in a telephone BOOTH” – ARRRRRRRGH!!! No matter how many times my parents told me to ignore it, I was reduced to tears every time.
Little wonder then, at the tender age of 20, fleeing an abusive marriage across several states and needing a new identity I changed all my names, first, middle, and last.
There must have been something in the air because two or three years later I was quite often shocked in thesupermarket by loud yells of “CAITLIN! PUT THAT DOWN!” as the babies who were named at the same time I renamed myself reached that grabby, toddler stage where things in the shops are too enticing to leave alone…
Oddly enough, these days I’m quite happy calling myself Caity, with no worries about that “ee” sound. But I still grind enamel at hearing “Ruthie” even though that hasn’t been my name for more than half my life.
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TMT April 23, 2012
Oh dear Wendy, from reading these posts it seems that people feel encouraged towards dull and ordinary.
And @Fran, I can’t imagine how supported your Burmese student must have felt when you had that tough day of yours. -
M April 23, 2012
Similar to a post above- regarding initials
VD and STD in the one family ! -
Hoot April 23, 2012
I know of a young boy named Dodge. And his last name is Small. A cousin of my husband’s has a son name Xyz (pronounced Zice).
My kids names are pretty plain in comparison.
I always hated my first name (still not fond of it) so I go mostly by a nickname these days. Even my published academic papers aren’t under my legal first name. I should just change it and be done with it.
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Hoot April 23, 2012
Oh and I know a 14 year old named Achilles and his younger brother is something really ordinary like Andrew.
And my neighbours names are Sharon and Darren. It is all I can do not to call them Shazza and Dazza.
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KellieMaree April 23, 2012
As an almost 51 year old Kellie, I’ve always had to sayl ‘that’s Kellie with an i.e.’ and while I don’t mind my name, I always think of Kellies (of any spelling) as chirpy, energetic tom-boys full of mischief….the complete opposite of this Kellie.
One sister is called Meryn – which I love and she doens’t,
and in true Aussie form, we shorten it to Mez. When my younger brother was born almost 43 years ago and my parents decided to call him Liam, which is very popular now, my grandmother was shocked and claimed she would call him ‘Sonny Jim’.
No kids myself but my nieces and nephews are: Cameron, Lauren, Rhys, Laura, Jonathon, Gemma, Milly, Samuel, William and Claire. Beautiful names for beautiful people. -
Georgie April 23, 2012
Good article Wendy, although I can’t agree with some of your no-go names. As a casual relief teacher I often come across names that are questionable and always feel sorry for kids whose names have been “individualised” or are words that are used in everyday language, eg Storm, Sunday, Summer Breeze, Diesel, etc.The oddest one I have come across is Boo Boo, but the child seemed to be okay with it. Nowadays when I go into a classroom I always go through the class list and find out the pronunciation and gender of those I am unsure of.
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The Huntress April 23, 2012
Would the Boo Boo perhaps be a literary reference to JD Salinger? Boo Boo was one of the girls of the infamous glass family and was part owner of the apartment the wedding party retired to in “Raise High The Roof Beam Carpenters”.
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Margaret Mila April 23, 2012
I recently met a woman who had two little girls called Sydney and Tuesday. She didn’t even crack a grin when it was suggested to her that at some point she may be able to utter the sentence “I’m taking Sydney and Tuesday to Sydney on Tuesday”. Humourless cow.
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lisa forrest April 23, 2012
My Mum’s name is Caretta. She had to spell it all her life so she was determined to give her children simple names; we are Lisa, Greg and Jane.
I think Lisa was up there in the list of popular names around 1963/64.There were three Lisa’s in my class at school for most of my life – not to mention a couple of swimmers with the same name. I teach creative writing in schools quite regularly now but I never meet a Lisa. It’s a name that has al but disappeared.
Like Dianne Keaton, I called my son Dexter (I didnt know she had done the same). I named him in honour of Cary Grant’s character, C.K. Dexter Haven in one of my fave movies, The Philidelphia Story. Katherine Hepburn’s character Tracey Lord calls him (her ex-husband when we first meet them), Dex for most of the movie.
I thought it was a strong boys name,not over used. I risked the association with Dynasty’s Dex Dexter, the Perfect Match robot of the same name, an Australian radio serial from the 50′s and a cartoon called Dexter’s Laboratory.
But who could have foreseen he would also have to contend with a series about a psychopathic serial killer!?!Nor a relative who calls him Decko – I kid you not!
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dramaqueen75 April 23, 2012
Lisa – there were five Lisa’s in my year 6 class. Five! What was going on in 1966?
Yes, I am a Lisa too
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Keryn April 23, 2012
This just makes me laugh!
Being a teacher means that I had huge problems naming my own because every name comes with a story (and some very unpleasant).
A few memorable ones are a class of rhymes- Haydn (no e), Jayden, Baden, Caden, Brayden and Aidan (I kid you not)!
Then a particularly famous year – Shykira, James Brown and Indiana Jones.
Horrible spelling – Merkaylah
Ugh!
My name has always caused grief, only due to the spelling though and was in the years when Karen, Kerry, Cathy and Leanne were popular.
PS Wendy a friend of mine is named after Wendy from Peter Pan, I like that but think that yours is a better story! -
Donna @ NappyDaze April 23, 2012
Howled with laughter reading this! As the daughter of someone who grew up despising her “unique” name I was warned very early that any potential offspring should be spared the same bane of her existence.
My Mum named me simply because she was told in a dream (when 9 months pregnant) she had a baby of that name. It was actually the name my Dad had chosen and she had her heart set on another but decided it was a sign. Luckily for her I’ve loved it
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Cate April 23, 2012
@wendy Did you know Mitt Romney’s name is actually Willard? It’s Willard Mitt Romney. Wouldn’t you think he’d rather be a Will than a Mittens?
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Benison O'Reilly April 23, 2012
Perhaps I shouldn’t wade in here! My name is old English, an O’Reilly family name and it means a blessing (the male version of my name is Benedict). My parents were honouring family and history naming me Benison, but unfortunately few people are well educated enough to know his and assume I’ve been given a boy’s name or, even worse, a bogan name, and I’m frankly sick of explaining it. I’ve even thought of getting explanatory cards printed!.
My sons all have conventional names as a consequence.
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Bev April 23, 2012
Wendy, ( I always wished that was my name!) I am Beverley, never liked it, but apparently named after my mum’s friend so never thought about changing it. My children given simple single syllable names because we have unusual surname. Chose basic spellings but they still get misspelt! It would seem Peaches was not traumatized by her name!! Love your stories.
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shelley April 23, 2012
All great reading. Funny, naughty, intolerant and all. A name is a name, the more you say it the less unusual it sounds. When I was pregnant long ago I remember thinking that you could call your child Egg Yolk or Fine Tooth Comb and after a while no-one would bat an eyelid. Little did I realise how foretelling I had been.
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Annie from Faulco April 23, 2012
An unexpected source of mirth at a dinner party came from an older lady of my acquaintance who is decorous and genteel in all matters. Upon hearing that a boy had been named Jaxxxon, the rest of us chuckled, but were silenced, momentarily, when she said, “It should have been 4 Xs. That’s what he’ll be drinking by the time he’s twelve.” Silence replaced by mirth!
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Carmel April 23, 2012
My brother in law tells a story of meeting an American on a business trip called Richard Stiffy – and he introduced himself as Dick. “Hi, I’m Dick Stiffy”
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Margaret Mila April 23, 2012
… and on the same very rich vein – my husband is having a bit of a struggle introducing his recently arrived from the US colleague – Randy Porker.
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Loz April 23, 2012
On news of a friend naming her new baby Skylar, I bought some lovely blue outfits. The only other Skylar I had heard of was Rachel Zoe’s son. Imagine my surprise in finding that the spelling with an A is for a girl and the boy version is spelt Skyler. Who knew?!!
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Sally April 23, 2012
I’m with Beryl. Beryl is an astoundingly awful name!
Lisa- I soooo wanted to be a Lisa for a long time – the coolest kids seemed to be called Lisa (I was born 1957)
Terry Towel – that one REALLY made me snort!
Best kid’s name I taught – Bumsuk – a Korean, pronounced Bum Suck.
A commonish name in India apparently is “Baby” which I try to be grown up & non-judgmental about, but it’s hard addressing a late middle aged colleague as “Baby”.
Most popular name in recent years in France? Kevin, apparently. Who’d a thunk it!
My name, Sally, I quite like.
My son? Benjamin, known as Ben – he kinda named himself – just seemed ‘right’. And neither my partner or I had ever taught a dud Ben ! They’ve all been nice. -
Pauline April 24, 2012
I have 2 brothers and a sister and we are all the same letter, ‘P’. So was Mum.
I knew Danish twins (boy and girl) and their names were Gin and Tonic. I kid you not.
My son’s initials spell LAV but no-one has ever said a word. Maybe it is such an old fashioned term, it doesn’t relate anymore. I actually was aware of this but went ahead anyway.
My daughter’s fiance has a first name as a surname so I think a surname sounding name for any offspring they have would be good, like Harrison.
I have always hated my name, was going to be Prudence but a friend of Mum’s said she wanted that name. When her daughter was born 2 months after me she called her Linda.
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Joni April 24, 2012
When I started teaching, several boys were hassling an obese Year 7 boys and calling him what I thought was “Fatty” I pulled them up and gave them a talking to…only to discover that actually was his name. (Fadi)\
I taught a family of kids with the surname Beach.One year I got Raymond,then Jeffrey and finally Sandy Beach. Our neighbours named their child Safari and their surname was Hunt.
Totally agree with you on the silly spelling of normal names, it disadvantages the child. My ex students announce the birth of their babies and my heart sinks when I hear Kayleb, Mycheal (sic) and Raycherl.
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anon April 24, 2012
I taught a kid the other day named Maverick. What were these people thinking?
mav·er·ick [mav-er-ik, mav-rik] noun
1.
Southwestern U.S. an unbranded calf, cow, or steer, especially an unbranded calf that is separated from its mother.
2.
a.
a lone dissenter, as an intellectual, an artist, or a politician, who takes an independent stand apart from his or her associates: a modern-dance maverick. Synonyms: nonconformist, individualist; free thinker; loner, lone wolf.
b.
a person pursuing rebellious, even potentially disruptive, policies or ideas: You can’t muzzle a maverick. Synonyms: rebel, cowboy; loose cannon.
3.
Maverick, an electro-optically guided U.S. air-to-ground tactical missile for destroying tanks and other hardened targets at ranges up to 15 miles (24 km).
adjective
4.
unorthodox, unconventional, nonconformist: a maverick fiscal conservative willing to raise taxes. -
Joni April 24, 2012
They may not own a dictionary!
I taught a large boy named “RUBY” one year. Nobody batted an eyelid when I read the roll on the first day and it was a High School class.
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Joni April 24, 2012
For the record, I have named our 4 children a traditional but not too common name from Italian, Greek, English and Hebrew history. With conventional spellings for each.
Re Lisa being a 60s name, I agree as I grew up with 4 Lisas. I still love the name though.
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Carmel April 24, 2012
My husband just reminded me of a work mate from years ago, surname of Pipe. He married an American lass and come hell or high water she was going to use the family name for the first born male of Dwayne. Neither he or she got it, I have recently learnt that he is known as Wayne these days. Both parents needed a smack in the back of the head!
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Suzyb April 24, 2012
The other overused name in the 60s is Sue. I never turn around when I hear someone call out Sue.
Luckily you never hear of kids named Sue anymore -
airdre April 25, 2012
Overheard at the park: DONT SWING UPSIDE DOWN, MEMPHIS!.
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airdre April 25, 2012
followed by: IF YOU DONT STOP, I WILL BREAK YOUR LEGS OFF AND STUFF THEM UP YOUR NOSE!
let’s hope Memphis stopped swinging upside down. Her name is the least of her worries.
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Keryn April 26, 2012
Too funny!
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alan April 25, 2012
Let’s not forget epponnee ray from Kath and kym and the name they came up with as kym was being wheeled through the hospital Cardio Infarction a good boys name They liked the Italian names
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Liz Munro April 28, 2012
I hated my first name “Janet” – luckily got called by my second name the very regal Elizabeth (I actually thought at 6 years that I was going to be the next Queen until another girl turned up at school with this name also – I was crushed. Who the hell was going to be the Queen???) Anyway, my mother’s rule of thumb was to put “Lady” or “Sir” before our names (because of course her 4 daughters were all regularly courted by Earls). I once met a family at a function who had named their daughter Chlorine. I did ask whether they had a pool. No – not surprisingly.
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gogirl April 28, 2012
@ Caity (April 23, 2012). I can so relate – that’s my first name too and I always, always, always hated it so much. Luckily for me, it wasn’t the name I was ever called. Funny though, my second name – the name I have always been called – is so very simple, yet still people get it wrong. Gives me a giggle.
I’m quite partial to unique / unusual names though, I think so many of them are really quite wonderful. That said, I’m not so taken with the modern spellings
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El T May 2, 2012
I’m a 1966 Lisa too but I had an ‘E’ stuck on the front, just to confuse the issue! It’s Elisa on my passport and official documents but very few people are aware of this and just know me as Lisa. This caused a bit of a problem when a friend of mine who worked in a travel agency organised an international flight for me, using ‘Lisa’. Tickets and passports didn’t match, I didn’t even notice until checking in.
So my kids are Edward and Heather, slightly unusual and traditional but with ONE spelling!! -
Motherhugger May 2, 2012
I must say I instantly liked a mum I met who called her babygirl ‘Jane’. What a rebel!
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Melanie May 3, 2012
We named our daughter plain old Ashley (yes, spelled simply the way it is pronounced) Jessica. Somehow, over the years that has evolved into A.J. Now, at 17 and in her last year of high school, hardly anyone at school knows her ‘real’ name is Ashley. She chooses to be called AJ and I must admit I do like it. And I so agree with the rest of this article – loving everyone’s comments!
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Nat May 6, 2012
I was almost called Tracey (or maybe without an ‘e’) which must have been popular in 1967, as there was always one or more Tracey’s in my primary school classes.
In year 3 we were joined by two new girls – Wahub from Lebanon and Gramonda from Eastern Europe. They seemed very exotic in amongst the Helen’s and Julie’s…
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Joni May 7, 2012
Former Bond girl Rosamund Pike has given her baby boy the unusual name Solo!
A SOLO MAN when he grows up for sure.
I know a couple named Karren ( yes, 2 rs) and Darren. Kazza and Dazza….
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Louise May 10, 2012
My maiden name is Louise Browne. At school in Ireland I became known as Cheese Hovis. There were two ads on tv at the time. Diary Corporation … Cheese Please Louise … Bread Corporation … Dont say Brown, say Hovis …
I do like my christian name … been in Australia for over 40 years and no-one calls me Lou … at least not more than once! -
Joni May 15, 2012
Yesterday I noticed that a new girl in our Playgroup is called Rapunzel.
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Damo May 24, 2012
Correct the child and advise the parents to contact The Registry of Births, deaths and marriages.
I simply refuse to perpetuate the incorrect spelling of names. Surely this fad has been a factor in our declining literacy levels.
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Vanessa May 27, 2012
I used to work with a Richard Burst commonly called Dick. I know of twins named Summer and Rowdy with the last name Storm.
The other thing with names is when a name is repeated, like a guy I went to school with by the name of Robert Robertson. Why would parent do that?
I grew up with an uncommon name but had to put up with being taunted with Vanessa the Undresser all my life. I have named my son Hamish as it was also uncommon (until the untimely rise of Hamish and Andy).
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Nat June 12, 2012
Great names.
I love my name – when I was growing up it was slightly unusual but common enough.
We named our son Theodore and have been asked to spell it. I’ve also been told Theodore is pretentious!
Anyway, Allyshya is a girl my sons age. Pronounced Alicia -
Ayrton Madsen June 12, 2012
I am loving this post & the comments!
I am a gen Y so this will remedy some disrespect I think some of you may wish against me for being my age =P
My father is from Denmark, so we have lost of lovely and unusual names in our family!
My brothers are Torben & Raoul, my father is Phillip, my Pa is named Svend and my great uncles are Fleming, Christian, Torben, Anas ( pronounces Ah-nas ) and Yense – and all males on ( including myself and my brothers ) share the middle name Aargaard ( pronounced as Orgo ).My own name is in fact Portuguese ( my father still, do this day, denies I was named after the famous Brazilian racing car driver! ) pronounced air-ton.
Although must digress that there have been more than a few names among my classmates that make me shudder!
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Kristy June 12, 2012
Enjoyed the article & all the comments. I’ve always liked my name even though Kristy is a common name for women around my age. 2 of my best friends have the same name.
I like the idea of recycling names of family members & passing on surnames/maiden names as first or middle names if they sound OK.
The name Boo Boo cracked me up because that’s what we call our cat!
Cheers to people being creative with names but some if the spelling is a bit silly. Some names I’ve heard: Dragon, Diamond (boy – eek!) and Phoenix (which is growing on me!) I like unusual ones like Shrelana & Svetlana too. -
Todd June 13, 2012
I have a friend who’s last name is Head, his daughter’s name is Hannah! That’s just not right!
Also, isn’t it a good thing former politician Andrew Peacock didn’t go by the shortened first name of Drew? -
Mhor June 13, 2012
I still think my mother has one of the most beautiful names. My mother is 70.
Her name is Mignon Eva..
[mee nyo(n)]Mignon is French but it is a family name (her mother had it as a middle name and her grandmother too). My sister’s middle name is Mignon – alas no grand daughters for my mother to carry on the name.
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Donna June 14, 2012
I’ve nearly always liked my name & never wanted to be known by my middle name which is Leeanne (with 2 E’s thank you)
My children are Lochlan (rather than LAchlan), Amelia & Freyja (pronounced Fray-a & is a Norse goddesses name)!
Everyone goes to spell my sons name with an A, Amelia which is straight forward also gets spelt wrong & everyone pronounces Freyja as Fray-ja!! When pregnant with my eldest daughter I did, for about 3 months want to spell her name Emeleah, I am thankful now that I didn’t -
Ros June 14, 2012
In the 70′s while teaching kindergarten I had three Matthews in the class, two with the same surname initial, so I asked, and checked with the mother, if one could be called Matt – fine. Calling the roll next day I read out his name Matt Hilder very quickly – oops. He was a gorgeous boy and his mum had not twigged before this.
I named my daughter Josephine, very happy with any derivative – Jo, Josie – BUT when a day care worker called her Joce I was upset and said “if I wanted her called Joce I would have named her Joyce.
Being a teacher I thought I had thought of everything – Noooo.
A name I loved for a boy was Daniel but every Daniel I had taught was naughty so I thought – better not. Our son was named his father’s fav name James. So common BUT we went to live in Dubai and he was the only one in his class for five years, while Josie was one of two – who knows? -
Jodie McEwen June 20, 2012
I have a friend who has a son and a daughter, Tyler and Skyler. The other unmentionable names have to be Judas, Job, Jezebel and Delilah.
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Luella June 23, 2012
My Miss 14 is Lucylee. She’s named after my Russian grandmother, Ludmilla, who shortened it to Lucy when she migrated. The Lee is my middle name, so to be a bit different, I joined them together. She gets Lucyloo all the time tho.
For me I love my name, Luella, but I’m getting lazier as I age! Now I’m just Lu, but quite often get Lulu. -
Litlmis September 3, 2012
We downloaded a baby name app. Went through the 56000 names and made a list of any name that sounded anglo-saxon. Not being of ethnic descent we thought an ethnic name would sound dumb.
We then created 4 columns, Yes, No, family/friends and never in a thousand years. We took out all family names, friends names and kids of friends names. All names of ex-boyfriends/girlfriends and anyone that we just didn’t like went in the “no” column. Anything that we might like went in the maybe or yes column. We did this separately. Following on from that we then compared lists. Anything that made both “no” or “friends/family” list was highlighted red, anything that made one “no” list and one “maybe” or “yes” list was highlighted orange. Any name on one “yes” and one “maybe” list was highlighted green. Any name that made both “yes” lists we highlighted blue.
We then compared lists and discussed options, both with right to veto. With what waS left we finally created two lists, one of first names, one for middle names. We then decided with a short surname we needed at least a double sylable first name and a longer but single sylable middle name.
We also cross checked the list against the top 20 for the past 10 years and crossed off anything from those lists. Also not on the list was any name that was multi-gender, bogan, weird spelling or just bizarre.
This process took longer than 9 months and we have had nothing but compliments on our sons name.
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Sarah December 30, 2012
Best one I’ve ever heard of (or actually read about) was a family who CLAIM that they didn’t realise what the child’s name would sound like until it was already registered and therefore too late, apparently they hadn’t said it out loud until that point. The surname was Peacock and they named their son Drew!
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Cosimina December 30, 2012
For someone who was raised in an era where unusual names was not the norm. I grew up with every other girl called Kerry, Lisa and Kathy. I now find it personally comforting that others have such bazaar names. Though I think parents need to rethink naming there child some “strange” name. The poor child is stuck with it forever. Sorry but no one wants to be called Apple or La-a.
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Nerrilyn December 30, 2012
I identify with the knitting book. My mother’s excuse was she got my name from a blanket label – the only thing was that the name on the blanket was Merilyn – she just got creative with it – so not really from the blanket – just inspired by a blanket – go figure – Mothers!!! I hated my name because in those days no one except me had a name no one could remember and I was always called “Whats-her-name”. Also my name couldn’t really be shortened into anything half decent either – I made sure my kids got normal names that could be shortened so the had a choice and that people could remember. Joanna/Jo, Emma/Em, Jacob/Jake. They know this story – now they call me Nezza but only when they really want to seriously piss me off.
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Jo @Countrylifeexperiment December 30, 2012
As a teacher – I agree with all these rules. The worst name I have actually heard was ‘Chardonay’. I was at my cousins baby shower, when a mum yelled “Chardonay, get out of that tree”. I nearly wet myself.
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Rhoda December 30, 2012
My daughter has 3 sons and they have great names – a little old-fashioned but they suit. The first one though – Max – was to be Maxwell and though I said nothing for awhile I couldn’t let it pass. I knew she wanted him called Max and that Maxwell was just to make the whole name ring nicely when read out. Suggested it was not a name a boy of his day and age would like to be lumped with. Her husband agreed with me so she took it on board and left it as Max. I think she’s glad now. I tried to be tactful and didn’t enter into any conversation about the other grandson’s names you can be sure LOL
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tempo919 December 30, 2012
Aged ten, I was one of five girls named Debbie/Debby/Deborah/Debra in my class. It’s a fun-loving name and entirely suited to my personality. As a ballet teacher I am now known by my tiniest pupils as “Dancing Debbie” and I love it. Please, never call me by my full name, Deborah, (with all three syllables) as I know I’m in trouble.
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Robyn December 30, 2012
oh excellent!
some of my favourites- I KNOW all these!
Nemesis!!
twins- Kolumbine and Cherokee
Pharaoh Aramis
Emmaby
Te’Kiah
Harley Davidson
Siborne
Timuna
Daughxn (Dawn!!)
Psyche (pronounced Pish “me mum read it in a book”!!) -
Jo December 30, 2012
Here is another tip for prospective parents. Watch as many popular sitcoms as possible. Not for names to call your baby but rather to prevent potential embarrassment. My son was born around the time of 90210 which I didn’t watch. I chose the name Dylan for him because it’s Welsh meaning is “son of a sea god”, and our surname is Welsh. When he was born I was renting and one day went to the real estate to pay my rent. The receptionist, with a very strong Australian accent asked me “how’s your baby? what’s his name, Brandon?” I told her it is Dylan to which she quickly replied “oh yeah, I knew it was one of those 90210 names”. I was horrified.
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Janet G December 30, 2012
I called my son Cello because I wanted to name him after his grandfather who was a cellist but could not come to terms with the name Frank.
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Deb December 30, 2012
I’m a baby boomer Debra/Debbie among all the others! And so many of us are second name Lee! I’ve always loved unusual names and delighted in the eg, Geldof/Yates childrens’ names. My own children have fairly common names with a long Greek surname. My son is Lee. My daughter would have preferred a less continental first name – we called her Gina Mae. (She also informed me after she left school that she was sometimes fondly referred to as Vag – oh dear, we hadn’t thought of that)! I absolutely love my granddaughters’ names and they are both unusual – Khoda Lee and Jupiter Poe (Jupi for short). Viva la difference.
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Lou December 30, 2012
My husband is registrar for our local soccer club. Last year he had a new registration: H. “His name is H. Just the letter H.” said the mother. What the?!?!
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Wendy December 30, 2012
I’m a Wendy too. Not that thrilled, it’s not really a baby name or a grown up name… But I suppose I am used to it by now. Thought long and hard about the kids names, not too weird, not too ordinary, something adult and childlike. Settled in Zachary (Zac) which he likes (so far) and Kiara. Didn’t go for the traditional chiara as we knew she’d get “CH”. So the dark haired Irish saint it was – and she is the most blond haired and blue eyed child you’ll meet. It was the only girls name we agree on, I also like Isabella – I told my daughter this and currently she is Izzy most of the time. Husband joked about naming them both Thor and Calamity, but we figured we would NEVER get dinner invitations or play date invites!
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Deborah December 30, 2012
I’ve always hated Debbie, I used to get teased in high school with Debbie does Dallas, so I do prefer Deborah or Deb, Debs.
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Leanne December 30, 2012
I’ve always hated my name. I was always told that I was the very first ‘Leanne’ registered in QLD (way back in 1957). Didn’t make me like it any more. DOCS workers come across the worst names. One I know has cases where the kids are named Rapunzel, Flayme and Fyre (twins)! My grandchildren are Andrew and Annabelle with Anastasia due in March.
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Silky December 30, 2012
Spare a thought for your children’s teachers when naming your offspring. Years ago, I almost choked when having to announce student names on Awards Night – Adrianus, Hooman, Xavier, Klod (a beautiful girl). But as we have become more multicultural, it is accepted that we find out correct pronunciation & kids adopt Aussie nicknames.
However, I still cringe when I see so many names misspelt or changed to make one’s child ‘unique’. Pretentious parents should be made to write out the correct spelling 100 times!! -
Sue Bell December 30, 2012
In the supermarket years ago I heard a woman call out Craigette and Rogerina ….., there was someone wanting boys. My sister has known children called Refrigerator and Television. In my stage show my triplets were called Sharing, Caring and Awareness.
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Hettie December 30, 2012
I never really fitted my name so I paid my money and changed it. Then on looking through some old grade 5 school books I found I had already called myself Hettie all those years ago. Where it came from I don’t know, but its here to stay now.
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Katie December 30, 2012
I know twins called Brandy and Shandy – true story! I also know of parents who called their kids Astro and Dusty and then proceeded to name their dogs Craig and Steve. My brother, a primary school teacher, has taught a Chole (“it’s Chloe, Dad can’t spell”) and a Vee Eight.
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Rikki December 30, 2012
I’ve always liked my name, despite it causing gender confusion thanks to being pre-Maxwells of the world and the absence of the then-popular ‘lee’. My birth certificate is Richelle, a name neither myself nor my mum particularly like… but after pressure from family that I would be teased for having a ‘boys name’ and a friend who was Michelle aka Micky, mum went with it should I want to change it. It was nearly Storm, so I guess I always felt I dodged a bullet.
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Lady Penelope December 30, 2012
My parents named six of their seven children from the Old Testament and we all have names that I think are quite beautiful – Miriam, Adrian, Matthew, Timothy, Veronica, Gregory & ….Sharyn.
I’m Miriam Naomi (bitter sweet) and always been happy with my name. However I work in human services and there is a list of names that are the DOCs baby names including Jaidyn, Taylah, Kaisha and Breeannah. Perhaps your name does effect your fate.
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Sarah December 30, 2012
As part of my job I have to make membership cards. I see around 200 people a day so I get some absolute shockers. It especially irks me when the whole tribe have silly names. “come here Phoenix. Stand next to Lillyjae and Tanaeisha”. A couple of months ago I was making a card for a young boy. I said “first name?” mothers reply: “nathaniel. N-a-r-t-h-e-n-i-y-e-l-l.”
What. Don’t they revoke parenting licences for that?
There are some cute names that come from countries where English isn’t the widely spoken language though, I see lots of people from India or south-east Asia with given names like “Wealthy”, “Lucky”, “Happy” and even, most recently, “Money”. Those would be hard to live with but a bit cuter than intentional illiteracy enforced upon kids with stupidly spelled names.I don’t think parents realise they are not naming a baby. They are forging an adult’s future. Every reaction that baby/child/teen gets to their name is creating the person they will be when they grow up. There’s an interesting read about the demographics and sociology of names, popular and unique, in the book Freakonomics. -
Annie from Faulco December 30, 2012
A friend was the most difficult of her siblings as a child (and many years thereafter). Her mum used to threaten that my friend’s own children would come back and bite her on the bum one day.
My friend had a gentle, placid, independent, helpful, respectful little boy who was no trouble at all. His younger brother could not be more different.
Her mum rings and asks, gleefully, “How’s my favourite grandchild? What’s his name again? No, don’t remind me! It’s Karma, isn’t it!? What’s he done today? And he’s not even three yet, is he?”
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Lyndel Petersen December 31, 2012
My name is Lyndel (rhymes with bell) as opposed to Lyndel (rhymes with bull). This has been the bane of my life. My sister is Corinne (rhymes with seen) as opposed to Corinne (rhymes with grin). Our maiden name was Annett – just to compound the issue as it was always pronounced ‘Annette’ but as I keep pointing out, there was no ‘e’ on the end to make it a long vowel sound. So yes, parents, please name your children wisely. As a teacher it grieves me to see what some of you have burdened your children with! From experience I understand and empathise with them daily.
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vanessay December 31, 2012
That lad.Levi Johnston, who is the father of Sarah Palin’s grandson named his second child, a girl, Breeze Barretta. I think this wins the prize as best bogan baby name ever!
I hope she got a stripper pole at her naming ceremony, that is the only place you can end up with a name like that!
To those who say such comments are elitist, remember Bob Geldorf saying he would love to see a Prime Minister named Fifi Trixibelle. when people questioned him about his kid’s names. I note that none of his daughters look like fulfilling this expectations.
If you want to distinguish yourself, then do something memorable or amazing.. Don’t let the only thing you are remembered for be giving your child an awkward name.
Having said all that, if you don’t like your name change it. My Nana was named Maude but called herself Sue all her life. She officially changed her name at 60 when she realised that all her pension cheques would be endorsed with her legal name. She had to go before some sort of official to do it and he asked her why she wanted to change her name from Maude. She just looked at him and said “Wouldn’t you?” -
Karen January 2, 2013
I recently saw a birth notice for a Gertie, that’s one old name that should have been left in the dark ages. I can cope with Gertrude, but this little girl doesn’t get the choice.
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Lucille January 2, 2013
In 8-9 months there will be kids named Fiscal and maybe a second name, Cliff.
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Robin January 2, 2013
I am female and my name is spelled ‘the boys way’. Over the course of my 50 years I have discovered that this has many advantages. Many a time I have gotten an interview for a job based on my qualifications and then seen the looks on the faces of recruiters at an interview when it was clear that their gender assumptions were wrong. I named my daughters with similarly androgynous names (usefull for female engineers).
Can recommend it! -
Jessie January 2, 2013
I have a very common name, ever since the year I was born it has made the list of most popular names for girls (and dogs in the shortened form of Jessie). Our Children are named after my Grandfather’s middle name Jamieson( GF was scornful and ungrateful “that’s a surname! he should have a proper Christian name” bless him!) and Lincoln was just a place I liked (actually my Grandmother did her midwifery training there)…For our baby girl my husband found her name in a 1970′s women’s weekly. Anissa.
My husband hates his name and uses only his initials wherever possible.
Our boys have been goign to a daycare and school in a lower socio- economic area (alright it’s totally houso and chockers with Bogans). there is a D’artagnan brother of Dante, Jordelle, Gypsy, Chase, Talon etc… -
Georgia January 2, 2013
Such a fun topic! I love my name now, but didn’t when I was little. I think many celebrities are in touch with their creativity and are just applying that to that naming. My nan used to have alove name for me (“Apple Blossom”) because my skin was so pure white and it got shortened and she’d just call me “Apple” – I loved it! So leave Gwenyth alone hee hee! I find names that are brands, or band names etc. a bit sad, but I guess the child can change it later, although it is probably a hard thing to do once you are used to it. We once had a friend “Lindy” who changed to “Lily” and being so close it was hard to get it right. I find names that have been tortured into the phonetic version a bit abysmal and almost a symptom of becoming a less-literate society.
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LT January 2, 2013
Screamed at a gorgeous little girl in Coles the other day………”Jolina, come here”
An Angelina fan perhaps?
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Lucille January 2, 2013
I remember an exchange student from the USA. His name was Randy, a popular name in the States, but his surname was Koch. He had a hard time in Oz (excuse the expression) with his name. I also knew a Mr. and Mrs. Taylor who called their child Jennifer, but she was mostly called Jenny.
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Petara January 2, 2013
I was born in the late 70′s and when I was a child I hated my name.
Ive NEVER known another Petara, its just one of those names that always gets a comment.
I work in customer service and at least half a dozen times a day maybe more, I will get. Oh your name is so different is it Greek or Italian… Its my parents names blended, my dad’s name is Peter and my mum’s name is Barbara, and I received the Pet and the ara. I love being different and unique it suits my personality… -
Philippa January 2, 2013
As a child I didn’t like my name. Philippa no one could ever spell it correctly and kids made nicknames I didn’t like to be called. You could also never get my name on personalised thing. hen I grew into it and got married. My married name is Phillips and I can honestly say no one ever forgets me these days. When it came to choosing our children’s names we chose something that couldn’t be shortened or had mean things made out of it. So now we have Bret and Erica. Still hapy with our choices, it suitted them as small chkldren and now they are adults they are still sensible names.
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JL January 3, 2013
As ‘Jenny-Lynn’ I’ve never come across anyone with the same name as me! Naturally throughout my teen years I shortened it to Jenny so I didn’t stand out, but reverted to my full name as a young adult. I’m always encountering quizzical looks and misspellings when I give my name, at times people remark on meeting me in person – “I thought you would be Chinese’! Having become quite partial to a double barelled name we toyed with calling our daughter ‘Lucinda-May’, but settled on Lucinda shortened often to Lulu.
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Jen Moon January 4, 2013
I hated my name as a kid, because my mother called me Jenny or worse, Jenno. My sister was given the beautiful name Linda, which incidentally means beautiful. Not fair. However since the beautiful Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lopez came along and a few others since then, I like my name. Just not Jenny. Anyway, my ex is in a Monaro car club and there is a man in the club with a daughter named Mona Rose. Guess she’ll grow up to marry Jaxxxxon….. My kids have good old fashioned names, Robert and Kathleen.
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Kerry January 5, 2013
Wendy Harmer, thankyou. Finally someone who agrees with me. I have hated hated hated my name since i was young. it almost disgusts me. Was going to change it when i was 22 but had to change my licence and bank details. Only two things back then(life was so much simpler!!) I have once again, just recently, been re-considering changing it . Now i really am inspired to change it and leave it well behind me. Hasta la Vista……( and, no, that is not my new name :p )
