TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE
Minutes after I learned that the purpose of life is ‘to be you’ I found myself committing identity fraud.
I was in the queue at Woolies, wondering if people still do that thing in supermarkets where they hook up for sex with strangers by hanging around aisle 9 with only bananas in their trolleys, when my ears caught the conversation of two American tourists chatting in front of me.
The blonde one, Kaylee, was lamenting the fact she was wasting her life (which did cause me to wonder just how long she’d actually been in the queue) and the brunette one, Teresa (obviously named after the Saint) was offering comfort by way of a piece of beef jerky.
Kaylee sobbed.
“Why are you crying?” Teresa implored. ‘I promise the beef jerky’s low fat!’
“I don’t know the purpose of my life,” whimpered Kaylee.
“Please control yourself,” begged Teresa, “negative emotions will ruin your hair.”
It was awkward. The queue wasn’t moving. Our supermarket has a self-checkout facility which is apparently ostensibly to save us all time, but actually always takes much longer due to the fact that no one in our neighbourhood, it seems, is familiar with manual labour, and this includes wiping a bar code across a glass screen.
But I was glad for the queue and the discussion because I’d coincidentally allocated the previous five weeks to finding ‘the purpose of life’ and the only thing I’d come up with was some toilet door graffiti that said ‘Jesus is coming… look busy.’
So thank heavens a stranger appeared in the queue to help Kaylee and me solve our conundrum. Let’s call him Bob (the bloke, not the conundrum.)
Now, I couldn’t tell if Bob, with his long hair, beard and shabby chic attire was a rock star or homeless. I also couldn’t tell if he was a genius or insane. This is not surprising, most women aren’t good judges of men. A friend of mine thought a guy was the strong silent intellectual type, so she married him and found out he was just dumb.
“Hello,” Bob said to me in the kind of extremely affectionate manner that usually means a bloke’s drunk.
“There’s a Jewish tale of a rabbi named Zusya who died. As he waited for God to appear, he grew nervous thinking about how little he’d done with his life.
“He began to imagine that God was going to ask him why he hadn’t been more like Moses, or say, ‘Why weren’t you Solomon or why weren’t you David?’ But when God appeared, the rabbi was surprised, because God simply asked, ‘Why weren’t you Zusya?’”
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10 Responses to this article
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muttering housewife October 26, 2012
but how do you pick which me? The crazy cat lady who dresses in velvet? The judgmental mute? The gym junkie semivegetarian? Which one will I be today?
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Marnie October 26, 2012
There are so many parts to me that whatever I do I am me.
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Motherhugger October 26, 2012
My 10 year old daughter angsts over how to be her true self. I blame tv talent shows. She’s a philosophical and existential child. At 10 I was busy collecting pictures of Abba.
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Benster October 26, 2012
Or you could have grown up with a mother like mine, who said life affirming things including “you think they like you, but they don’t really know you”. Perfect training to make you completely unable to be yourself in case anyone noticed and decided they didn’t like you after all!
Still in therapy….-
Lady and / or a tramp. November 4, 2012
My mother once said looked like a ‘bar girl’ ( In India these are young girls who dance in bars for money and are often involved in prostitution) because my lipstick was a little too red. Also she would walk in to my room and tell me that I looked like a crazy person whenever I left my hair open. So much for my self esteem :-s There were many such occasions where I was mocked about my appearance or ‘manners’ especially when I tried to assert myself. It was either a verbal threat or a beating.
Did a bit of counselling here and there in my late teens (privately, as in no one knew about it at home) and was advised to become more independent and move out once I got a job. Not quite there yet but haven’t given up.
It’s sad that the people who are supposed to look out for you are the ones who mess with you the most.
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Shiralee October 27, 2012
I have learnt that I’m who I am. People areeither going to love me or hate me no mater what I do.
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Cheez October 27, 2012
At the end of the day, we’re all ending up dead so nothing really matters. Be yourself, be somebody else, it’s all good (and temporary).
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Trish October 27, 2012
I totally see the resemblance . It is hard to be you (me) when every one around you places expectations on you (me) to be someone else …improved !
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Rhoda October 27, 2012
At the end of the day, we are buried, dead and gone. Make the most of who you are and enjoy your life. Leave anyone spoiling it or destroying it behind. You only get one chance and it’s a beautiful world.
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Eddie October 27, 2012
I am really enjoying your writing on the hoopla.
Thanks!
