TAKING THE PISTE
Women of my age had a bad habit of giving up sport around the time we started to notice boys.
I wasn’t one of them. I think I knew instinctively that my passion for sport would outlast my interest in the callow chaps of my adolescence.
Such was my ability, or more precisely lack of it, I was never going to need a trophy cabinet, but I always loved activity, I like a challenge, thrive on competition and adore being outdoors.
I even took up skiing in my 30s for all those reasons, and I wanted to introduce my two boys to as many sports as they possible. The love affair with the white powdery stuff lasted until two seasons ago… then I meet Kurt, an instructor from Austria working in our ski fields.
Kurt was obviously less than impressed by my derring-do on the slopes. “You”, he said accusingly after watching me strut my stuff down the slope, “you like to go slow”.
And that, for those of you not familiar with Alpine sports, is the ultimate insult on a ski field.
It’s akin to calling an Aussie rules player a jib. I was banished me to a lower-level lesson, prompting sniggers all round my erstwhile class, especially from the teenage boys. Up until that moment, I’d been feeling pretty damn good about myself; after it, I had a new-found appreciation of why my school friends and countless other girls and women have sat on the sidelines rather take to the playing field.
I gave skiing a miss last year. Sure, I had plenty of ready-made excuses – too busy with work, not enough spare change, but the truth is that this girl, like lots of other girls through all ages, was not about to make a fool of herself again.
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8 Responses to this article
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Natalie May 23, 2012
Nothing wrong with going slow – the faster you go the more time you spend in lift queues!
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Debbie May 23, 2012
Going fast(er) is all about adrenalin – if adrenalin makes you feel good, I guess fast is what you want. Adrenalin makes me cry (my version of fight or flight) so I prefer a speed which allows me to enjoy the sensation of movement, the landscape and a general feeling of good to be alive and in nature.
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Mary Watson May 23, 2012
Kay O’Sullivan I am with you. I too am putting my foot down. The one without the pins and plates in the ankle. I am taking a stand. And I am not alone. Skiing mums have had enough, we want our own space. We want a Mummy Ski Slope.
A Mummy Ski Slope just for us. A long, groomed run nestled among the white snow gums glittering under the canopy of a blindingly blue sky. A dedicated Mummy Mountain with exclusive membership. A place where we can ski, turn and glide without fearing for our lives. A place where we can feel safe and not have to compromise our style. A peaceful, testosterone free haven away from the seething mass of queue jumping humanity.
This winter wonderland will be just for us. There will be strict entrance criteria to mothers who want to ski. Mothers who have organized their families and wrestled with parkas, pants, skivvies, thermals, goggles, gloves, beanies, helmets, skis, poles, boots, sun block, lip balm, anti freeze and the price of lift tickets. Mums who now deserve to have a little fun.
The Mummy Ski Slope will be closed to the general public. It will not have to endure ski instructors calling out “pizza yar” to ducklings of snow ploughing ankle biters. There will be no beginners. Access will be denied anyone under forty. We won’t be exposed to bodies wearing skins and racing bibs. Blurring hurtling hordes of kids will not be entertained. There will be no Kurts with their disparaging remarks.
And …drum roll, there will be NO snowboarders. Totally banned! We will not have to dodge and second-guess the moves of visually impaired riders. Just like surfers they will be cast aside into their own area out of the flags of the Mummy Ski Slope to wreak havoc upon each other.
We will be able to hear the wind through the trees instead of the rasping drawn out crunch of the approaching boarder. We will not have to shiver with shoulders tensed and eyes darting everywhere. We can relax and enjoy the scenery. We can concentrate on our rhythm and pick up speed feeling confidant that will not become victims at every turn.
We will not be cut off and sent sprawling down the hill in a tangle of boots, boards and skis. We will not need rides in banana boats and hours getting our bones set.
The Mummy Ski Slope will rule. We deserve a break! But not the kind many of us are getting.
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KayO'Sullivan May 23, 2012
Mary, I’m coming with you to the Mummy Ski Slope. But one thing is missing from your almost perfect picture of it. We need a warm and cosy bar at the bottom of the run, stocking only the very best pinot at bargain bottom prices. No snow boarders allowed in, of course.
How does that sound now? -
Mary Watson May 23, 2012
Sounds perfect. I just remembered my first ski lesson ! ‘
” Bottoms up the hill,boobs down the hill.”
So bottoms up, at the bottom in our VIP mummy lounge. Woo Hoo. I wish.
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Keziah Hill May 23, 2012
I regret so much never being sporty. It makes ageing a great deal more difficult as I try and develop a regular exercise habit now.
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The Huntress May 23, 2012
I was so completely useless at sport in school that I just gave up going. I think I managed to attend three classes in all of year 10.
I did take up fencing a few years back and that was fantastic. I was the only woman, but as you state our skill can overide the strength of a man and that’s what I ended up working to my advantage. I can’t fence at the moment due to an ongoing knee injury, but I can’t wait to get back into it.
Otherwise it’s scuba diving for me. No competition, just good fun.
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zbd July 29, 2012
no snowboarders? no offence, but that is ridiculous. i’m a 40 y.o. female longterm snowboarder (and instructor) and i take umbrage at that particular part of your fantasy. it doesn’t matter what type of plank is under someone, respect gets respect and most of the time when a skier blames a snowboarder for turning into them it’s because they haven’t bothered to take the time to understand snowboarding and how to co-exist on the hill with them. remember, give way below and beside, so if a snowboard turns into you, it’s because you either rode too close to their blindside without calling out that you were passing or because you failed to give way. your attitude is infectious and that is a bad one to have on the hill as we all have the same right to be there. that said, i wish you long and continued enjoyment on the hill, no matter what you ride
