prostitution

WOULD YOU PAY FOR SEX?

Hiring a hooker, an escort or a courtesan has long been a man’s domain. But does that mean women aren’t going there?

Well, not quite. Sex tourism, where predominantly older women can and do buy the ‘boyfriend experience’ at exotic resorts in Jamaica, Kenya and Turkey, is thriving.

And closer to home, male escort agencies are popping up in Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane.

Women who hire escorts may not be shouting it from the rooftops – save for singer Sinead O’Connor, who famously admitted Googling male escorts when she was on tour due to sexual frustration and boredom with her vibrator. However a small, growing number have or would pay for sex, according to studies.

In New Zealand, one study found that one in 4 women would be willing to hire a male prostitute.

Sarah Jones* and Michelle Smith*, owners of newly launched Aphrodisiac Male Escorts in Melbourne, also gleaned interesting stats from their anonymous surveys.

“We polled women between 29-59 and found that 16 percent had used an escort – and 10 percent didn’t know such a service existed but would consider using it,” said Sarah, adding that their goal is to provide women with the same freedoms as men – and a safe, reputable service to tap into.

Who are their clients, you may ask?

According to Sarah and Michelle – mums and long-time friends who wish to remain anonymous more for their teenage kids’ sakes than their own – some women are bicurious. Others are married and seeking a couple experience.

Other clients may be business owners with no time for a relationship. Women in sexless marriages or whose partners have sexual dysfunction – and may hire an escort with their partner’s blessing. For some, paying for no-strings sex is a better prospect than online dating or hooking up in a bar.

Other clients, say the pair, are clear on their needs: they just want a guy who can give them an orgasm.

“We’re baffled by women who ring up and say they’ve never had one,” says Sarah.

“One woman who rang up was 48, had recently gotten divorced and had never had an orgasm!”

On that note, the idea of post-divorce gift vouchers is just ‘tacky’, the pair says, but they’ve had women who suggest it could be a great idea – so you never know.

Although the agency’s focus is on women aged 40-60, they’ve also been approached by women as young as 25 – and by singletons not happy about going solo to yet another family gathering. “Women may ring up saying, ‘I have to see my family, they’re on my case about not dating,” says Sarah.

The client gives the male companion a briefing and back story – and hey presto, Christmas goes off without any awkward questions from Great Aunt Margery.

However, while companionship is part of the package, most clients – 60 percent – simply want sex that’s passionate, erotic and all about them, say Sarah and Michelle, who pick the escort on the client’s behalf.

“It’s almost like a dating agency and it’s worked really well. Some women don’t have time to go out and hope for the best – only to end up with a drunk guy on top of her and snoring a few minutes later. They want the conversation. They want to be touched. For many women whose lives are about everyone else, women who are time-poor… it’s like a mini-holiday.”

Their hand-picked escorts go through rigorous interviews and, much like Ray Drecker in TV show Hung, they’re predominantly single blokes who’ve never worked in the sex industry before.

“They’re everyday guys: entrepreneurs, accountants, IT guys, uni students,” says Michelle. “We looked for specific guys who have reverence for women, where age is no barrier. Where size is no barrier.”

 

A Japanese male sex worker and his client, 1788 by Kitagawa Utamaro.
 

Roberto, a 36-year-old single Spaniard who now lives in Melbourne, is one of them. He’s a website designer by day and a male companion by night, hired for everything from accompanying a client to dinner, giving her a massage, cooking for her at home or meeting her at a hotel for sex.

“It’s a myth that women don’t pay for companionship and sex,” he says. “They do and it’s probably because their partner isn’t up to scratch or doesn’t listen to them. Women seek us out because they want to be desired and they’re not getting that anywhere else.”

What do Sarah and Michelle’s loved ones think? Sarah’s a single mum, but Michelle’s husband, a GP, is a fan. “He sees a lot of people coming in with STIs from one-night stands and he thinks it’s a great, safe alternative for women,” she says.

For women who’d fork out hundreds for a day spa experience, an escort is another type of pampering, says Isabelle*, a professional women in her late 30s who books an escort once or twice a month.

“I guess I view it as a bit of a treat,” she says. “I got sick of going out / going online and trying to meet people. The difference with having sex with an escort is that they’re definitely going to be able to perform, it’s guaranteed safe sex and they’re never selfish or lazy.”

Would she tell her friends?

“A few of my friends were complaining about being horny so I suggested it to them but most of them think they’d be too shy to try it. I just told them they don’t know what they’re missing.”

 

Would you pay for sex?

What are you missing in your sex life that you would seek out from an escort?


*Names have been changed. For information, visit AMescorts.

 
*Rachel Smith is a Sydney-based advice columnist and journalist who writes about health, relationships and lifestyle. She’s fielded thousands of questions on love, sex and dating at www.realitychick.com.au – and isn’t ashamed to admit that she considers Thomas Jane from Hung a total spunkrat. You can follow her on Twitter and on Facebook.

 

 

Follow us on

25 Comments

  • Reply December 5, 2012

    alleyb

    This article fails to address the fact that not all women want sex with men. Actually it occurred to me that what these women are looking for can be found with another woman. Orgasms, (yep multiples) conversation, companionship, someone to cook, to feel wanted…the list is endless. Maybe I just got lucky.

    • Reply December 5, 2012

      Rachel Smith

      True alleyb. The agency does have a female escort on its books, but the escorts are predominently men.

  • Reply December 5, 2012

    FerrylBerryl

    16% of women have used a male escort? I find that hard to believe. Who did they poll? This was hardly a random, weighted study.

    In saying that though I can see a role for this service in the same way I can see a role for female escorts and gay escorts. For many years men who were lonely, dissatisfied and horny have had easy access to business like sex and women certainly feel all those things too.

    Personally, this service has no role to play in my life but I’m hardly surprised that there is a market for it.

  • Reply December 5, 2012

    Alison

    Completely fascinating! I love the stereotype myth busting that only men desire NSA sex and I can completely see why a woman might pay for hedonistic her-focused sex with an attentive and experienced lover, which is far more than one can be guaranteed with your average one night stand? Men have been doing it for centuries – why on earth can’t we?

    A great read! Love it.

  • Reply December 5, 2012

    Tess

    @FerrylBerryl,
    16% had used an escort – doesn’t say if this is male or female, but from what it says elsewhere in the article, it would seem some of these were having a threesome with their male partner, so likely a female.

  • Reply December 5, 2012

    The Huntress

    Would I use an escort?

    Have vaguely considered it, due to the sole frustration of being in a sexless marriage. And not just sexless, devoid of affection. My husband is a wonderful man, but our relationship seems to be best friends who happen to sleep in the same bed. So far I won’t do it just because I made a vow to be faithful and I’m having a damn good shot at it. But if my husband said to me one day that there is no chance of us having a sex life ever again I would hope that he wouldn’t be so awful as to say that he didn’t want me having sex altogether. Because I do miss it a lot, everything from holding hands, to kissing, cuddling right through to sex. But for now it’s not a valid option for me. Maybe in the future.

    • Reply October 12, 2014

      james

      there’s always hope.

  • Reply December 5, 2012

    Wonderfly

    Yeah I can see how good that would be. How often does the sex peter out between couples because men get lazy or are bored by having sex with the same woman.\. Contrary to the way men present they often talk themselves up and aren’t really up for sex all that often. And there’s the other aspect of male lovers – a big percentage of them are pretty average in bed.

  • Reply December 5, 2012

    Lou

    This reads as an advertisement for male escort services. Sure, it might be the reality for some people, but thanks Rachel for writing an article which makes paying for casual hetero sex easy to access, friendly, and without awkwardness. This is obviously the way that modern, professional women do it.

  • Reply December 6, 2012

    Tony W

    Thanks Rachel, I’ll point your article out to my sister. She’s been single for years and recently mentioned the idea of male escorts. I told her to go for it but she could probably do with a bit of encouragement from women.

    Funnily enough I’ve never used a pro myself, although I’ve been nagged plenty of times by drunken mates over the years. I don’t have a problem with it, just never fancied being on the clock, and getting shooed out afterwards!

  • Reply December 6, 2012

    jonah stiffhausen

    A friend of mine had the idea of establishing a mature age escort business (men) for women who require this sort of service. Alas, she’s a procrastinator and is yet to act on it.
    I was looking forward to working for her, although she’s concerned my animal magnetism could lead to unwanted dalliances and result in her losing or having to share the best thing that’s ever happened to her. (she’s the jealous type)
    However, always acutely conscious of the need to reduce costs, why don’t we drop the middleman and you get in touch with me directly?
    Ladies, I’m yours.

  • Reply December 6, 2012

    MoniqueN

    I like this article, it’s important to de-stigmatise the use of escort agencies, there are a great many valid reasons for women to use these services as many of the previous posters have pointed out. And lets face it, it’s far safer than picking up some guy in a bar and taking him home with you.

    I considered using this service during a long period when I was single but ultimately didn’t go through with it, but I think that access to clean safe sexual partners guaranteed not to get attached or misunderstand the nature of the arrangement, would be well and truly worth the money.

  • Reply December 6, 2012

    Diana Simmonds

    I’m glad someone above has mentioned that female “escorts” are just as valid for women as a male. And this isn’t some new invention btw – a lot of older women and married women have discovered the pleasures of intuitive, knowledgeable sex years ago. As “wonderfly” says – a lot of blokes are pretty average in bed and they don’t have a clue!

  • Reply December 6, 2012

    ess

    Jonah, with a name like Stiffhausen im sure youll be just fine.
    Hooplah, i love you! Another great article.

  • Reply December 6, 2012

    ro.watson

    Just wondering~do we all pay for sex,one way and another? The indirect costs of maintaining a sexual relationship,or not, as the case may be. I am trying to remember which feminist author first made that point. I saw a funny theatre piece on this one time~ about the cost of relationships~ the shopping, the dates, the outings, the maintenance, the therapy,the separation, the losses and divorce. Oh well.

  • Reply December 6, 2012

    ro.watson

    That feminist author said something controversial and challenging~ like “we are all in the sex industry”…

  • Reply December 6, 2012

    gardnerm

    If I have to pay for it, he wanna be good.

  • Reply December 6, 2012

    ro.watson

    gardnerm~ you are funny!!

  • Reply December 6, 2012

    Escort Agencies

    Good Article ! i love this post.I’ve been working on setting up an escort agency based on Sydney.

    Escort Agencies

  • Reply December 6, 2012

    ro.watson

    Not that I would go in for direct payments~or such an engagement~ but I am wondering about consumer protection and guarantees, in the light of gardnem’s comments?

  • Reply December 6, 2012

    ro.watson

    Whoops. meant gardnerm’s comments.

  • […] of this interview first appeared in a piece I wrote at The Hoopla titled Would You Pay For Sex? The Q&A above is with a regular client of Melbourne-based male escort agency, Aphrodisiac Male […]

  • Reply March 15, 2013

    Paul Weider

    Great article and congratulations to Sarah and Michelle.

    I have been a male companion for the past 8 months and I find myself very lucky to be surrounded by women of all walks of life. Being a male companion isn’t easy, specially when I see women in distress or hopeless. I have been raise by three sisters and its important to listen to them when they need you. I usually comfort them by listen to their emotional and physical needs. I can honestly say that all women are beautiful and intelligent. I have the best job in the world. Again, thank you for this amazing article.

  • Reply March 21, 2013

    Cooshla

    The opportunity for repressed or yearning women to have a “safe and seductive haven” to consider is important,. In my opinion, to have the experience of exploring and expanding and understanding your own sexuality to heights unimaginable is an opportunity to deepen your awareness of yourself in sex/love/spirituality.
    There is nothing more pleasing for a woman than to be desired and passionately engaging in sensual and erotic sex with a partner who feels the same.

  • […] Would You Pay for Sex? […]

Leave a Reply