EVEN MAGPIES GET THE BLUES
Sometimes having a partner who is a football and, worse, a Collingwood, agnostic, can bring a new dimension to obsession.
I was huffing, agitatedly texting, and puffing about the potential impact on Collingwood morale of the likely move by Mick Malthouse to the Carlton coaching job.
Magpies premiership coach, Mick Malthouse: Now a Carlton man. Pic via News Ltd.
“What’s the fuss?” she asked.
I replied: “Well, imagine if a First World War general had defected to the other side? Something like that.”
She gave me a “you-really-do-get-stranger-as-you-get-older” look, and said “okay darling”.
I abhor the application of war metaphors to peacetime happenings – especially in politics and sport. So I was a little shocked to hear myself say this.
Later I lunched with mates. One – a True Believer – was uncharacteristically distracted from the food and wine.
Someone asked: what’s wrong? It was, he said, the “whole Malthouse thing”.
The other diners (among them a St Kilda supporter who couldn’t possibly understand) looked quizzically. Then he explained: “Imagine if a First World War general . . .”
Snap.
Okay. And it has come to pass. Malthouse, the revered coach of Collingwood’s 2010 Premiership team, is at Carlton.
Clearly this could cut deeply into the emotions of Magpies supporters and some players.
Superfically such emotion belies the unsentimental big-bucks reality of modern AFL. Good coaches like Carlton’s (formerly) own Brett Ratten are summarily dismissed although they have reversed the club’s win-loss ration – despite inheriting shallow player lists, lacklustre club cultures and injuries.
Good coaches are replaced even if, like Ratten, they are true sons of the club and the replacement is an outsider. The colour of the guernsey was long ago eclipsed by the colour of money and the statisticians’ clipboard – or IPad. Tenure for coaches is short; three years is considered time enough to u-turn Titanics.
Conversely, the emotional reaction to Malthouse’s move represents another colourful element in a 120-year geographic and socioeconomic rivalry that has manifested on the oval.
Collingwood was “The Flat”, a drain-less slum that sloped down to the Yarra, poisoned by the tanning and candle factories, breweries and canneries that belched smoke from dozens of chimneys. It was an oppressively malignant environment for citizens.
Melbourne’s winter rains made it worse, washing the filth and sewerage from higher suburbs – yes, Carlton – down onto the flat to stagnate.
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11 Responses to this article
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Dirty Pierre September 11, 2012
The last para doesn’t stop this being shockingly tasteless …
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Matt September 11, 2012
As a proud NSWelshman I can happily report that the vast majority of NSW and QLD (60% of the Aust population btw) are blissfully ignorant about anything AFL. I know this may come as a shock to people from the southern states who think that AFL dominates the country but just so you know
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Calloway Luddington September 11, 2012
It comes as no shock Matt, that you are blissfully ignorant about anything.
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Matt September 11, 2012
I’m ignorant about what you posted if that helps
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Carole September 11, 2012
Just so you know Matt. We Victorians don’t give a rats arse what you & yours think about our great game.
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Matt September 11, 2012
We’re well aware if that up here Carole. But we don’t pretend the entire country follows our game
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sami September 11, 2012
Hi Matt, Hi Carole… don’t forget there’s an entire western half of the continent over here too
it’s not just northern states and southern states! Geez. We still exist (even if we are 20 years and 2 hours behind the rest of the country).And Matt, we know not everyone follows AFL. But that doesn’t mean we will love it any less. Deal with it 8)
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Bluegirl September 11, 2012
Yes I’m not sure how all of us Blues fans are going to adjust to this either.
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sami September 11, 2012
As a Blues fan I do feel sad about giving Ratten the boot
I feel like they should’ve given him more of a chance. We had such potential at the start of this season… -
Maggie Nash September 28, 2012
Nothing like a story featuring Collingwood to polarise the community!
As a proud third generation Magpie, I can only add…Mick Malthouse gave the PIES a sense of professionalism and the pride in themselves and a fierce drive to succeed. It is precisely because of that determination that Collingwood will be able to handle anything Mick throws at them through Carlton. The set them up to cope with anything…and I for one wish him well. But not well enough to beat the PIES!
