I’M SO OVER THE “MUMMY WARS”
In the future, conversations with new mums will sound like this.
â€śSo, howâ€™s it going?â€ť
â€śOh, well, just really, average, you know? Erm, normal parenting stuff. She does a bit of â€“ ah â€“ sleeping â€“ and em â€“ feeding. Makes baby type noises.â€ť
â€śSo is she an easy baby? Is she sleeping through yet? Doing controlled crying? What about her appetite? Are you breastfeeding?â€ť
â€śYou know, every day is â€“ er – different. Feeding â€“ well â€“ Iâ€™m mixing it up. Settling â€“ gee â€“ I donâ€™t want to put a label on it. Hubby and I are experimenting with a few things to see what works.â€ť
â€śAnd schooling. Do you have her on a list yet? Or are you going public?â€ť
â€śAhem. I should be going now â€“ ah â€“ I think I can hear her making those â€“ erm â€“ baby noises again.â€ť (Runs away.)
Itâ€™s no wonder women wonâ€™t speak frankly about motherhood.
Every word is analysed, categorised, and packed into boxes marked Not Good Enough.
The latest skirmish in the so-called “Mummy Wars” (I hate that expression) was sparked by an interview with Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer (picturedÂ right, with her child).
The superstar of Silicon Valley said her baby was â€śway easier than everyone made it out to beâ€ť while being honoured as one of Fortuneâ€™s most powerful women. This online assault follows the same trajectory as that following her shortened maternity leave.
It makes me want to scream, â€śEnough!â€ť
Whereâ€™s the outcry about men who are back at work â€śtoo soonâ€ť after the birth of their kids?
Certainly, women need time to recover from the birth, establish breastfeeding, and bond with their babies. But every woman is different; every baby is different.
Some women need weeks; for others itâ€™s years.
Of course money makes it easier. Marissa Mayer is among the one percent. She does not represent the average mother.
According to one blogger, â€śSheâ€™s showing great disrespect to women who don’t have it as easy as she does, and are certainly working harder to raise their families. She stuck her silver plated foot in her mouth, now she has to deal with the blowback like a grownup.â€ť
But she hasnâ€™t criticised other women; sheâ€™s simply spoken of her own experience. Imagine the backlash if sheâ€™d said it was â€śhardâ€ť.
â€śWomen canâ€™t have it all,â€ť the headline would have read.
On the other side of the coin, Mitt Romneyâ€™s wife Ann â€“ a stay at home mum â€“ copped abuse for tweeting about how tough it was to raise five boys.
(If I had five boys, Iâ€™d be rocking in a corner with pencils stuck up my nose. But thatâ€™s another story.)
This a war in which no one wins.
One of my colleagues at Sky News, Jacinta Tynan, was shocked by the response to her article about baby bliss after the birth of her son, Jasper. She received hundreds of angry emails, comments and tweets.
Later, she wrote about the challenges of juggling two kids.
|Page 1 of 2||next >>|