jimmycover

MATE, STOP THE VIOLENCE

Sunday, November 25th is White Ribbon Day and the UN International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women.

Why does this day matter?

In Australia, one woman is killed every week by a current or former partner. One in three women over the age of 15 report physical or sexual violence at some time in their lives. And domestic and family violence is the major cause of homelessness for women and their children, and a recognised form of child abuse.

The Australian White Ribbon campaign website invites men to swear an oath and tell the world that violence against women is not ...

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52 Comments

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    jonah stiffhausen

    Another unfounded propaganda exercise by feminists demanding more state intrusion into private lives on spurious grounds. All DV studies show that women are equally culpable. The attempt to impose collective guilt on sections of society is totalitarianism, pure and simply.
    You girls are all girlish Don Quixotes. Instead of tilting at windmills and imaginary slights, why don’t you get off your collective backsides and help a sister in real need? I speak of course of the wrongly imprisoned, – shamefully so – Schapelle Corby. See http://www.expendable.tv/2011/11/col-chapman-interview.html
    This poor woman has languished in a cell for nearly a decade because of the connivance of the state – or big government – which you shriekers are insistent on bringing about. Shame on you all. Remember, power corrupts and absolute power ….. see Lord Acton

    • Reply November 25, 2012

      Pseudonym

      Jonah, I’m going to try to engage you as someone who isn’t a troll.

      You’re right that many studies do seem to indicate that women abuse their male partners about as often as men abuse their female partners in places like Australia. If you’re familiar with the studies, you’ll know that there are also some differences in how the abuse is typically carried out. Women, for example, tend to emotionally abuse more than men, where men tend to sexually abuse more than women.

      Here’s the thing, though: Something like 70% of assaults committed against women are committed by a male intimate partner (former or current), where something like 70% of assaults committed against men are committed by a male stranger.

      Moreover, when a man is assaulted by a stranger, it tends to be a one-off event, and it’s invariably reported. When a woman is assaulted by a partner, it tends to be part of a pattern, and is all too often not reported.

      However, the picture is even more stark when you look at the global view. Think of dowry deaths, so-called “honour kilings”, forced abortions, forced prostitution, female genital mutilation, war rape… I think you can see where I’m going with this.

      The White Ribbon pledge is a small act which may only help in a few cases, but that alone is worth it. The fact that it is such a small act which requires practically no effort means that it wins on any cost-benefit analysis. Tackling an issue like sexual assault in prisons, which is an issue which disproportionately affects men, would require a significantly greater effort.

      One final thought.

      You may well be active in some diversity, anti-violence or anti-oppression movement. However, most people who leave comments similar to yours are not, which makes it just a little disingenuous, and gives the appearance that such people don’t actually care about the issues, but just want to stop or derail the discussion.

      If this criticism doesn’t apply to you, I apologise for the insinuation, and you can disregard this. If it does, you may want to think about this.

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    Jane Caro

    Oh dear. Great article Tara, shame about the weird, irrelevant & downright rude first comment.
    Attempting to divert the discussion to something else so quickly reveals just how important it is that we don’t allow that to happen.

    • Reply November 24, 2012

      Carole

      I agree totally with Jane. The first contributor should be shunned by all the women in his life for peddling such errant nonsense. In Australia, a woman is murdered by her partner/exp-partner/acquaintance every five days. I am grateful to all the fantastic men in the community who support White Ribbon Day. I had the good fortune to be at a White Ribbon event yesterday and was so encouraged by the diversity of men who recognise that eradicating men’s violence against women starts with them. And I’m married to one of those fantastic men.

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    Squidy

    Jonah, so this is about stopping violence against hundreds of thousands of, if not millions, of women and your main concern is a woman who is jail for drug trafficking? You’re saying women who are beaten or murdered by their partners are somehow a sideline issue?

    Would you mind explaining how its unfounded? I’d never raise a hand to my fiancé, however I know there are men out there who are capable, and unfortunately more an willing to do so.

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    vanessay

    The appearance of the first comment shows a basic problem that women have (I include myself here). We are too damned polite! Why not block this troll, he is not, in this circumstance entitled to his two cents worth. This is thinly disguised hate speech (Since when are women equally culpable? I do not think there are women walking around going “Hi ex-partner or current partner please rape, murder or just beat the crap out of me and just for fun do it in front of the kids) and is also factually incorrect. And not even the guts to post under his real name. What a man!

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    Sharon

    Jonah seems to have some trouble with comprehension. White Ribbon day is an initiative by men. If you cant grasp that simple concept it’s hardly surprising you believe the rest of the bullshit you spouted above in your comment.

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    Jess

    I don’t know how I haven’t realised until now how gorgeous Jimmy Barnes is! Shallow comment given the topic, I know… But wow.

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    Jayneen Sanders

    Johah has obviously never seen a defenceless woman punched in the face by her male partner while her child cowers in the corner and watches — awaiting her turn.

    • Reply November 26, 2012

      Pseudonym

      To be fair to Jonah, most of us here have probably never seen this. We’re the lucky ones.

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    Damien Otis

    You know, Jonah, the denying of the voice of women and feminism is part of what allows violence against women to thrive. At your core you’re probably a “decent” guy, until you start running your mouth. There is violence perpetrated against women all over the place. Much of it is done in private by abusers who know how to hide their terrible actions from public view to avoid getting caught. In an environment of terror like that, it’s already difficult enough to speak up. We don’t need guys like you promoting denial.

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    Katie

    The troll on this blog seems extreme, but a number of men are not impressed by this issue, claiming victimisation and under-reporting of women’s partner violence against men..

    I hesitate to provide a link (and it is mainstream media), but I have been shocked at the extent of hostility on that particular site promoting White Ribbon Day, which has now been taken off the front page.

    We need to remain alert that there is a range of attitudes out there.

    • Reply November 24, 2012

      Carz

      Oh he’s not extreme at all. In fact I would call him a very moderate troll. If you want to see extreme ones go and hang out at some of the mainstream media run opinion sites.

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    me

    Maybe Jonah could call WIRE (Women’s Info and Resources Exchange) or Women’s Domestic Violence Crisis Service of Victoria and speak to them about the many calls they get about domestic violence. I am sure they could provide him with some statistics and articles if he wants to educate himself.

    I don’t know if Shapelle Corby is innocent or not. But Jonah has just cast a lot of doubt re the credibility of that website due to his ignorance re domestic violence.

    Tara, I have no doubt regarding your sincerity re the domestic violence cause. However, I am curious to know how you feel about promoting your crime books via sexually provocative covers, thus linking violence and sex. You must have thought about it so I am wondering what your take is…

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    Deb

    Jonah proves again that it will take the all those other men we women know are out there ( and in HUGE numbers) to re educate men like Jonah. The Jonahs of the world couldnt be less interested in hearing it from a woman (or hearing anything much from a woman actually…). Whenever I read something inanne and often hateful from a man like Jonah, it makes me love and appreciate the many wonderful men in my life even more.

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    ro.watson

    Thank you to the men who stand up against violence against women. Women have been doing this a long time~ usually framing this action in terms of power and control. Physical violence or such threats are obvious in the wounds left on women. Psychological, emotional and social violence leave a lot of damage too.

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    Rhoda

    It’s scary to think how much contempt some men have for women. It seems to be at its most blatant in those gangsta rap music videos – the hip hop culture which asserts masculinity by demeaning women. Show-offs really and most probably fractured individuals but women have no hope of standing up to men like that.

    Violence of all description is a real and potent threat in mainstream USA and I hope we can head it off here although when I see young teenage girls brawling on the evening news I have to wonder where we’re all heading.

    It’s important that men recognize that violence towards women is a symptom of a sado-masochist culture that invites dominance and subordination but there is much more to all this and we need to address it. Men and women together.

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    me

    @ Rhoda “violence towards women is a symptom of a sado-masochist culture that invites dominance and subordination but there is much more to all this and we need to address it. Men and women together.”

    I agree. Women who buy into the sad masochistic culture in order to feel sexually powerful/attractive are catering to the (usually) male appetite that associates sex and violence. I believe this helps make violence towards women more acceptable. It also helps those who claim that women ‘ask for it’.

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    ro.watson

    Of course there are all kinds of socio-cultural things that feed into our personal psychology and awareness around “choice”. For example~ the notion that “testing” ourselves and our relationships may be an honourable thing~ when it might be masochistic. I say this as someone who suffers post traumatic stress from rapes by men strangers which was re-invigorated when a partner left me. Not easy all round…In social isolation some of us take comfort from substances. Not a clever way to deal with troubles…as Jummy knows.

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    Nat

    This is a wonderful initiative. For me, the strongest part is the “not be quiet” clause.
    Andrew okeefe is my new celeb crush after heribg him speak so eleoquently on the subject. He challenges people who question him.
    One story I heard was of a lady assaulted by a stranger in broad daylight. When questioned, one of the bystanders said they didn’t intervene be caused they thought it was “just a domestic”. How is it ever “just a domestic?” Abuse is abuse. Assault is assault, no matter who the perpretraor is.

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    ro.watson

    Yes Nat~ intervene at your own risk. I have intervened, personally and professionally~ and suddenly gob-smacked by a lack of back-up. Some people are better planners around leaving~ like after the decision to leave, get outside support before you leave..this helps both your reputation and means of escape..

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    Rhoda

    Exactly so Nat. So all of us need to be empowered to speak up when we see and hear the violence. Any sort of violence really because it feeds into the cycle. It shouldn’t be acceptable in any way, shape or form. Calling it domestic violence gives the perpetrators an excuse. And violence begets violence. Where will it end if we don’t do something.

    Full marks to those who participate today and show support.

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    Ruby

    Affects us all. Not Effects us all. Something can have an effect, but it affects you as a person.

    Aside from that, yes, I agree with your post.

    • Reply November 24, 2012

      Wendy Harmer

      This was a typographic error, apologies.

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    ro.watson

    Anyway~ police know where homicides and sexual assaults generally come from these days and nights~ indeed, this is often their front line~ in domestic situations..

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    ro.watson

    Same as it ever was.

  • Reply November 24, 2012

    sue Bell

    I feel so sad and angry about domestic violence and nothing seems to change attitudes. Under the Kirner government my music partner and I performed all over Victoria with songs about domestic violence along with social workers and police. The government was really proactive, we met many men who had been violent but who had had the support needed to change. Now so many years later the situation is even worse and sexism and misogyny seem to rule everywhere. The rise and rise of religious fanatics and the religious right in every country will make this worse. In the sixties and seventies I was stupid enough to believe that the rise of feminism would release men and women from the chains of paternalistic thinking and behaviour where men were king. Now what will become of the future, violence will continue to rise as will misogyny.

  • Reply November 25, 2012

    Kathryn Fox

    Great article Tara,

    Like radiation poisioning – a known cause of cancer – violence against women directly affects generations to come. A female child in the home of a violent man is 4-5 times more likely to be abused by her future partner/s, and a male child is equally more likely to abuse his future partner/s.

    Cancer has genetic links, but violence is far more malignant, more likely to spread to future generations, and often more difficult to ‘diagnose’ by doctors.

    We are all so sympathetic to a cancer sufferer, yet a large proportion of society seems to close its eyes, ears and minds to female victims of violence.
    Friends and family don’t hesitate rally to a cancer sufferer’s side. Tragically, female victims of violence are often isolated or even ostracised.

    Developing cancer isn’t a choice. It occurs when nature goes wrong and we rush to identify the possible cause.

    There is a pandemic of violence against women who do not choose to be victims. We know the cause and it CAN be prevented.

    Enlightened men like those involved in white ribbon day are essential to the cure.

    And for the critics of men signing a pledge against violence, it has been medically proven that signing a contract means behaviour modification is more likely to be successful.

    I’ll be encouraging all the men I know to pledge away.

  • Reply November 25, 2012

    Tony W

    @ jonah stiffhausen – “All DV studies show that women are equally culpable.”

    At the risk of making myself unpopular (understatement!) I’m going to have to agree with jonah here – except for DV homicide, where the ratio of male to female killers is 3 to 1.

    Apart from that statistic, DV studies indicate gender parity. For example – Fiebert, Dept of Psychology, California State University: “This bibliography examines 286 scholarly investigations: 221 empirical studies and 65 reviews and/or analyses, which demonstrate that women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners. The aggregate sample size in the reviewed studies exceeds 371,600.”

    I’m a little conflicted here, because I happened to grow up with DV, and it was 100% wife against husband – my father never retaliated once. On the other hand, and somewhat illogically perhaps, my sympathies as a man lie with female DV victims.

    I guess that just means I’m like everybody else, ie. “A 2009 study showed that there was greater acceptance for abuse perpetrated by females than by males.”

    The difference of course is that men don’t report getting beaten up regularly by a woman – for obvious reasons! Quite apart from the shame and embarrassment, they simply wouldn’t be believed. That applies to their kids when they grow up too – I never bothered telling anyone, not even my wife. Nor do I blame people for not believing – I wouldn’t believe it myself if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. Unfortunately that means the problem goes virtually undetected in society, and men have to suffer in silence.

    However I’m not sure it’s constructive to point out these harsh truths about DV by women. I don’t want to see DV issues hijacked by men, even if they do suffer in comparable numbers. It’s not just about the numbers – there’s a culture of violence against women, including sexual violence, and it extends beyond the home. That culture doesn’t exist in reverse. So I think it’s that culture we need to address first and foremost, with initiatives like White Ribbon Day etc.

    Hence while jonah’s statement may be more or less true, it completely misses the point.

  • Reply November 25, 2012

    Tracy

    Great article!

    The reality and the statistics clearly indicate the suffering that women and children endure at the hands of intimate partners, both former and current. It is always sad and frustrating to read comments from men undermining basic truths with nonscense and misinformation.

    I am glad that there are men who are genuinely concerned and are doing something. I think a lot of emotional and psychological abuse slips right under the radar and I do wonder how we can bring about real change for all women – we need a big cultural shift in thinking.

  • Reply November 25, 2012

    Rhoda

    @Tony. Not sure if Fiebert’s work can be taken seriously. Just saying. You can look him up. I do know that men’s groups are referring to his work and spreading disinformation on the subject.

    Can you explain what sort of violence women are dealing out to men when you say men are getting beaten up regularly by women. Do you mean that men just lie down and take it for some reason – what reason? Do they hide the bruises. Or is it verbal abuse that you mean. And do men feel powerless in these instances.

  • Reply November 26, 2012

    Melissa

    Great point above re female (and, I expect, should they ” come out”, male DV sufferers, not getting the support, for instance, that a cancer battler would get. As someone who grew up in a very violent home, the turning of a blind eye was as painful as the blows to the head.

    Grat article Tara, and thanks so much for raising the issue.
    I have to differ however, when you refere to DV as a ‘ disease’, in my experience violent men are fully aware and choosing of their damaging behavior – they simply chose to be violent in situations where they know that there will be no consequence for them. I would bet my life on the fact that my father would never have institaged violence towards a man of his own size or larger. Men who terrorize their wife and children ( female children in this case, funny that – great comment Tony W about the ” culture” of violence towrads woman) are not diseased, I don’t even think they could be desribed as being ” out of control” …. the grotesque reality, at least in my experience, is that they CHOOSE to act this way… they think it’s OK to buukky, bash and domineer females: that’s why it is so critical that the groundswell of voices, especially male voices proclaiming ” not on” is so important and so uplifting an affirming to hear.
    Violent men can be slippery charmers when they are away from what they see as their fiethdom …. it is very irritating and galling that so many poeple refuse to see past the charming facade… I think that’s what stops so many women reporting DV, the stomach – churning likelihood that you will not be believed.
    I had the misfortune of being subjected to a violent father as well as a violent mother; much to my chagrin, I didn’t get around to cofronting my father about his behavior; recently however, I confronted my mother and ceased all contact with her … as a result, I have been sidelined by other family members and relatives who weren’t there at the time, such as inlaws, express disbelief. Speaking out against violence carries a price.
    In the couse of my violet childhood I recall only person who openly uttered a statement of affirmation and support – a police officer – I feel more admiration and affection for, and connection with this person than I do with my parents.

    If you do speak up against violence when you know it is happening, you will hold a very special place in someone’s heart forever.
    Bravo all the men who have supported WRDay

  • Reply November 26, 2012

    ro.watson

    Blasted with some violent flashbacks today~and I was blamed for this violence, when I was the one who was slapped. I do not think of myself as a victim~ but there are things that have happened I would prefer to deny. Bugger~ it has only been 6 years..

  • Reply November 26, 2012

    ro.watson

    And I think/feel kids feel a lot of violence which is directed towards them~ or which they witness directly against one or other parent~ but a lot of violence is hidden from them, and goes underground….

  • Reply November 26, 2012

    Tony W

    @ ro.watson – “Blasted with some violent flashbacks today~and I was blamed for this violence”

    Sorry to hear you’re struggling today ro, it’s appalling the way women are blamed for the violence wrought upon them in the world. And you’re right – you are NOT a victim. Just because we suffer violence doesn’t make us victims. That’s a choice we make ourselves.

    BTW I really enjoy your writing style, kind of a Kerouac stream of consciousness thing you’ve got going there, very flowing and lyrical at times. Have you thought of turning your hand to writing at all?

  • Reply November 26, 2012

    Tony W

    @ Rhoda – “Not sure if Fiebert’s work can be taken seriously. Just saying. You can look him up.”

    I’ll do that in due course Rhoda, I don’t know much about his own work. The reason I quoted him here is that it’s a bibliography of other people’s work – at the link below you’ll find a list of the 200+ studies referred to, with a brief one or two line summary of the findings of each. It’s a diverse collection of studies which covers a range of issues around DV. I found it quite interesting.

    I’ll address your other queries in a separate post Rhoda, gotta grab some shuteye now!

  • Reply November 26, 2012

    Tony W

    @ Tracy – “It is always sad and frustrating to read comments from men undermining basic truths with nonscense and misinformation.”

    Yes, that’s why I was reluctant to stray into this territory. I’ve noticed anti-feminists are increasingly using DV studies to attack feminism and derail initiatives like White Ribbon Day – with some success as Katie says: “I have been shocked at the extent of hostility on that particular site promoting White Ribbon Day, which has now been taken off the front page.”

    For that to occur on a mainstream media site is quite a serious matter, however I’m not sure how to combat these hostile forces – should we ignore them or should we seek to refute their arguments?

    The risk if we ignore them is that feminism is open to portrayal as unsympathetic to the plight of male DV victims, and the children who also suffer abuse in these homes. That could weaken our position badly. On the other hand, the risk if we take issue with these people is that we shift the focus off violence against women – as is occurring in this very thread.

    In the end I decided attack is the best form of defence, and forewarned is forearmed. As Katie says: “We need to remain alert that there is a range of attitudes out there.” Or to put it more bluntly – Know Thine Enemy! So I’ve tried to convey where these anti-feminists are coming from, in terms of the basis of their argument, so that intelligent women like those on Hoopla can formulate an effective response.

    FWIW, my own feeling is that feminism would be best served by acknowledging the phenomenon of DV against men, rather than denying its existence, but shifting the focus onto the CULTURE of violence against women, rather than any DATA relating to violence against women in the home – which can always be met with opposing data, spurious or otherwise.

    That to me is the distinguishing factor here – the CULTURE of violence by men against women, including sexual violence, which extends from the home into the community. No one can possibly suggest there’s an equivalent culture of violence by women against men.

    I suspect that’s the philosophy behind White Ribbon Day and TV ad campaigns – they don’t throw alarming statistics at us, they invite men to actively oppose the cultural acceptance of violence against women.

    The other favourite argument of anti-feminists is that such initiatives seek to impose collective blame or guilt on all men. In reality of course, they simply invite men to take responsibility for change which only they can effect. Since when did care for one’s fellow human beings become guilt? Then again, misogyny doesn’t see women as human beings.

  • Reply November 26, 2012

    Tony W

    hmm, unable to post for some reason

  • Reply November 26, 2012

    Martin Pribble

    I think it is important to read this article left as a comment at my blog. It highlights the problems with the arguments and claims that a campaign calling for the and of violence toward women is exclusive, and the catchcry of “What about the men?”

    http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/10/18/phmt-argument/

    Of course men are victims of crime too, and violence from men is mostly perpetrated against men. But this doesn’t solve any problems. All it does is detract away from the aim of this campaign which is primarily to get men onside in the abhorrence of violence against women, and hopefully as a byproduct violence against all people.

    I wrote this short piece yesterday hoping to bring to further the conversation on the topic of violence against women.

    http://martinspribble.com/archives/3546

    • Reply November 26, 2012

      Pseudonym

      Martin, I recommend the mini-wiki, Geek Feminism:

      http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Geek_Feminism_Wiki

      It’s focussed on the open source software community, but it’s got a lot of really good material, especially the section on silencing tactics, which occur so often that they can be catalogued in some detail. It covers all of the usual tropes, including “you don’t have to read it”, “you’re the bully”, “I clawed my way up” and so on.

      PHMT is covered.

  • Reply November 26, 2012

    jonah stiffhausen

    DV is a construct of the divorce industry to try and justify involuntary divorce and child stealing. Law is a business like any other. The big money in divorce is in the kidnapping of the children and the ensuing battle by one parent to reclaim them. To facilitate this, DV smears are commonplace. The issuing of IOs ensure there will be a court battle over who gets the kids. They’re a strategy of divorce lawyers. No evidence is needed in juryless courts to substantiate them.
    Result. People jailed for nothing more than objecting to having their children stolen by bureaucratic flunkeys, waving to children, shopping in street etc. Forced to confess to trumped up charges – no evidence required. Read anything by Stephen Baskerville. No one is condoning actual violence against men or women. Who would? White Ribbon stuff is like marching in favour of chocolate ice cream.
    The divorce regime is a massive billion dollar industry. It exploits women just as much as men. If an adulterous, violent male wants a divorce, then he’ll get everything he asks for, including the children, because this corrupt racket and its practitioners, rewards the party which brings it the business. Follow the money.

    • Reply November 26, 2012

      Pseudonym

      I take it back. You are just trolling.

  • Reply November 26, 2012

    Rhoda

    I dislike trolls who disrupt the conversation but I think it useful to know these people exist and have an agenda. As well to know who we’re up against. Their business is deception and disinformation which is why they stick their heads above the parapets. Almost invariably they put their victimhood on display – the Barmum effect.

  • Reply November 26, 2012

    Martin Pribble

    @Pseudonym You’re not accusing me of trolling surely?

  • Reply November 26, 2012

    Tony W

    Rhoda, in answer to your earlier queries about the dynamics of DV against men, I did take the time to reply in some detail, however my post was removed shortly afterwards so you may not have had a chance to read it.

    I’ve since read tekanji’s article on Martin Pribble’s blog site concerning the protocols for men posting on women’s sites, so as a newbie to the blogosphere, let alone women’s sites, I’ve decided to take her advice concerning comments relating to men’s issues, ie. avoid them completely, even if they’re well meaning in the interests of women. As mentioned in my earlier posts I was already uncomfortable about commenting on DV against men, so tekanji’s guidance is helpful to me. I was operating on the idea that men’s and women’s issues are interrelated and that dialogue between them is helpful, however upon reflection that was probably naive of me.

    So rather than respond to your queries here on Hoopla, can I suggest you search the net for info on the nature of DV against men if you’re interested. There’s quite a bit of information available these days in various forms, eg. newspaper reports of convictions in some cases, victim accounts, and general studies on the specific manifestations of DV against men. Some of this info resides on men’s sites, but far be it from me as a man to direct women to men’s sites!

    Anyway apologies for not answering your questions directly myself Rhoda.

  • Reply November 27, 2012

    jonah stiffhausen

    http://www.stephenbaskerville.net/default/

    Remove the shales from your eyes.
    Men beat women, women hit, stab, abuse men. Individuals do wicked things to each other. It is very dangerous trying to assign collective guilt to portions of the population.
    Do you think someone whose spouse deserts them, should be able to also remove him/her from their children’s lives without any compelling evidence to back up their wishes? Do you think said parent (with no evidence of wrongdoing against them) should have to pay divorce industry operatives thousands of dollars to try to reclaim them? Do you think that these same excluded parents should be jailed for doing things which the rest of us can do? Do you think they should be jailed without appearing before a jury, contrary to our Constitution and all western democratic Constitutions? Do you think it right that no evidence is required to back up these charges?
    This is what DV hysteria has wrought in many countries, including Aust. It has politicized the law. You may agree with it but it makes you an enemy of freedom and personal liberty and a danger to the rest of us.

  • Reply December 3, 2012

    Jill L

    The first response was so upsetting, obviously he has never been abused, never been spit upon, never been shamed in front of friends, never had his hair pulled, never been grabbed and left with big bruises, never been stalked, never been spied on, never been pushed, or shoved…this list is long but it could go on. As far as the last respondant, there are far more incidences of abuse than false accusations so while we must take care to protect the innocent, charges have to be laid and investigated immediately. It can be a matter of life and death. The children of these partnerships will grow up as the victim or the abuser if the cycle is not broken. Hats off to all the men who took the pledge on White Ribbon Day..very brave!

  • Reply December 3, 2012

    Jill L

    I just noticed that Jonah is the 1st and last response, so I have to say to him, “If you haven’t been in a DV situation, you aren’t really qualified to weigh in.” I also have to wonder if you were abused as a child and your coping strategies are what now fuel your rage?’ I would say you fall into one of the 2 groups. I wish you could feel the shame, powerlessness, disgust and horror when your partner spits in your face…..it is very enlightening. You may be posing as an impartial observer but I feel there is a good chance that you were the victim of child abuse. Quite classic in order to survive it, to sublimate it…..but it is always there….wish you well in your journey….you need help. God Bless.

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