MAN UP AND FACE UP!
There’s a great quote from George Orwell doing the rounds on Twitter at the moment: ‘Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed. Everything else is public relations.’
Right now, as we cock our heads to one side like puzzled puppies over comments made by Mitt Romney, Alan Jones and attendees at a Canterbury Bulldogs “Mad Monday” party, that quote couldn’t be more relevant.
Puzzling: Alan Jones, Bulldogs player Ben Barba on Mad Monday and Mitt Romney.
Mitt Romney’s declaration that 47% of American citizens don’t take personal responsibility for their own lives, Alan Jones’ utterly hilarious ‘joke’ that the Prime Minister of Australia’s father died of shame, and an attendee at an NRL team’s party yelling out to reporter Jayne Azzopardi that she should ‘suck me off you dumb dog’ were all recorded without their knowledge.
You’d think that would be enough to instil some sort of shame in the those that made the comments. Instead, in the eyes of these blokes or their supporters, they’ve become the true victims.
I’m crying on the inside, guys. Truly, I am. I know it looks like I’m belly laughing but that’s just the way I react to grief.
The defence that Romney, Jones and Canterbury are running is that they’ve been hard done by because their comments were made ‘in private.’
They’ve skewed the definition of privacy to mean, ‘times when I think I’m not being recorded’. A lack of electronic recording devices doesn’t make something private. Anyone can repeat your comments if they overhear them; they don’t need to be recorded and they don’t need to be noted by a journalist.
If you go to a barbecue at a friend’s place and start spouting a whole load of racist nonsense, there’s nothing to stop someone else at the barbecue telling their friends all about you the next day. If you go out on a Friday night and call a waitress a ‘bitch’, there’s nothing to stop her from tweeting it to all her friends. As soon as you are in a situation where there is the possibility that people you don’t know or trust are nearby, then privacy goes out the window. This isn’t a new thing; the simple repeating of comments has existed since human beings learned how to talk.
The rule is pretty simple: if you think your comments are abhorrent or offensive, then either keep them to yourself or be prepared to cop the consequences if others find out. That goes for everybody on the planet, not just public figures.
In the case of Jones and Romney, they knowingly and purposefully stood in front of their respective audiences and made speeches.
Neither of them opened by saying ‘everything I’m about to say is secret and can’t leave this room’. Irrespective of whether they’d been recorded or not, their comments could have been repeated by anyone who was there.
In the case of the Canterbury team, whoever made the comments yelled them out a window directly at the journalist in question. The Bulldogs chief executive Todd Greenberg offered the following defence: “It was a private function…it was an opportunity for the players to do their own thing for that one day of the year.”
| Page 1 of 2 | next >> |
32 Responses to this article
-
Nat October 4, 2012
Well said!
I don’t get the whole mad monday thing.
-
Georgie October 4, 2012
Great article Corinne!
I am sick of hearing all of the ‘woe is me, someone called me out on my comments’ from these guys. And so much for those ‘apologies’. Nothing is really private anymore & if you know what you think is wrong & offensive, keep your mouth shut! Or be prepared to face up & apologise properly when you are caught. -
Lynn October 4, 2012
I don’t know about Romney, but both Alan Jones and the Bulldogs have previous in this area. How anyone can support them beggers belief.
-
Kath October 4, 2012
The words “grow up” come to mind for all of these men.
Grow up, take responsibility for yourselves and show some common courtesy and respect. Really, it’s not that hard, is it?
-
Frankly Feisty October 4, 2012
I LOVE this quote in The Monthly from Alan Jones…
“Public opinion can win the battle. The power of public opinion can never be underestimated so long as we get off our backside and do something.”
Yes, that’s absolutely correct Mr Jones. -
kevin October 4, 2012
Simon Berger’s chaff bag jacket stunt fits into the same category. Woolworths defend their “Community and Government Relations” manager’s disgraceful behaviour on the basis that it occurred at a private event. Well, we all know about it and that is what really upsets Woolworths.
-
Amanda October 4, 2012
Woollies’ “at a private event” comment doesn’t wash. Tickets were freely available (I believe it was $100 a head) and it was advertised – hardly private.
-
-
Nancy October 4, 2012
They’re never truly sorry about what they said, only sorry they got caught out. Sincere apologies my ass. More like covering theirs.
-
Bex October 4, 2012
Yep, they’re all idiots. But at least we know who they are and where they are. It’s the ones that stay quiet and under the radar I worry about…
-
Robert T. October 4, 2012
Nancy is spot on. An apology is only worth as much as the subsequent change in behaviour.
-
MazT October 4, 2012
I can recall when men were brought up to respect women and women were brought up to respect themselves, this including in how they behaved toward men. It was a mutually acknowledging, respecting circle. Whatever happened to that?
-
Kelly Exeter October 4, 2012
Amen Corinne. It made me want to scream to hear Alan Jones whinge that his comments were made to a ‘private function’ as use that as some sort of defence. The rules for common decency are so simple … why can’t these people just stick to them?
-
Me October 4, 2012
Have a think about how you might react if all your private emails were made available to your friends (say through a Facebook blunder – there is a FB hoax going about at the moment saying that inbox messages from before 2010 are available for all to see)…I know its different to this situation, but just play along.
Would there be things you have written online that you would rather your friends didn’t know about? Does the threat of exposure make you think twice about what you say/write – perhaps be more compassionate?
Perhaps you might have said things behind your friend’s backs that you’d rather they didn’t know (surely most of us have done this). I had a situation once where I heard friends talking about me in a nasty way via a mobile phone error (one had rung my house and not hung up properly). There were red faces and apologies but the friendship was ruined. In hindsight aI am glad that I saw their true colors and didn’t waste more time with them.
There are good reasons for privacy, but sometimes we use ‘privacy’ as an excuse to hide our true feelings, which is not always a good thing.
-
JessB October 4, 2012
@Me, I think it’s a bit different potentially having your private emails exposed, to people finding out that you’re a racist, for example.
I would agree with you that most people have “said things behind friend’s backs that you’d rather they didn’t know”, but the things that I’ve said aren’t that one friend is a black bastard, for instance, or that another is a Muslim tea-towel head. The things that I’ve said are more along the lines that I can’t believe that one spent nearly $1000 on a handbag, or that another is acting really childishly at the moment. I wouldn’t like to say those things to my friends expecially, but I could stand by them if my friends found out I said them. They’re defensible, reasonable comments, if not particularly conducive to friendship.
There are great reasons for privacy, but problems arise when you present a very different image of yourself to people (both friends, and the public at large), and when that persona is discovered to be a lie. That’s what Corinne is talking about here.
-
Meg October 8, 2012
same thing happened to me but it was my parents who had called me and not hung up. i picked up the phone and heard them saying awful things about my husband and i. it was so upsetting but i never said anything, i wish i had.
-
-
Miranda Muer October 4, 2012
@Kelly Exeter – b/c they are not decent, that is the whole problem. Great article Corinne. They are not in any way ‘sorry’ for what they said, they said what they said because they ‘believe’ what they said, they are only ‘sorry’ they were caught and then try to unburden themselves by claiming to be victims themselves. I call these men WIM’s – Woe Is Me Men. They are tactical players in verbal self-defence but technologie and public abhorrence at these comments has caught up with them. I am loving the ‘people power’ of social media.The public no longer accepts these rude indecent men and their ways and beliefs. People power will continue to ‘name and shame’ and shunt them out.
-
Juliet October 4, 2012
I agree wholeheartedly Corinne. What further infuriates me is the network of people who rush to give these men the right of reply to justify their actions/words and who defend them. The more frequently they get to ‘apologise’ and ‘explain’ the more watered down they seem to be able to make what they said or did, till people wonder what all the initial fuss was about.
I can’t recall any women having the opportunity to defend themselves or be defended by others to the same extent that Alan Jones and the Bulldogs get.
We are all responsible for what we say and what we do whether publicly or privately. -
Jenny October 4, 2012
At the risk of sounding like a “goody-two-shoes” and sending you for the sick-bucket, I can honestly say that I never even think bad thoughts about any of my friends, family or acquaintances. I live by the policy of accepting everybody according to who they are, and if I don’t like someone then that is my problem, not something to criticize them for! There are so many different kinds of people in this world, and we can’t possibly like or approve of all of them; but we don’t have to attack them because they don’t fit our vision of how they should be.
I don’t care for Alan Jones. I see him to be a rabble-rouser of the first water. I don’t see him as particularly intelligent (I might be wrong about that), but I don’t wish to hang him either. I just opt to never listen to his radio program, and certainly wouldn’t pay good money to see him in the flesh!
I don’t know why the radio station have kept him on for so long when he has such a history of personal attacks on public figures, but it’s their decision not mine. As for his claim he was at a private function – that’s rubbish. Same for Mitt Romney – he doesn’t sound like someone I would vote for, but I know many people think like he does. As for the rugby player – if you get within range of a drunken football team you can expect some pretty foul language to be flying about! Sure, it is rude and distasteful, but that’s how some of them behave, so beware! -
Margaret October 4, 2012
Self Control vs Immediate Gratification.
We learnt the difference and the implications from parents and our school teachers
Yes, back in the 70′s, the olddays! But those words still ring true to me.
These men have some good in them. Road rage and other poor examples of human behaviour seem to be the norm?
This is what my kids are starting to believe – very sad.
Lead by example we tell them, no matter what other kids are doing.
Time for adults to do this too? -
Margaret October 4, 2012
Self Control vs Immediate Gratification.
We learnt the difference and the implications from parents and our school teachers
Yes, back in the 70′s, the olddays! But those words still ring true to me.
These men have some good in them. Road rage and other poor examples of human behaviour seem to be the norm?
This is what my kids are starting to believe – very sad.
Lead by example we tell them, no matter what other kids are doing.
Time for adults to do this too? -
Margaret October 4, 2012
Self Control vs Immediate Gratification.
We learnt the difference and the implications from parents and our school teachers
Yes, back in the 70′s, the olddays! But those words still ring true to me.
These men have some good in them. Road rage and other poor examples of human behaviour seem to be the norm?
This is what my kids are starting to believe – very sad.
Lead by example we tell them, no matter what other kids are doing.
Time for adults to do this too? -
Lindy October 4, 2012
As a Tasmanian I was proud to read about the letter that a gentleman wrote to the Prime Minister about her father. I don’t know what his politics are but feel that this is irrelevant it was a heartfelt message from one human being to another and hopefully negated the nastiness that we are continuing to see about our Prime Minister. Debate her policies in a rational exchange of ideas and stamp out this boorish and hurtful bahaviour.
-
Aeron Winters October 4, 2012
I can honestly say that I’ve never said anything behind someone’s back that I wouldn’t say to their face. I can’t say that people always like what I say, but I will always ‘own’ what I say. I believe what I believe and I prefer to be honest than to lie to make someone fell better. But telling a friend that the dress they are wearing is not particularly flattering (and only if asked directly I must add) is a far cry from the nastiness that these guys are spouting.
-
Keryn October 4, 2012
I wouldn’t want my personal emails opened for all the world to see, and not because they have negative comments about other people, but because they are personal – I didn’t write the information about my surgery on my Facebook wall or send condolences to a friend about the death of their loved one, or wish another good luck in the interview that her boss didn’t know about or enquire about the outcome of another’s home auction – this is totally different to cruel, personal attacks AND generally (unless it is a group email) the conversation is between one person and one other, not called out a window, or into a microphone on a stage!
-
Siggy October 4, 2012
Thanks Corinne. Great article!
-
Kate October 4, 2012
As always Corrine, you have nailed it ….
-
Chris October 4, 2012
Hopefully this awful week (Jones, Bulldogs, Meagher, etc) will shine a much needed light on this country’s problem with misogyny. The national ugliness is hard to avoid. What we need are real men to stand up to it and declare their commitment to respecting women and indeed common decency. I’m reluctant to draw attention to politicians but Malcolm Turnbull has been a shining light in the past week. His condemnation of Jones on Sunday morning was clearly genuine and made without fear. The same cannot be said of Abbott nor, I’m afraid, a number of politicians from both sides who clearly attempted to make mileage out of the affair.
-
helenbea October 4, 2012
Good to see you’re staying on the case Corinne. The only way consciousness is going to grow is by building awareness through the media, both mass media and social media.
It’s heartening to read so many rational and even handed comments from people on this site and other media outlets. Keep on keeping on. People are waking up and saying ‘enough is enough’.
-
Val October 5, 2012
An excellent article, Corinne. I love the way you have highlighted the hypocrisy of those men.
The culpability of Woolworths and the Young Liberals chaff bag auction have been understated by much of the media commentary.
-
billie October 5, 2012
Alan Jones made boorish comments at a private function where every one was drinking and had probably forgotten just how awful those comments were, pity about the recording though.
Then the old goat appears on national TV at 11am on Sunday to give a rambling 1 hour ‘apology’. I saw 3 minutes of that ‘apology’ and didn’t like it at all.
Do not mix Romney and Jones, Romney got into trouble with a secret recording then weeks later Jones gets taped making boorish comments, then Jones is stupid enough to give a 1 hour ‘apology’ every one listened to. -
Gilbert Saupin October 5, 2012
Why show Ben Barba’s picture in this online article? He wasn’t there at the time! Maybe its another stereotype of indigineous men? Well done guys.
-
Amandar October 6, 2012
Excellent Corrine. Keep up the good work.
