• For a while there, while very young, I wanted to be a marching girl~ now, and for a long time... I have preferred a looser form of movement....though I need get to march a few times.... - ro.watson
  • disillusioned. I thought all New Zealanders were no nuke, peace loving dears. there goes that stereotype! - neeter
  • I just wish the pollies and others would represent the people in their electorate and keep their personal and religious beliefs to themselves. - neeter
  • I'm with you Sly Place. Obviously the writers resentments have built up over a long time. Why hold on to this for such a long time then put it in leter - when you could just talk it through if it bugs you that much. - sue
  • Well put Finnola Usually one of mine ring up a few days beforehand to remind us when one of the Grand children's birthday are coming up but we don't always see the grand kids when it's ours and they don't approve of our presents to them so now it's sort of tit for tit not that it always works out but at least we have our lives to lead and don't wait for them - Sarah
  • I love your last rule - sue Bell
  • Above is Meant to read " I love your approach Commonsensegirlonline" - Walkthetalk
  • I have to also agree with Benster and I'm still smiling with relief at ..I LOVE your approach and I want to join your club!! Boy I could contribute to drinking away some of that wine with like minded people & drowning some sorrows, you gotta laugh! ! One irritating point I have noted with both my 20 something year old daughters is they know all the right manners and thoughtfulness when it comes to their transient friends. But one thing I haven't learned to do is refuse them when they are in need even though I may be still seething with their lack of whatever from a previous episode. - Walkthetalk
  • 111 Homosexuals and their dark agents like Rudd, want to turn the world on it’s head. They want us all to abandon God-created instinct within .. and see perversion as healthy. They want the surrounding world to say black is white, sexually. They are campaigning to this end. There is already a form of tyranny in society where many are intimidated and too scared to say what they really think about homosexuality and the perverse use of the human body (the latter an area many like to screen from their minds). There are many strategies used .. like .. “I was born this way” .. “it is genetic” .. “fairness” .. etc. There is the word-weapon “homophobic” which means you have a disorder if you are godly. To be ungodly is to fail .. not to be godly. “Cisgender” is part of this .. the battleground of words. This most grotesque word is one more brick in the wall of human disobedience to God. Where is all this .. the gay campaign to turn the world on it’s head .. leading to? Happiness? No. You cannot be happy if you march away from God. You can only be unhappy in the end. This is why they use the word “gay” .. to sell to others they are happy .. when in truth they are deeply within on a soul level not at peace at all. John Jay. - John Jay
  • Tracey and Linda, I know you understand and it helps enormously - thank you so much for responding. I actually wish our son had a physical disability like a missing limb instead because then we might get help, support and understanding whereas now we are dealing with the unimaginable horror of domestic terrorism 24/7 and getting blamed and ostracised on top of everything else we suffer. I think somedays I am close to a breakdown but keep trudging on for the otber kids. That social worker sounds like some I have met but the worst was the police woman who I'd called after being attacked by our son....even when I begged for help and outlined that we were all hostages to domestic violence she was sarcastic and abusive to me in front of our grinning son. - Concerned
 
Categories:  Must see, The Money Well

YOU’VE COME A LONG WAY, BABY

I have a friend who, in the last year and at age 50, left her marriage with a very small pot of capital, retrained, and started a career in a profession with higher income potential and last week, purchased a small 3 bedroom flat in her local area.

Another friend just told me she, at 55, has completed a Masters in Education. She has a hearing impairment and is a breast cancer survivor 10 years free of disease.

Isn’t this fantastic? They are living, breathing examples how the power of having goals in our lives can bring about massive change in our circumstances.

Yet, sometimes when I articulate my admiration and congratulations on their achievements they look somewhat bewildered and nonchalant.

This is the insidious thing about goals. Sometimes we forget to look back and see how far we have come and pat ourselves on the back before we keep looking ahead to the next thing.

Gratitude and appreciation for our achievement feeds in to our happiness and confidence levels, which help propel us forward to the next thing.

Having goals is a human predilection. Without them, we would never have conquered Everest, discovered antibiotics or won Olympic gold medals. On a more modest scale nor would we attain degrees, buy houses, run half marathons, start investment portfolios or the myriad desires which takes our fancy.

We all have different ways of expressing our goals. Some people are more internally driven and need only to set their own internal compass to get them on their way. Others proudly announce to family, friends and anyone who will listen whenever a new target is in their sight. There is no right or wrong way to verbalise what you want.

Lists help. So do dream boards, life coaches or whatever you need in that moment to motivate you. Setting some is the key, not necessarily how you go about it.

When it comes to financial goals most of us have an overriding ambition to have financial security (whatever dollar amount that means to you). To get more specific in how that looks for you talking it over with a financial adviser can help. More pertinently, they can help you with strategies to get where you want to go.

Maybe the goals seem very obvious and not worth the effort to specify. Paying down your mortgage and building your super balance or saving for a first home deposit may appear quite generic but remember this is your journey and your efforts. They are worthy of communication to yourself, at the very least.

Just remember, every so often to take time to see how far you’ve come. Think back 5 years and celebrate your finer moments and the person you have become as you’ve brought about the successes in your life.

So, to my two dear friends, and they know who they are, I raise a metaphorical glass to you and say…Woohoo. You go, girls!

 

 

MORE FROM THE HOOPLA MONEY WELL

Something lost. Something found

Happiness is not a dirty word

My life without a credit card

 


*Jill is a qualified chartered accountant, starting her career at Arthur Andersen in Perth, Western Australia and then in London at a satellite communications company. After relocating to Sydney from Perth in 2000 and raising her children to school age, Jill worked in asset management and business development at Access Capital Advisers for three years. Jill left Access Capital Advisers in 2009 to start wisewomen, a business aimed at educating women on personal finance and investing. Jill has a Diploma in Financial Services (Financial Planning) from Kaplan Professional.

 

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4 Responses to this article

  1. jonah stiffhausen December 5, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Walked out on a marriage and that’s “fantastic”? Mmm, better ask the husband and children about that.
    Personally I’d call it treachery and unforgivable.

     
    • Aeron Winters December 5, 2012 Reply
       
       

      @Jonah

      I don’t see where it mentioned there were children involved, and anyway, if there were they were probably adults anyhow. Secondly, you don’t know what the marriage was like. I would hazard a guess that it wasn’t great or she wouldn’t have left. Congratulations to her for having the courage to start over.

       
  2. sue Bell December 5, 2012 Reply
     
     

    walked out on a marriage and got her life back, congratulations.

     
  3. ro.watson December 5, 2012 Reply
     
     

    We can all learn alot from our defeats, as well as our achievements. I have so much more of the former that I reckon goal-setting,and planning are just in progress wishful thinking.

     

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  • ro.watson: For a while there, while very young, I wanted to be a marching girl~ now, and for a long time... I have preferred a loos...

  • neeter: disillusioned. I thought all New Zealanders were no nuke, peace loving dears. there goes that stereotype!

  • neeter: I just wish the pollies and others would represent the people in their electorate and keep their personal and religious ...

  • sue: I'm with you Sly Place. Obviously the writers resentments have built up over a long time. Why hold on to this for such ...

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