Hair iron

It is official. I am extraordinarily uncool.

I suspected it all along, but there was a recent incident that cemented me into Dorksville. Population…ME!

Or are there more of us out there?

My oldest son thinks he is very cool. (Hey! We don’t know where he got it from either.) He walked into the kitchen after footy the other day, looked at me, and jerked his nose skywards before opening the fridge. I asked him what that meant.

“Sup.” He replied.

What does that mean?

“Wassup.” He informed me.

And what does THAT mean?

“What’s up?”

Please elaborate?

“What are you up to Mum?”

Ah! Phew. A full sentence from a lad whose communication has recently shifted from a wide and impressive vocabulary to grunts, head and hand movements.

To keep up with his latest vernacular, I have had to re-educate myself on this new generation of users of the English Language.

So, I have written a guide. If you have kids in your life, you may find my guide useful. Ditto if you ever need to visit the Apple Store, JB Hi-Fi or any other technology outlet that is staffed by young folk.

Now, I wonder whether I have given myself enough credit here – after all, I do know who Jason Bieber is, and I am well aware that if you mix vodka and energy drinks, you will be up for days (if your heart does not stop in its tracks).

Jason Bieber. Mrs Woog has totes heard of him.

However, the fact that I used the phrase “young folk” in the last paragraph leaves me to believe I already have one hand on the zimmer frame. But I refuse to go quietly into the aged care facility, so to prevent this from happening I need to become bi-lingual.

So, grab your guarana and let us begin!

These brave new words include, but are not limited to, the following;

  • Vacay – holiday. To take a break.
  • Adorbs – adorable. Something that pleases you.
  • Totes – totally. Extremely committed.
  • Peeps – people. Fellow citizens of the earth.
  • Ridic – ridiculous. Something that makes no sense.
  • Cray-Cray – crazy. Taken leave of one’s senses.
  • Cray – also crazy. Because you cannot be bothered to repeat yourself.
  • Obvs – obviously. Der.
  • Def – definitely. Not hard of hearing, but 100% affirmative.
  • Deets – details. One’s means of contacting you.
  • Awks – Awkward. Meaning to feel slightly uncomfortable about something.
  • Nom Nom Nom – delicious. Pleasing to one’s palate.
  • Amazeballs – rapturous. Really, very excellent.
  • Awesomesauce – an extremely tasty condiment.
  • Stabby – to pierce with a sharp instrument. Excessively unhappy.

These are just 15 of the most commonly shortened and popular words that have made it onto everyday language of cool people.

Those who are extremely proficient in its use, can confidently demonstrate how more that one of these words can be strung together in a sentence.

Such as: Went on cray-cray vacay with totes adorbs peeps. Was def amazeballs.

Translated to: I enjoyed a lovely holiday with some wonderful friends of mine. It was thoroughly enjoyable.


What? ‘Amazeballs’ isn’t a cereal?!

The trick is to find a native speaker and converse with in short bursts as much as possible. Practice. Everyone learns at a different pace, so do not put extra pressure on yourself by trying to set unrealistic goals.

A final note.

Some common words used in the younger generation’s voices are starting to infiltrate into conversations I am having with my peers. I must admit that some of my mates can get away with it, as they are achingly cool. But every time I try to throw any of these words into a sentence, I feel the need to apologise.

Because it just does not sound right coming out of my cake hole.

But, obvs, like learning any new language, the trick is to apply it with totes confidence until you are amazeballs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxo :) :) :)



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mrs woog*About Mrs Woog: “I can be found in the laundry, folding laundry, sorting laundry and dropping off the dry cleaning. I am mum to two boys,  boss of my husband and master of a cat and two guinea pigs. Come nightfall, I watch TV while tweeting which drives Mr Woog insane. I like to read cookbooks and eat out. During my waking hours I ferry kids around in the Mazda while drinking takeaway coffees and listening to talkback. I think about going to the gym every day. I used to work in the publishing industry before I realised it was nothing like Elaine Benes from Seinfeld made out like it was. Now I write this blog. And I never get writer’s block. It is a gift I have.” You can follow me on Twitter @Woogsworld.

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