HOOPLA HOROSCOPES. WEEK OF OCTOBER 11

Your weekly Hoopla Horoscopes, brought to you by prophet, astrologer and natural-born storyteller, Rob Brezny.

Week beginning October 11, 2012

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Hello Dear Sir: I would like to place a large order for yellow chicken curry, cherry cream cheese cupcakes, and sour, malty Belgian golden ale. It’s for my birthday party this Saturday, and will need to serve exactly 152 people. My agent will pick it up at 11 a.m. Please have it ready on time. – Ms. Lori Chandra.” Dear Ms. Chandra: I am an astrologer, not a caterer, so I’m afraid I can’t fulfill your order. It’s admirable that you know so precisely what you want and are so authoritative about trying to get it; but please remember how crucial it is to seek the fulfillment of your desires from a source that can actually fulfill them. You’re a Libra, right? Your birthday is this week? Thanks for giving me an excuse to send this timely message to all of your fellow Libras.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Here comes the big reveal of the month; the trick ending of the year; and maybe the most unusual happiness of the decade. Any day now you will get the chance to decipher the inside story that’s beneath the untold story that’s hidden within the secret story. I won’t be surprised if one of your most sophisticated theories about the nature of reality gets cracked, allowing you to at recover at least a measure of primal innocence. I suggest you start practicing the arts of laughing while you cry and crying while you laugh right now. That way you’ll be all warmed up when an old style of give-and-take comes to an end, ultimately making way for a more profound new give-and-take.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): There’s almost nothing about the dandelion that humans can’t make use of. People of many different countries have eaten its buds, leaves, and greens. Besides being tasty, it contains high levels of several vitamins and minerals. Its flowers are the prime ingredient in dandelion wine, and its roots have been turned into a coffee substitute. Herbalists from a variety of traditions have found medicinal potency in various parts of the plant. Last but not least, dandelions are pretty and fun to play with! In the coming weeks, Sagittarius, I invite you to approach the whole world as if it were a dandelion. In other words, get maximum use and value out of every single thing with which you interact.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “Intellect confuses intuition,” asserted painter Piet Mondrian. I don’t think that’s always true, even for creative artists. But in the coming week I suspect it’ll be important for you to take into consideration. So make sure you know the difference between your analytical thinking and your gut-level hunches, and don’t let your thinking just automatically override your hunches. Here’s more helpful advice from painter Robert Genn: “The job of the intellect is to give permission to the intuition, and it’s the job of intuition to know when intellect is once again appropriate.”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It’s time to seek help from outside the magic circle you usually stay inside. You need to call on extracurricular resources — people and animals and deities who can offer useful interventions and delightful serendipity and unexpected deliverance. The remedies that work for you most of the time just won’t be applicable in the coming days. The usual spiritual appeals will be irrelevant. I’m not saying that you are facing a dire predicament; not at all. What I’m suggesting is that the riddles you will be asked to solve are outside the purview of your customary guides and guidelines.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): These days lobsters are regarded as a luxury food, but that wasn’t the case among early Americans. In the 17th and 18th centuries, the large crustaceans were meals that were thought to be suitable only for poor people and prisoners. Wealthy folks wouldn’t touch the stuff. After examining your astrological omens, Pisces, I’m wondering if your future holds a similar transformation. I think there could very well be a rags-to-riches story in which an ignored or denigrated thing ascends to a more important role.