HOOPLA HOROSCOPES. WEEK OF AUGUST 23

Your weekly Hoopla Horoscopes, brought to you by prophet, astrologer and natural-born storyteller, Rob Brezny.

Week beginning August 23, 2012

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A guy I know was invited to hang one of his paintings in a New York gallery – on one condition. It had to be a piece he created on the spot, in the gallery, on the day the show opened. That would be way too much pressure for me to handle. I need to spend a long time on the stuff I make, whether it’s music or writing. I’ve got to fuss over every little detail as I constantly edit and refine and add layers. What about you, Virgo? Could you quickly come up with some new wrinkle or fresh creation that would show the world who you really are? I’m guessing we will soon find out.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you’ve been reading my horoscopes for a while, you know I’m not a decadent cynic who thinks “no pain, no gain” is the supreme formula for success. On the contrary. I think it’s quite possible to enjoy tremendous growth spurts when you’re happy and healthy. Pleasurable events can be great learning experiences. Joy and freedom may activate potentials that would otherwise remain dormant. Having said that, I want to make a suggestion that may seem at odds with my usual approach, even though it’s not. For the next two weeks, I encourage you to explore the necessary power of decay. Harness the archetypes of breakdown and dissolution as you put an end to things whose time is up. This work is key to your future rejuvenation and renaissance.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I’m going to ignore the Urban Dictionary’s more modern definitions of the word “yeast,” and stick to the original meaning: an agent of fermentation that brews alcoholic drinks and makes bread dough rise. Metaphorically speaking, Scorpio, you should be like that for your gang or crew or tribe. I urge you to stir up group morale. Provoke deeper thought and stronger feelings. Instigate some bubbly new trends and effervescent interactions. Be yeasty!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sussex is a county in southeast England. Its official motto is “We wunt be druv,” which is Sussex dialect for “We won’t be pushed around.” It’s not bad as mottoes go, I guess. There’s power in announcing to the world that you’re not going to allow anyone to manipulate you or bully you. But I’d like to see you come up with a more robust battle cry for yourself, Sagittarius — one that doesn’t focus on what you won’t do, but rather on what you will do. It’s an ideal astrological moment to articulate your driving purpose in a pithy formula that will give you strength whenever you invoke it.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “Most people consider global warming somewhat of a mixed blessing,” wrote Aaron Sankin on Huffington Post. “On one hand, there’s ocean acidification, deserts gobbling up wide swaths of farmland and the massive die-off of the innumerable species unable to cope with the effects of the world’s rapidly rising temperature. But, on the other hand, you’ll be able to wear shorts for literally the entire year.” Sankin is being deeply sarcastic, of course. Let’s make his satire a jumping-off point as we consider some sincerely worthwhile trade-offs you might want to implement in your own sphere. Would you be willing to sacrifice a trivial comfort for a new privilege? Would you shed a small pleasure to gain a much bigger pleasure? Might you divest yourself of a pocket of resentment if in doing so you’d attract a cleansing epiphany?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I don’t expect your travels in the coming weeks to be like a smooth luxury cruise in a stretch limousine. Your route is not likely to be a straight shot through breathtaking scenery with expansive views. No, my dear Aquarius, your journeys will be more complicated than that, more snakey and labyrinthine. Some of the narrow passages and weedy detours you’ll need to navigate may not even resemble paths, let alone highways. And your metaphorical vehicle may resemble a funky old 1967 Chevy pick-up truck or a forklift bedecked with flowers. It should be pretty fun, though. Keep in mind that your maps may only be partially useful.