Your weekly Hoopla Horoscopes, brought to you by prophet, astrologer and natural-born storyteller, Rob Brezsny.
Week beginning April 4, 2013
ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Art cannot be modern,” said Austrian painter Egon Schiele. “Art is primordially eternal.” I love that idea. Not all of the artifacts called “art” fit that scrupulous definition, of course. Katy Perry’s music and the film Wreck It Ralph may have some entertainment value, but they’re not primordially eternal. I bring this up, Aries, because I think you have entered a particularly wild and timeless phase of your own development. Whether or not you are literally an artist, you have a mandate to create your life story as a primordially eternal work of art.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “All my best ideas come from having no answer,” said pioneer filmmaker John Cassavetes, “from not knowing.” I hope that testimony cheers you up, Taurus. As hard as it may be for you to imagine, you are on the verge of a breakthrough. As you surf the chaotic flow and monitor the confusing hubbub, you are brewing the perfect conditions for an outburst of creativity. Rejoice in the blessing of not knowing!
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Sant is a Hindi word that comes from a Sanskrit verb meaning “to be good” and “to be real.” Personally, I know a lot of people who are either real or good. But few are both. The good ones tend to be overly polite, and the real ones don’t put a high priority on being nice. So here’s your assignment, Gemini: to be good and real; to have compassionate intentions even as you conduct yourself with a high degree of authenticity; to bestow blessings everywhere you go while at the same time being honest and clear and deep. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you have the power to pull off this strenuous feat.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Let’s take a look back at the first three months of 2013. How have you been doing? If I’m reading the astrological markers accurately, you have jettisoned a portion of the psychic gunk that had accumulated in you during the past six years. You have partially redeemed the shadowy side of your nature and you have to some degree ripened the most immature part. There’s also the matter of your heart. You have managed some healing of a wound that had festered there for a long time. So here’s my question for you: Is it possible for you to do more of this good work? The target date for completion is your birthday.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Naturalist Charles Darwin formulated the theory of evolution, which has been one of history’s most influential hypotheses. A crucial event in his early development as a scientist was a five-year boat trip he took around the world when he was in his twenties. The research he conducted along the way seeded many of his unique ideas. The writing he did established his reputation as a noteworthy author. And yet before his journey, his father tried to talk him out of embarking, calling it a “wild scheme” and “a useless undertaking.” Did your parents or other authorities ever have a similar response to one of your brilliant projects? If so, now would be a good time to heal the wound caused by their opposition.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I’ve got three sets of affirmations for you, Virgo. Say them out loud and see if they might work for you. 1. “I will be engrossed in fascinating experiences that feed my curiosity, but I will not be obsessed with grueling frustrations that drain my energy.” 2. “I will be committed to love if it opens my eyes and heart, but I will not be infatuated with maddening conundrums that jiggle my fear.” 3. “I will give myself freely to learning opportunities that offer me valuable lessons I can use to improve my life, but I will be skeptical toward rough-edged tests that ask far more from me than they offer in return.”
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Pole of inaccessibility” is a term that explorers use to identify places on the Earth that are hard — and interesting! — to get to. On each continent, it’s usually considered to be the spot that’s farthest from the coastline. For instance, there’s a pole of inaccessibility near the frozen center of Antarctica. Its elevation is over 12,000 feet and it has the planet’s coldest average temperatures. As for the oceanic pole of inaccessibility, it’s an area in the South Pacific that’s most remote from land. By my reckoning, Libra, you would benefit from identifying what your own personal version of this point is, whether it’s literal or metaphorical. I think it’s also a great time to transform your relationship with it.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Every April, the ancient Romans celebrated a festival known as Robigalia. Among the rites they performed were ceremonies to exorcize the god of rust and mildew. I suggest you consider reviving that old practice, Scorpio. You would benefit from spending a few days waging war against insidious rot. You could start by scrubbing away all the sludge, scum, and gunk from your home, car, and workplace. Next, make a similar effort on a metaphorical level. Scour the muck, glop, and grime out of your psyche.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.” Tinkerbell says that to Peter Pan in J.M. Barrie’s famous story. Sometime soon, I think you should whisper words like those to a person or animal you love. It’s time for you to be as romantic and lyrical as possible. You need to bestow and attract the nourishment that comes from expressing extravagant tenderness. For even better results, add this sweetness from French poet Paul Valéry: “I am what is changing secretly in you.” And try this beauty from Walt Whitman: “We were together. I forget the rest.”
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Naturalist John Muir (1838-1914) had an ecstatic relationship with the California wilderness. He studied it as a scientist and he worshiped it as a mystical devotee. During the course of his communion with the glaciers and peaks of the Sierra Nevada mountains, he came close to seeing them as living entities that evolved over long periods of time. “Glaciers move in tides,” he wrote. “So do mountains. So do all things.” With Muir as your inspiration, I invite you to identify the very gradual currents and tides that have flowed for years through your own life, Capricorn. It’s prime time to deepen your understanding and appreciation of the big, slow-moving cycles that have brought you to where you are today.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): American author William Faulkner won a Nobel Prize for literature, an indication that he had abundant talent. The prose he wrote was often experimental, cerebral, and complex. He was once asked what he would say to readers who found it difficult to grasp his meaning “even after reading it two or three times.” His reply: “Read it four times.” My counsel to you, Aquarius, is similar. When faced with a challenging event or situation that taxes your understanding, keep working to understand it even past the point where you would normally quit. There will be rewards, I promise.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Dear Rob: I just consulted an astrologer, and he told me that my planets are very weak because they’re in the wrong houses and have bad aspects. Please tell me what this means. Am I cursed? Is there any way to remedy my afflictions? – Paranoid Pisces.” Dear Pisces: Whoever told you that nonsense is an incompetent astrologer. You shouldn’t heed him. There’s no such thing as one’s planets being weak or being in the wrong houses or having bad aspects. There may be challenges, but those are also opportunities. Luckily, the coming weeks will be prime time for you Pisceans to overthrow the influence of inept “experts” and irresponsible authorities like him. Reclaim your power to define your own fate from anyone who has stolen it from you.
*Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of Free Will Astrology. As much a storyteller and prophet as astrologer, Brezsny brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work. In its profile of Brezsny, the New York Timesquoted a reader who compared his writing to that of the novelist Tom Robbins. The horoscopes “are like little valentines, buoyant and spilling over with mischievousness. They’re a soul prognosis.”
© Copyright 2012 Rob Brezsny