I’M BEAUTIFUL. DON’T HATE ME
Is this woman a total idiot? Or does she have a point?
Personally, I think she’s a total idiot.
Samantha Brick and French husband Pascal Rubinat. Photograph via Daily Mail.
Samantha Brick says that because she is tall, slim, blonde and pretty most females she meets are jealous. She claims to have been shunned in social circles, disadvantaged in the office and has never been invited to be a bridesmaid.
“I find that older women are the most hostile to beautiful women — perhaps because they feel their own bloom fading,” she writes in the UK Daily Mail.
“Women have always measured themselves against each other by their looks rather than achievements — and it can make the lives of the good-looking very difficult.”
Yep, Samantha is doing it tough.
I wouldn’t even bother with this story, except that I was born with a bi-lateral cleft palate and lip – a disadvantage in the looks department, you’d have to say – and my younger sister is a raving beauty.
My sister Helen is quite, quite stunning. A doppelganger for Sophia Loren. (On a trip together in Paris to she was trailed after by adoring multitudes shouting: “Sophia, Sophia”.)
Yes, grown men swoon in her presence and always have.
All her life my sister has fielded the bottles of champagne and suggestive notes from men, just as described by Ms Brick: “On a recent flight to New York, I was delighted when a stewardess came over and gave me a bottle of champagne.”
‘This is from the captain — he wants to welcome you on board and hopes you have a great flight today,’ she explained.
“You’re probably thinking ‘what a lovely surprise’. But while it was lovely, it wasn’t a surprise. At least, not for me.
“While I’m no Elle Macpherson, I’m tall, slim, blonde and, so I’m often told, a good-looking woman. I know how lucky I am. But there are downsides to being pretty — the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks.”
“I’m not smug and I’m no flirt, yet over the years I’ve been dropped by countless friends who felt threatened if I was merely in the presence of their other halves. If their partners dared to actually talk to me, a sudden chill would descend on the room.”
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63 Responses to this article
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AmandaLee April 4, 2012
‘Beauty is as beauty does’!!! Will someone please put this on a poster and send it to Samantha Brick.!
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blue April 4, 2012
I think she’s an idiot too Wendy.
Who is Smantha Brick anyway?
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Joni April 4, 2012
I’m going to disagree with you, Wendy….I had a friend who was a model and a genuinely lovely lady but saw and heard first hand some nasty behaviours directed at her for being so beautiful.
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Janine April 4, 2012
She isn’t disliked because she is pretty, my guess is that she is not liked because she is a witch with a capital ‘B’. My most beautiful friends are the women who go all out to help other people, treat everyone kindly and have a sense of humour with the smile and killer laugh to match. Oh, and they are the ones who are aging wonderfully too!
One of the ‘young things’ at work once commented on my increasing weight. I am a well-built size 16 and nearly 6ft tall. I let her know that I was size 10 before I had my kids and she has all this (and more) to look forward to as she gets older. She was a little shocked.
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Clare April 4, 2012
Am I the only one thinking: ‘She’s not that pretty’. I mean, she’s not ugly…
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Mez April 4, 2012
Not the only one. It was my first thought.
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zan April 4, 2012
Nope, first thing I noticed too. And not that young either
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Helen April 4, 2012
Who is with me when I say that Wendy Harmer is a fox?
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Janine April 4, 2012
Me!
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Jane Caro April 4, 2012
I have two beautiful daughters. One modeled for a while and the other has a smile that lights up the room. (They make Samantha look positively average, frankly.) They are 21 and 24.
They are popular with both men and women and their physical appearance is admired by many people (particularly by older women, who often say quietly to me – with real non-envious admiration – that they are gorgeous) just as they’d generously admire musical ability, sporting prowess or academic achievement.My eldest once got a bottle of champagne from the captain on a plane but that was because she helped deal with a young boy seated next to her who was travelling alone and had an allergic reaction. She persuaded him to confess to his allergies (his uncle had forbidden him to when he delivered him to the plane) and so enabled the flight crew to solve the problem via epipen. Nothing to do with her looks at all.
I think Ms Brick is unpopular because her self-awareness is clearly deeply flawed. -
Joni April 4, 2012
I know that this Samantha may irritate you but there is definitely a grain of truth in what she’s saying.
Fairy stories also have this premise, remember Cinderella and the Ugly Stepsisters, Snow White etc?
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A. Asad April 4, 2012
Samantha, dry your eyes, put away your mirror, take a deep breath and read what is being written about you – you might learn something worth knowing! (see Mrs brick’s response to the comments)
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SandsOfTime April 4, 2012
Wendy your description of your sister is just so gorgeous. I’m in the same boat with an utterly beautiful younger sister who has much the same characteristics as you describe in yours – I’ll be sending your article her way for sure. As for the Brick article, I read it yesterday with jaw hanging open (no doubt in a very un-beautiful way!) and found myself wondering all day long – what on earth convinced this woman that publishing this article was a good idea??
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Julie Morgan King April 4, 2012
Shoot the messenger, but not the message. We live in a world where even models find their pics airbrushed; where plastic surgery is becoming the norm; where young people. male and female are watching facile reality TV where the issue of looks is an obsession. Beauty salons are booked out as everyone has “procedures” ranging from laser to injections and it’s all considered normal. Many celebs have talked about the harshness with which they are judged eg Jessica Rowe, who constantly cops comments about her appearance and has spoken publicly about it. Anyone using social media will know that beautiful people are routinely called names; “ugly bitch” is common. The woman has a point, but she has approached the issue from a warped perspective. BTW I too have several gorgeous looking grown up kids, but discussing people’s looks – good or not so – in our home is a complete no-no.
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Kath April 4, 2012
Why are we giving this woman, so full of internalised misogyny, airtime? She doesn’t serve any purpose to real conversation about appearance based prejudice and the expectation of women to conform to a cultural standard of beauty to be valued.
Wendy – tell your story and your sister’s… but leave people like Ms Brick out of it – she’s a waste of our attention.
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Sal April 4, 2012
Surely that kind of delusion suggests some kind of mental illness? It’s certainly not normal behaviour. I doubt her “friends” shun her because of her beauty; it’s more likely that they avoid her because she’s a raving loon.
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julie April 4, 2012
For goodness sake. My dog is far more beautiful to me than most human beings- apart from my kids and grandkids. If someone has to tell you they’re beautifull they have an issue. People can see (inner) beauty for themselves. If outer ‘beauty’ is all you are valued for- then poor you
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Linda April 4, 2012
I am agreeing with Sal, shunned for what is inside not the outside- delusion is a lovely place to live.
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Lynnie April 4, 2012
She can’t be serious!!!!
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Sandy Gandhi April 4, 2012
Brick veneer more like it.
Namaste Wendy
Samdy x -
QP April 5, 2012
Really…… I have seen better looking women at a seniors home than this lady.
We must watch how we use the word beautiful. Her looks are average at best.
Elizabeth Taylor was Beautiful and So is Lena Horne
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Susila April 5, 2012
Ah my fellow Hooplarians. I was going to say something but you’ve all said it so well! You crack me up girls.
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sharon April 5, 2012
Whilst I somewhat understand her annoyance at her experience, I’m fairly jaundiced about it generally. She needs to experience some real prejudice, some everyday hardship before she complains about her life. A week in a childrens hospital maybe…?
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elizabeth April 5, 2012
She works for the Daily Mail, a not so classy newspaper in the UK. Lots of publicity for them, which may be at the root of this. I think she is deluded myself. Would love to hear from some of her associates or “friends” if the poor girl has any.
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Am April 5, 2012
Instead of choosing to show that women can be beautiful, intelligent and classy she has instead proved her friends right by being pretty and bitchy.
Couldn’t she have found something more ‘female empowering’ to talk about? -
julie April 5, 2012
How to win friends and influence people! She may not have any friends and be as thick as her surname, but she’s certainly got publicity no money can buy. Shame that stories of stupidity like this and the teenage girls on youtube yesterday seem to garner so much attention. No wonder our society is so screwed up.
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Sharon April 5, 2012
To me she sounds like a fairly narcissistic person who doesn’t have much empathy – there are lots of people like this in the world and I usually have very little in common with them.
However, I am surprised at the number of comments here which are so derogatory – I don’t see how personal insults help at all?!
Wendy, your sister sounds like a lovely person
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MoniqueN April 5, 2012
For a different perspective try reading her article ‘My husband says he’ll divorce me if I get fat’ – it actually brought me around to feeling profoundly sorry for her as it seems her entire life has been one never ending beauty pageant in which she always places second…
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1342630/My-husband-says-hell-divorce-I-fat.html
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Sharon April 5, 2012
MoniqueN, I just read the article you linked – wow!
I can’t help but wonder if the boorish behaviour of her husband over their years together has enhanced her narcissism (probably the real reason that her friends are dropping her) – if only she could see it!
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MoniqueN April 5, 2012
I think her self esteem has become completely warped by the relentless scrutiny on her weight. Her husband will stay with her as long as she stays perfect – and she has internalized the message that if she isn’t beautiful then she won’t be loved because she is nothing.
It certainly explains the article – her husband wants a woman on his arm that other men will envy. If she no longer fits the bill she will be replaced with version 3.0 – so her only option here is to do whatever it takes to convince herself (and by extension her husband) that she is still attractive to other men. She’s a status symbol, a trophy and it sounds like a desperately lonely life…
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Sharon April 5, 2012
I agree wholeheartedly MoniqueN – what made me especially sad for her was that her father feels the same way as her husband
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Sally April 5, 2012
Wendy very well written indeed. I completely agree, Ms Brick must have the personality of a brick – a particularly unremarkable one at that, probably more cream brick than red.
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Polly April 5, 2012
Gawd I’m still laughing… this IS a joke right? no really.. it supposed to be a joke yes?
dear god save me………. -
Candice April 5, 2012
But she isn’t even pretty…man, she has tickets on herself.
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Min April 5, 2012
After looking at Ms Brick Ive realised wot a bloody stunner I am!
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Gwen April 5, 2012
The article MoniqueN alerted us to indicates why her husband married her ( and it wasn’t for her brains, sparkling conversational skills or her generous nature) and what a p**** he is. I suspect she has very poor self esteem indeed and it explains why she is suprised by the backlash she has received (but we are not).
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Maureen April 5, 2012
Physical beauty is so subjective. I never consider anyone’s physical appearance, only their outlook and personality- that is what true beauty is!
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Siham Owen April 5, 2012
I don’t know what mirror Ms Brick is looking at but she’s no raving beauty very plain and boring if you ask me, seen her kind all over the world nothing unique about her….
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Heather April 5, 2012
I find some women (many?) are extremely jealous and competitive. I can totally relate to those who say those couples watch me like a hawk and give me death stares, as if I am just waiting to steal their man. I never flirt, I’m quiet and reserved and very sweet and kind-hearted. When I go out, many of the older women also give me filthy looks as if I am competition. As if! And I am just average looking! I have my good points, as do most women. If these horrible, jealous women would learn to let their hearts love a little more, they would come across more beautiful too. There is nothing uglier than cruelty, arrogance and jealousy.
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Tara Moss April 5, 2012
I’ve got to say, this article at The Guardian sums it up the Samantha Brick phenomenon nicely: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/apr/04/samantha-brick-thrown-to-wolves?CMP=twt_gu
At Heathrow airport yesterday Brick was everywhere. The Mail heavily promoted her reaction-to-the-reaction piece, in which she foolishly compared herself to Brad Pitt. They gave a full page to the demeaning hate mail she’d been sent. It’s a sad set up, if ever I have seen one.
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Jane April 5, 2012
you might have been born with a cleft palete Wendy but you’re still sexy as hell
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Robyn April 5, 2012
Aw, boo hoo, I can hear those tiny violins again… Maybe people aren’t avoiding Ms Brick because she is beautiful (I would have said “pretty” myself). Maybe they’re avoiding her because she has a simply enormous ego. If she spent more time talking to people decently and less time looking in the mirror and congratulating herself, maybe she would do better socially.
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Keryn April 6, 2012
Hilarious (because it is totally bizarre)!
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Keryn April 6, 2012
I once knew a woman who told us she didn’t get an air hostess (yes, back in the day) job because she was so blindingly beautiful she would make all other the other air hostesses jealous – what the???
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Daphne Alaksa April 6, 2012
When you get old enough you end up with lots of wrinkles, some grey in your hair and possibly a great deal of arthritis. If this poor woman actually wishes to delude herself by considering herself magnificently beautiful good luck to her. Perhaps she doesn’t have a great life apart fom that. Life is a marvellous thing, and really looks are not all that important in the scheme of things. Surely being smart , able to get on well with people and having interesting things you love to do are of far greater importance. Hope you all have a great Easter break and do all the things you love with the people you love to be with.
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michelle murray April 6, 2012
you r a goose, You are not one bit attractive. You just want attention.
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Carmel April 6, 2012
Could this be an April Fool’s joke? If not – Samantha Brick is a total fool, and an extremely conceited one at that.
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Julie McG April 7, 2012
I find it difficult to comment on beauty because it is such a vexed issue. Some people definitely are so beautiful they cause people to bump into things as they walk past. Then, there are many different kinds of beauty: Marilyn Munroe, Helen Hunt, Whoopi Goldberg, Aung San Suu Kyi – I find them all beautiful. And it is so true that it doesn’t matter in the slightest. What does matter is when someone makes me feel something in a profound way, lighten my day, help me understand the world or crack me up with a witchy laugh. That describes Wendy Harmer to me; and, I reckon she looks pretty cute as well. Thanks for all you do Wendy, you are a champ.
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Joni April 13, 2012
This article sums up nicely what Ms Brick is saying. http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/too-sexy-for-her-own-sex-20120413-1wxj6.html
BTW, it’s not her looks or beauty, it’s her sex appeal that she is getting the male attention for.
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Mischelle May 2, 2012
Isn’t devoting a story holding someone up for ridicule in just as bad taste as the person being ridiculed? Many of the views shared are true with most comments minus personal quips, but surely this isn’t a gossip page? Women are discriminated against on both sides of the beauty spectrum..We should be uniting not divided..Reaching out to each other in fighting the disturbing increase in male domination turning young women into sex objects for Daily Terror readers. The ugliness of violent foozball, which is propped up by family destroying super sports clubs stacked with hundreds of pokies where sad people spend their life’s savings to pay big ‘HE’ men 500k a year to kick a ball.
