ALAN BROUGH’S FRIDAY QUIZ
Politicians say some very stupid things.
So much so that I have compiled a quiz about the imprudent, inappropriate and downright incomprehensible statements made by the people we trust to start wars, build enough schools and be nice to the Queen when she pops around.
You don’t have to know anything about politics to do this quiz. Indeed most of the folks mentioned in the quiz don’t seem to know much about politics. In fact they seem to know very little about anything.
Before you embark on this quiz here is some helpful advice from the late President of the United States Dwight Eisenhower, “The world is more like it is now then it ever was before.”
1. True or false: Shadow Treasurer Joe Hockey (left) once compared Treasurer Wayne Swan to Paris Hilton?
2. Complete this quote by a well-informed American politician: “Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after…”
a. Death?
b. Birth?
c. Age 25?
d. Dropping off?
3. Who am I? I am an ex-Australian Prime Minister with a scathing turn of phrase. I said things like, “I suppose that the Honourable Gentleman’s hair, like his intellect, will recede into the darkness” and “He is all tip and no iceberg”. You voted me out in 1996 you dull-witted hobos!
4. Which of these is NOT a real quote from a politician talking about the situation in the Middle East?
a. ‘The Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries.’
b. ‘…a fight between two bald men over a comb.’
c. ‘The best positive thing you can do is not to tell them to stop on both sides to fight and to go back to talk is the only way out of that. And it’s what I said and I said that.’
5. Complete this obviously stupid quote attributed to former French President Charles De Gaulle: “China is a big country, inhabited by many _______.”
a. Alaskans.
b. Chinese.
c. Tasmanians.
d. Girls named Raylene.
6. Who said this, “If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?”
a. A vegan.
b. Sarah Palin.
c. A butcher.
d. God.
7. Which of these statements were NOT made by former US vice-president and gaffe-a-holic Dan Quayle?
a. ‘If we don’t succeed we run the risk of failure.’
b. ‘I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.’
c. ‘Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and a child.’
8. True or false: Former US Vice President Al Gore thinks ‘a zebra does not change its spots?’
9. Which of the following words complete this quote: “Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from _______?”
a. Outer space.
b. Mum.
c. Overseas.
d. The pixies.
10. In 25 words or less come up with a quote to go with this picture of the leader of the Australian Party, Bob Katter.
(Best answer, judged by me, wins a prize. Just write your answer in the comments box below. Good luck!)
See next page for answers>>
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64 Responses to this article
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RES July 27, 2012
What are my chances of joining the Village People?
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Julie Nash July 27, 2012
“I definitely said I’ve go two balls not two bulls!! and I’m standing firm!!
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airdre grant July 27, 2012
I think I look rather attractive in my high vis shirt and tie. I’m going for a manly, yet devilishly sophisticated, look.
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Marg Davis July 27, 2012
My mum made me wear em!
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Helen July 27, 2012
Is that a T or an F on my hat logo?
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Calloway Luddington July 27, 2012
I missed my weekly manicure and my nails are a nightmare. I don’t suppose you could do something with Photoshop?
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Tara N July 27, 2012
I’m more than ready for the re-make of Dallas.
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annie July 27, 2012
ETU extra tight undies, and I am man enough to wear them but the hard hat helps.
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Lisa Aherne July 27, 2012
Electrical Trades Union? Someone told me I was the new Deputy Sheriff!
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Sam W July 27, 2012
Get off your horse and drink your milk – Eat your heart out John Wayne!
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Stephen July 27, 2012
Come on boys, I’ve seen bigger… hats, that is.
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Carla July 27, 2012
Bob Cater annouces he will personally take on the job of chosing who enters our country as leader of his newly formed “emmigration Trade Union”.
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Kevin John July 27, 2012
Bob Katter: “I’m the real Bob The Builder.”
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Janet July 27, 2012
If I stand like this, do you think Julia will take me seriously now?
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Julie July 27, 2012
Me an’ Bob Ell will get the NSW/Qld border area sorted. Concrete Kirra, Kill Koalas in Kings Forest! God’s own country
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Amacamchumps Sarah July 27, 2012
Colonel Katter, a man from cattle and mining, to conservative politics. For someone from the far north, he sure likes the deep south.
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Merryl Chantrell July 27, 2012
Veni Vidi Vici
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VRog July 27, 2012
“It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A”
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Andrew July 27, 2012
Gay?! Do I look gay?!!!??!
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Jenny July 27, 2012
You want me for Dallas ? My Electorate is bigger than Texas fool.
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Maureen Player July 27, 2012
‘In all this excitement I kind of lost track myself…so you gotta ask yourself,Queensland: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punks?’
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Pete July 27, 2012
The next smartar$e that makes a Village People comment gets to spend 17 minutes with Rob Oakeshott.
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Peter July 27, 2012
When I told dad I wanted a cowboy outfit for Christmas – I didn’t mean the Electrical Trades Union!
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Liz Brooks July 27, 2012
See me, hear me, feel me (apologies to The Who!)
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sue bell July 27, 2012
This is my serious look, but really I am thinking of tinned spaghetti for tea.
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maggie July 27, 2012
My brother invited me over for a dinner party with some of friends and said to dress for the occasion
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Kilgore Trout July 27, 2012
If you can’t beat me, join me! Or just beat me.
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Allison July 27, 2012
Still like the Village People caption the best!
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Trystyn July 27, 2012
Wait, there’s a what on my hat?
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Danny Dix July 27, 2012
Y’all make ooonnne more remark bout mah gay hat and this here woofy cardigan ….you gonna git yorself a nasty case a Kattscratch fever.
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Danny Dix July 27, 2012
Yeah…like ah ain’t heard that kat inna hat joke never before.
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Danny Dix July 27, 2012
And I’m tellin you…..I was wearin this here hat looonng afore Molly Meldrum was even a thought bubble floatin’ next to he’s daddy’s noggin.
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Danny Dix July 27, 2012
Mmmm……………………..beer.
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Danny Dix July 27, 2012
“and then she said to me……Katter…..Katt baby…..Kat-in-the-hat man……why don’t you come up and see me sometime……and umm….bring your horse with you honey”
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Rhoda July 27, 2012
Ha ha!
Now let’s see you do something really tough! Inspire me!
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Danny Dix July 27, 2012
PHOTO OPPORTUNITY MAN.
Open more hours than a 7/11 -
Danny Dix July 27, 2012
Ahhhh it feels great to git that first photo bomb for the day outta the way….beat THIs Abbottom.
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Danny Dix July 27, 2012
Hmmm…Ah wuz thinkin’…know what ya git wen ya sings a country westn song backwards? Ya git ya wife and yer house an yer dog back is wat yer git….hmmm
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Danny Dix July 27, 2012
Oh hai…I is in your pc, usin’ up yor pixels.
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Danny Dix July 27, 2012
(that’s all I got)
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Sarah Boggs July 27, 2012
you like me you really me I am the answer to all Julia’s problems.To see me is to love me.
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Trish July 27, 2012
“Safety 1st boys & girls – stay well away from the ETU -Extremely Twisted Unick” (yeah I know it’s spelt eunuck, but its more funny this way!!) lol
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shellie July 28, 2012
“corrrrr….. look at the ass on that guy. It’s meaner than the taut rump on my prize bull.”
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Judith Rubbish July 28, 2012
The new leader of Tracy Island was quoted as saying “Thunderbirds Are Go!”
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Nada S July 28, 2012
Ohh no, it smells – ah didn’t bring a clean pair a undies with me! I’ll just pretend ah didn’t do it…
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Ross July 28, 2012
What I really want to be when I grow up is a cowboy!
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Rachel July 28, 2012
I’ll show that Yogi Bear he’s not “smarter than the av-er-age bear!”
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Marnie July 29, 2012
Had it made special. I call it the Excrement Tip Up hat. No matter how much they throw, it’s not gonna land on MY head.
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Sue Nolan July 29, 2012
The ultimate new style in hard hats for Queensland workers, Bob says.
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TMT July 29, 2012
I aint smart and I aint clever but damn I look good in a hat. Peace, love and don’t let them gays fool ya.
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Brendan July 30, 2012
Is it?…hmm yeah I think…it’s the hemorrhoid but there is a small chance I s’pose that they might have left some of the colonoscopy apparatus up there…? Nah…it’s the ‘roid.
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Danny Dix July 31, 2012
Gems of wisdom from the Bob Katter book of knowledge:
*Never squat while wearin’ spurs.
*Never miss a good chance to shut up.
.
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Danny Dix July 31, 2012
I reckon there are three types of men.
Those that read to learn,
Those that learn from others,
And those that just have to go pee on the electric fence. -
Danny Dix July 31, 2012
And remember folks…letting the Katt outta the bag is a whole lot easier than trying’ to get it back in.
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Danny Dix July 31, 2012
* Ok I’m really done now, except to say…if you find yourself at the bottom of a political hole….best to stop digging.
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Danny Dix July 31, 2012
Oh wait…
Bob, I saw you lift your bulls tail and kiss it.
Is that a country way of curing chapped lips?No lil buddy, it just stops me lickin’ em.
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Danny Dix July 31, 2012
Omg I’m truly sorry Wendy, this has become a KATTastrophy.
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Danny Dix July 31, 2012
Krudd told me…heading up a political party is a lot like ridin’ a cattle drive, Bob.
If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd,
Look back occasionally just to make sure it’s still there.
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Jackie August 2, 2012
Don’t Mess With Texas….oops I mean Australia…oops I mean Queensland…Bugger you know what I mean!
