EXCUSE ME, A LITTLE CIVILITY PLEASE?
The erosion of civility can be seen by looking through the window of a taxi late on a Saturday night in the city.
The Daily Telegraph has reported on the culture clash between “angry white females and migrant taxi drivers”. Photograph by Sam Ruttyn.
In one corner – the drunk, outspoken, scantily-clad young woman.
In the other – the male taxi driver from Central Asia or the Middle East.
It’s become a battle of the “isms”: the women accused of racism for being culturally insensitive; the drivers of sexism for taking offense at forthright Western women. Now, the taxi industry has developed ‘cultural training’ to avoid passenger conflict.
It’s a sad indictment on our society that we need lessons in common courtesy. “Civility costs nothing, and buys everything,” Mary Wortley Montagu wrote back in the 18th century.
Now, everywhere you turn, people are itching for a fight:
*A federal Cabinet Minister tells a shop owner to “f#@k off” because she doesn’t have enough pies.
*Protesters display ‘Ditch the Bitch’ placards at anti-carbon tax rallies.
*Celebrities like Russell Crowe, Barry Hall and Nick D’Arcy blame “brain snaps” for violent outbursts.
*Commentators call an Olympic swimmer “fat”, while silver medal-winners are dubbed “failures”.
*A 20-year-old man is stabbed in an unprovoked road rage attack in Sydney’s southwest.
*Instead of sorting out their differences, work colleagues threaten legal action.
*Talkback radio hosts prey on the fears of their listeners to vilify the vulnerable.
*Trolls spew hate from their dark suburban caves.
The comments section following the taxi story on www.news.com.au is a case in point.
“Nothing classier than these drunk slappers!” wrote Slap Town of Slapper Land.
“Send ‘em (the drivers) back to where they came from!” wrote another. Anonymity sharpens their poison pens.
This level of aggression is stifling sensible debate.
Where does it come from? Is it a lack of civility shown by some public figures and politicians that gives the cue for others to behave badly? Or are they merely mirroring the anger that’s already out there?
Whatever it is, it’s clear we need a circuit breaker.
In his new book, Hope, Tim Costello calls for a heightened level of public discourse – dare I say it – a return to political correctness.
He believes, by avoiding racist, sexist, and homophobic language, we follow the better angels of our nature.
In contrast, Opposition Leader Tony Abbott is pledging to water down anti-discrimination laws. These are the same laws under which News Ltd. columnist Andrew Bolt was prosecuted for offending fair-skinned Aboriginal people. Abbott says it is impossible to have a test for “hurt feelings.” He says they interfere with the “fearless pursuit of truth.”
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28 Responses to this article
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Matt August 7, 2012
Good article. It’s pretty simple. Treat people as you would like to be treated. And if the muppets persist, avoid as best as possible.
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tina August 7, 2012
The self entitled gen y brat class concerns me
When Prince gets attacked at The Hi Fi Bar in Melbourne its pathetic
Be nice and classy
simple
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tina August 7, 2012
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pat August 7, 2012
Youre a lovely woman Tracey!!
Gorgeous heart and soul with this article
nice!!;)
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Nareen Young August 7, 2012
I’ve always thought that ‘political correctness’ is simply being polite. Why would anyone deliberately go out of their way to hurt anyone else, or say something that offends another human being?? What is it exactly that you want to say about someone else? We can disagree with the way other people live, but why hurt?? We need leadership on this. Our experience at DCA (see http://www.dca.org.au) is that workplaces, and thus productivity, suffer when there is a culture of ” I can say what I like”. Great piece Tracey.
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Jane Caro August 7, 2012
Having been guilty of hitting ‘send’ on an angry response when I should have paused and then thought better of it, it is not for me to preach.
All I will say is we have a highly pressurised, blame oriented, anxious society and sometimes the pressure bursts out.
As long as we measure worth according to “productivity” and “continuous improvement” (nothing in life actually continuously improves) and argue there is no such thing as society, we will have a community that simmers with anger (a secondary emotion that is a response to fear, exhaustion, hurt and a sense of failure and humiliation).
The more unequal a society becomes, the more violent it gets. As our govts become more punitive and right wing, expect this kind of reaction to unrelenting pressure to get worse.
Sorry to be so gloomy. -
The Huntress August 7, 2012
I’ve been thinking for a long time that good manners and courtesy could do with a come back. I actually think that etiquette lessons in high schools (as part of home economics, maybe) would go a long way. Maybe a lesson a term dedicated to simple things such as how to greet someone, how to introduce people, how to initiate conversation and how to dress appropriately for an occasion. I know many people have moved away from this slightly more formal outlook on life, but personally I would love to see a return to slightly more formal behaviour.
If the general public had better communication skills and less outrage peddaled by the Bolts, Today/Tonights and ACA’s of the world, perhaps we would see a reduction in anger and hatred. Outrightedly condemning racism, sexism, homophobia etc. is the way, winding back anti-vilification laws is akin to opening the gates for the trolls. It won’t be pretty.
Incidently, I could not help but wonder if Abbott is in such hot pursuit of freedom to speak the truth, why is he not doing more to aid Julian Assange? Just a thought…
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Sandy Gandhi August 7, 2012
At the risk of being apolitically correct…
A drunk woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi at a Durban taxi Rank.
The Indian driver opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman and made no attempt to start the cab.
“What’s wrong with you Luv, haven’t you ever seen a naked woman before?”
“I’ll not be staring at you lady, I am telling you, that would not be proper, where I am coming from”.
“Well if you’re not bloody staring at me Luvie, what are you doing then?”
“Well, I am looking and looking, and I am thinking to myself, where is this lady keeping the money to be paying me with?”
Namaste Memsahib Tracey and fellow Hooplarians,
Sandy x -
pat August 7, 2012
Snarky commentators in the media dont help either
The neo-con gen y who impose this shallow analysis on sky news is sad to watch!!!
They are part of the problem and not the solution to engaging in a civil discourse
mediocrity rules with overated megaphones
ugh
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airdre grant August 7, 2012
I find difficult the nature of the discourse: It’s I’m right and you’re wrong, and you’re stupid etc etc ( insert personal insult here). Addressing the issue has been lost behind attacking the person. Dignity and grace are such admirable qualities and so noticeably absent. Do our politicians realise this, do you think?
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julie p August 7, 2012
And don’t get me started about how the use of the ‘f’ word has become so very cool.!
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pat August 7, 2012
Obama is a great orator and a wonderful speaker that our politicos should emulate
Brains with panache
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moiby August 7, 2012
Great article. I agree with it all. One thing though: Shorten thought the shopkeeper insulted the Labor Party – it wasn’t about the pies.
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amd August 7, 2012
“In one corner – the drunk, outspoken, scantily-clad young woman. In the other – the male taxi driver from Central Asia or the Middle East.” What did they actually say and do? Based on this, we cannot make any kind of informed comment. Additionally, what exactly are the laws and how are they to be changed? Again, we cannot make any sort of informed comment based on the information given.
And, as I’ve said elsewhere on this site: There is nothing new under the sun. Nothing. This is not a new phenomena. Plato said: “What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?”
And another one from the 8th century BC: “I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words… When I was young, we were taught to be discrete and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise [disrespectful] and impatient of restraint”. (Hesiod).
It’s a cycle, nothing more. What I also found interesting from watching old Twilight Zones from the 50′s and 60′s recently was how they were saying exactly the same sorts of things about society then as now. Every generation thinks it has the inside track on societal problems. Eventually, hopefully human beings will out-evolve our penchant for violence (assuming we make it that far), but in the meantime, this is not news, it’s olds.
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janice August 7, 2012
The majority of our commentators namely sport are cringeworthy
The sexist and awful analysis during the olympics comes to mind on a commercial network
Sooo over it!!!
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Jo August 7, 2012
Tracey, I read the introduction of your piece and went searching for a thought provoking conversation I heard last between Fran Kelly and Tim Costello on Radio National breakfast as the conversation spoke a lot about the loss of civility and it touched a cord with me. As the other browser page was loading, I came back to your article (as you do) and read your reference to Tim’s book Hope, which I am reading and enjoying. I have included the link to the conversation, food for the mind and the spirit. There is a wonderful eeflection that Tim costello shares “where you sit determines what you see” http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/breakfast/hope-tim-costello/4168604
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Melanie August 7, 2012
It should not matter if the woman is scantily clad or wearing a burka, she got into the taxi to be taken somewhere. Driving is the taxi drivers job, the woman doesn’t have to be sensitive to his culture if it clashes with her own rights to wear what she damn well wants. But being drunk and obnoxious is another thing…. I do pity cab drivers, they have a job of many stresses.
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Deb Callahan August 7, 2012
I am currently studying Early Childhood Development and have just had my fifth of six classes (with 6 or so Assessment pieces associated) on the subjects of inclusiveness, biases, media stereotypes and tolerance… This is for zero to five year olds! I’m glad to see some of us still consider it an issue that we need to start early on… As usual the Conservatives do my head in! What about the good ol’ Christian credo of ‘The Golden Rule’… Surely to sacrifice the legislative framework in the name of ‘free speech’ would send us backwards? I just don’t understand people sometimes… Ignorance definitely IS NOT bliss?!
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Liz August 7, 2012
I agree with Melanie. It shouldn’t matter what a woman wears. This is our culture in our country. We shouldn’t have to change to suit everybody else’s culture. If you are paid to do a job you should do it.
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Maddie August 7, 2012
Tracey, thank you for raising this topic, you are spot on. PS Jane Caro, I also really agree with your comments. Why oh why can’t we have such sensible thinking on those horrid AM radio shows (excluding ABC and similar of course).
Sometimes I think that some people would rather just be part of a mob mentality as they just can’t be bothered to be informed of the facts….it has become so prevalent over the past 5-10 yrs, I hope Australia doesn’t continue on this dumbing down path like the US has done.
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Rhoda August 8, 2012
If a woman jumped into my taxi without any clothes on she wouldn’t be going anywhere either. Last time I looked it was called indecent exposure. And wouldn’t you be worried she’d been raped or something. Or that someone would be following with intent. Wouldn’t a female taxi driver born in Sydney NSW stare at the same spectacle or would you just expect her to ask where do you want to go love.
Know this article isn’t about the above but was a little surprised at some of the responses.
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ellenni August 8, 2012
i have watched the demise of courtesy over the last 50 years. i think however we are seeing what the media reports and most people are still respectful of others. what can one do about those who think its ok to get drunk every weekend and generally make idiots of themselves. one can only hope they will grow up.
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Rhoda August 9, 2012
Agree with you gogirl.
Civility is a practiced art and there’s little evidence that anyone practices it. Everyone is having a meltdown instead.
There is no point to vitriol. Use of it loses you the argument straight away. You cannot convince anyone with it. It locks you into combat. It devalues everything you have to say.
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Gecko00 September 24, 2012
FirstlyI must comment on the naked woman in the taxi. For any male of any age working in any occupation putting themselves in a position where they are alone for any period of time with a naked intoxicated female is in the very least “not a good idea”. And who gets to clean the seat before the next fare.
Up until a few weeks ago I was very supportve of a multi cultural work force. I went to have my tax done at my usual place.The new accountant did my tax. He was asian and as I struggled to understand what he was saying I consoled myself that he understood my instructions as he was smiling and nodding enthuastically. WRONG
