DEAR BEST FRIEND, YOU’RE DUMPED
I never should have let it get to this. There were plenty of tell-tale signs after all.
The differences of opinion, the contrasting takes on life; I’d find something funny, she would sit still and sigh.
But it became ever more apparent as I would strike a whinge to husband on return from a night out with said friend.
“How’d it go?” he would inquire on my return.
My replies must have sounded like an old ’45 stuck on a scratch: “You wouldn’t believe what she said!” or “She’s never ready when I pick her up” or “She’s so self-absorbed!”
The friendship started out and evolved like any other. We enjoyed mutual interests, worked in the same industry, enjoyed the company of each other’s partners and, over time, shared a number of experiences together – the stuff of which friendships are founded on, right?
But after a while, the cracks started to appear.
It was like her little nuances that for so long seemed somewhat amusing and idiosyncratic had suddenly crescendoed from an inconsequential hum to a grating bloody roar.
Suddenly, the princess behaviour, the fact that everything is always on her terms, her forgetting your birthday but expecting a big hoo-hah on hers every year, spilling the beans on something you told in confidence, well, started to peeve-big time.
But still, I continued to socialise with her. It’s tricky with mutual friends.
While it’s not good for the soul to bitch and moan about your “mates” behind their backs when they’ve rubbed you the wrong way, I needed to vent my angst and so found myself in a state of internal turmoil, a kind of cognitive dissonance. I am here with you but I don’t want to be.
Hanging out with someone I had grown tired of within a group situation served up a conundrum.
Do I stop going out with the group and miss spending time with others just to avoid said frenemy, or just head out with all as a group and keep frenemy at arm’s length?
Of course, I am not saying I am blameless here; that I am the flawless one whose exemplary qualities extend from Karratha to Kununurra.
Far, far from it. In fact, I’m convinced it was my shift that brought about our demise.
I’ve been around long enough to know that while it’s a special thing to share experiences over time with friends, as we continue to grow, evolve and find our place in this world, sometimes we have a friend who just doesn’t deliver the goods anymore. Sometimes, their company fails to hit the mark, they take the mick a little toooo much or sometimes, they’ve pissed you off countless bloody times to warrant any further effort!
Enough is enough.
And so I took my stand. I stopped the calls and politely declined the offers – hypocrisy isn’t in my back pocket anymore.
I think it is for the best, and I think you do too. It’s ok, I’m not saying we have to be enemies or anything.
I’m just not that into you anymore.
Ever dumped a bestie? Why and how did you go about it?
*Samantha Whiteley is a freelance writer based in Perth