THE DATING PROJECT #13: CLEAVAGE
The Dating Project follows the adventures of three women Lou Lou ( 30s), Astrid (40s) and Eloise (50s) as they navigate the tricky online dating scene. Along the way they have the support and advice of renowned sex therapist Bettina Arndt and relationship counsellor Rob Tiller.
Astrid’s on the move this week and it’s all due to her wonderful, new photos.
We started off just seeking some more flattering profile pics but the process turned out to be fascinating because Astrid is a woman who’s lived through a massive weight loss in the last few years – having shed an amazing 43 kilos.
She’s an attractive woman who’s spent so many years disguising her weight that she still dresses as if she has something to hide. Yet she now has a great body which bears witness to the many hours she’s spent with her personal trainer and doing her weight training.
So this was something to celebrate but it took a bit of doing getting her out of the black turtlenecks into something more flattering.
Luckily we had her sweet, young daughter with us, barracking from the sidelines (and promising she’s never going to let Mum out on a date in her cover-up mode.)
Our young photographer, Manon, took some terrific photos – lively, bright, flattering shots which expose her youthful neckline and even a hint of cleavage (something which hasn’t seen the light of day for an awfully long time!).
It’s made all the difference, upping the traffic to her profile and increasing her hit rate. Such good news for Astrid.
But also a lesson to everyone that it is really worth making the effort and getting those photos right.
If you aren’t receiving the response you want to your profile get someone to give you feedback on your photos to make sure you are doing yourself justice (Sydneysiders looking for an extremely inexpensive, yet talented photographer are welcome to contact Manon through me.)
Now for the continuing adventures of Lou Lou:
Some rom-coms, especially those featuring Katherine Heigl, get the ‘relationship with the one’ off to a rocky start. It adds to the comedy and the pay-off of the first kiss is that much sweeter.
So I am thinking this may be the case for Man#7 and I. He is a rock-climber in his spare time… maybe he is also partial to recreating similarly rocky terrain in other aspects of his life??
See, I am very much ‘eyes wide open’ here. And this is no mean feat given he is seriously throwing some boulders in my path. First of all, we start with a bit of flirty chat online. He’s very cheeky and sharp. A big tick. Although… he does seem a little preoccupied with my internet dating history. I am beginning to feel like I am in the middle of a job interview: What is your conversion rate of kisses to dates? Have you ever been successful in sealing the deal and taking your prospect home? How experienced would you say you are?
Is this endearing or weird? I’m not sure… We agree to meet up in two days time. He cancels. Well technically he doesn’t cancel, but at the last minute he requests a dramatic change of location, which is the equivalent of saying: Could we move the date from Sydney to Perth?!
Okay, slight exaggeration. But I politely decline. It’s a Friday night and a trek in cold weather and heels excites me as much as starting my tax return.
However the following day I receive a text from him asking me how my weekend is going. How thoughtful – I genuinely mean that! After a few texts back and forth, he texts me at midnight requesting a photo of what I look like this VERY moment. Is he asking for a nudie shot? Is this cheeky or creepy? I’m not sure…
A few days later we are on the phone having a conversation. He seems impressed by odd things like – my ability to drive a manual car and the fact that I am ‘financially liquid’. Is this cute or strange? I’m not sure…
We go on a date. And in my mind the ‘sanity barometer’ is wildly swinging from insane to sane throughout our conversational stream. I really like his honesty and vulnerability. But telling me he is googling how to pick up women in foreign countries for his next overseas trip is total ‘over-share’. I’m a big fan of his quirky outlook but can’t get my head around his belief that he is now ready to settle down because he could handle his prospective girlfriend accidentally falling pregnant.
Is he eccentric or bonkers? At he end of the date he offers to drive me home. I once again politely decline. So he swiftly hotfoots it before I have a chance to say goodbye.
Is he just fragile or freakily unhinged?
Do you see my conundrum here? While I am in the cab home I receive a text from Man#7 requesting a second date, not a MMS of my body parts this time. I guess that’s something to be happy about.
But I can’t decide whether to go. Am I attracted to him or fascinated by how odd he is? Should I go on a second date??? I’m not sure…
Rob says: Go for it Lou Lou! A second date may provide a more chilled opportunity to take another reading of this quirky character with your ‘weird-o-meter.’ Nice work on politely declining his offer to drive you home – I imagine his clumsy exit strategy would leave most girls somewhat flabbergasted. However, I think his text request for another date shows some guts and as you’re learning, the anxiety that comes with managing first date impressions can make a guy seem edgy, peculiar or downright loopy. I have my question marks about this guy, but like you I’m curious and wonder how much of his behaviour is driven by a desire to shock and surprise—which can be an effective bonding tactic between guys. Unfortunately men can mistakenly assume that what’s good for the gander is also great for the goose which can lead to some pretty bad habits when it comes to trying to impress the fairer sex.
And here’s the new Astrid, with cleavage…
| Page 1 of 3 | next >> |
10 Responses to this article
-
The Huntress August 3, 2012
Woohoo for the sexy new Astrid! Good on you for getting the confidence of having new pics done. I won’t bother telling my tale, but I know how scary it is.
Love the loopy Lou Lou man, hilarious. Good luck with the second date.
With a month until Mr. Foxxy arrives in Sydney, I think Eloise can have herself feeling as hot as hell again. A night out dancing in new shoes might do the trick
-
miss milu! August 3, 2012
Interesting stuff ladies! I say go with the emotional availsbility over someone aloof with crazy chemistry. Connections built over time build chemistry. Perhaps he’s suffering from a bit of the ‘please don’t be scaredof my aging body or performance’ too. Men do worry too. He’s obviously enthusiastic and thats a great start! That will be a great characteristic for when/if the sex kicks in.
My golden dating moment for the week was suckering up the guts to apologise to a very kind man i’d dated a while ago that i’d judged him too quick. Turns out he returned his heartfelt thanks for my honesty of why i’d broken it off and had changed his ways as a result and that he’d learnt a lot from me.
…Then finished off by saying i’d also taught him big boobs are great…
some things don’t change! Haha -
Ann Creber August 4, 2012
Please how do I open Astrid’s new photo??
Best ACC
-
Anon for this August 4, 2012
I still love love love this series of articles. I love catching up with the girls shenanigans (or lack there of), living vicariously but perhaps will be in a similar situation soon….im learning something each read! Thanks for putting yourselves out there girls.
-
Sere August 5, 2012
I too read the dating project articles and think about the situations they find themselves in, their experiences, their reactions and the consequences of them. It helps me when I find myself in certain situations.
Thanks to you all for sharing so that I can use it to wise up in situations I find myself in. -
dionne August 6, 2012
Why would anyone consider a man in his [presumably] 30s with the conversational tactics of Man 7 as ‘quirky’ or ‘odd’ rather than downright rude.
How much are women prepared to put up with in the hope of a relationship with someone they can actually respect? -
GRANT August 6, 2012
LOU,your diary blog highlights a few red flags as far as I can see ! 1/ Date NO 7 is not looking for a real relationship.. It’s obvious that his comment re- looking to hook up with an overseas date soon whilst travelling means he is only looking for a shag and nothing else.. Particularly , I feel it is in poor taste for him to have shared that with you. Does he think that you are like him for him to have divulged that to you and that you would feel impressed? ..2 -/He asked you for a text photo at midnight – Yeah it’s creepy. Also it’s obvious from his request that he is very shallow if after he has been conversing with you but then never showed up on your date, and then later contacting you to ask for a photo .I’m sorry LOU but you’ve been conned ! He was only going to show up to meet you after he could confirm thru the photo that you look like Angeline Jolie. or someone with a similar spectacular face and body. That’s why he cancelled-sorry rescheduled the first meeting. 3 /Always trust your gut feeling . Your gut is telling you that a lot of his comments are somewhat strange. You’re right. Run a mile ,find someone better who is seeking a genuine relationship not someone who only appears to be seeking one night stands. LOU, you are a very classy lady ! Your recent radio interview and your intelligently constructed and entertaining ongoing blog prove that. Don’t settle for jerks .They will hurt you eventually in some way. Keep looking. There are a few nice blokes still out there . I know there are ,because I’m one of them and I’m still searching for my perfect soulmate. You just have to turn over a lot of rough diamonds like me to eventually find the one. Good luck Lou, in the meantime, I’ll continue to enjoy your marvelous reviews of your weekly dating adventures. I really hope some of what I’ve crapped on about resonates with you and you are able to make some sense of it and use it for future references, but I’m not your keeper so you can ignore everything I’ve posted over the last few weeks if you want to; but I just hope that eventually you do meet a kindred soul that wants to share their life with you.for the right reasons . Cheers
