THE DATING PROJECT
It all started with Lou Lou’s chance meeting with Bettina Arndt, Australia’s best-known sex and relationship guru.
Lou Lou is 34 and single – ridiculously single. Here is a woman who is usually on top of things – she knows how to get ahead in her career, excell in group sports, walk in clogs, flirt her way out of DVD late fees… you get the drift.
So how is it that her love life is such a dismal failure? How is it that when she magically manages to go on a date, she ends up blowing it? And when did she decide that talking to everybody in the room except the guy she likes was a successful strategy in dating?
When Lou Lou met Bettina, it all came pouring out.
Many cups of coffee later, and a long pep talk from Bettina, Lou Lou decided to take action. She’s done with waiting – waiting for the right guy to appear, the wrong guy to realise he’s right, or the wrong guy who is now right to be right here!
There will be no more waiting for romance.
Lou Lou is about to change her life. Well, at least her love life… and we’re inviting The Hoopla readers along for the ride.
After years of her friends, mothers and experienced spinsters telling her to try internet dating, finally Lou Lou’s decided to bite the bullet, write her profiles, send those kisses, and start kissing frogs. And she’ll be bravely sharing all on the Hoopla, revealing the intimate and sometimes embarrassing details of her progress.
Now for the really exciting news – she’s seeking company.
We’re looking for two more women willing to get active in their search for love – and to tell us all about it.
We’d like two single women – one in her 40s, one 50s – maybe divorced, widowed or single mums, both with different experiences and ready to board The Hoopla Caravan of Love.
You will remain anonymous, even though we’d like you to share every fascinating detail with us.
If this sounds like you, write to us here info@thehoopla.com.au with “The Dating Project” in the subject line. Tell us your dating history and a bit about yourself.
(And we’d prefer novices – women who have never tried internet, speed dating or other activities designed to meet a man.)
You’ll be writing weekly blogs sharing your adventures.
But you’ll also have help – a two experienced coaches to help you lift your game.
| Page 1 of 2 | next >> |
24 Responses to this article
-
Keziah Hill May 10, 2012
You’re giving oxygen to Bettina Arndt? Why?
-
Alicia May 10, 2012
if this was facebook I’d press like
-
-
Kelly May 10, 2012
This should make a good read. Can I ask, are the experts single or in a relationship? I prefer to get my “expert” advice off those who are in happy relationships.
-
sam May 10, 2012
You lost me at the word bettina Arndt, sorry.
-
Marion May 10, 2012
Why would you choose one of Australia’s foremost misogynists to give relationship advice? What is Bettina going to advise I wonder….a perfect dinner on the table by 6 followed by a striptease for the poor sex-starved downtrodden man? Please spare us!
-
Andrew May 10, 2012
Bettina is great – very transparent and with finger on the pulse – get involved!
-
Tali May 10, 2012
Whats wrong with Bettina Arndt? How bloody closed minded are you guys.
Sam – ‘You lost me at the word bettina Arndt’ then why the hell are you commenting on her article? why be so hateful?She is fantastic at her job and writes amazing articles. -
literatechicken May 10, 2012
Lou Lou sounds exactly like me… I’ll be reading this with great interest! Good luck to her
-
Hildegardy May 10, 2012
Oh dear. Bettina Arndt, the Andrew Bolt of gender discourse, giving us advice on how to attract the kind of man who doesn’t like ‘his’ women to be too independent.
We’re all so mistaken about equality, fairness and love, we women. We should just reailse that those wonderful human beings with penises will rule the world and our bodies forever. May as well get to like it. NOT. -
Linda May 10, 2012
Oh my- after a decade of internet dating some sucees and some hysterical disasters I will be following with interest!
-
Laura May 10, 2012
There seems to be an interesting correlation between those who criticise Bettina Arndt and their inability to express intelligent, let alone articulate, arguments. The knee-jerk reaction against anything Bettina writes says so much more about her narrow minded critics than it does about her. Her critics could do with following much of her advice.
-
Larissa May 10, 2012
Bettina has a wealth of knowledge in this area and is a perfect candidate for helping these single women to ignite their flame. I think you’ll find that these women will be positively supported by Bettina and not the anti-feminist demon people are making her out to be.
-
Carrie Miller May 10, 2012
I continue to be surprised by the viciousness of the attacks on Bettina Arndt. Interestingly, it’s often by people who have come to her area – sex and relationships – only very recently, and without much more than an ability to shout loudly. Arndt has been researching and commentating on this area since the 70s, blazing the trail for those who now attack her on an ad hominem basis. I don’t necessarily agree with her position on a variety of things, but I think she certainly has earned the right to her speaking position – something the blowhard commentators who are blinded by a hatred of her refusal to toe the ideological line probably have a much lesser claim to.
To call her a misogynist is to ignore her substantial body of work and the contribution she’s made on the topic of sex, gender and relationships in Australian society, particularly in relation to ‘sex-positive’ feminism, and to read her recent work through the prism of a set of prejudices about anyone who doesn’t subscribe to a hegemonic view of feminism.
It’s not only philosophically lazy, it’s banal to attack people by calling them names. Engage with her work on its own terms if you are genuinely interested in critiquing it.
-
shelley May 10, 2012
Hoopla is part of the media and as such can swing broadly between points of view. Therefore despite publishing an article last year placing Bettina Arndt in a less than pretty light, it is appropriate that now they ask the woman on board to advise on a relationships quest. Evidently readers have strong feelings on Hoopla doing this. Personally Hoopla is able to do what they please but I do feel some kind of reasoning might be offered prior to the announcement. I don’t mean to sound self righteous, even if I do.
-
Kate May 10, 2012
I dont’ know who Bettina Arndt is, but when I read this I immediately though of my 2 single friends – one in her 30′s with 3 kids and one in her late 20′s with no kids who are both single. The 30+ year old is a very attractive girl, who tends to date bogans (its true she’s mostly bogan herself) who have some sort of mental issue (she likes to fix people) – she’s also not an intellectual. The 20+ year old has been on the market for more years than she cares to remember. She’s not a stunner so finds it difficult to even get guys to want to meet her and when they do they either date her for a little bit, stop returning her calls, or straight away start with the excuses. What I have learnt from their experience is that a ‘quality’ guy is a one in a million. I can totally understand why they throw their hands up periodically and say to hell with all men! And yet they keep trying – what other option is there? Keep hoping that the next one won’t be a loser like the last one.
They do have some very funny stories though!
-
Anne May 11, 2012
“The Dating Project” sounds great!
Don’t be put off by negative people. After reading “The Sex Diaries” I met and chatted with Bettina Arndt. She is totally delightful. Being coached by her will be awesome! -
Dawn May 13, 2012
My advice to Lou Lou is dating is like sport, your speed of recovery will be your success. Don’t let the first couple of frogs put you back on the bench, stay in the game!!
-
Peter June 6, 2012
I don’t quite know what to say here. I guess this is early days.
It makes me think of my daughter. late 20′s very intelligent, smart, fantastic figure, pretty face, very outgoing personality etc etc. When I show some of her photos to guys, their response is “smoking hot”.
For most of her adult life, her idea of a long term relationship has been about 2 weeks. Then kick him off, next please.
She regards Australian men as being sissy mommy’s boys, unable to stand on their own feet. Or to exert their personality in a relationship.. They are hopeless jerks. Bemoaning the fact that she can’t find a good man.
I reminded her that the smart women nailed down the good men years ago, married, babies. So she is looking in the pool of reruns and left overs. She doesn’t like this, but she knows that I am right.
I have no hesitation in saying that I am hopeless at looking after myself, and I nned a woman to look after me. On the basis that I will try to do my best to meet her needs, and she will do her best to meet my needs. Which includes sex. And I think that many guys have the same attitude.
I tell my beautiful daughter that I could never marry a woman like her. Wrong attitude.
-
Paul June 6, 2012
I recommend that anyone struggling to build meaningful relationships watch the film Groundhog Day. What this film highlights is thst the road to popularity and attractiveness is twofold.
You must ask what can I bring to another person, and if that list is lacking, you must set to work to make yourself a more interesting and giving person.
Frequently I encounter single women who have a list of what they are seeking in a partner. A much better approach is to make a list of what you can bring to a man and if that list is wanting consider how it can be improved.
Of course this theory applies to both men and women and all types of relationships.
Popular people are popular because they bring joy to other people. It is as simple as that. -
Sere June 21, 2012
Love your post Paul. Very insightful. Makes me think. Wonder if you would comment on the subject I brought up on ‘The Dating Project No, 6′. Would love a guy to give an opinion.
