THE DATING PROJECT #9. A FAREWELL
The Dating Project follows the adventures of three women Lou Lou (30s), Astrid (40s) and Iris (50s) as they navigate the tricky online dating scene. Today we farewell Iris and welcome Eloise. Along the way they have the support and advice of renowned sex therapist Bettina Arndt and relationship counsellor Rob Tiller.
It’s been a good week for Astrid who’s enjoying her first email exchange but pondering whether this means she should stop fishing and cut bait.
What’s the etiquette here? Is she being unfaithful if she keeps kissing?
Meanwhile, Lou Lou has been straying a little from internet dating, with a fascinating encounter with an actor in a bar. The trouble was she failed to pull her punches and the poor man seems to have wilted under her barrage of honest advice.
And sad news. We’ve lost Iris. As you might have guessed, she’s been finding the project heavy going and now she’s pulled the plug. She’s decided none of the men on offer meet her fancy and she’s had enough of internet dating. She plans to return to her real world and we wish her the best of luck.
Iris: “Last gasp.”
It’s been a very hectic week in the virtual kissing department. I’ve been kissed 19 times and have kissed 16 times. I don’t know if I’m being fussy, but I have not wanted to make further contact with any of the 19 kissees! I think, though, that I am entitled to be fussy, choosy and particular – why shouldn’t I be? I’m sure most people have better things to do than sit and watch their computer screens to see who is looking at their profiles, and then wondering if they are going to send a kiss.
Nothing real is happening unfortunately! I say unfortunately, but I’m not sure that I mean that. I have been on my own for many years now and wonder if I really do want or need someone to interrupt my peace. One of the responses I received after sending a kiss was: “I would be very open to a friendship.” What does that mean exactly? Do I send an email saying “Hello, friend”? I just don’t get all this.
I’m starting to feel pressured into just making contact with someone for the sake of making progress. So I’ve decided I would prefer to go on “playing it real” and see what happens. Maybe if it hasn’t happened yet, it wasn’t meant to be.
Rob says: Dear Iris, best wishes as you step out of The Dating Project and back into your normal life. It seems like the timing may not have been right for you, fair enough. It can be an overwhelming experience for someone settled in the single life suddenly receiving a deluge of positive attention from the opposite sex. It’s been fun having you in the team.
Moving on, we’ve decided to invite one of our many volunteers to take Iris’s place.
We’ve had so many wonderful letters from women eager to be part of the dating project. The choice wasn’t easy but we wanted someone in her fifties who, like the rest of the team, is just getting her first taste of internet dating.
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