THE DATING PROJECT #4. TOUGH LOVE
The Dating Project follows the adventures of three women Lou Lou ( 30s), Astrid (40s) and Iris ( 50s) as they navigate the tricky online dating scene. Along the way they have the support and advice of renowned sex therapist Bettina Arndt and relationship counsellor Rob Tiller.
Here we are, week four, and Lou Lou’s internet dating profile is almost up and ready. She’s been working on her final touches, choosing a photo, describing her sporting and reading habits, her ideal partner. It proved a challenging process:
Writing my intro was just the beginning. I am now knee deep in the nitty gritty – what photos to choose, what’s my body type, and what do I like to read??? This isn’t easy…
Now I’m discovering how difficult this brief really is… It’s all about finding a photo where you look completely, smoking hot, by accident! No posing, no hint of a set-up shot. It has to be just me in the moment oozing 100% gorgeousness. I’m also massaging some moments of indecision – Do I upload the photo of me looking sultry? Or do I stick to a little bit cheeky, a little bit cute? After a few sips of Pinot Gris… I go with sultry. (I’m not in this to win the Cute Competition, am I? I’m here to nab myself a boyfriend!!)
Damn right it’s tough! I left this for three days and the best I could come up with is: “Slightly awkward, but hopefully adorable.” I work in advertising, so I really don’t want to over-promise!
Athletic or average?
If I choose athletic will my dates be expecting me to swim the width of Bondi beach? But if I declare myself ‘average’ am I implying that I’m, well, average… like totally not worth the virtual kiss?
In the end, I go with athletic. I figure I wear lycra at least once at week…
The Children Question
Hang on a second… this question seems to come out of nowhere! And it is a mammoth question to ask by the way. Can’t it come with a warning bell first?
After my initial freak-out I understand why it’s there. I guess I am getting used to the ‘cut to the chase’ kind of pace of internet dating.
At a glance – my ideal partner
I owe it to the human race to choose a breeding partner and potential lover, who will be significantly taller than me. I don’t want to raise short children into this world. I once went out with a man my height and we looked like two extras that had escaped the Lord of the Rings set. It was totally unsexy. And we got asked for ID everywhere we went.
Reading + TV
I have become an expert fluffer of perceptions. My reading and movie/TV choices are expertly thought-through ensuring that I come across as retro-funk, cutting-edge cool. I am more hipster than a fixie bike! I just want to feel like the cool kid in the playground.
Bettina’s response: Hmm, it’s funny how we see ourselves. Rob and I took a look at Lou Lou’s photo and couldn’t believe that she thought she’d chosen the sultry one. Yes, her main photo was cute but it didn’t compare with the stunning, glowing shot where she peered seductively through her long fringe, showing just the right hint of cleavage. We’ve persuaded her to swap them around, remembering that it’s not about the photo she likes best but the one that will tick men’s boxes.
And now for our other two members of the team, Astrid and Iris…
First a little pep talk from Rob: Astrid and Iris, I want to acknowledge your zeal in re-entering the dating world and the juicy journey that lies ahead. I was reflecting on your stories as I walked along the beach last night.
I got a sense of two women who have dedicated the past decade or so to raising their kids as single mothers while possibly forgoing some of their own needs and desires in the process. And now, you’ve jumped on board The Dating Project and have taken the plunge into the weird and wonderful world of online dating… go girls!
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