• How is it that you,Tracey Spicer, can take a stand on violence against women. Yet your colleague, Ms Albericci, can sit quietly, and say nothing, while a man talks about the slitting of Prime Minister Julia Gillards throat? I really don't get it. - ian
  • Being drunk, and/or walking in dark or isolated places may make you more vulnerable - wearing "revealing" clothes *may* as well - but it does NOT make it your fault! Ever. Ever. This attitude disrespects everyone - including all the decent non-violent adult respectful men who are equally horrified but are grouped in that gender "male" and therefore judged to be violent and too under-evolved to control their base urges. Bullshit. No consent means its the rapists fault. Drunk and unconscious is no consent. Saying nothing out of fear while being gang banged by a football team is also not consent. - Wendy
  • Tony Windsor is Australia's only voice of reason, logic and good politics. I sat and watched him on Lateline, in awe, that this one man can explain all that has taken place throughout the last 3 years, so succinctly and with the conviction of knowing he is relating fact and truth. Tony Windsor summed up exactly how much has been achieved with a hung parliament and quite rightly noted that a hung parliament works well as it removes the ludicrous egos that are associate with a majority; hung parliaments also force all concerned ( naturally except the LNP) to consider the impacts of the legislation in ways never done before. Tony Windsor has been exemplary in considering all sides to an argument, noting impacts of policy and legislation on everyone, and being very inclusive - as he notes, so has Julia Gillard. This hung parliament has been the best thing that ever happened and I am actually looking forward to the same situation recurring, however with a couple of less LNP seats! Loved that Tony Windsor quite rightly also stated that neither Rudd nor Abbott could have achieved all that Julia Gillard has, nor as well and as inclusively, says so much of the nature of our great first female PM; something you will never read in the MSM!, and an example of great inclusive behaviour for Australians everywhere. Tony Windsor, if we still had them, you deserve a knighthood! What a fine upstanding man and such an example for future politicians, whatever their party. - NarelleM
  • To those who think being on the 'winning' team brings your electorate good things, think again. I live in National Party heartland...over 40 years rusted on Conservative voters...and over the years nothing has happened. Because they can dismiss this part of Aust as being National Party no one bothers to visit, or to give anything of worth to the area. We wanted a bypass of the main city and we got an 'upgraded road'. Don't believe that New England will be courted if Joyce gets in ...you who live in that lovely part of Aust ( used to live in Tamworth). You will quickly once again be forgotten especially by a leader like Abbott. He will cut to the bone all those areas that do not matter to his naked ambition. You will be once again in the back blocks of the Coalitions consciousness. You were lucky (Chris et al) to have Tony Windsor....no one is perfect, you don't have to like everything your rep does,but to have one who has integrity and is good at negotiations only you benefit. Wish we could get such a rep as Windsor or Oakshott coz it is damned near impossible for there ever to be a Labor rep here in selfish-land. - Annie Also
  • MicheleS: really? I got drunk at parties when I was 16. So did lots of other girls I knew. Ideal behaviour? No. But do we all deserve to be raped? Far out - I find that attitude so baffling I just don't have the words to articulate how disgraceful I find it (lucky Tracey has already nailed it). And as for the Jill Meagher case, the reason it resonated so much in this country is because she was in a situation so many of us have been in. She was not in a dark alley - she was walking down a very busy street where there were loads of other people. Thousands of people do that every day. The reason it was news is because what happened to her was rare and hideous. Should we all be cowering at home because of these unusual incidents? - Carolyn
  • Rape is a conscious decision made by the Rapist . The Rapist is to Blame . The Rapist is to Blame . The Rapist is to Blame . Now I'll just go outside to SCREAM my frustration at the mindless , thoughtless , stupidity . - Carole/m
  • Carole/m, I was so impressed with Phil Cleary's comments, especially when he said the misogyny that has been directed at the Prime Minister,( like reducing her body parts to pieces of meat) and many other woman, DOES have an effect on men, and as Bayley was not mentally ill the only conclusion left was - he hated women, and just wanted to humiliate and abuse them. He said there are so many men like Bayley in the community - and he would know because of the wonderful work he has been doing. I lived in Victoria at the time of his sister's murder, and it was shocking: outside a Kindergarten - it was unbelievable when the monster only got three years. I hope all those who have been sneering at Julia for playing the 'gender card' have an opportunity to hear his words and take note. - JoanneH
  • [...] girl who was raped by two football players at a party in Steubenville, Ohio, last year. A case I wrote about back in [...] - REPEAT AFTER ME: NOT HER FAULT
  • Siham and Sue bell, I saw men on death row as a young lawyer in W.A. I cannot support capital punishment. The authorities got it wrong sometimes, though most capital crimes eventually got commuted to life imprisonment by an executive order of the government of the day. Meanwhile, Kaz, I feel you are right about some men They just do not stop.. - ro.watson
  • People "get away with it" because it's their way of rationalising the situation. It is confronting to realise that you could be raped and murdered at any time, so thinking "it won't happen to me because I don't..." is a way of coping. Still wrong though. Nobody deserves to be raped and/or murdered no matter where they are or what they are doing. It's a shame that the perpetrators aren't shut away, instead of decent people shutting themselves at home in order to feel safe. Especially considering the prior convictions Bayley had - multiple rapist and still walking the street? - MWS
 
4
Categories:  Must see, The Dating Project

THE DATING PROJECT #22. FREE WHEELING

By Bettina Arndt
October 5, 2012

The end is near, good readers. We’ve decided to wind up our dating project in a few weeks’ time.

Lou Lou seems headed for retirement from the dating scene, as she explores the cosy world of coupledom with Man #10.

Astrid has disappeared from the Dating Project, still caught up in her major family dramas. That’s life for a single Mum and one reason why dating is so much harder for women in her age group. She puts her family first, as she must do, but this leaves so little time and energy for looking for a man.

Eloise is still with us but she’s lost a good friend this week and mourning also isn’t exactly conducive to the flirty world of internet dating. But she’ll be back – with bells on. Let’s hope the Dating Project ends up with bang for her too.

And Rob is down on the ranch, visiting his folks in Texas. He’d hoped to connect with us all this week but technology defeated him. But he’ll be offering his male wisdom again next week. 

So here’s Lou Lou getting into the deep and meaningful:

When you’re single it’s easy to feel like a grown up with training wheels on. You’re kind of halfway there, but not. For instance if you’re single, you could be, hypothetically speaking, co-habiting with a flat mate who leaves their sex toys in the kitchen and you have a stash of ‘emergency chocolate’ for those times you crawl in at 3am on a school night after eating no dinner. These two things, I believe would rarely occur if one was in a relationship.

I see moving into a proper relationship with a man as a big, big deal. It is the removal of my training wheels and my proud transition into being a grown up. However, it is not as easy as just buying a bike, or dating someone.

This week I did some growing up. And here are some very important lessons I learnt:

Lesson #1

I realized that the date with Man #11 was an unnecessary test of my feelings for Man #10. In my head, the equation went something like this: If I feel something for Man #11 than my feelings for Man #10 are null and void. I’ve discovered that love ain’t no equation nor tricky formula.

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4 Responses to this article

  1. sami October 5, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Yay! There are rarely fireworks- romance doesn’t have to be grand gestures or big moments. It’s the kind things and the quiet times and the gentle understanding.

    My boyfriend got out of bed and did a servo run for me once, because I wanted panadol and a paddlepop. That to me is romance :) kindness is so important. I don’t care if he doesn’t take me to fancy dinners or shouts our love from the rooftops. It makes me happy to know that he will do the little things for me, because they are what add up on a daily basis.

    Good luck Lou Lou, and enjoy :)

     
  2. miss milu! October 5, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Awesome stuff! Hope things work out for you other two girls, sounds like life is a bit hard right now. And Lou Lou, good luck!!! It could be not right, in which case you have more adventures ahead. And if it’s right, well you have the happy ever after you deserve.
    Every time ive had that earth shattering, knee buckling ‘love’ it came to nothing. Because what else goes with that drama? Instability and constant emotional breakdowns (his not mine). What is worth while? A love thats kind, caring, consistent and someone you know that after years will still be your friend. That is far more important than drama.
    I hope he’s your guy. After much similar too and fro, im willing to consider i may have met a friend for life myself. Only time will tell.
    Im glad you’re trying something different with him. After all how can dating the same types give different outcomes? It doesn’t. So give it a go girl! :-)
    Much happiness xx

    Rob i need your insights man, get back here already!! Haha

     
  3. The Huntress October 5, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Hoorah for LouLou! Here’s to you whipping off the training wheels and riding freely into the sunset…with Man #10 riding alongside you :)

     
  4. bibi October 8, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Live in the moment, in the present Lou Lou instead of over-analysing imagined outcomes. Perhaps you’ve overlooked the little intimate gestures and caring consideration of Man # 10 in your giddy deliberations of trying to forecast the future. Not all of us are overt or demonstrative all of the time and especially in a developing relationship. Men’s feelings get hurt too. Choose to be happy and make the most of this budding friendship and relationship. You’ll miss the fireworks if you are always looking for a 100% guarantee of finding the perfect partner.

     

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  • ian: How is it that you,Tracey Spicer, can take a stand on violence against women. Yet your colleague, Ms Albericci, can sit ...

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  • Wendy: Being drunk, and/or walking in dark or isolated places may make you more vulnerable - wearing "revealing" clothes *may* ...

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  • NarelleM: Tony Windsor is Australia's only voice of reason, logic and good politics. I sat and watched him on Lateline, in awe, ...

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