THE DATING PROJECT #21. LIBERTY
Is it time for Lou Lou to stop fishing and cut bait?
The Dating Project follows the adventures of three women Lou Lou ( 30s), Astrid (40s) and Eloise (50s) as they navigate the tricky online dating scene. Along the way they have the support and advice of renowned sex therapist Bettina Arndt and relationship counsellor Rob Tiller. *To see the last installment – #12. Smooth Sailing, go here.
She’s just back from her New York holiday, pondering in true Carrie Bradshaw style about whether her growing interest in Man #10 rules out making the most of modern women’s freedom to play the field. We’d love your views on the subject.
But first, she sets the scene:
I’ve just come back from a glorious holiday in New York. It’s a city that’s determined to never grow up, to stay out late, and to make the most out of being giddily free to do whatever, whenever.
In case I needed a reminder, I had the Statue of Liberty with her feminine curves and poise looking my way.
She says to all – Freedom is right here in the Big Apple.
I’d find myself walking by every classy café, cocktail lounge or shiny shoe store and having a Sex in the City flashback. I know it hasn’t exactly aged well with time. But it was an epic gesture of encouragement for every woman, not just in New York City, but around the world, to own their sexiness and their libido: Yes, we get off on more than just glory boxes and husband material, thank you!
So, in the spirit of this great city I found myself seductively embracing the power of my newfound freedom. I have the right to choose. I can choose to take a man home.
I can choose to sleep naked in my bed on my own. I can choose to date multiple men. I can choose to go down on a man without wanting him to go down on one knee and propose.
I have the freedom to choose.
Embracing the power of her own freedom… In New York City.
But am I letting all this freedom get to my head? Am I discovering the fine line between ‘free spirit’ and selfish bitch? And if I am being really honest… is acting freely just a polite way to say being slutty.
Man #10 has barely left the country for a 3-week ‘Best Man Tour of Duty’ in the UK and I am already reaching for my phone to text another man about a date.
Technically you could say this is perfectly normal behavior. The terms of my engagement with Man #10 are not exclusive and we are yet to lay a claim of boyfriend/girlfriend.
However, I do know he really, really, really likes me. And in turn, he is really starting to grow on me – so much so that I am seriously considering the merits of an exclusive arrangement.
So why would I then orchestrate a date with another man? This is like a woman saying she’d love a pair of Jimmy Choos only to pass them up for an orthopedic number with a rubber sole and a chunky heel?
It makes no sense.
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