THE DATING PROJECT #21. LIBERTY
Is it time for Lou Lou to stop fishing and cut bait?
The Dating Project follows the adventures of three women Lou Lou ( 30s), Astrid (40s) and Eloise (50s) as they navigate the tricky online dating scene. Along the way they have the support and advice of renowned sex therapist Bettina Arndt and relationship counsellor Rob Tiller. *To see the last installment – #12. Smooth Sailing, go here.
She’s just back from her New York holiday, pondering in true Carrie Bradshaw style about whether her growing interest in Man #10 rules out making the most of modern women’s freedom to play the field. We’d love your views on the subject.
But first, she sets the scene:
I’ve just come back from a glorious holiday in New York. It’s a city that’s determined to never grow up, to stay out late, and to make the most out of being giddily free to do whatever, whenever.
In case I needed a reminder, I had the Statue of Liberty with her feminine curves and poise looking my way.
She says to all – Freedom is right here in the Big Apple.
I’d find myself walking by every classy café, cocktail lounge or shiny shoe store and having a Sex in the City flashback. I know it hasn’t exactly aged well with time. But it was an epic gesture of encouragement for every woman, not just in New York City, but around the world, to own their sexiness and their libido: Yes, we get off on more than just glory boxes and husband material, thank you!
So, in the spirit of this great city I found myself seductively embracing the power of my newfound freedom. I have the right to choose. I can choose to take a man home.
I can choose to sleep naked in my bed on my own. I can choose to date multiple men. I can choose to go down on a man without wanting him to go down on one knee and propose.
I have the freedom to choose.
Embracing the power of her own freedom… In New York City.
But am I letting all this freedom get to my head? Am I discovering the fine line between ‘free spirit’ and selfish bitch? And if I am being really honest… is acting freely just a polite way to say being slutty.
Man #10 has barely left the country for a 3-week ‘Best Man Tour of Duty’ in the UK and I am already reaching for my phone to text another man about a date.
Technically you could say this is perfectly normal behavior. The terms of my engagement with Man #10 are not exclusive and we are yet to lay a claim of boyfriend/girlfriend.
However, I do know he really, really, really likes me. And in turn, he is really starting to grow on me – so much so that I am seriously considering the merits of an exclusive arrangement.
So why would I then orchestrate a date with another man? This is like a woman saying she’d love a pair of Jimmy Choos only to pass them up for an orthopedic number with a rubber sole and a chunky heel?
It makes no sense.
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10 Responses to this article
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The Huntress September 28, 2012
It seems Man #10 really likes Lou Lou and while I understand that drive to be certain, I wonder how long Man #10 is willing to wait patiently for that certainty? Internet dating and single men are not going anywhere, why not have a crack at Man #10 and if it doesn’t work out you now know where to go?
Whatever happens, good luck Lou Lou!
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sami September 28, 2012
Don’t do it! The fact that you’re questioning it and justifying it so hard must be telling you something.
Sometimes ‘just because I can’ is not a good reason to do something. -
sami September 28, 2012
Don’t do it! The fact that you’re questioning it and justifying it so hard must be telling you something.
Sometimes ‘just because I can’ is not a good reason to do something. -
Dionne September 28, 2012
And if Man#10 was to do the same as you are considering, you would feel….. What??
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Sere September 30, 2012
From what you have told us Lou Lou, Man#10 sounds like a
guy many women reading this site would go on a date with and like to get to know. That would mean he could just as easily play the field. Maybe he is since you are not committed to each other.Just testing you Lou Lou.
If my first comment, or the thought of Man#10 going out with someone else doesn’t stir you up immensely Lou Lou, then maybe you are not interested in him as a serious relationship. Maybe something is missing.
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Ro. Watson October 1, 2012
“Freedom”~ is such a tricky concept~ “freedom to” or “freedom from” for starters~ the best kind of a sense of free is being able to be yourself and happily able to self-soothe and maintain your own integrity and loving and secure nature~ with and/or without other company…or other words…or in or out of a relationship(maybe!!)
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Sere October 2, 2012
To Ro,Watson,
I LOVE that definition of FREEDOM!
That sure is TRUE FREEDOM! -
Tania October 2, 2012
I’ve missed the last 10 or so instalments… I was so inspired I signed myself up on RSVP and have been otherwise busy reading profiles and fielding kisses! I had a catch up on the Dating project tonight and it was timely. I’m feeling a bit despondent at the moment at the whole thing (much like Eloise in #20)… I’m a 40 year old single mum to 3 youngish children and a mostly absent father, so limited opportunities to meet prospective dates and most men seem turned off when I tell them about my children, but maybe that’s just Perth men!! I also realised I need to organise some better photo’s …the last photo I could find of myself was from Mother’s Day from 2010!!
So, thanks for putting yourself out there so publicly to inspire the rest of us singles… I look forward to more instalments and more success stories!
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Lou Lou October 5, 2012
Please don’t give up Tania!
It is so wonderful to hear comments like yours. In fact, you are a good example of why we wanted to do the The Dating Project in the first place – to inspire other women to do something a little scary, but hopefully hugely rewarding in the long run.
