THE DATING PROJECT #2. PICK ME!
Wow, did we get a reaction to our request for volunteers for The Dating Project.
“Pick me, no wait don’t pick me, no yes, PICK ME”.
This fervent, but somewhat confused plea from a 45-year-old single mother was one of a great many letters we received this week from readers of The Hoopla.
My colleague Rob Tiller and I are looking for two women – one in her 40s and another in her 50s – who are wanting to get serious about seeking a mate and willing to write regular blogs about their dating adventures.
We already have Lou Lou (34) on board but we are looking for company for her as she plucks up courage to get serious about finding a man.
Clearly many of you loved the whole idea and volunteers came pouring in.
We’re presently working on a short list and by next week you’ll be reading all about Lou Lou’s travelling companions. (That’s not her real name, by the way. We figured that if we wanted the women to reveal all, they need to stay anonymous.)
We’re actually seeking women who are novices in the dating game – who’ve never tried internet dating or any other serious attempt to look for a partner. Yet some of the funniest emails we received were from women already somewhat battered and bruised by their dating adventures. They were dead keen to share their experiences – and we might well ask them for tips once our women dip their toes into the shark- infested waters of internet dating.
Listen to this 43-year-old social worker who started out sure that all she had to do was jump on board the dating train and some lovely fella would land right in front of her: “Soon we’d be spending Saturday breakfasts together swapping pages of the SMH, enjoy trysts in the Hunter on the alternate weekends and I’d finally be able to break free of my cynical mutterings about greedy card companies and exploitative florists and quietly bask in the fragrant waft of an elegant bunch of long-stemmed red roses sitting beautifully on my desk.”
You may not be surprised to discover that none of this has happened.
The reality has been rather grim: “I’ve swung from rashly declaring a ban on all dating to quietly firing up an internet dating account and hoping for the best. I’ve fallen in serious like with someone who told me after we’d been seeing each other for a few weeks that in fact he didn’t want to date someone with children after all (but would be happy to come over for a booty call once a week) and I’ve listened hopelessly whilst the man across from me lamented the end of his 20-year marriage and still referred to his ex-wife’s house as ‘home’. I’ve waxed, polished, tanned, manicured, pedicured and had multiple re-sculptings of my lady garden. I’ve smiled politely, I’ve laughed heartily, I’ve slunk off home and sobbed quietly on the couch. And there has been wine… oh yes, there has been wine! Alas, there hasn’t been a bloke who I can call my own.”
It was really inspiring, reading all the stories from these adventurous women who are putting themselves out there – like this 40s single mum, who’s been experimenting with internet dating for the last 10 years and did strike it lucky with one reasonably long-term relationship which ended recently.
“I suppose I keep coming back to it because it’s one of the only ways to meet 40+ men these days. I wouldn’t meet a potential partner in a pub anymore. I am not of these women that say they want a boyfriend and do nothing about it. You need to be in it to win it! I have been on heaps of dates, I was keeping track at one stage and I think I am up to No. 86!”
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