• Why is it that whenever there is a natural disaster in the USA our media is full of it for days? But if something happens elsewhere in the world, it's hardly mentioned, if at all. The Victorian bush fires and the Queensland floods were mentioned one day in the US media and forgotten the next - but we get a barrage every time there is a storm over there and it lasts for weeks with all sorts of stories about answered prayers and heroism - which never seems to happen anywhere else in the world. Have you ever also noticed that if there is a blizzard or a heat wave, it always stops at the Canadian border? None of these things ever happen in Canada. This constant Americanisation really gets up my nose. I have met adult Australians who didn't really understand that we are not part of the USA. I fully understand why the French are so ... French - and want to stay that way and not become a cultural colony of America as we have become. - Jack Richards
  • says so much about the human animal bond - life's experiences teach you who is loyal and truly loving and they are the ones you're most likely to reach for when you're at your lowest - melissa
  • Gee Jack, you've sure stirred up all pumpkin-scone bakers from Akerman's blog. They must be desperate for attention to chase you all the way to here. I think many of those extreme-right women secretly have the hots for you - and that's why they go out of their way to find you. By the way, I read your comments on Rudd's blog about SSM. I couldn't agree more! - Yasmina
  • Congratulations PJ and team!! A beautiful garden. Connecting to nature is what it's all about. - Fairy The Green One
  • Yes, and you are about as far from being a "rocket surgeon" as anyone who has ever graced this site. - Wendy Harmer
  • Relax Harry, I normally leave my contributions to online debate to a single entry or two but the response to my very brief comment led me into this discussion. You're right to say I had some connection with the writing, hence my joining in. But the connection was based on my not liking it. That's fair enough, people write pieces for sites like this in the full knowledge that they will be critiqued and that not everyone will like what they have said. If authors don't like it, they shouldn't put their writing out there. You may have noticed that I was not alone in criticising the article and so far no one has actually rebutted any of the points I have made - just complained about the way I have made them. If you disagree with the substance then go ahead and say where. I remember well being 16, but I'm not sure that it has much to do with what I wrote. Whatever poor behaviour I exhibited then - and there surely was some - my mum didn't write open letters about it to the paper or whatever media were available then. You've engaged me online without actually suggesting where I was wrong, but have you had a word with your mum re. what she publicly implied about the behaviour exhibited by you and your siblings? I gotta admit being part of this thread has been pretty enjoyable but it's probably for the best that I normally wouldn't have time to follow something like this over a couple of days - one could get sucked int pretty easily I guess. - Sly Place
  • The freckled duck is not rare. Its listed as 'Least concern' on the UICN red list. Just because CADS say its rare, doesnt mean they are telling the truth. Of course CADS had armed protestors willing to attend shooting locations. Laurie Levy openly admits that his supporters were prepared to break the law to achieve their goal. So heres an alternative hypothesis. CADS descended on the (officially) unattended, unmonitored Box Flats, and chose to make martyrs of several hundred birds to further their cause. It doesnt take a rocket surgeon to understand that that is just as plausible a situation as a rogue hunter. - leigh
  • so lovely, I am glad she got him back safely! aww :) - sami
  • So in 2015 a ranking of 70 and above will be mandatory for entry to University in NSW. So even if school standards are lifted for all by a massive increase in funding only the top 30% of year 12 graduates will be eligible for a University qualification? Or to put it another way approx 70% of year 12 graduates will not qualify to be considered for a university education. Now that's exclusive. I understand why University funding has been cut. Why focus so heavily on increasing the funding at school level only? - Michelle
  • Not Caz either. I believe she's sworn off the mummy blogs. She's been keeping to herself a bit lately, more's the pity. Maybe she can't stomach anymore of you're bile? - Grow up jack
 
9
Categories:  Must see, The Dating Project

THE DATING PROJECT #19. EMOTIONAL I.Q.

By Bettina Arndt
September 14, 2012

Has Lou Lou finally let her guard down? When Man #10 responds to her break-up call like a rational human being, she learns the value of emotional intelligence…

 

The Dating Project follows the adventures of three women Lou Lou ( 30s), Astrid (40s) and Eloise (50s) as they navigate the tricky online dating scene. Along the way they have the support and advice of renowned sex therapist Bettina Arndt and relationship counsellor Rob Tiller.
 
*To see the latest installment – #18 Dear John – go here. 

 

Is Lou Lou ready to let love in? Image via RebeccaVC1 on Flickr.
 

It’s time to ease off a little. The Dating Project is no longer always bringing you weekly blogs from the team – just the big events. There’s not much happening for Eloise this week – she has her head down earning a crust. And Astrid is still distracted by her family issues.

But Lou Lou? That’s a different story. I’m sure you will all be catching your breath over Lou Lou’s latest romantic twists and turns. It’s funny how we all get caught up in the excitement of a budding romance – who hasn’t misted up at a wedding?

We are all so good at wishing and hoping, even when we know how much hard work relationships really are. But that’s perhaps just as it should be. Hope springs…

By the way, if you haven’t seen Meryl Streep’s new movie of the same name, it’s really worth seeing. It’s such a sensitive look at the desperate loneliness of an estranged marriage and the painful process of reconnecting. Quite inspiring, with plenty of laughs to keep everyone entertained.

 

So here’s Lou Lou and her mensch…

Have you ever wanted something so bad you’ve dreamt of it, visualised it, gone on and on about it… only to find when you’re on the brink of it finally coming true, you begin to wonder if that’s what you ever really wanted in the first place?

Well, I kind of feel like that. Ever since I watched Pride and Prejudice on a Sunday afternoon while trying to do my Year 12 homework on sedimentary rocks, I’ve always wanted to be in an everlasting relationship with a man that would do anything for me – including wearing a pond-soaked white shirt a la Mr Darcy.

And look here I am now – experiencing what seems to be a whiff of a potentially healthy relationship with a man. (Ummm… hello! This Internet dating thing might work after all!)

But oh no!! What do we have here?? My big, heavy, lumpy, over-thinking brain, that’s what!

It decides this is all just too happy. It would rather dampen the party with its negative vibes. Oh yeah, it’s time to kill the disco ball and turn the house lights on so I can, under the harsh glow of fluorescent lights, inspect any existing or potential signs of flaws, grievances or emotional baggage Man #10 may or may not possess.

And that’s when my big brain decides: It’s time to break up with him.

After a three-day rehearsal period of a carefully considered, yet totally off the cuff speech, I make the call. Yes, I call Man #10 to do the breaking.

I’m successfully through two-thirds of the speech when he politely interjects…

Man #10: I had a hunch this might happen.

Me: (Slightly flabbergasted) Oh. Oh. Oh. Really?

Man #10: Yes. Well, you’re 34 and you haven’t been in a serious relationship for quite a while. Plus you seem really intent on telling me that other people think you’re a free spirit. And well… I think you’re pretty good at pushing people away.

Me: Umm… Well just so you know, I disagree on the first two points. But you may have a point on the last one.

Man #10: (Laughs) I’m not saying it to be mean… (Pause) Also, Lou Lou, you can’t break up with me because there is nothing to break up. You were pretty adamant that we weren’t in a relationship just yet.

Me: Okay you’ve got me on a technicality there. But I don’t want to hurt your feelings. I’m just not sure I’m feeling it as much as you are… But I am feeling something.

Man #10: Trust me, if it doesn’t work out I won’t be curled up on the floor crying. I’m a grown man.

Me: Brilliant. So do you want to hang out on Friday?

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9 Responses to this article

  1. Margaret September 14, 2012 Reply
     
     

    How thrilling Lou Lou! Sound like a real, live adult relationship. Well done to you both. Man # 10 seems like a keeper to me.
    My Husband and I met and married in our late 30′s – both too fussy and busy. We have many a good debate. Nothing liken speaking your mind.
    Congratulations on making the call too. Look forwar5d nto hearting how things progress.
    Funny, for me, yes my brain sounds like yours.
    I actually thought my then boyfriend was going to break up with me….he proposed instead. 16 years later and 2 children, I still smile about that one!
    All the best with the relationship.

     
  2. Anne September 14, 2012 Reply
     
     

    FANTASTIC! What a wonderfully inspiring experience, Lou Lou! I am so excited for you.

     
  3. sami September 14, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Lou Lou the man sounds normal and wonderful! Yay! Good on him for being a proper grown up, I love when that happens. Honesty + likes you = winner winner chicken dinner.

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and we’ve just bought a house. I love him more than anything ever and know he is the one for me, but every now and then my brain goes ‘what the hell are you doing?!’ and that’s okay. It just means you won’t fall into the trap of being in the relationship ‘just because’. It means you want to be there. Despite the weird brain goings-on.

    PS I LOVE the Hoff- he is in Australia very soon, maybe it could be a potential date for you guys? ;) ooh romantic. Haha

     
  4. The Huntress September 14, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Yeeha! Go Lou Lou! What a man, he really sounds like a keeper :) Keep it up, foxy lady, you’re making real progress now!

     
  5. Lou Lou September 14, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Thank you lovely ladies. Man #10 is definitely growing on me and I promise to really try and let him in.

     
  6. bibi September 17, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Lou Lou this guy sounds like a mature thinking, really grounded perceptive and non-needy person. Where has he been hiding! He can match it with you and he doesn’t sound like he needs the Florence Nightingale in you to fix him. Isn’t it scary that you might just have to open up and be yourself and enjoy the experience rather than transfroming him into a cause. He is attracted to your flame but not like a moth! Have an adventure tigress, prowl in the jungle and get to know this tiger more!

     
  7. Tania October 2, 2012 Reply
     
     

    Well done Lou Lou. I laughed out loud at the outcome of your phone call. Man #10 sounds like a real grown up… I’m so jealous…sigh…

     

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  • Jack Richards: Why is it that whenever there is a natural disaster in the USA our media is full of it for days? But if something happen...

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  • melissa: says so much about the human animal bond - life's experiences teach you who is loyal and truly loving and they are the o...

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  • Yasmina: Gee Jack, you've sure stirred up all pumpkin-scone bakers from Akerman's blog. They must be desperate for attention to c...

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  • Fairy The Green One: Congratulations PJ and team!! A beautiful garden. Connecting to nature is what it's all about.

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