THE DATING PROJECT #19. EMOTIONAL I.Q.
Has Lou Lou finally let her guard down? When Man #10 responds to her break-up call like a rational human being, she learns the value of emotional intelligence…
The Dating Project follows the adventures of three women Lou Lou ( 30s), Astrid (40s) and Eloise (50s) as they navigate the tricky online dating scene. Along the way they have the support and advice of renowned sex therapist Bettina Arndt and relationship counsellor Rob Tiller. *To see the latest installment – #18 Dear John – go here.
Is Lou Lou ready to let love in? Image via RebeccaVC1 on Flickr.
It’s time to ease off a little. The Dating Project is no longer always bringing you weekly blogs from the team – just the big events. There’s not much happening for Eloise this week – she has her head down earning a crust. And Astrid is still distracted by her family issues.
But Lou Lou? That’s a different story. I’m sure you will all be catching your breath over Lou Lou’s latest romantic twists and turns. It’s funny how we all get caught up in the excitement of a budding romance – who hasn’t misted up at a wedding?
We are all so good at wishing and hoping, even when we know how much hard work relationships really are. But that’s perhaps just as it should be. Hope springs…
By the way, if you haven’t seen Meryl Streep’s new movie of the same name, it’s really worth seeing. It’s such a sensitive look at the desperate loneliness of an estranged marriage and the painful process of reconnecting. Quite inspiring, with plenty of laughs to keep everyone entertained.
So here’s Lou Lou and her mensch…
Have you ever wanted something so bad you’ve dreamt of it, visualised it, gone on and on about it… only to find when you’re on the brink of it finally coming true, you begin to wonder if that’s what you ever really wanted in the first place?
Well, I kind of feel like that. Ever since I watched Pride and Prejudice on a Sunday afternoon while trying to do my Year 12 homework on sedimentary rocks, I’ve always wanted to be in an everlasting relationship with a man that would do anything for me – including wearing a pond-soaked white shirt a la Mr Darcy.
And look here I am now – experiencing what seems to be a whiff of a potentially healthy relationship with a man. (Ummm… hello! This Internet dating thing might work after all!)
But oh no!! What do we have here?? My big, heavy, lumpy, over-thinking brain, that’s what!
It decides this is all just too happy. It would rather dampen the party with its negative vibes. Oh yeah, it’s time to kill the disco ball and turn the house lights on so I can, under the harsh glow of fluorescent lights, inspect any existing or potential signs of flaws, grievances or emotional baggage Man #10 may or may not possess.
And that’s when my big brain decides: It’s time to break up with him.
After a three-day rehearsal period of a carefully considered, yet totally off the cuff speech, I make the call. Yes, I call Man #10 to do the breaking.
I’m successfully through two-thirds of the speech when he politely interjects…
Man #10: I had a hunch this might happen.
Me: (Slightly flabbergasted) Oh. Oh. Oh. Really?
Man #10: Yes. Well, you’re 34 and you haven’t been in a serious relationship for quite a while. Plus you seem really intent on telling me that other people think you’re a free spirit. And well… I think you’re pretty good at pushing people away.
Me: Umm… Well just so you know, I disagree on the first two points. But you may have a point on the last one.
Man #10: (Laughs) I’m not saying it to be mean… (Pause) Also, Lou Lou, you can’t break up with me because there is nothing to break up. You were pretty adamant that we weren’t in a relationship just yet.
Me: Okay you’ve got me on a technicality there. But I don’t want to hurt your feelings. I’m just not sure I’m feeling it as much as you are… But I am feeling something.
Man #10: Trust me, if it doesn’t work out I won’t be curled up on the floor crying. I’m a grown man.
Me: Brilliant. So do you want to hang out on Friday?
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