MY TOP 10 AUSSIE POLITICAL CACKS!
Bloody hell, Australia, lighten up!
We used to have a sense of humour. We used to applaud a Prime Minister who held the Guinness Book of World Records for knocking back a yard glass of beer. We used to think it was funny that Kevin Rudd went to a strip club. We used to be a nation of larrikins and drongos and Paul Hogan wannabes.
Now we’re more uptight than Bob Katter in a gay bar.
Craig Emerson sings out of tune and all of sudden we’re donning our hair shirts and tut-tutting that our nation’s affairs are not to be laughed at.
What? You want us to take politics seriously?
So, here’s a warning: if you completely lack a sense of humour and think the dad in the movie Footloose was making a good point when he banned dancing, then don’t read on.
If, on the other hand, you haven’t yet forgotten that this country was built on the smart-arse’s back, wrap your eyeballs around this:
CORINNE GRANT’S TOP 10 FUNNIEST AUSTRALIAN POLITICAL MOMENTS
10. John Howard watching soccer in his tracksuit
Nowadays our politicians save their workout gear for when they’re working out, but there was once a sweeter, gentler time. A time when our politicians thought, “Bugger it, I want to invite the media around to film me watching the Socceroos and I see no reason to dress like an adult for the occasion. This rather effeminate tracksuit that’s a little too tight for me will do just nicely, thank you.”
What endears me most about this photo is that Johnnie looks exactly like my two-year-old nephew when he’s getting ready for the bath. Arms up, jumper off, it’s bubbles time, little fella!
9. Bob Katter singing
I don’t know why Craig Emerson is Public Enemy Number One all of a sudden, Bob Katter has been murdering our ears for eons. My favourite performance comes from this strategy session for his Australian Party candidates. Not content with simply belting it out, the Bobster throws in a little sotto voce towards the end, just to keep us on our toes. The judges on The Voice would be proud.
8. Rob Oakeshott sitting on a giant dunny
Look, we’ve all been asked to do something for a worthwhile cause, but that doesn’t mean you forego asking the crucial question, “Are you sure it won’t make me look silly?” Because it did Rob, it really, really did.
7. John Howard bowling
I will admit this list is a little John Howard heavy, but hey, I can only work with the material at hand and Johnno gives good material.
No matter how many times he was asked, no matter how many times he stuffed it up, no matter how many times he looked like the world’s biggest unco on the telly, he always said “Yes! Give me the ball! This time I’m going to get it to the other end of the pitch!”
That, my friends, is a true Aussie Battler.
6. Senator Stephen Fielding wearing a beer bottle costume
For those days when you just can’t find anything to wear to parliament, why not come dressed as a giant bottle of booze?
I get the feeling Stephen Fielding’s mother never let him go to costume parties. From the grin on his face, I’m guessing this moment is fulfilling a childhood dream.
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19 Responses to this article
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speccygirl July 5, 2012
laughed out loud at your paragraph about John Howard watching the socceroos! I think Wil Anderson said “look! It’s Kermit the Frog come to life!”
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The Huntress July 5, 2012
Haha, I used to have a poster of Boris Yeltsin doing the twist on my bedroom wall as a teenager. Yes, I was an unusual teen…
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The Huntress July 5, 2012
Oh and not to forget Yeltsin and Clinton giggling together like little girls while they were supposed to be making a speech. That was hilarious!
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Kirsten Garrett July 5, 2012
I think you could add Tony Abbots backside in the air as he jumped on a trampoline recently. In fact, lots of his stunts are cacky.
And then there’s Julie Bishops Death Stare. -
liza July 5, 2012
I think that they need NEW RULES . Only politicians with ability to sing in tune are allowed to make points. Send in Peter Garrett and make him minister for tuneful singing.
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Katie July 5, 2012
Keep ‘em coming! What with global warming, the GFC, the decline of the West, the IT revolution and Alan Jones we need as many laughs as we can get.
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Bev July 5, 2012
Wonderful, Corinne. We do need a laugh more often. There is so much material so how about making it a regular feature, please
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Loz July 5, 2012
Great selection Corinne. Gave me the giggles. However I was expecting to see Peter Costello dancing the macarena in the top 10.
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Sharon Ellam July 5, 2012
Onja Corinne! Have to share this.
Australian’s stopped being smart arses, larrikans or just plain relaxed enough to ‘ava go’ when shows on TV such as The Comedy Company & Fast Forward finished. Their beauty was in the simplicity of re-creating the simple Aussie humour & modelling it for us to share. A bit like the Bundy Bear! Instead we have ‘reality’ & super-star wannabes giving us all a dose of anger & frustration.
Well this chick is angry & frustrated about stuffed shirts stuffing up a good laugh! We need more cynicism & simplicity. Pollies being real always used to endear them to us. What happened??? My theory is MEDIA happened!! We get steered off course far too much. Glad you righted the wheel for a short time Corinne. Thanks mate!
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Julia July 5, 2012
Corinne – you are hilarious! Please stay, we need you.
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Loz July 5, 2012
Oh imagine if we’d had Youtube in the age of Sir Joh Bjelke and Lady Flo.
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SandsOfTime July 5, 2012
I love to start my day (in a time zone far away) with tears of laughter. Thanks Corinne!
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Ro. Watson July 5, 2012
Classics!!
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janet July 5, 2012
Love your work. Too much doom and gloom so bring on the fun side of life! Keep up rhe good work!
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Nicki July 6, 2012
Great work – very funny – loved Joan Kirner and if looks could kill Angela Merkel would be a great assassin! Sylvio is unbelievable in all aspects!
