CORINNE GRANT’S RAGE INDEX
With so much going on it’s hard to stay abreast of all the issues and even harder to know what to be angry about.
It’s all well and good to glue down the caps-lock button on your keyboard and lose your lolly on Facebook and Twitter, but you need to learn how to ration out your fury. What happens if you get to Friday and you’re spent? Who is going to carry the fury through the weekend if you can’t?
Thankfully, I’ve done the hard work, frothed at the mouth and scoured the talkback radio stations for you.
Here is this week’s rage index:
Grant Hackett.
It’s actually tricky to get angry about this one, considering anger is what we’re all so angry about. Grant chucked a piano around, smashed up his house, freaked out his wife, went on Channel Nine, shed a couple of tears and said he was embarrassed. 60 Minutes tore him a new one in a hard-hitting interview that really questioned what a father of two with a wife half his size was doing smashing up the family house like the Incredible Hulk on biker speed. No-one at any point insinuated that his estranged wife may have brought this all on herself by being difficult and refusing to talk to Channel Nine (Grant’s employer) on national television about how Grant Hackett (their employee) was Australia’s golden boy and just a bit of a goose. Thank god she hasn’t been able to completely destroy Our Great Nation and stop him having his cushy job as a commentator for the Olympic Games.
Outrage level: Mild. Hackett has clearly done everything he can to keep his job with Channel Nine and he should be applauded for his brave work. We should all severely reprimand Candice Alley for upsetting him.
Hipsters are living in goat’s cheese.
According to Bernard Salt (everyone’s favourite numbers fondler), there is a goat’s cheese curtain surrounding Australia’s inner suburbs and hipsters are living behind it. Not only is that downright unhygienic, but it begs the question, where did they get so much goat’s cheese?
Outrage level: Pretty bloody high if you don’t like dairy-based metaphors.
The carbon tax.
Coles is refusing to put up its prices once the carbon tax comes in, claiming that the increases are so small, it’s not worth passing them on. This is outrageous. How is the world going to end if big business doesn’t force it to happen?
Outrage level: Extreme. Write to your local member and demand that everything be doubled in price.
Gina Rinehart.
Gina Rinehart is going to take over Australia’s favourite newspapers and replace all the content with Magic Eye puzzles that, once you see the image correctly, instantly brainwash you into wanting to dig stuff out of the ground.
Outrage level: Ssssh. Don’t let Gina see you. If she looks you in the eye, you instantly turn to iron ore.
Stop the Snacks!
As reported by The Daily Telegraph, the Government is trying to starve school children. Not just starve them, but dehydrate them as well. Ladies and gentlemen, send your children to Parliament House at your own risk. In will walk your adorable eight-year-old and out will come a pot-bellied piece of beef jerky, half dead from chronic malnutrition and a lack of cordial.
Outrage level: Fairly low as the story was complete bullshit. It was a suggestion the Government chose not to adopt. If you’re bored, write to your local member, but if I were you, I’d save my outrage for something more important, like…
| Page 1 of 2 | next >> |
16 Responses to this article
-
Pete June 28, 2012
awesome!
-
The Huntress June 28, 2012
Corrine, you’ve done it again! Not many people out there would have the talent to turn all the anger this week into a genuinely amusing article, without diminishing the actual seriousness of some of these issues. You’re fantastic, well done!
-
Rachel June 28, 2012
This is why I love Corinne Grant!
-
Rachel June 28, 2012
This is why I love Corinne Grant!
-
Leesa June 28, 2012
brilliant
-
Rosie June 28, 2012
Bloody marvellous! Thank you again Corinne.
-
LEY EDGECOMBE June 28, 2012
You have
the amazing talent of saying exactly what I am thinking but so much better.Just fabulous stuff, Corinne.
Have you thought about politics?
You & I could run the country.
Ley
-
Cate P June 28, 2012
No, don’t go into politics, Corinne. It’s much more fun watching you tweet about Question Time from the outside looking in.
-
Alberta June 28, 2012
Good for you Corrine. You have cast a bright light on to all the manufactured rage that is used to stop individuals thinking constructively about resolutions and ways forward. So much easier to hate and rage against the people, football team, political party, left wing/right wing idea that is the position adopted by your tribe than to actually attempt to apply any intellectual rigour and clarity to your thinking.
-
liza June 28, 2012
what amazes me is how we can choose to take substantial numbers of wealthy and/or professional migrants and yet take in only a handful of refugees.Experience shows that refugees have mostly brought credit to themselves and families as they are so grateful. Meanwhile many poor countries are losing their best and brightest to staff our hospitals .
The best bet would be to reduce our intake of unhappy Westerners who lost a lot of money on the stock exchange and increase our refugee numbers substantially. -
Sharon Ellam June 28, 2012
Ah yes! Nice to know someone else isn’t tricked by the blame & glory game fuelled by the media & lapped up by voters (apparently). How about we extend ourselves wider & consider this from an international viewpoint? The international human rights movements like the blame & glory game too. Time for real people & less egos.
PS Note I didn’t mention the pollies – they say what gets them a ticket on the nightly-news bus. Change the bus & the travellers might be different. -
Kate June 28, 2012
Thank you, Corinne. I just want to bash all their heads together and sit them down and make them explain to amazing people like Azhar Karbalali why she and her family don’t deserve a life.
The tears have sickened me, especially from people who want to bring back temporary protection visas. Let’s just leave traumatised people in limbo and inflict more mental torment. And can the Coalition explain why Malaysia is the worst thing ever, but sending the boats back to Indonesia is fine? Labor needs to grow a backbone and a conscience and stand up for what is right.
The late compassionate independent Peter Andren would be disgusted. After Tampa he explained to his regional electorate why he supported asylum seekers and, while the rest of the country was taken in by the Howard scare campaign, Andren’s vote increased.
-
Mez June 28, 2012
Boat people are most definitely NOT Australia’s favorite punching bag! What an outrageous thing to say. The lunacy of the ALP and Green policies is what Australans are outraged about. Please stop confusing the people smuggling business with immigration.
-
Ro. Watson June 28, 2012
I feel sickened by how Australians can self promote about being a country that promotes human rights while at the same time treating people as less than human when they are put in a certain category which takes away their basic human rights here in Australia~ by putting them in detention for long periods~ imagine as it is some trouble to get an Australian passport~ identity confirmation etc…in a safe state~ how hard when where you lived is not safe~ maybe exit visas from third countries where you don’t have a travel document~ because your country of origin won’t give you one or it is unsafe to hold one ? Don’t know~ but feel Assange has more attention than other material that needs correction..
