CORINNE GRANT’S RAGE INDEX
There’s no sense in getting angry if you don’t know how to do it properly.
Here’s the stuff to get worked up about this week and, more importantly, the extent to which you should do your lolly.
In a stern lecture to the little people, Gina made the very good point that poor people earn far too much and we should lower their wages. She then made the further good point that poor people are poor because they’re not working hard enough. See? It’s easy: all you have to do is earn less and work longer hours and soon you’ll be a multi-billionaire just like her.* Oh! And perhaps you could send your children to work in one of her mines.
*Rich father who leaves his entire wealth to you sold separately.
Outrage level: Gina Rinehart has done an incredible amount for this country. She has every right to be furious at us for not getting off our lazy arses and making her queen.
Germaine Greer was allowed back on Q&A and made a dick of herself. Again.
Nowadays, being Germaine Greer means being an expert on a few things and pretending you’re an expert on everything else. Her current tactic is to keep talking for long enough that people forget she didn’t answer the original question and is actually spouting complete bullshit. Given the chance to explain why she focussed on the Prime Minister’s jackets and body instead of her achievements and work the last time she was on the show, Greer claimed that, thanks to her, Gillard has changed her wardrobe. She hasn’t. Germaine then banged on about Julia’s arse again and gave it the thumbs up. The weird thing was, she appears to believe she’s doing Gillard some sort of favour.
Outrage level: If you’re opinionated, have poor reasoning skills and lack the ability to form a logical argument and you haven’t had a go on Q&A yet, you have every right to chuck a massive wobbly that Greer keeps taking your spot.
The European price of carbon is going to kill us all.
See? SEE??? Tony Abbott said the carbon tax was going to ruin us!
…he was just off by a few years.
The price of carbon in Europe is cheaper than here. In three years, our carbon price will be linked to their carbon price. This means we are going to enter an economic hell hole from which we will never escape. Tony Abbott has a similar accuracy rate to Nostradamus – so if he says we’re all going to die of poorness, then we are all going to die of poorness. Just like we died of the mining tax, the carbon tax and aluminium in roll-on deodorant.
Outrage level: I used the words ‘carbon tax’. If you kept reading after that point instead of starting to yell and throw things, then you aren’t doing this right.
Tony Abbott is being picked on by girls.
First, Anna Burke kicks Abbott out of Parliament, then Leigh Sales (left) asks him rude questions about whether he read the report he went on her program to discuss, then Julia Gillard takes on the whole press gallery just to show off and make Tony look bad because he wet himself when one person asked him questions. This is a conspiracy and it’s not just any conspiracy, it’s a great, big lady-orchestrated conspiracy designed to pick on Tony Abbott. I’ll bet you any money it’s being secretly funded by Emily’s List.
Outrage level: Pure, unbridled fury. Go out, find yourself a mouthy chick and call her a cow.
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