HAVE COFFEE, MUST WALK
It used to be the oversized tote bag. Now it is the oversized Styrofoam cup.
From Katie Holmes to Miley Cyrus, Madonna to Britney Spears, all the best celebrities are carrying them. Huge, takeaway cups of coffee the size of small children. They cannot seem to become mobile without them.
But why? Why are they carrying cups? Why can they not walk from A to B without a large takeaway coffee in their hands?
Well, the answer is no doubt: They love their coffee. And why wouldn’t they love their coffee? I love my coffee too. I love my coffee desperately, using ‘love’ in the sense that ‘I love to breathe’. I just don’t need to carry my coffee in a cup as I walk down the street.
I don’t really understand the takeaway coffee phenomenon. What is the need to carry a Styrofoam cup? Are they security cups, like my daughter’s blankie? Are they liquid pet substitutes, for people who can’t care for a poodle?
Or are they the latest in fashion accessories for those who’ve run out of limbs to adorn? Do ordinary people carry around cups of coffee too, or just celebrities? And how will we ever know, if there aren’t any paparazzi to photograph them?
I can never walk around holding a cup of coffee.
For one thing, I find it impossible to drink and walk. Unlike celebrities, I don’t have free hands, as they are generally filled with children and shopping.
You boil the kettle. You get out the mug. You sit down at the table with the morning paper. And then you pick up your steaming coffee – as good as any barista-brewed cup – take a deep breath, and enjoy. You can’t do that when you’re racing from the gym to the car.
Even better, I prefer to drink my coffee at home. When I’m drinking coffee at home, I can totally relax. I can drink my coffee in my pyjamas, if that’s what I choose. I can drink it in bed (particularly if someone else makes it for me). I can drink it stark naked, if I have the inclination.
And I can drink it without having to open my purse and take out money, which is a very nice added incentive indeed.
Still, perhaps celebrities don’t worry about these things. Perhaps they have someone else to get them dressed and out of bed. Perhaps they have someone else to carry their shopping. And spending hundreds of dollars on takeout isn’t a big deal.
But for me, I’d rather stay at home with the kettle. And drink my coffee on the couch, with my feet up, in my pyjamas.
Because that’s just the kind of non-celebrity I am.
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*Kerri Sackville is a writer who lives in Sydney with her husband and three kids. Her first book was When My Husband Does the Dishes and her second book The Little Book of Anxiety is out now. You can follow Kerri’s blog here and catch up with her on Twitter here.