BAD SPORTS PARENTS SENT OFF!
“Citius, Altius, Fortius, f*&@” (faster, higher, stronger, swearier).
Tonight the children of Australia will be thinking of the spirit of co-operation between nations and the values of sportsmanship as the London Olympic games kick off with tremendous fanfare.
Barred for abuse at his son’s under-9 game … Hawthorn coach Alastair Clarkson. Photograph via Fox Sports.
Tomorrow morning almost 1.8 million billy lids will be at muddy sporting fields, netball courts, softball diamonds and swimming pools trying to emulate their heroes.
And instead of cheering fans on the sidelines?
It will be a grumpy crowd of unhinged parents abusing the umpire, challenging match officials, swearing abuse at other parents… and kids on the opposing team… and generally making pests of themselves. Ruining it for everyone.
And with the semi-finals about to start, things are only going to get worse.
Why do even the most sane, rational parents lose the plot at kids’ sport?
The latest offender is AFL Hawthorn coach Alastair Clark… of all people. The Hawthorn coach has been barred from the first four rounds of next season’s South Metro Junior Football League after abusing a league official at his son’s under-9 game last Sunday.
Yes, you read that right. Under nine.
At least Clarkson has the good grace to say he has been humiliated by his actions in abusing 19-year-old umpire, Thomas Grundy.
“I got myself involved in a situation, with my profile and experience from the game, that I should have known better,” he said.
“I should have pulled myself out of that situation or handled myself better in that situation.
“I’m really disappointed with my actions, I’m disappointed it’s brought such attention to the whole football world, I’m disappointed that it’s brought Thomas to the attention of the whole football world – he’s a 19-year-old lad who’s gone to the football to officiate in the manner that he did and he doesn’t expect any person, let alone the coach of an AFL club, to talk to him in that manner.”
Clarkson said he believed the four-match suspension – which carries over to next year as this year’s under-9 season has concluded – was appropriate.
However, a quick whip around of the mums here at The Hoopla admitted that behaviour at girls netball games is even worse!
Parents come up with all the excuses in the world for why they get so riled up: officials who want to “even things up” because one side is doing better than the other; teams that substitute players from higher grades; penalties that go unnoticed; the same players getting on-field playing time over and over again; coaches who do not recognise their child’s potential; children who make the same mistakes over and over, week in and week out.
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17 Responses to this article
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Jo July 27, 2012
I have returned to social netball after a very long break and have had to check myself in “providing feedback” to umpires. After one game I reflected that it was unseemly for a woman in her forties to be “berate” someone considerably younger. It was not how I behaved off the court and decided that I would try harder to hold myself in check on the court. There was no bad language or threatening behavior on my part but it was still not in the spirit of the social comp I had joined.
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Kristy July 27, 2012
My son plays under 8 Soccer and I will cheer for a good tackle, a good move or goal regardless of it it is my son, his team mate or the other team. I often get some very strange looks from other parents when I clap and say well done for the other team, I have even had people say “you are cheering the wrong team love” I don’t think I am wrong, I think all children need encouragement and if they do something good i will let them know.
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Roni Jean July 27, 2012
I didn’t realise how much my objections to certain umpire calls were actually being noticed until during one game, another player on the opposing team and I accidently clashed heads while grappling for the ball. The whistle blew and as we both automatically faced off for a toss-up I mumbled a comment. The umpire immediately started berating me, saying how he was the umpire, and how sick and tired he was of hearing me complain about his calls. The other player and I stood dumfounded, at his tirade. Then the other player quietly told him, “She said, ‘Ow, that hurt. Are you alright?’” Innocent on this occasion, but it made me more aware of keeping my comments to myself regarding the umpiring, as I had never meant for them to be taken seriously, and certainly didn’t realise that they were causing any anxiety.
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Jen P July 27, 2012
Any parent who thinks it’s okay to smoke around junior sport is a bad parent full stop. It’s not only unsafe (there is NO safe level of cigarette smoke exposure), it sets a bad example to young people and is quite frankly a disgusting and filthy attack on anyone who wishes to breathe. There should be a nation-wide immediate ban on smoking at any junior sporting event or venue.
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soozy July 27, 2012
I have been a netball umpire since I was 12, I’m now 48 and have seen it all. BUT it is getting worse. Our club recently instigated a system where learing umpires have experienced ‘runners’ with them for the first few weeks. So it is obvious that these girls are learning, and they still cop it. I know I have questioned some calls over the years – and sometimes I can’t help myself, I coach the umpires. If you really have an issue with your umpire – go to the desk and complain. if you have an issue with your coach or your child’s coach, complain the correct way. Each club and association has procedures use them. But I have found that the most vocal complainers are usually those who haven’t played and have limited knowledge of the rules – netball Dads and rugby Mums.
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sami July 27, 2012
I never understood this level of ‘passion’ or anger or whatever, but then again I’m not a parent. Frankly if sport isn’t fun for kids then what’s the point? Aren’t they out there to learn new physical skills, to make friends and to have a laugh?
As a player I always accepted the fact that an umpire is human. I made mistakes playing, they made mistakes calling. In the grand scheme of things it’s really not a big deal.
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Kris July 27, 2012
I am an “enthusastic” supporter of my kid’s soccer team. Yes, I’m the embarrasing mum screaming “come on, pass the ball, great goal” etc at the top of my lungs, jumping up & down & generally making a spectacle of myself. And I dpn’t care which side scores the goal. A good goal is a good goal, regardless of which team scores it.
As with most parents I know, we will utter the odd “What?!?” or “Oh, come on ref” when we don’t agree with the call, especially in a really close game, but that’s as far as it goes. Most of the time the refs are just kids themselves. Everyone makes mistakes and no-one deserves to be berated for making a mistake.
Thankfully, in all the years my kids have been playing I’ve only seen one parent told-off for having a go at the ref. The parent was a player & ref them themselves so he really should have known better. I don’t know what the ref said to him, but he was on his best behaviour for the rest of the season!!
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Kaz July 27, 2012
Our kids are still too young and I dread the days when what at the moment is a weekly run around becomes competitive and about more than just getting in and having a go. I would also hope that if my children were ever in a team where another child’s parent was being overly aggressive towards either the umpire, or their own child, I would have the courage to ask them to tone it down. After all these years I’ve spent patiently teaching my tribe that life isn’t always about being the best, but about doing your best, I don’t want them to observe another child being berated, or the bad sportsmanship beating an umpire demonstrates.
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Sara July 27, 2012
My son plays under 9 soccer, and after an upbringing where sport did not play a featuring role, I have been pleasantly surprised by how fun coming to soccer games can be. All the parents are well mannered and cheer everybody on. If someone on the other team does something impressive everyone claps. I’ve heard horror stories of course, but luckily I don’t see it.
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Susie July 27, 2012
My Dad was a netball Dad – yelling from the sidelines when he didn’t even understand the rules. I was mortified when he used to come to the games (which wasn’t that often, but I remember them clearly). He was a knob then and 30 years later I still think he is a knob! Parents – pull your heads in and stop living vicariously through your kids. If you were so good at sport you would understand that sporting excellence is alot of hard work and which you weren’t able to achieve either!
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Rhoda July 27, 2012
I come from a family who all played sport – tennis and athletics mainly, but the boys also played rugby and golf. Tell you what, the sidelines can be a scary place to be. It’s ridiculous the way some spectator parents conduct themselves. What I most dislike is how they berate their children. You’d think every fixture match was an Olympic final the way they carry on.
And I agree with the others – parents should be cheering both teams and encouraging the spirit of fair play so we can all enjoy the game. That’s exactly what I taught my kids and one went on to professional competition in a different sport all together. I didn’t have to push, yell, demand more effort or chauffeur him to special coaching. He followed his own dreams.
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Benison O'Reilly July 27, 2012
People who live their athletic dreams through their kids are losers. It’s hard not to mutter a few curses at bad referee decisions, however ; at our son’s soccer game recently the ref was so blind and biased that all the dads said he should have been signed up by the ARL for State of Origin duty!
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TMT July 27, 2012
You really think a soccer mum of a 7 yr old is living her athletic dream? She wasn’t dreaming very big was she?
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Melanie July 27, 2012
My daughter gave up soccer refereeing after an unpleasant incident in an Under 6 game (where the result is not supposed to matter). A parent from one team ran onto the field and picked up the ball to stop play and told her she should have stopped play. It ended with parents from both sides yelling advice as to what she should do. Great way to encourage young refs! She was 13 at the time.
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Peter July 29, 2012
We have coaches who do the same thing. They are parents who not only want the best for their kids, but will do whatever it takes to ensure it happens, even to the detriment of other players or the club in general. This is under 11′s. One coach is so into recruitment that he sacked 3 of his u/10′s premiership winning team, that lost only one game all year and replaced them with 5 boys from another team with the promise of a end of year medal. It has become so important to him that his son wins every game and nothing but winning matters that he has seen boys give up playing the sport because they feel useless having been dropped from playing with their mates. Once again this is U/11′s. Our junior rugby league club has essentially endorsed this by not taking control of the team and allowing him total control of that particular age group. So it is not only the parent on the side line who yell and scream at the players, its also the coaches who are trying to relive their childhood through their sons.
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AK July 30, 2012
I’ve experienced generally good behaviour at junior football – coaches and parents backup the umpires’ calls even when mistakes are made (at this level, the umpires are learning as well). We cheer efforts from all kids, and applaud good play coming from the opposition.
The club we play with are very clear about what behaviour is and is not acceptable, and any breach of those guidelines is promptly dealt with.
Having said that, I’ve also seen the not-so-fabulous examples of poor sportsmanship. Most recently there was the mother who actually stopped play to argue with the coach because her little darling was being swapped to a less prestigious position – while she was scoring the game!
