GOT BALLS? BOLLOCKS TO THAT!
I do try to be a “gutsy” sort of person.
“Get out there. Be strong. Show ‘em what you’re made of. Have a bloody go,” are all variations on a theme that have been drummed into me by my father since I was a child.
Sometimes I struggle mightily with this expectation. But I’m pleased to say that my outspokenness is the very thing that attracted my husband to me. (That and my shapely pins, he reckons.) And in an echo of my father’s admonishments he says: “Don’t be pathetic. Stand up for your beliefs.”
I have two great mentors in my life, both men. But like them, do I have “balls”?
I once heard Kristy Kirk-Fraser, the woman who brought the sexual harrassment case against David Jones CEO, Mark McInnes described on the nightly news by an admirer in this way : “She’s really got balls!”
(Which was quite ironic really, since it wasn’t her balls that were the problem.)
How about Margaret Thatcher, Aung San Suu Kyi, Golda Meir, Angela Merkel, Erin Brockovich, Hillary Clinton… or even Mother Theresa? Are they all “ballsy”? Do they have “cojones”?
In fact, is every woman who speaks her mind or stands up for herself deemed to have testicles?
Writing in The Australian, Janet Albrechtsen said most male political leaders didn’t have Margaret Thatcher’s balls – managing to insult everyone, all at once.
Why do we persist with this odd description? Bollocks to that, I say.
I’ve given birth and made my way in male-dominated fields all my working life and can tell you I’ve never felt the need for testes.
Nor has any woman I’ve ever met.
Apparently they can turn blue (alarming), itch (eeyew), get caught in your zipper (aagh) and are hazardous when bike-riding or playing with toddlers with bats (according to Funniest Home Videos).
I don’t regard having balls as a term of admiration, even though I understand that men are mightily fond of theirs and think they are being complimentary.
I’ll add to that. My son doesn’t need to “grow a pair” to show he can stand up for himself. And if my daughter does, she and I should really have a serious talk.
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25 Responses to this article
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Carz June 18, 2012
I am over testicles being painted as the ultimate show of strength. A rival on-line opinion site used a headline over the weekend that said “Smith will need balls to tackle the top brass” in reference to the report on bullying and sexual assault in the ADF, as if having testicles is paramount to doing the right thing, or the hard thing (okay, maybe I shouldn’t go there). You know what; testicles are weak and vulnerable and a tight pair of panties can stop them working properly. Makes them appear less than optimal as a show of strength when you consider the fact.
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Vanessa June 18, 2012
Balls are not the ultimate object of desire as they are, as Carz says, weak and vulnerable (and not really the most lovely looking of things) whereas a vagina has to be tough as nails due to the pounding they take from sexual encounters and child birth. Crass but true. So give me a vagina any day.
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Vanessa June 18, 2012
Sorry didn’t answer your question. No I never say that anybody should grow balls or that they have balls. Seems ludicrous to me. Just as bad to call a man a ‘girl’ because he is doing something seen as less than manly. *Shudder*
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Annie Also June 18, 2012
It was Betty White (Golden Girls) who said that about testicles being so soft, sensitive ( god they even go up and down according to the temperature), and vulnerable and that to be tough is to be like a Vagina considering what it has to go through ( including childbirth).
I never use that term. I like the sentence; She is such a feisty woman. -
Lady Jewels Diva June 18, 2012
I say people need to grow a pair, but it’s fairly in comparison with saying grow a backbone, so regardless of what you say it’s all pretty much the same as get some guts.
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Margaret Mila June 18, 2012
Unlike ‘backbones’ and ‘guts’, ‘growing a pair’ is gender specific, so I don’t think it really is comparable.
One of my pet hates is the word ‘feisty’ which only seems to be applied to women, and implies that she has the cheek to mix it with the boys.
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MichelleP June 18, 2012
http://pinterest.com/pin/1900024812551283/
Always post this to people who say ‘Grow some balls’ or ‘She’s got balls’
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Alice Shaw June 18, 2012
Those things hanging from the backs of utes really are supposed to be testicles??! Why???
My take on testicles is that one swift kick and the owner goes down like a sack of spuds. That doesn’t seem so strong to me! I am really sick of hearing that a person should “strap on a pair, grow a pair, get some balls” etc. I realise they are a symbol of manhood (to men) but they are not, to me at least, a symbol of strength.
I do not believe I could do what I do any better if I had balls (I may get higher pay though). Whilst I like men (yes I do) and I like that their bits are different than mine, I don’t believe that having testicles makes one smarter, more powerful, or more capable so I won’t be “strapping on a pair” anytime soon, unless you are referring to a pair of fantastic new Manolos
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Prue June 18, 2012
Completely agree Wendy. Recently my 21 year old son described as ‘ballsy’ my driving over the Harbour Bridge at 5am with a seriously overheating car and while I definitely felt it as a compliment, at the same time I felt that it couldn’t really apply. Brave, gutsy, crazy or just plain foolhardy would have all made more sense and been felt a lot more.
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Sarah June 18, 2012
I’d much rather have a vagina. That thing takes a pounding.
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Di June 18, 2012
No, I am pleased to say I never use that term. Here’s to ovary power!!
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neeter June 18, 2012
Thanks Wendy. Growing up a little tomboy in a country town at a catholic school meant I got teased for having balls all the time. I just hated it. It took me a long time to realise that being gay was OK! And yes, I didn’t give the catholics a capital on purpose, since they did nothing to reassure me or tell me I was OK just the way I was.
Yes and I think the same about the truck nuts. They remind me of divorced men who have lost everything and they are trying to show they are growing them back or something. Erk.
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Marketa June 18, 2012
Thanks for this article
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As english is not my mother tongue.. and IF I posses some.. knowledge of it – my english is from OZ as I studied there. I always thought about phrase to have.. balls or not, strange. Have never implemented to my vocabulary to be on safe side AND guess what now ; surprise, surprise NOW in my OWN (czech..) language peeps, as they wanna show off that they CAN speak / understand / translate, they do start to use THIS exact phrase which is SO NOT czech . I always laugh. All best -
Waterhen June 18, 2012
Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding. Thankyou Betty White
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MichelleP June 18, 2012
Just had a thought, how exactly do you grow balls? In the same way you grow a money tree?
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Sam June 19, 2012
Too bloody right to Bollocks to That! When I worked as an outdoor instructor in my 20s, surrounded mostly by beefed up testerone filled Alpha males, I was given the dubious ‘compliment’ of being named “An honorary bloke” by said males, for allegedly keeping up with them in the sporty stakes. Sadly, a female instructor wihin a chiefly man’s domain, at the time I felt I had to do twice as well as the boys to remain on par with them. I rejected the ‘honorary bloke tag’ just like the cringe worthy “Don’t be a big girl’s blouse!” they used to shout out if someone was struggling with some physical pusuit. Like you Wendy, I don’t have a need for balls or the testosterone they produce to prove myself!
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Tess Zed June 19, 2012
It’s funny that references to balls can be used to compliment or to insult. To ‘have balls’ is good (apparently), to be told to ‘grow some’ not so good, to be called a ‘ball breaker’ is one of the worse things a women can be described as. Friends in the business world tell me confident, assertive women get called this all the time. What a pity people still use these derogatory, sexist terms to describe women. Worse still is women who describe other women in this way. But that’s another thing altogether…
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Jane Caro June 20, 2012
I always say; “thanks, but actually I’ve got ovaries, and they are much bigger.”
Shuts them right up. -
Ron June 20, 2012
“You’ve got balls,” is a ridiculous phrase whether addressing male or females. The former because it’s tautological, the latter because it’s ironic. It was originally a term used by men, for men, a method of acknowledging masculine bravado, which really highlighted their own insecurities about any lack of “balls” they may possess. But it is now a comedic and colorful way of paying someone a compliment; a form of humorous equality, if you will. You seriously think I could get away with saying, “You’ve got vag,” to my girlfriend next time she impresses me with her fortitude? I guarantee you I will no longer “have balls” neither figuratively or literally if I try that little maneuver.
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Bri June 20, 2012
I agree with you Ron, I just wonder when women will start representing themselves truthfully instead of living up to this feminist caricature we have created for ourselves.
Perhaps this is why so few female authors receive literary prizes, because no one cares what petty thing the majority are making a storm in a tea cup over. -
Sharon Ellam July 3, 2012
I’m offended when someone tells me I have balls. What I have is determination. What motivates me is a ‘naysayer’. So, tell me I can’t do something & I’ll show you a way! I think of myself as having guts!
In the meantime….this is not getting this damn self-critique written….no balls…no guts….just plain procrastination! But ‘procrastination’ I do DAMN WELL!!
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amd August 4, 2012
Where I come from they say he or she has some bottle, meaning courage or spirit. Not sure why, but it’s better than balls I reckon.
